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how long did it take you to get over ex
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Madness.
Not too many I hope. I kinda like being in the one spot.
I know what you mean. Its one thing to hear that someone likes you or to be chatted up on a night out but to go through the revolving door is quite another. Not something I'd be overly keen on either.
However, as I keep telling myself, I have lots to offer anyone who is right for me, am fun, attractive, intelligent, no nuttier than your average person, strong, supportive and up for anything and there will be someone out there.
Bonito you, like the rest of us here, just have to give yourself time to heal and recover (easier said that done I know given that I've just had a crappy crappy month) and you'll come out the other side stronger and better for it. 0 -
Oh, no I'm good.Penny Dreadful wrote: »I know what you mean. Its one thing to hear that someone likes you or to be chatted up on a night out but to go through the revolving door is quite another. Not something I'd be overly keen on either.
However, as I keep telling myself, I have lots to offer anyone who is right for me, am fun, attractive, intelligent, no nuttier than your average person, strong, supportive and up for anything and there will be someone out there.
Bonito you, like the rest of us here, just have to give yourself time to heal and recover (easier said that done I know given that I've just had a crappy crappy month) and you'll come out the other side stronger and better for it. Her stupid decisions don't affect me and she has no hold over me anymore. What I can't understand is why is she rushing? I mean, if they're so perfect and ftted, why rush? Is she just desperate to be shacked up? Doing it to spite me? A mix of both? All she's doing is fecking herself around. 
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Oh, no I'm good. Her stupid decisions don't affect me and she has no hold over me anymore. What I can't understand is why is she rushing? I mean, if they're so perfect and ftted, why rush? Is she just desperate to be shacked up? Doing it to spite me? A mix of both? All she's doing is fecking herself around.
Some people just want to be married and set a whole lot of store by that. In fact so much store sometimes, that they don't stop to think about what being married to someone actually is about. This can also be all the more true if her friends are/ or are getting married.
She may also be doing it to spite you especially if this was part of the reason why you guys broke up. If she is then that makes it even more silly.0 -
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Nope. TBH the majority of her friends are hussies who sleep around and have strings of BF's.Penny Dreadful wrote: »Some people just want to be married and set a whole lot of store by that. In fact so much store sometimes, that they don't stop to think about what being married to someone actually is about. This can also be all the more true if her friends are/ or are getting married.
She may also be doing it to spite you especially if this was part of the reason why you guys broke up. If she is then that makes it even more silly.
Doesn't reflect her at all. If his relationship with his ex was anything like mine and hers then there is no hope in hell he was ready for her after we broke up. I guess that would reflect on her too. I just fail to understand some people. 0 -
take it from a lad who has literally just put his hand into the fire-no matter how ready you feel you are to talk to the love of your life who is also your ex, chances are you arent.
basically i asked was there any chance of anything happening down the line and she said she didnt see it happening, although she still thinks she loves me, beacuse of my own issues and of the difficult break up we have gone through she didnt see a future.
i told her i didnt really understand, and said that the chances of two people finding/connecting/loving one another the way we did are so far and few that when it does finally happen, you should grab onto it with both hands and hold on as tightly as you can.
she replyed with "as i said, take care"
burnt..
Ouch.
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Penny Dreadful wrote: »Ouch.
i know..no matter how much you tell yourself it will be alright, you will get through all this sh!t and move on and eventually find someone else ten times better and who treats you ten times better, the fact of the matter is simple: sometimes when its very dark, its very hard to see whats on the road ahead.
i really bloody loved her and i thought she really bloody loved me.
more fool me eh.0 -
Nope. TBH the majority of her friends are hussies who sleep around and have strings of BF's. Doesn't reflect her at all. If his relationship with his ex was anything like mine and hers then there is no hope in hell he was ready for her after we broke up. I guess that would reflect on her too. I just fail to understand some people. [/QUOTE
It sounds like neither of them wants to be alone at least when you do meet someone else you will know it's the real deal and you're together for the right reasons. Best of luck to them but the odds are stacked against them imho0 -
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i know..no matter how much you tell yourself it will be alright, you will get through all this sh!t and move on and eventually find someone else ten times better and who treats you ten times better, the fact of the matter is simple: sometimes when its very dark, its very hard to see whats on the road ahead.
i really bloody loved her and i thought she really bloody loved me.
more fool me eh.
Hey, you and me both. My ex always told me how much he loved me, how I was the best thing that ever had, ever would happen to him, I was the most beautiful, sexy, etc etc girl ever. He could never see himself with anyone else, I was the love of his life and he wanted to spend the rest of his live with me BUT he would never ever consider marrying me or having children with me, or moving house (we were living in a house I had bought and lived in for 3 years before he moved in).
So essentially if I was willing to stay with things the same way they had been since I was 25/26 then that would be great but if I ever wanted things to change even a tiny bit then he wouldn't be on for that.
What he was saying was that he loved me in a very small way and either I was with that or I wasn't. This all came out after 2 years of " we will we won't get married, we will we won't move" basically we will we won't grow in our relationship.
