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Online Dating
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04-08-2010 4:12pm#1
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I dont like online dateing i did think it was good. But **** that, Id rather meet some one on a night out and get drunk with her and see what she like in person I think on online dateing to a degree people are looking for there perfect match and every bodys far to picy. My self included....
I think online dateing is a defeatous way of dating it does work for some... but theres single women every-where...
Ned totally get the cropped photo thing
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HavingCrack wrote: »POF seems to have an awful lot of women of 'ah jaysus howiya, just bumming around doing nothing at the minute, love getting trashed at the weekend ' type so I was never a big fan of it.
Lol, yup. There are some diamonds to be found also though
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Ive been on and off some sites over the last couple years. ie plentyoffish and anotherfriend.
Anotherfriend was the most succesfull one for me - if you count 2 dates in 9 months succesfull lol.
POF - cant even get them to look at me never mind a date.
I do read profiles and email them about specific things they mention like hobbies etc but still a response is rare. I have a photo up too - maybe thats turning them off
I also find Anotherfriend to have an average age of women in late 30s which makes it harder (late 20s myself).
Im gonna cancel the subscription when it runs out now this month.
Im not great at chatting up in pubs when Im out either but Im fed up with the online melarky.
So, if youre new to online dating, keep your expectations LOW.0 -
forest gunner wrote: »Ive been on and off some sites over the last couple years. ie plentyoffish and anotherfriend.
Anotherfriend was the most succesfull one for me - if you count 2 dates in 9 months succesfull lol.
POF - cant even get them to look at me never mind a date.
I do read profiles and email them about specific things they mention like hobbies etc but still a response is rare. I have a photo up too - maybe thats turning them off
I also find Anotherfriend to have an average age of women in late 30s which makes it harder (late 20s myself).
Im gonna cancel the subscription when it runs out now this month.
Im not great at chatting up in pubs when Im out either but Im fed up with the online melarky.
So, if youre new to online dating, keep your expectations LOW.
I'll be honest. I NEVER put a picture up on these sites and I'll tell you why.
I like people to like me for who I am, NOT what I look like - and I'm not bad looking it's just the way I wanted it to be.
I let my profile do the talking and I can virtually guarentee that I had more messages than really good looking guys with run of the mill profile wording.
Take your picture down and just write a description that stands out and you get real quality girls, the ones that arent shallow enough to think that looks are an overwhelming percentage of attraction, sending you messages - it works.0 -
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OK, so would you or any of the other guys send a message to a woman with a good profile but no photo?
Absolutely.
I look at these types of interactions as improving my personal life and social circle, nothing more.
I don't have a "let's fall in love with girl a, Im significantly attracted to girl b, boy what i'd love to do to girl c" attitude.
I look at it from this point of view: If I meet someone whether it be online or out at a bar, this is a possible friend to me.
A nice, down to earth, reliable, intelligent person is someone who can add a significant amount of value to MY life.
I take romance completely out the equation and just judge people at face value.(This mindset is also a great way to avoid getting nervous when approaching girls on a night out)
If the interaction then escalates to the extent where there might be a spark there then awesome - we will see what happens.
If not, then at least I'm surrounding myself with awesome new friends.
It's a total win-win situation for me.
There's so many different things I judge people on outwith looks, a check list if you will.
For me, it goes a little something like this(and in this order).
- Selfless
- Intelligent
- Focused
- Funny
- Fulfilled
- Ambitious
- Physically Attractive
Now I'm not saying that I wont be interested in someone that only has 3 of these qualities - they all link in well anyway - I'm just saying that that's my ideal woman.
If you ask someone randomly what their ideal woman looks like they might say "Long legs, blonde hair, blue eyes, big . . ." you get the idea.
Well that checklist is what my ideal woman looks like and I genuinely mean it when I say in that order. I would urge all guys to find out what their ideal woman looks like and have their own little trigger list.
Specifically relating to the online dating subject: If someone has an outstandingly well written profile and projects qualities that you find attractive then why should no picture dictate whether you should message her or not?
She could be an absolute one in a million that has a serious dislike for people who judge others only on looks - if you don't get in touch . . you'll never know.
That's my 2 cents anyways.
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Now this isnt a pop against larger women,lord knows I aint trim myself however what is the point in putting up a photo that shows only your head.Its deceptive.I went on a date on the back of POF a couple of years ago and like that,all I had seen was a head shot.Met the girl and she was very overweight,Im talking morbidly obese.It was awkward to say the least and I felt like crap afterwards because it was blatantly obvious that I wasnt interested but I didnt want to do a runner after 5 minutes so sat for an hour talking absolute rubbish.Online dating is a freakin minefield.0 -
I've really gone off online dating because of how difficult it is to actually gauge what a person is like from it. I mailed one guy for ages, and eventually I got bored of emailing and suggested we meet. Slight alarm bells were ringing because I had to suggest it in the first place. His picture was vague, but I thought I could make out what he looked like. We met, and although he was the same age as me, in real life he looked like a 12 year old boy. He was shorter and way skinnier than me, with a face that hadn't hit puberty yet. His picture was in no way representative of what he looked like in reality.
