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Online Dating

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    #182
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    well i was more so suggesting a bad photo doesn't have to indicate a person with a lack of confidence.

    No, but you'd have to question the motives of someone who puts up a decidedly bad photo of themselves on a site in which they're meant to be attracting people.


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    #183
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    It was only on joining OKCupid that I realised how many pictures I have where I have purposely made some idiotic face for comedy value. Or else I'd find a somewhat decent picture of me only to have one of my female friends right beside me, which is not exactly ideal for a dating site! I would be in no way a party animal either where I'm sloshed in every picture, it is just that I don't have that many pictures suited to a dating site. Take a camera out and I seem to automatically turn into The Fonz! I think girls on average have more pictures and they tend to be able to pose a little bit better. Just compare the Know Your Loungers Thread to the Know Your Clubbers thread. But I used a few of my Facebook profile pictures and I think they show me as I actually am, not boring but not a Van Wilder type either. Although I did throw in a Halloween picture to show I could be a laugh too. Not sure now if that was a good idea!

    I was pretty apprehensive about joining OKCupid and didn't really expect that many responses but I have been a little surprised. I still don't have have the Liah/Magneticimpulse daily avalanche in my inbox, but I'd guess I have got messages/replies from about 15 girls over the past 2 weeks (not including multiple messages back and forth with the same person). Now not all of these will lead to meet-ups and I had been sick the last 2 weeks anyway so I was pretty much house bound, but it is a start anyway.

    So I definitely give it the thumbs up. I'd been pretty unsure about it and wouldn't consider myself to be anything more than average looking, but on that site it does seem that making an effort can get you somewhere. I think turning 25 a few weeks ago has made a big difference in the amount of replies/messages I get as that seems to be the minimum age that most girls are looking for on there. But I would still say I'm at least 3-5 years away from the ideal age for male online daters.


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    #184
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    magneticimpulse wrote: »
    Oh come on, alot of people are on Facebook or other social sites these days. Id say people must have "decent" profile photos on those sites. Even my parents and aunties and uncles are on Facebook and they managed to get decent profile photos when they barely know how to work a digital camera.

    My profile pictures are rarely of me. I find it best privacy wise, for when I'm posting on groups or pages
    Online dating is all about making good 1st impressions. From the amount of emails I get, I can afford to be picky. And im giving my advice. If you want to go against the grain and be wacky in your photos thats fine. But dont complain when you dont have any success at online dating.

    I'm on both OKCupid and POF and on both of these sites I have pictures as me dressed as a Zombie. The amount of times this has been a conversation starter is amazing.


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    #185
    Red Hand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    magneticimpulse wrote: »
    I look at online dating like a job interview...

    Yikes. Fair play, but is that the story when on a date as well?

    "Describe your stengths and weaknesses."

    "Have you ever had conflict with a coworker/manager partner? How did you deal with it?"

    "Who would be your first choice as regards your stated referees?"

    :pac:


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    #186
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »
    Yikes. Fair play, but is that the story when on a date as well?

    "Describe your stengths and weaknesses."

    "Have you ever had conflict with a coworker/manager partner? How did you deal with it?"

    "Who would be your first choice as regards your stated referees?"

    :pac:

    Who do you see yourself dating in 5 years time?


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    #187
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    Who do you see yourself dating in 5 years time?

    Why do you want to work for us date me?


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    #188
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    ^ its not that serious...but sure it is for a position to be the most important job of all...husband, father, son in law!!! Its a pretty exceptional "job" in my view.

    I spend many years working for my career....primary school, secondary school...topped of with 8 years in University! 4 years work experience...etc etc

    Why would I put in any less effort into finding the man I want to spend the rest of my life with if I put that much effort into a job? Surely family and friends are more important then jobs...so yeah I do take it serious.

    It depends what your looking for...zombie costumes etc prob do work well for a date...but im looking for a long term thing.


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    #189
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    no harm, no foul. i was just remarking on a couple of your comments earlier. i didn't intend them to dig in or anything as such.


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    #190
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    magneticimpulse wrote: »
    ^ its not that serious...but sure it is for a position to be the most important job of all...husband, father, son in law!!! Its a pretty exceptional "job" in my view.

