Your finest retort

we'llallhavetea_old

Midnight_EG wrote: »

But would you like it?

Do you think verbal abuse requires physical retaliation?

you're not supposed to like it!

by the sounds of the story the lad was bullyin him for awhile, and this was his first time retaliating.

Bonito

If he was doing it for a while thinking he was a big man he probably deserved it. It's disgusting but it probably made him feel this small and put him in his place whipin a big hocker off his smug little face.

Darksaga87

Midnight_EG wrote: »

But would you like it?

Do you think verbal abuse requires physical retaliation?

Who would like it?? Your not ment to enjoy, if your a scumbag insulting a quite chap on the bus, and he finally gets up the courage to spit the ****'s face, fair play to him.

Ive seen quite kids get picked on, and ya just feel like shouting at them,
"will ya stand up to him and beat the ****e out of the little BLX!"

strobe

Agonist wrote: »

Not a comeback exactly but... I bumped into Gerry Adams and his entourage one day when he was out canvassing. As he shook my hand I glanced down and said "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Reminds me of the time during the good friday negotiations (i think). Brian Cowen, who was Minister for Foreign Affairs at the time, was at the end of his patience with all the fukking about so when Martin McGuiness replied to something with "I'll have to consult the army council on this", Cowen shot back with "Yeah, well theres a mirror in the toilet if you want to go in there and talk to them".

OutlawPete

How about Gerry Adam's..

"They've not gone away you know".

partyatmygaff

Bonito wrote: »

Mine was when I was in secondary school in Biology. One of the "popular" ppl decided to make nasty references to my gorgeous highlighted blonde locks (naturally highlighted from the sun while I was in Spain) he was jealous because mine looked more awesome than his :cool:

I got fed, I booted my stool down the classroom, walked up to his desk and slammed my hands down (in full view of the class) and said "Yano somethin, I can't stand you, half the people in here laugh at your stupidity and not because you're funny, they're laughing AT you and not WITH you. Wanna know what you are? You know when you've gone out for dinner and had a nice juicy steak or that delicious chicken and ham? Yeh? Well, you're that annoying bastard of a piece of meat that gets stuck between your teeth and does your head in for the rest of the fúcking day trying to get it out when you haven't got a toothpick! Now, you keep pissing me off and I swear I'll get a toothpick, so stop annoying me! Are we clear?"

I then picked my stool up and sat down in awe of the teacher and a completely silent open-mouthed classroom, I was last leaving the class and she simply winked and smiled and said "don't let rubbish like that get to you"

Your turn peeps

*Cringe*

Charlie.

Midnight_EG wrote: »

But would you like it?

Do you think verbal abuse requires physical retaliation?

He wasn't supposed to like it!
Of course I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't like my life being made hell for months either, that little sh1t deserved everything he got! He had bullied Ian since the start of the year..name calling...pushing..hiding his schoolbag...it was going on for months.

The way I see it, if ya can give it ya gotta be prepared to take it! What should he have done, he had turned the other cheek for long enough!

Was really weird though, I thought things would have got way worse when we came back after the holidays but because Ian was the last person you would expect to stand up to the group, he earned a lot of respect that day...from that group aswell it seems, they didn't hassle him after it!

Doop

Go Back to Bally-Mc-Cabbage, you MOONPIG

(stolen from Ross O Carroll Kelly Book)

kumate_champ07

Bonito wrote: »

Ok everyone hit me with it. I want a full blown story with these ones and I don't care how late it is. Commit to the thread. I want to know what was the best back answer you had to someone. Whether it was someone trying to start a fight or whatever and you shut them up with something extremely epic! I'm talking about the kinda sentence that makes you turn around, hold up your chin, strut it away while walking and then not being able to help smile and say to yourself "Yehhhhh motherf****Er"

Mine was when I was in secondary school in Biology. One of the "popular" ppl decided to make nasty references to my gorgeous highlighted blonde locks (naturally highlighted from the sun while I was in Spain) he was jealous because mine looked more awesome than his :cool:

