Online Dating

Galvasean · 07-02-2011 2:02pm

That's why I only message people with pofile pictures! :pac:

Galvasean · 07-02-2011 2:06pm

Oh, and what's the deal with people who message you asking questions and then don't even open your reply?

PeakOutput · 07-02-2011 2:30pm

a girl i had messaged for a bit on one of these sites showed up at a party i was at last night

funny stuff i guess she knew i was a friend of a friend and had told them before she saw me on the site so they all knew. i didnt really care but her mates were trying their best to embarass me about it but she was pretty mortified and left shortly afterwards

Galvasean · 07-02-2011 2:36pm

PeakOutput wrote: »

a girl i had messaged for a bit on one of these sites showed up at a party i was at last night

funny stuff i guess she knew i was a friend of a friend and had told them before she saw me on the site so they all knew. i didnt really care but her mates were trying their best to embarass me about it but she was pretty mortified and left shortly afterwards

I really don't understand this attitude. People go 'on the pull' all the time looking fore dates, girl/boyfriends all the time, but throw internet into the mix and suddenly it's time to be mortified. Long gone are the days when using the internet was something to be 'ashamed' of.

PeakOutput · 07-02-2011 2:41pm

Galvasean wrote: »

I really don't understand this attitude. People go 'on the pull' all the time looking fore dates, girl/boyfriends all the time, but throw internet into the mix and suddenly it's time to be mortified. Long gone are the days when using the internet was something to be 'ashamed' of.

to be fair she might have been leaving anyway, i dont know if that was the reason, but she was too embarassed to talk to me but then i didnt try very hard either

the internet stigma thing is definitely an irish phenomenon. a mate of mine in new england this summer shocked me when he casually told everyone he was on his way out for a date with someone he met on pof. it was fairly refreshing to see no1 give a crap.

i do think internet dating is pretty **** overall though, maybe the pay sites are better(im pretty sure ill never use them) but i find far more things in common with people i meet in the real world then i do with 99% of people i talk to onine

liah · 07-02-2011 2:54pm

I don't think it'd be as embarrassing if they had better titles. :pac: I cringe a bit if I have to say I met someone on OkCupid or Smooch (never again) or whatever. It just sounds tacky..

Galvasean · 07-02-2011 3:02pm

I originally read OKcupid as 'ok-yoo-pid' (I thought it was some sort of bastardisation of the word 'occupied'), instead of 'okay cupid'. I still read it that way in my head. Sounds less lame.

magneticimpulse · 08-02-2011 8:00am

Im in the mood again so reopened match account

Giving POF a proper go. It actually seems better then match so far. Even thou its free, you can meet "long term" people on there and you can block people contacting you if they smoke etc. Whereas I couldnt set criteria on match.

snorlax · 08-02-2011 4:24pm

once went on date with a guy off a website..only problem was his photo was sorta misleading..he was only about 4 foot!

Misticles · 08-02-2011 5:59pm

I have deleted both of my accounts - POF and OKCupid.

I seemed to attract idiots looking for "fun" even though I had not chosen that on my profile.

I would be an attractive/cute girl with good personality so I was unsure as to why I attracted them. I did talk and go on dates with nice fellas - just didnt click with them!

I wasnt taken by OK Cupid at all though.

G'luck to people who are giving it a bash, I'm left with the plain oul option of meeting people when I'm out - how original :rolleyes:

Our man in Havana · 08-02-2011 6:50pm

I signed up to maybefriends.com back some 9 years ago when it was just starting off. Met my future wife on it on the first try and we are married now for 7 years.

magneticimpulse · 08-02-2011 9:13pm

OMG, ive been on it for 24 hours and got about 100 emails. At least 80 emails were from time wasters looking for a bit of fun. So many people dont bother at all with a nice email...been getting "hey babes" or "your hot".

Does that seriously attract any decent woman at all?

Now I remember why I closed my accounts before. I do have to say the quality on match.com is 100 times better then POF. At least the ratio is the opposite.