    I spend many years working for my career....primary school, secondary school...topped of with 8 years in University! 4 years work experience...etc etc

    Why would I put in any less effort into finding the man I want to spend the rest of my life with if I put that much effort into a job? Surely family and friends are more important then jobs...so yeah I do take it serious.

    It depends what your looking for...zombie costumes etc prob do work well for a date...but im looking for a long term thing.

    So my dressing as a zombie means that I'm less capable or willing for a long term thing?

    Yikes. Such sweeping generalizations!


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    #191
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    magneticimpulse wrote: »
    Why would I put in any less effort into finding the man I want to spend the rest of my life with if I put that much effort into a job? Surely family and friends are more important then jobs...so yeah I do take it serious.

    Maybe this is why online dating is something that people don't so easily accept as it shows a sort of seriousness about finding someone as opposed to going about it more casually under the guise of going to the pub/club. It's like actively looking for a relationship is considered embarrassing for some reason, possibly because people think it should be easy if you're a decent person / good looking. I'm not saying I agree with this, I'm just saying maybe this is the attitude that's out there.
    Dravokivich wrote: »
    no harm, no foul. i was just remarking on a couple of your comments earlier. i didn't intend them to dig in or anything as such.

    As was I.


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    #192
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    Deleted User wrote: »
    So my dressing as a zombie means that I'm less capable or willing for a long term thing?

    Yikes. Such sweeping generalizations!

    No, boneyarse. You just have to hold out for the right woman. The one has dreamt of the zombie man of her dreams. Hang in there. She is still dreaming about you.

    Women who have their age in their profile of being in their 20's tend to get beseiged by emails. And a lot of those emails are not nice. Which is unfortunate, as the the wheat occasionally gets thrown out with the chaff.

    Galvasean, you have an angle with your dinosaurs. You are doing well. Hold out in there.

    I must be in a terribly romantic mood today, but I really do think this online dating this is the best thing to come out of the whole internet revolution, in terms of breaking down the impossibility of meeting somebody outside your 'circle', (if you belong to one), outside pubs/clubs/weddings/ through friends.


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    #193
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Darlughda wrote: »
    No, boneyarse. You just have to hold out for the right woman. The one has dreamt of the zombie man of her dreams. Hang in there. She is still dreaming about you.

    I should probably say that the zombie picture(s) isn't/aren't my main one.
    Women who have their age in their profile of being in their 20's tend to get beseiged by emails. And a lot of those emails are not nice. Which is unfortunate, as the the wheat occasionally gets thrown out with the chaff.

    My house mate, who is an attractive 20 year old, uses POF and she often tells me of the kind of messages that she receives and the type of requests she gets. It's shocking!


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    #194
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    parker kent wrote: »
    It was only on joining OKCupid that I realised how many pictures I have where I have purposely made some idiotic face for comedy value. Or else I'd find a somewhat decent picture of me only to have one of my female friends right beside me, which is not exactly ideal for a dating site!

    Crop her out. Simples.


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    #195
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Crop her out. Simples.

    well that'd be a bit obvious, but yeah probably best.


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    #196
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    online dating is the single most annoying thing to plauge single people since....Well its annoying.

    i used to think it was all-right but its not, words like LOL , hahaha, have the time you have to comunicate with stuck up idiotic women with absaloutly no idea how pain fully difficult it is to satrt up with a conversation with them...

    Yet when Im out il do and say anything to any woman ina nice way and have crack i beleave it easy to meet people in person :)


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    #197
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Crop her out. Simples.

    Not exactly. In theory it works, but people are not always in positions that suit cropping and if not, you end up with an oddly cropped picture with half my body missing(as the girls are standing mildly in front of me or with an arm around me etc). My point was that the picture where you have a decent pose is often one with other people. Group shots don't always suit cropping.

