The most stupid thing you heard in school?

poisonated

a guy in my year said he was on the first ever dart... the thing is he is only 18
he also said his granny was on the titanic(i decided to delete the rest...too harsh)

mle1324

Mmcd wrote: »

Yes but if you're school can force you to where a uniform during them surely they could force you to stay as well.

i know what you mean aswell

Im finished on this,i have to stay and thats that:(

phasers

poisonated wrote: »

By the way he is an absolute bender hence the harsh words

You're mean about him because he's a robot? does that count as racism?

poisonated

well that depends are robots a race?I dont think so...I win:p

Blisterman

One guy I went to school with used to come out with the most ridiculous lies ever.
Here's a few samples:

"A lion almost killed bit my head off once on Safari, fortunatly my dad pulled my head out of the way at the last second."
"I can remember my past life. I was a passenger on the titanic"
"Michael Jordan gives me one on one basketball coaching"
"I was the first person to ever draw bubble letters"
"I came up with the idea for cheese and onion crisps, and I sent a letter to Tayto and they have me £50 for the idea"

4zn76tysfajdxp

Blisterman wrote: »

"I was the first person to ever draw bubble letters"

That's brilliant.

Aisling(",)

i missed a tape class in honors irish and was told as a result id have to drop to foundation.
how peculiar

Groe

My Businness teacher is brilliant the stuff he comes out with. I would be hear all day if I was to tell you everything so I'll tell you the one we laughed at the most.
Just before the end of class he wrote "Cute Hoore" on the board and told us about what it meant. He left the class no one thought anymore of what was on the board. Then the nbext teacher cam in for French and she knows of all the crazy stuff our business teacher comes out with and when she saw what was written on the board she put on the most surprised expression ever and the conversation began...

Teacher: Bonjour tout la monde.
Pupils: *drone* Bonjour madame *drone*
Teacher: ( turns to write something on the board and saw the "Cute Hoore" and just paused in amazement and didn't lknow what to say)
Us: (We knew what she was thinking so we burst out laughing)
Teacher: What teacher wrote that on the board)
Us: Teacher X.
Teacher: ( stares at the words with the look of *I'm not surprised it was him*)
Us: Laughter at the expression on the teachers face.
Teacher: *Trying to talk over the laughter* What the hell as he talking about?
Us: Still Laughing
Me: (I am not normally the funny guy just someone who talks alot) Ehmm well we were just talking about who we had next.

By the way the teacher is so sound and quite a good looker.

Rest of class and Teacher: *stare at me and pauses*
Me: Got bright red.
Class: Everyone bursts out laughing and I just sat there with my head in my hands while everyone continued to laugh for the next 5 minutes none stop.

When I eventually looked up as the laughter began to die down I saw the teacher giving me an absolute filthy and I thought **** I'm going to get in absolute Sh*te. ( I never got introuble with the year head before and could only imagine what my parents would say if I had to tell them why I got detention)

Thanfully thought the teacher said : I can not be;lieve a pupil just said that about me! If this was any other class you would be in the year heads office by now but on the other hand that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

*PHEWWWWWW* It was the funniest moment of the year. (For us anyways)

________________________________________________________________

There is a guy that is not quite the brightest guy in the class. Here are some of the many famous quotes from the man himself.

In Gegraphy.
*This was said very seriosuly*
Teacher: What clouds do we have today X?
Pupil: (the answer was cumulus clouds, associated with good weather, the ones on summers days that are thin and whispy) Ehmm.. Are they Cum Less clouds sir.
Class: *Laughter*

In History:
Teacher: Teachin g us about the penal laws.
Pupil: Ehh sir will we be getting an oral test on the Penal Laws?

In Science:
*Learning about the Exretion System*
*This was said very seriously also*
Teacher: X, what Comes out of the Urethra (What comes out when you take a piss?)
Pupil: Wee-wee miss.

All this happened in Second Year by the way.

They are the funniest ones I can remember anway.

Cool_CM

Let me put this in context, not the smartest lad, 5th year economics
"Sur, why doesn't America join the EU?"

segaBOY

Groe wrote: »

My Businness teacher is brilliant the stuff he comes out with. I would be hear all day if I was to tell you everything so I'll tell you the one we laughed at the most.
Just before the end of class he wrote "Cute Hoore" on the board and told us about what it meant. He left the class no one thought anymore of what was on the board. Then the nbext teacher cam in for French and she knows of all the crazy stuff our business teacher comes out with and when she saw what was written on the board she put on the most surprised expression ever and the conversation began...

Teacher: Bonjour tout la monde.
Pupils: *drone* Bonjour madame *drone*
Teacher: ( turns to write something on the board and saw the "Cute Hoore" and just paused in amazement and didn't lknow what to say)
Us: (We knew what she was thinking so we burst out laughing)
Teacher: What teacher wrote that on the board)
Us: Teacher X.
Teacher: ( stares at the words with the look of *I'm not surprised it was him*)
Us: Laughter at the expression on the teachers face.
Teacher: *Trying to talk over the laughter* What the hell as he talking about?
Us: Still Laughing
Me: (I am not normally the funny guy just someone who talks alot) Ehmm well we were just talking about who we had next.

By the way the teacher is so sound and quite a good looker.

Rest of class and Teacher: *stare at me and pauses*
Me: Got bright red.
Class: Everyone bursts out laughing and I just sat there with my head in my hands while everyone continued to laugh for the next 5 minutes none stop.