POF 80% time wasters looking for fun
match.com i would say only 10% time wasters looking for fun

Galvasean · 08-02-2011 9:37pm

Nobody mails me for fun

:P
Hmm, it makes me wonder what the male/female user ratio is. I'd say on average I get a mail every second week (connecting singles and OKcupid combined). That includes people who have replied to something I sent (always say something in relation to the actual profile too.
And before you ask if it's a looks thing, I severely doubt that.

magneticimpulse · 08-02-2011 10:11pm

Its not a looks thing at all. Its purely a 5 second judgement thing on their photos. These are some reasons why I did not reply to the 80 emails I rejected:

No profile photo = no response from me because he must have self confidence issues

Photo of him wearing sunglasses inside = ??? Sunglasses are for outside and also misleading as to how they look

Blurry photo, or photo with pint covering face, or in wetsuit and cannot see face or photo of his pet instead of him = self confidence issues

Photo of him licking the nipple of a statue = too vulgur and messer...not bringing home to mammy type

Photo of him on night out looking completely sloshed with girls on either arms or general on night out photos = not into commitment and no wedding bells in the next 10 years

Smoking cigar = So full of himself, Anchorman levels

No shirt on and huge six pack = not going to be another notch on your bed thank you

Polo shirt collar up = chav

Holding guns or various weapons = very scary

Rubber arm bands, mexican hat and standing in toy swimming pool = im not your mammy

Silly poses in suit = wants to love himself

No smile = does this guy enjoy life?

What profiles do i reply to:

If the profile photo is of him in a normal pose, fully clothed, with a natural smile on his face, even if its sort of fake smile (if its one he is making a genuine effort to smile), if he looks mature, sensible enough then ill reply...regardless of weight, size, looks etc.

I think maybe younger girls might fall for the no shirt, 6 pack guys...but the over 28 year olds can see pass that and will go for "normal" guys.

One last reason why I dont reply:

Too many responses and dont know where to begin. Im the worse person for responding to emails and text messages...i read them, think thats lovely and forget to reply.

Spent this morning sorting out the 100 emails down to 20 from lastnight and now have 20 more new emails...argh where to start??

And one last reason: when they write Im new to internet dating...and you have seen their profile on all the dating websites over the past year (Ireland aint that big haha)

liah · 08-02-2011 10:13pm

I get anywhere between 0-15 a day depending on how long I'm on the actual site for (e.g. if I'm on for half an hour to an hour I'd get around 5 or so, depending on the day), I notice I get way more mails when I'm on for a bit rather than when I just check in and log straight back out. Admittedly I've never actually sent a mail myself.

It's kind of horrible because I can't answer all of them, and 80% of them write really lovely and thoughtful mails, if I tried to reply to them all I'd never leave the computer.. Is it better to ignore them or send a one-sentence brush off? I feel awful doing either

But half of them just aren't suited or are a million miles away. I don't really know what to do or say.

EDIT: Oh, and it's just OkCupid for these.

magneticimpulse · 08-02-2011 10:45pm

^ im the exact same. would love to reply to lots of them, but just get too many. thou on POF they normally just say "hi" and thats it. At least on match.com you can wink people 1st to say your interested and then send a decent mail.

In saying that, I think its far better to get 1 or 2 genuine emails as oppose to 100 messers a day looking for fun. At this rate I will be single forever because all of them are just looking for date and nothing serious, so I dont bother replying to them.

Galvasean · 08-02-2011 11:11pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I
Holding guns or various weapons

Doh >_<
Damn movie obsession!

Wow, i always expected women to get more mail, but this is something of an eye opener! Won't feel bad if people dont reply - poor buggers are probably swamped!
Any guys out there get a tonne of mail?

08-02-2011 11:13pm

Galvasean wrote: »

Doh >_<
Damn movie obsession!

Wow, i always expected women to get more mail, but this is something of an eye opener! Won't feel bad if people dont reply - poor buggers are probably swamped!
Any guys out there get a tonne of mail?

I might get one message every week/2 weeks from a girl who is making first contact and these usually are just "hey how are you?" messages.

docdolittle · 08-02-2011 11:35pm

I joined up last week and I got 2 messages, one just saying hi, the other actually looked at my profile and wrote to me about stuff on it and what we had in common... I was pretty sick when I first read it... But I still haven't written back to her yet

Surprised I'm actually getting people writing to me/ looking at the profile, it's not even the most flattering pic of me

I even got this email off okcupid saying:

Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:
You will now see more attractive people in your match results.
This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.
. . .
Suddenly, the world is your oyster. Login now and reap the rewards. And, no, we didn't just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see..

WTF?

Galvasean · 09-02-2011 2:01am

I assumed that was an automated message you get when you submit yoyr photo for 'ranking'...