I got fed, I booted my stool down the classroom, walked up to his desk and slammed my hands down (in full view of the class) and said "Yano somethin, I can't stand you, half the people in here laugh at your stupidity and not because you're funny, they're laughing AT you and not WITH you. Wanna know what you are? You know when you've gone out for dinner and had a nice juicy steak or that delicious chicken and ham? Yeh? Well, you're that annoying bastard of a piece of meat that gets stuck between your teeth and does your head in for the rest of the fúcking day trying to get it out when you haven't got a toothpick! Now, you keep pissing me off and I swear I'll get a toothpick, so stop annoying me! Are we clear?"

I then picked my stool up and sat down in awe of the teacher and a completely silent open-mouthed classroom, I was last leaving the class and she simply winked and smiled and said "don't let rubbish like that get to you"

Your turn peeps

:eek: I hope you washed your hands!

Bonito

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

:eek: I hope you washed your hands!

Of course I did

Darksaga87

Poor OP is gettin an awfull beasting!!

Bonito

Darksaga87 wrote: »

Poor OP is gettin an awfull beasting!!

It's fine Some people think their solemnly bitter words actually affect people over the internet, very petty IMO. :rolleyes:

Seloth

In 1st year a fella started mocking me as my dad's a farmer.Well just to say his dad is in the navy.

Not quite sure what he said but something along these lines
Assface:AH YOUR DAD SMELLS LIKE **** MILKING THE COWS
Me:Atleast he's not in a boat full of seamen

I think it led to a fight...The Viceprincipal heard about this a year later and went ape **** on him as his dads a farmer:D.

Another time in my cousins holiday carvan place we were having a game of rugby (Was 15-16 at the time)and these kids,9-10 join in.Anyway the end up saying I'm gay and I'll get aids and stuff but I ignore it as its harmless.

Later on anyway were walking past them,and I get the image of Randle form Clerks in myhead.A chubby fella comes over and says" Ha your gay!" "Atlest I'm not fat tubby ".He shut up and just gave me a sad look,three of my cousins burt out laughing in shock saying"Mike wtf" "What he called me gay":P

kmart6

Bonito wrote: »

It's fine Some people think their solemnly bitter words actually affect people over the internet, very petty IMO. :rolleyes:

Must be bothering you if you feel you have to post something like that!!!

Bonito

Seloth wrote: »

In 1st year a fella started mocking me as my dad's a farm.Well just to say his dad is in the navy.

Not quite sure what he said but something along these lines
Assface:AH YOUR DAD SMELLS LIKE **** MILKING THE COWS
Me:Atleast he's not in a boat full of seamen

I think it led to a fight...The Viceprincipal heard about this a year later and went ape **** on him as his dads a farmer:D.

Another time in my cousins holiday carvan place we were having a game of rugby (Was 15-16 at the time)and these kids,9-10 join in.Anyway the end up saying I'm gay and I'll get aids and stuff but I ignore it as its harmless.

Later on anyway were walking past them,and I get the image of Randle form Clerks in myhead.A chubby fella comes over and says" Ha your gay!" "Atlest I'm not fat tubby ".He shut up and just gave me a sad look,three of my cousins burt out laughing in shock saying"Mike wtf" "What he called me gay":P

Crap actually I have another one. Some dick was slaggin' off one of my best friends calling him gay (he's far from it) He then said "Jaysus the smell of Fr. ***** cum off your breath"

My friend told me to leave it and I turned round and asked "How would you know what Fr.***** cum smells like?"

Even his friends burst their ****e laughin' at him All he could do was drop his head and walk off.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Seloth wrote: »

In 1st year a fella started mocking me as my dad's a farm.

He probably wouldn't appreciate you making fat jokes then.

Bonito

kmart6 wrote: »

Must be bothering you if you feel you have to post something like that!!!

Why do you feel the need to post something stupid like that? Jog on and troll/find an argument elsewhere!

4zn76tysfajdxp

Bonito wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to post something stupid like that? Jog on and troll/find an argument elsewhere!