    And anyway, as I say above I did use other pictures or ones that suited cropping. I was just annoyed that ones that show me in a good light would put girls off as I'm in photos with my friends (who just happen to be female)


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    #198
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    Not exactly. In theory it works, but people are not always in positions that suit cropping and if not, you end up with an oddly cropped picture with half my body missing(as the girls are standing mildly in front of me or with an arm around me etc).

    if the girl you have your arm around is quite good looking, it'd still be better to crop her tbh


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    #199
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    if the girl you have your arm around is quite good looking, it'd still be better to crop her tbh

    As I just said it is better to not use that picture and use something more suitable instead. Cropping some of those pictures would mean cropping part of my body or other similar problems.

    I'm hardly going to fill my profile with pictures of me with attractive girls.


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    #200
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    As I just said it is better to not use that picture and use something more suitable instead. Cropping some of those pictures would mean cropping part of my body or other similar problems.

    yeah you added this after I replied :confused:
    parker kent wrote: »
    I'm hardly going to fill my profile with pictures of me with attractive girls.

    well that was my point, that you shouldn't.


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    #201
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Yes I added that after in that post and you didn't see that. But I am mainly referring back to my original post. In that I was describing how it can take a while for a guy to find a suitable picture. I would have assumed that people would know that I would take cropping etc into account. I was just lamenting that a picture that shows you at your best with friends cannot be used because it features a friend who happens to be a girl.


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    #202
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    It's a pity that that's the case (about the pictures). I wonder would men be bothered about the same thing?


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    #203
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    stupidusername wrote: »
    It's a pity that that's the case (about the pictures). I wonder would men be bothered about the same thing?

    Well I find it a bit strange when girls have guys in their profile pictures, if I'm honest.


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    #204
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Well I find it a bit strange when girls have guys in their profile pictures, if I'm honest.

    yeah fair enough. why is that?


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    #205
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    My only personal issue with having somebody else in the picture is that the person may not be comfortable having a picture of them on the site. Plus a profile picture where it is difficult to identify the person is annoying.

    But I have no issue with a girl having a picture with a guy in it. I mean it is not as if I don't already know that are likely to have male friends or gasp...past boyfriends :eek: I only look for pictures without girls in them as I know pictures with a girl in them are not popular on dating sites.


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    #206
    Thomas828
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    Online dating? No, I won't consider it. I spent my teenage years in Belfast and Belfast in the 80s just wasn't the place to take a girl out. There was the pub, your place or hers and that was about it.

    That has affected my views of online dating. It's one thing to go on a date with a girl you know in real life. But to go on a date with one you've met online? No, I just can't see myself doing that.


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    #207
    TheNewMee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭TheNewMee


    Thomas828 wrote: »
    Online dating? No, I won't consider it. I spent my teenage years in Belfast and Belfast in the 80s just wasn't the place to take a girl out. There was the pub, your place or hers and that was about it.

    That has affected my views of online dating. It's one thing to go on a date with a girl you know in real life. But to go on a date with one you've met online? No, I just can't see myself doing that.

    I can see no connection between your first paragraph and your second :confused:


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    #208
    Howard the Duck
    Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭Howard the Duck


    I tried the online dating thing, When i say i tried it i joined a site and sent a few messages. I never actual met up and dated any girls from it.
    I do fine when i go out and never have a problem meeting girls. I was just trying because you can actually find out a girls interests before getting to know them.


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    #209
    PeakOutput
    Registered Users Posts: 7,639 ✭✭✭PeakOutput


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    online dating is the single most annoying thing to plauge single people since....Well its annoying.

    i used to think it was all-right but its not, words like LOL , hahaha, have the time you have to comunicate with stuck up idiotic women with absaloutly no idea how pain fully difficult it is to satrt up with a conversation with them...

    Yet when Im out il do and say anything to any woman ina nice way and have crack i beleave it easy to meet people in person :)

    grammar nazi in bad spelling and punctuation shocker

    i barely get away with not using capitals in my messages, if i spelled like you just did i imagine i would get some pretty stuck up sounding replies as well


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    #210
    Red Hand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    PeakOutput wrote: »
    grammar nazi in bad spelling and punctuation shocker

    i barely get away with not using capitals in my messages, if i spelled like you just did i imagine i would get some pretty stuck up sounding replies as well

    Dyslexia.


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    #211
    PeakOutput
    Registered Users Posts: 7,639 ✭✭✭PeakOutput


    Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »
    Dyslexia.

    spell check


This discussion has been closed.
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