Conor_M1990 · 09-02-2011 3:03am

signed up to okcupid there for a quick gander doesnt look to be a great selection seems to be a good few nutcases on it

PeakOutput · 09-02-2011 3:31am

good to know my picture falls into the acceptable category

id say i get one or two messages a week from girls out of the blue but they usually turn out to be pretty boring pretty fast

my house mates dont get the same ones though so at least they arent copy and pasting everyone

id be tempted by match but i just cant bring myself to pay for it but i guess i might reconsider if enough people say its good

definitely feel sorry for girls getting bombarded by hundreds of emails but i guess it cums with the territory

Dravokivich · 09-02-2011 11:17am

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Its not a looks thing at all. Its purely a 5 second judgement thing on their photos.

Is 5 seconds really enough time? I'd be inclined to look over a profile for a few minutes, read it through a couple of times.

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Blurry photo, or photo with pint covering face, or in wetsuit and cannot see face or photo of his pet instead of him = self confidence issues

Or maybe he's got a crap camera / not good at take pictures of himself...

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Photo of him on night out looking completely sloshed with girls on either arms or general on night out photos = not into commitment and no wedding bells in the next 10 years

Or maybe he's showing pictures of being out having fun with friends. I generally don't take pictures of myself and the only pics I have of me, pretty much tend to be taken by others while I was out drinking with them.

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Smoking cigar = So full of himself, Anchorman levels

Anchorman is the last thing that'd be in my mind while I'm smoking cigars. A few classic characters I'd think of off hand would be Hanibal Smith, Columbo and Delboy if I was to set myself aside like that.

But sure, t'is your choice to think along them lines...

Count Duckula · 09-02-2011 11:24am

You don't have to use dating sites to do online dating! A friend of mine met a long-term girlfriend through MySpace about six years ago, and I met my current girlfriend through World of Warcraft!

Galvasean · 09-02-2011 12:32pm

Dravokivich wrote: »

Or maybe he's got a crap camera / not good at take pictures of himself...

This. I don't do the whole 'taking photos of myself from various angls in order to look as attractive as possible' thing. Plus I don't pose like a model when I'm out and about and someone is taking photos. Ironically all the better looking photos of me were total flukes (I usually try to photobomb when the cameras come out).

Dravokivich · 09-02-2011 1:45pm

sure when a camera comes my way its usually met with a cheeky grin and thumbs up... or some kinda lions roar pose while rocking out and oblivious to whats going on around me :-P

Count Duckula · 09-02-2011 1:48pm

But if you don't care about the photo / don't look good in them, and she does, don't get hung up on how unfair that is from her. It just shows the two of you probably wouldn't have matched right from the start - you're priorities and tastes are different.

An extra filter, so to speak.

Dravokivich · 09-02-2011 1:57pm

well i was more so suggesting a bad photo doesn't have to indicate a person with a lack of confidence.

startattheend · 09-02-2011 3:13pm

Just thought id throw my story in here, bit of a lurker but this thread kind of inspired me to give online thing a go. Joined plenty of fish yesterday and have a date this weekend with a girl who is 100% my type and very pretty and cool, so im delighted with that. Also emailing a couple of other very cool girls so will see if anything comes of that. But its a promising start, bit of a spring in my step today to be honest!

magneticimpulse · 09-02-2011 3:16pm

Dravokivich wrote: »

well i was more so suggesting a bad photo doesn't have to indicate a person with a lack of confidence.

Oh come on, alot of people are on Facebook or other social sites these days. Id say people must have "decent" profile photos on those sites. Even my parents and aunties and uncles are on Facebook and they managed to get decent profile photos when they barely know how to work a digital camera.

If he doesnt look good in his "best" 1 - 4 photos he has on his dating profile, then he aint going to "look good" on my facebook photos!!! Ultimately people will see my "new" boyfriend on facebook...if he cant even bother to have a decent photo on his profile....then he hasnt put enough effort in, and really is he going to put effort into the relationship???

I look at online dating like a job interview. The photos is like putting together a portfolio of the person. Putting their best foot forward. If the guy in the photos looks like a messer and out drinking, smoking cigars, having fun with ladies wrapped around his arms...he not the type I am looking for. Personal photos taken by themself in the mirror is also a no no.

If he looks more like Daniel O Donnell (obviously an attractive version guy)...that you could take home to your mammy then id go for him.

Online dating is all about making good 1st impressions. From the amount of emails I get, I can afford to be picky. And im giving my advice. If you want to go against the grain and be wacky in your photos thats fine. But dont complain when you dont have any success at online dating.

Online Dating

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