When I eventually looked up as the laughter began to die down I saw the teacher giving me an absolute filthy and I thought **** I'm going to get in absolute Sh*te. ( I never got introuble with the year head before and could only imagine what my parents would say if I had to tell them why I got detention)

Thanfully thought the teacher said : I can not be;lieve a pupil just said that about me! If this was any other class you would be in the year heads office by now but on the other hand that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

*PHEWWWWWW* It was the funniest moment of the year. (For us anyways)

So moral of the story you still don't know what cute hoor means :P

Joking sounds funny.

Groe

I think it was about some business term but with that teacher you can't be sure :P

segaBOY

Groe wrote: »

I think it was about some business term but with that teacher you can't be sure :P

Eh no, a "cute hoor" would be someone who has a sly way of getting what they want. For example a Kerryman would be stereotypically be called a "cute hoor".

Groe

segaBOY wrote: »

Eh no, a "cute hoor" would be someone who has a sly way of getting what they want. For example a Kerryman would be stereotypically be called a "cute hoor".

You could be right but anything with a kerryman in the example is probz dodge:rolleyes:

5318008!

When i was in first year a friend told me if you take ecstasy you have a one in ten chance of dying .

TPD

phasers wrote: »

It is crazy, I have to wear my uniform to the LC.
I think I'll try and get a note from the parents saying the uncomfortable-ness of my skirt could adversely affect my results

The "no leaving" thing is mental though, staying longer isn't gonna help you do any better!

Could have sworn you were a guy. Duno why.

j1smithy

mle1324 wrote: »

(serious) my JC is comming up and the rule in my school is that 'when you are finished your exam you are not allowed to leave even after the first half hour and before the last half hour.

Tough ****. Thats a State examination commission rule, and in case it needs explaining to you the first half hour is so people who turn up a little late are able to sit the exam, without them being able to ring someone who has left early to get answers. The last half hour is to help people who are still writing to not get distracted by people leaving, perfectly logical, and as I was sitting next to the door for my exams I was very happy to have it. Besides one should never leave early... Its highly unlikely you'll have anything more important to be at that day anyway.

brummytom

During one maths lesson, the teacher (a ****in nutter) went on about her dogs, which went something like:

Her:"Yes one's a bitch"
Class: (Mock Shock)
Her: "Yes yes I said bitch... she's a bitch, you're a bitch.. bitch"
"Anyway I've finally trained her to sh!t outside"


She got reported for that.. bloody whore

mle1324

j1smithy wrote: »

Its highly unlikely you'll have anything more important to be at that day anyway.

eh study,duaa,some people.

Mr.Lizard

Was told that Skeletors eye sockets were filled with toffee. Of course I wasn't stupid enough believe something as ridiculous as that!

Was told that if you held He-Man under the warm water of the kitchen tap for 20 minutes he would change colour into Prince Adam. Of course I wasn't ...... eh ..... nevermind.

OneArt

"Miss, what do inspectors look like?"

Fozzydog3

sexmag wrote: »

One of the simpeler kids in our year was givien one of the russian kids grief(messing of course)and says "shut up you russian c**t",teacher turns around and says to him "stop being raciest" to which the guy replies"how can i be raciest to him,hes not even black"enter an uproar of laughter from the class

are you in a school on the malahide road ? i heard a similiar story

mle1324

OneArt wrote: »

"Miss, what do inspectors look like?"

when that question was asked in my class the reply was ''Garda'' and it was true

OneArt

Oh. I told her they were a variation of Swedish pygmies.

phasers

TPD wrote: »

Could have sworn you were a guy. Duno why.

I get that a lot, maybe it's my manly name or my manly sesame street avatar.

j1smithy

mle1324 wrote: »

eh study,duaa,some people.

If you need to study on the day of your exam, its unlikely that study is going to help very much.... but I digress...

mle1324

j1smithy wrote: »

If you need to study on the day of your exam, its unlikely that study is going to help very much.... but I digress...

you never know its could,especially if your a person that dosent get stressed

5318008!

j1smithy wrote: »

If you need to study on the day of your exam, its unlikely that study is going to help very much.... but I digress...

Bull****. Last minute cramming has saved me many a time.

I was ****ed for LC honours english ( i mean i actually didn't pay attention for 90% of the class and never did the homework (i wrote a total of 3 essays in 2 years (we were given one a week)- although i did read the book and play we had).
Anyway, my sister wrote out some notes (she had many of the same poems as me). For the hour before the exam i just learnt off what was on the page. As soon as the exam started i wrote down everything i could remember on the exam sheet without even looking at the questions. I got a C2.

Local-womanizer

Was in Relgion,talking about Alcohol abuse and that you can spot an alcho if they drink on their own,the teacher asks the class:

Teacher:"What would you do if you found your friend drinking on his own?"

My mate:"Dunno,join him I suppose"

While walking past the all-girls school,2 girls arguing,one shouts at the other:

"I shag yore da":rolleyes:

The worst one was sitting in Art class,the teacher was explaining the crusades to us,one lad sitting in class says:

"Huh!,Good for the b@stards"

He then looks to his right to the muslim lad sitting there staring him out of it!

haemfire

'Is it true miss you can have sex without a condom for one day in your period but nobody knows what one it is?'

Fast Fwd 4years from that LC biology class and that girl has two kids!!

also the JC is important:D:D:D

TPD

phasers wrote: »

I get that a lot, maybe it's my manly name or my manly sesame street avatar.

A little from column 'A', a little from column 'B' methinks.