I've had 4 dates, and the only vaguely successful one was where we emailed maybe 3 times before he asked me out. We got on fantastically, but unfortunately there was no spark. With the others, we emailed for weeks, and it was a let-down when we met. I'm going to cancel my profiles very soon, but if I ever sign up again, I'm sticking to the rule of 3 emails and then a date.
I actually had the most infuriating exchange with one guy. He seemed really nice, I was quite interested in him, and was suitably flirty in messages. Then I got one that said "Pity you're out of my league or I'd have asked you out". I replied and told him not to be stupid, there's no such things as leagues. He replied with "Haha, maybe. So how was your weekend?" :mad:. I wrote back and said "Are you going to ask me out?" and I got back "If I asked you out, would you say yes?". At that stage I lost patience altogether and wrote back saying that his clear lack of confidence had really put me off, that if he's just asked me out originally I'd have said yes, but his dancing around the issue had made me think there was something going on. Harsh, maybe, but I was beyond caring at that stage. Bloody timewaster.
So guys, top tip: Don't drag emails out over weeks or months. Everyone on a dating site is there to meet someone. If you like someone, ask them out within a week and don't arse around wasting time like so many guys do.0 -
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I actually had the most infuriating exchange with one guy. He seemed really nice, I was quite interested in him, and was suitably flirty in messages. Then I got one that said "Pity you're out of my league or I'd have asked you out". I replied and told him not to be stupid, there's no such things as leagues. He replied with "Haha, maybe. So how was your weekend?" :mad:. I wrote back and said "Are you going to ask me out?" and I got back "If I asked you out, would you say yes?". At that stage I lost patience altogether and wrote back saying that his clear lack of confidence had really put me off, that if he's just asked me out originally I'd have said yes, but his dancing around the issue had made me think there was something going on. Harsh, maybe, but I was beyond caring at that stage. Bloody timewaster.
:eek: Not only have you come into a gentle mans forum but you've also made your slef look and sound like a complete witch of a woman. There is no need for talking to any one like that..:rolleyes: Its a dating site. yet you feel the need to share how you attmpted to make a bloke look bad over your own faustrations, serously get over your self...
quit with the dateing site and go have some fun!So guys, top tip: Don't drag emails out over weeks or months. Everyone on a dating site is there to meet someone. If you like someone, ask them out within a week and don't arse around wasting time like so many guys do.
Yep funny when ever ive gone out with a girl whos asked me out with in a week for a drink have always been crazy on the text pretty demanding, plain anoying. I wouldnt follow your advice at all... Id do anything but.0 -
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Snow-Monkey wrote: »:eek: Not only have you come into a gentle mans forum but you've also made your slef look and sound like a complete witch of a woman. There is no need for talking to any one like that..:rolleyes: Its a dating site. yet you feel the need to share how you attmpted to make a bloke look bad over your own faustrations, serously get over your self...
quit with the dateing site and go have some fun!
I never attempted to make him look bad and I resent that accusation. We emailed for weeks, I made it very clear that I was interested, and was keen to meet in person. He wasted my time by twice putting the offer of a date on the table, and then taking it away when I responded positively. That meant one of two things: A) he was a massive time waster, or
he had very serious self-esteem issues. I paraphrased my reply to him in the above post; it wasn't actually that blunt but I couldn't be arsed typing it out last night. I told him that I was quite keen to meet him, that he seemed really nice, and I'd made it more than clear that I was interested in a date, but that his refusing to actually ask me out, even when it was 100% clear I'd say yes, had really put me off. If he was a time waster, then I saved myself some effort. If he had serious self esteem issues, then that's something he needs to sort out himself. He admitted in his reply that he had known I'd say yes to a date and yet he still didn't ask me out. The only frustration I had was from being messed around.Yep funny when ever ive gone out with a girl whos asked me out with in a week for a drink have always been crazy on the text pretty demanding, plain anoying. I wouldnt follow your advice at all... Id do anything but.
Then I guess it's a good thing that we're not chatting to each other on a dating site. I will not apologise for wanting a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Experience has taught me that someone who takes weeks to ask me out is usually taking that long for a reason. Self confidence is generally a good sign of maturity, and that's important to me.0 -
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Why didn't you ask him out, instead of waiting for him to ask you out?I never attempted to make him look bad and I resent that accusation. We emailed for weeks, I made it very clear that I was interested, and was keen to meet in person. He wasted my time by twice putting the offer of a date on the table, and then taking it away when I responded positively. That meant one of two things: A) he was a massive time waster, or he had very serious self-esteem issues. I paraphrased my reply to him in the above post; it wasn't actually that blunt but I couldn't be arsed typing it out last night. I told him that I was quite keen to meet him, that he seemed really nice, and I'd made it more than clear that I was interested in a date, but that his refusing to actually ask me out, even when it was 100% clear I'd say yes, had really put me off. If he was a time waster, then I saved myself some effort. If he had serious self esteem issues, then that's something he needs to sort out himself. He admitted in his reply that he had known I'd say yes to a date and yet he still didn't ask me out. The only frustration I had was from being messed around.