I look to my older sister for inspiration that things will get better. Long story very short, she had been living abroad, met this guy, they were engaged, she came home, he fell off the face of the earth. Turns out he had been engaged to someone else all along and was using her. She was devestated and all faith in herself and others was destroyed. A year or two later she met this other guy who was so besotted with her that he couldn't believe his luck when she said yes to going on a date with him.
They celebrate their 10 year wedding anniversary this June and have 3 amazing kids. To this day, he still worships the ground she walks on. Yes they bug each other, and fight with each other as all people do, but he still can't believe his luck that she even went on a date with him never mind married him.
Someone who thinks that much of me..........well thats what I'm after when I'm ready. You'll get it too. 0 -
The chatting really does set you back but its still nice and you get so used to talking to them and its head to break a habit of x years!!! It will get easier!
The chatting definitely can set you back as it brings back memories of happy relaxed times with your ex.
I think I am over my ex but I still think it was a sad way for a relationship to end but crap happens. That really is life.
After the amazing weekend I had it would wake anyone up and make them realise how much more happiness is out there! Be that with new relationships or new friends or old mates!
I've done my time and I'm not going to let the past cling onto me anymore.
*Feics all the Past off a big cliff* 0 -
Nope. TBH the majority of her friends are hussies who sleep around and have strings of BF's. Doesn't reflect her at all. If his relationship with his ex was anything like mine and hers then there is no hope in hell he was ready for her after we broke up. I guess that would reflect on her too. I just fail to understand some people. [/QUOTE
It sounds like neither of them wants to be alone at least when you do meet someone else you will know it's the real deal and you're together for the right reasons. Best of luck to them but the odds are stacked against them imho
Yet stacked heavily in favour of syphilis:D0 -
Then you see them reciting all this bull to their new partner and shake your head thinking "That's what I was told."Penny Dreadful wrote: »Hey, you and me both. My ex always told me how much he loved me, how I was the best thing that ever had, ever would happen to him, I was the most beautiful, sexy, etc etc girl ever. He could never see himself with anyone else, I was the love of his life and he wanted to spend the rest of his live with me
Ouch the poor girl.Long story very short, she had been living abroad, met this guy, they were engaged, she came home, he fell off the face of the earth. Turns out he had been engaged to someone else all along and was using her. She was devestated and all faith in herself and others was destroyed. A year or two later she met this other guy who was so besotted with her that he couldn't believe his luck when she said yes to going on a date with him. I hope this has a happy ending?
Ah, here it is.They celebrate their 10 year wedding anniversary this June and have 3 amazing kids. To this day, he still worships the ground she walks on. Yes they bug each other, and fight with each other as all people do, but he still can't believe his luck that she even went on a date with him never mind married him.
Someone who thinks that much of me..........well thats what I'm after when I'm ready. You'll get it too. 0 -
Well, she didn't get it from me.Penny Dreadful wrote:
Yet stacked heavily in favour of syphilis:D 0 -
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Then you see them reciting all this bull to their new partner and shake your head thinking "That's what I was told." Ouch the poor girl. I hope this has a happy ending?
Ah, here it is.
and although she is my sister and absolutely fantastic (as my entire family have been all through this break up. I really lucked out with them and they're great) she is as ordinary a person as you or me. If she can get the happy ending then there is nothing stopping either of us having one too. .....granted her kids do wake up a little earlier than she'd like but you can't have it every which way and they make up for it by being super cute and funny.0 -
Not thinking about kids just yet TBH.Penny Dreadful wrote: »and although she is my sister and absolutely fantastic (as my entire family have been all through this break up. I really lucked out with them and they're great) she is as ordinary a person as you or me. If she can get the happy ending then there is nothing stopping either of us having one too. .....granted her kids do wake up a little earlier than she'd like but you can't have it every which way and they make up for it by being super cute and funny. 0 -
take it from a lad who has literally just put his hand into the fire-no matter how ready you feel you are to talk to the love of your life who is also your ex, chances are you arent.
basically i asked was there any chance of anything happening down the line and she said she didnt see it happening, although she still thinks she loves me, beacuse of my own issues and of the difficult break up we have gone through she didnt see a future.
i told her i didnt really understand, and said that the chances of two people finding/connecting/loving one another the way we did are so far and few that when it does finally happen, you should grab onto it with both hands and hold on as tightly as you can.
she replyed with "as i said, take care"
burnt..
Ouch. That's harsh. I saw my ex on Friday night to get stuff back from him (he finished with me, I was devastated, still am). I was as friendly as I could be, because I felt that, by being cold, I'd only confirm that he didn't want to be with me. I asked him had he changed his mind, and he said no, not at that point. But he also said "You never know, I might come grovelling back some day...", to which I replied "I won't be around forever". I know we had our problems, and things were rubbish at the end, but I also know we loved each other a huge amount, and our problems could have been worked out. But he preferred to run away than face up to them.i know..no matter how much you tell yourself it will be alright, you will get through all this sh!t and move on and eventually find someone else ten times better and who treats you ten times better, the fact of the matter is simple: sometimes when its very dark, its very hard to see whats on the road ahead.
i really bloody loved her and i thought she really bloody loved me.
more fool me eh.
