Dental plan!

Quit stalling! What's the plan!


Oh, I'm.......not a doctor.

Tallaght Saint

Homer: (looking through the ice cream freezer) Cherry Garcia? Honey Bono? Desmond Tutti-Frutti? Lisa, help Daddy find some normal flavors. (lifts her to the top shelf)

Lisa: Candy Warhol, Xavier Nougat--

Homer: Naw, nothin' made of dead guys. What's in the back? (pushes Lisa all the way in, making her shiver) Hurry up! My hands are getting cold!

Sam Vimes

I can't take his money. I can't print my own money. You want me to work for money. Why don't I just lay down and die!

I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

I never apologize, I'm sorry but that's the way I am.

I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

Is the poop deck really what I think it is?

It's not just a store - it's a Megastore! 'Mega' means 'good,' 'store' means 'thing.

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come.

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV. That's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that so called volunteers don't even get paid?

Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

xzanti

Nobody's ever called me 'Sir' before, unless it was followed by "you're making a scene"

Edit: BAh feck ya Sam Vimes :pac:

d.anthony

*Homer reading free-ads paper, suddenly gets excited*

''OH...MY....GOD...., TRAMAMPOLINE!................ TRAMBOPOLINE''

some_dose

Willlie: If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would have taken the orange eating class!
Hans Moleman: The eating of an orange is alot like a good marriage.
Grandpa Simpson: JUST EAT THE DAMN ORANGE

Sam Vimes

xzanti wrote: »

Edit: BAh feck ya Sam Vimes :pac:

Thank you come again :pac:

Hedman

Scully: Now we're gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. We'll just ask you some questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes.


I]lie detector explodes[/I

jonnygiles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m0ZX9M9rE0

And my favourite-TWO PLUS TWO IS FOUR!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QamU4-8NUw

take everything

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

take everything

Skinner: Okay, people! Let's have a round of applause for the real comptroller!
Atkins: Huh?
Chalmers: [under his breath] Idiot.

krudler

*last day fo school, kids running for the door*
Teacher: waaaait, you didnt hear how World War 2 ended!"
"WE WON!"
yaaaaaay! U-S-A! U-S-A!

krudler

Caalllllllmmm doooown Nedilly-diddly-iddly!
only did their best, shoddily-iddly-iddly!

krudler

What'd you get this fruit basket for?
For pushing Mr Burns out of a third storey window.
Did he die?
What am I, a doctor?

Busi_Girl08

Homer - "Hey. How come you guys get such good parking spaces?"
Lenny - "It's a secret"
Carl - "Shhhut uuup!"

Krieg

Don't tell him you were at a bar! But what else is open at night?

It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.

the purple tin

This is the first time anyone has sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes.

Armin Tamzerian-Up yours children.

krudler

Can I borrow your copy of Swank Armin?

SeaFields

English instructions ruined...must use French instructions...

La Grill?!! What the hell is that?

take everything

Homer: My own son going on his first date. (Singing) Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, (faster) Cats and the cradle and the silver spoon. Yes, we have no bananas. (Starts sobbing)

Marge: Aw, Homie it is sweet Bart is going on a date.
Homer: No, it's not that, they have no bananas.




Lisa: Bart, we can't just let her get away with this.

Bart: Give it up, Lis: she's a criminal mastermind. She's got 108 IQ, she reads at a fifth grade level, and... (sighs) her hair smells like red Fruit Loops.

Lisa: Yeah? Well, I eat Fruit Loops for breakfast.

xzanti

Aaah.. free n easy Lis'

Huh?

take everything

Homer: [trying to casually buy illegal fireworks]
Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas... eh, make it two.
Later...
Marge [seeing Homer's purchases]
I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.

Busi_Girl08

I'll just have a coffee.

Beer it is.

No, I said "coffee"

"Beer?"

C-O

B-E

ronnie3585

I get no regard, no regard at all

the purple tin

Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me, but biff! Bam! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me... and that's when I got mad.

take everything

"PRAY…FOR…MOJO!"

some_dose

Wait a minute - Bart's teacher is called Krabapple? I've been calling her Krandel! Why didn't someone tell me?! Awww I've been making an idiot out of myself! (runs off sobbing)

flamboosh

"I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought-dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I...I can't compete with that stuff."

bluecatmorgana

Noone ever says Italy

Gunsfortoys

How ironic....blind after a lifetime of being able to see.