Then I guess it's a good thing that we're not chatting to each other on a dating site. I will not apologise for wanting a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Experience has taught me that someone who takes weeks to ask me out is usually taking that long for a reason. Self confidence is generally a good sign of maturity, and that's important to me.
I don't get that, why hold someone to different standards than you hold for yourself?0 -
I never attempted to make him look bad and I resent that accusation. We emailed for weeks, I made it very clear that I was interested, and was keen to meet in person. He wasted my time by twice putting the offer of a date on the table, and then taking it away when I responded positively. That meant one of two things: A) he was a massive time waster, or he had very serious self-esteem issues. I paraphrased my reply to him in the above post; it wasn't actually that blunt but I couldn't be arsed typing it out last night. I told him that I was quite keen to meet him, that he seemed really nice, and I'd made it more than clear that I was interested in a date, but that his refusing to actually ask me out, even when it was 100% clear I'd say yes, had really put me off. If he was a time waster, then I saved myself some effort. If he had serious self esteem issues, then that's something he needs to sort out himself. He admitted in his reply that he had known I'd say yes to a date and yet he still didn't ask me out. The only frustration I had was from being messed around.
You resent something that in this case and in my eyes is true.
To recap, You've drawn conclusions of some one you've never meet and made judgments which is completely inappropriate.
You can't say some ones not confident because he hasn't asked you out, he may well of not liked the forwardness of your nature he may well have decided that you wern't what he was looking for...
How In gods name can you be messed around on a dating site?90% of the people on it are circus clowns you gotta expect that. The fact that your moaning about it says more then anything else that you are indeed far too serous about it... Online dating is nothing more then a laugh and a bit of banter drawing strong winded conclusions, with no real credible information is not, except able.
To me, it all seems hurried, now now now quick hurry up get the date go for drinks. Self confidence is to do with maturity but its also something that doesnt need to be there 24 hours a day things like play fullness keep you looking young things like immaturity are as important maturity, it brings funThen I guess it's a good thing that we're not chatting to each other on a dating site. I will not apologise for wanting a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Experience has taught me that someone who takes weeks to ask me out is usually taking that long for a reason. Self confidence is generally a good sign of maturity, and that's important to me.
stops things from being manogamous...0 -
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Snow-Monkey wrote: »You resent something that in this case and in my eyes is true.
To recap, You've drawn conclusions of some one you've never meet and made judgments which is completely inappropriate.
You can't say some ones not confident because he hasn't asked you out, he may well of not liked the forwardness of your nature he may well have decided that you wern't what he was looking for...
How In gods name can you be messed around on a dating site?90% of the people on it are circus clowns you gotta expect that. The fact that your moaning about it says more then anything else that you are indeed far too serous about it... Online dating is nothing more then a laugh and a bit of banter drawing strong winded conclusions, with no real credible information is not, except able.
To me, it all seems hurried, now now now quick hurry up get the date go for drinks. Self confidence is to do with maturity but its also something that doesnt need to be there 24 hours a day things like play fullness keep you looking young things like immaturity are as important maturity, it brings fun
stops things from being manogamous...
I think you are being pretty unfair on Faith, she does not owe any of these people anything so she is completely well within her right to be turned off by what she views as lack of confidence in someone's emails, especially the "if i asked you out would you say yes?" that to me comes across as not confident in the slightest.
You always have to make judgements based on the limited information you have when you barely know someone, maybe the guy was put off by her forwardness but that basically means they are not compatible together so why waste any more time when the entire point is that there are plenty of other users of the sites out there to try and get along with.0 -
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I agree with her. The bloke sounds like a clown."Pity you're out of my league or I'd have asked you out". I replied and told him not to be stupid, there's no such things as leagues. He replied with "Haha, maybe. So how was your weekend?" :mad:. I wrote back and said "Are you going to ask me out?" and I got back "If I asked you out, would you say yes?"
What kind of person doesnt get that?? And on a DATING website? 0 -
I've never done a dating website Im only 22 and been single for about a month now, but give me 6 months and I could have a differnt reply on this thread
ha
I dont see the harm in them as long as people dont take it too seriously or act over eager.
And that doesnt mean I think people should should play it cool and make out its not a big deal if you end up going out, thats not nice. Just the overly eager and too serious can be quite off putting, but that goes the same for face to face meetings not just the internet.0 -
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