That's exactly where I'm at at the moment. I know life goes on, I know I'm young and will meet someone better, but right now that's absolutely no fúcking comfort at all.
/edit: God I really hope he doesn't stalk my posts!
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Not thinking about kids just yet TBH.
No, me neither.
However, when things were leading to my break up I wans't prepared to say, "ok I'll agree to never ever want kids just to stay with you".
I adore my nieces and nephews and they are such fun but they are great to give back to their mum and dad too and seeing the hard work that goes with the good stuff and how tired my sister can be, really makes me certain that starting a family is something I'd have to be 100% certain I wanted and with someone who was equally certain.
Can you imagine if I'd been so desperate to have my ex in my life that I agreed to no kids and accidently fell pregnant at some stage:eek: The worry and fear would have been awful.0 -
Well that's the compromise I guess. Change yourself and your wants to suit your partner or, change your partner to be more in tune with your wants and aspects in life. I certainly prefer the latter.Penny Dreadful wrote: »No, me neither.
However, when things were leading to my break up I wans't prepared to say, "ok I'll agree to never ever want kids just to stay with you".
I adore my nieces and nephews and they are such fun but they are great to give back to their mum and dad too and seeing the hard work that goes with the good stuff and how tired my sister can be, really makes me certain that starting a family is something I'd have to be 100% certain I wanted and with someone who was equally certain.
Can you imagine if I'd been so desperate to have my ex in my life that I agreed to no kids and accidently fell pregnant at some stage:eek: The worry and fear would have been awful. 0 -
Penny Dreadful wrote: »Hey, you and me both. My ex always told me how much he loved me, how I was the best thing that ever had, ever would happen to him, I was the most beautiful, sexy, etc etc girl ever. He could never see himself with anyone else, I was the love of his life and he wanted to spend the rest of his live with me BUT he would never ever consider marrying me or having children with me, or moving house (we were living in a house I had bought and lived in for 3 years before he moved in).
So essentially if I was willing to stay with things the same way they had been since I was 25/26 then that would be great but if I ever wanted things to change even a tiny bit then he wouldn't be on for that.
What he was saying was that he loved me in a very small way and either I was with that or I wasn't. This all came out after 2 years of " we will we won't get married, we will we won't move" basically we will we won't grow in our relationship.
I look to my older sister for inspiration that things will get better. Long story very short, she had been living abroad, met this guy, they were engaged, she came home, he fell off the face of the earth. Turns out he had been engaged to someone else all along and was using her. She was devestated and all faith in herself and others was destroyed. A year or two later she met this other guy who was so besotted with her that he couldn't believe his luck when she said yes to going on a date with him.
They celebrate their 10 year wedding anniversary this June and have 3 amazing kids. To this day, he still worships the ground she walks on. Yes they bug each other, and fight with each other as all people do, but he still can't believe his luck that she even went on a date with him never mind married him.
Someone who thinks that much of me..........well thats what I'm after when I'm ready. You'll get it too.
good god, sounds like you had a lucky escape with your ex then, progressoin is what its all about i would have imagined, maybe not in leaps and bounds but when hes living with you already surely he must have at the very least thought about settling down and starting a family. thats an aweful thing to happen to your sister, i cant believe there are some people out there that would do that to someone. again, lucky for her the real love of her life found his way into her life.
me and my lady were together for 2.5 years, firstly 9months, then she went off to go travelling for 15 months, we stayed together, constant contact every day, i went out and visited her twice, she came home, broke it off with me, then came back to me, things were going along nicely until i hear that some bloke had been after her while she was abroad, kissed her, and she kept up contact even when she was home with me! i understand why she didnt tell me about the kiss, but at the same time my trust levels was shot, i tried sticking it out by it was always at the back of my mind. so i said my goodbyes,not only to my girl but to someone i thought of as my best friend too. gone were those thought i had of one day settling down with this person, sharing our lives and our childrens lives, all those tohughts, gone. it broke my heart doing so too, but i just felt so hurt/lost/betrayed. i know a kiss on hol sounds so trivial, but there arent too many lads that can hand on heart say they waited 15 months faithfully for a girl, i can. i did think i was getting the same respect back. the fact that she knew yer man was after her and she still kept up contact-wheres the respect towards me i ask?!
im sure down the line i will get over it all, but for now, 5 months down the track, ive asked her back countless number of times, got the no answer.these be dark days to have to go through, if my missus "right" were to walse into my life, id probably not even see her! its such a sickener, having to go to sleep each night, thinking of every ifs and buts you can imagine, dreaming of them, waking up, thinking of them again. its a bloody difficult to get out of, but i guess if times the healer, we just got to stick it out and hope for the best..
i need a hug0 -
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