Does he remind you of another delicious meal?

Doc

Careful he’s got a tooth pick!!

Bonito

Doc wrote: »

Careful he’s got a tooth pick!!

You'd better believe it

Then again wouldn't want to waste it :rolleyes:

kmart6

Doc wrote: »

Careful he’s got a tooth pick!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

*runs away*

TheZohanS

In the wrong hands toothpicks can be lethal

I thought the OP made a decent enough retort, nothing like standing up to a bully

sesna

Given the OP would have naturally given his souped-up heroic version of what happened, I shudder to think what really went down that fateful day

jd007

Bonito wrote: »

Crap actually I have another one. Some dick was slaggin' off one of my best friends calling him gay (he's far from it) He then said "Jaysus the smell of Fr. ***** cum off your breath"

My friend told me to leave it and I turned round and asked "How would you know what Fr.***** cum smells like?"

Even his friends burst their ****e laughin' at him All he could do was drop his head and walk off.

Well it's definetly an improvment from the first one.:P

Soulja boy

Bonito wrote: »

Ok everyone hit me with it. I want a full blown story with these ones and I don't care how late it is. Commit to the thread. I want to know what was the best back answer you had to someone. Whether it was someone trying to start a fight or whatever and you shut them up with something extremely epic! I'm talking about the kinda sentence that makes you turn around, hold up your chin, strut it away while walking and then not being able to help smile and say to yourself "Yehhhhh motherf****Er"

Mine was when I was in secondary school in Biology. One of the "popular" ppl decided to make nasty references to my gorgeous highlighted blonde locks (naturally highlighted from the sun while I was in Spain) he was jealous because mine looked more awesome than his :cool:

I got fed, I booted my stool down the classroom, walked up to his desk and slammed my hands down (in full view of the class) and said "Yano somethin, I can't stand you, half the people in here laugh at your stupidity and not because you're funny, they're laughing AT you and not WITH you. Wanna know what you are? You know when you've gone out for dinner and had a nice juicy steak or that delicious chicken and ham? Yeh? Well, you're that annoying bastard of a piece of meat that gets stuck between your teeth and does your head in for the rest of the fúcking day trying to get it out when you haven't got a toothpick! Now, you keep pissing me off and I swear I'll get a toothpick, so stop annoying me! Are we clear?"

I then picked my stool up and sat down in awe of the teacher and a completely silent open-mouthed classroom, I was last leaving the class and she simply winked and smiled and said "don't let rubbish like that get to you"

Your turn peeps

Did you really say that, or did you just sit there stewing in your pathetic vat of impotent rage?

Tilt Gone

Got pulled in by the cops one night with three of my mates. Events unfold as followed.

Cop: Name and address.
Friend: (tells name and address)
Cop: and why have you got rizla papers and cigarettes in your pocket.
Friend. I smoke rollies during the week cause I can't afford to buy fags.
Cop: Fair enough

Walks along to next guy in the line and asks the same name and address bull****.
Gets to my other friend and finds rizla's and cigarettes on him also.

Cop: I suppose you smoke rollies during the week also.
Other Friend: Actually No. I mind these for him in case he looses his.

Happynappy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ioBZ5fNJO8

OutlawPete

Happynappy wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ioBZ5fNJO8

From Jimmy Carr ..

To post a YouTube video..

When your typing your message, click the YouTube icon up on the right about over here ^^^^^

Then put everything after the 'v=' from the YouTube url between the Tags that will appear in your post.

For your video that means .. 1ioBZ5fNJO8

Quazzie

I was talking to a customer on the phone there now and he was asking would our company be able to meet an unreasonable delivery date he had set. I was looking through our work schedule to see if it was possible (half knowing it wasn't) and also thinking about when it could be done for and i was saying "MMMMMM".

He got smart and sai "M is the 13th letter on the alphabet, can ya do it or not?" to which I quickly retorted "and its followed by the letters NO".

He quickly apologized for being smart and gave me a more reasonable deadline.

marko91

retort lol