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The most stupid thing you heard in school?

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    #422
    gar32
    Registered Users Posts: 1,024 ✭✭✭gar32


    Teacher "Why are you late?"

    Student "I had no butter for my toast."



    Teacher "Why are you late?"

    Student "I thought it was Sunday."


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    #423
    buttercupbee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 146 ✭✭buttercupbee


    MultiUmm wrote: »
    Another thing was a former maths teacher of mine telling my mam that the 1st year exams are almost as important as the Leaving Cert. And my mam believed it.
    Oh teh lulz.

    :eek:


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    #424
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    blah wrote: »
    "I don't believe that people came from monkeys. Sure if that was true wouldn't monkeys still be turning into people today."

    Like as if the theory of evolution means that daily, chimpanzees are falling out of trees, shedding their hair, donning bowler hats and heading off to work in the call centre. :rolleyes:

    If you had ever worked in a call center you might think that to be true.


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    #425
    Mr Freeze
    Registered Users Posts: 6,618 ✭✭✭Mr Freeze


    elchupanebrey wrote: »
    Doing the circulatory system in Biology, the teacher made us draw it out and use a blue pen for the oxygenated blood coz its a darker colour than the deoxygenated blood, this was all fine til she decided to question us on it the following day.

    Teacher "What colour is oxygenated blood"

    Idiot student (aka me) "Blue"

    Teacher "WHAT?? Are you serious? When did you ever hear of blue blood?"

    Me, after much headscratching "Erm, Red.... Dark...... red"


    In French class we had a right ass for a teacher, she was of a very sensitive disposition or something, and a bit thick.
    There was a guy sitting in front of me with the same name as me.
    One day the teacher asks a question while looking in our general direction, she says our name, James, so i know she's talking to one of us.
    Neither of us answers and she starts saying " stop ignoring me"
    I decide to seek clarity as to which of us she's speaking.

    "Is it me you're talking to" (Blank look from teacher)
    "You talkin to me"
    "Me? Is it me or him you're talking to"
    "Are you talking to me or him" (Further vacant stares)
    "Which one of us are you talking to"
    "Is it me or James you're talking to"

    Teacher "Get Out"

    I can back this up, as I was in the same classes as you, had a great laugh reading these.

    Blue blood indeed, you always were a bit regal.:D


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    #426
    elchupanebrey
    Registered Users Posts: 477 ✭✭elchupanebrey


    I had the same maths teacher as my brother for the leaving cert. He did his about three years before me. You know how sometimes the teacher will call you by the name of an older sibling, maybe because of nostalgia or coz of the fact that they're nuts.

    For some reason the teacher kept calling me Jerard, my name is James. My brothers name is Sean.


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    #427
    Delightfully Pessimistic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 106 ✭✭Delightfully Pessimistic


    There was a girl in my religion class who was adamant that Islam was a country.


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    #428
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,127 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    toiletduck wrote: »
    You could 'recharge' depleted CallCards if you left them in the fridge overnight.

    "Gay Bryne is a total gay" - used that one if you didn't understand what gay meant.

    A girl's tit size was a result of how much milk she drank.

    We figured boobs were measured in cup sizes because they produced milk.


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    #429
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    In history class, circa 2003:

    Student: "Is Fidel Castro still the leader of Cuba?"

    Teacher: "No, no. Of course not."


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    #430
    MJ23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭MJ23


    A fella in my class asked the teacher, "are America in the Eurovision song contest?"
    It was hilarious.


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    #431
    GunRunner
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭GunRunner


    Everything my JC history teacher "taught" us. According to her, Eamon deValera, Michael Collins and Countess Markievicz we're in a three-way relationship, and the real reason that Germany lost world war II was because Hitler and Goebbels were secretly gay for each other and committed suicide so nobody would find out. People actually believed her. :O She made up everything she taught us. Also decided to skip the Irish history section because according to her it was "boring". Needless to say, over half of my clas failed history in the pres. Luckily she went on maternity leave so we had a decent teacher for two months before the JC.

    I'm a complete history nut, so I usually knew about the things we were learning already, so people would come over to me after class so I coud tell them the correct versions of the things she was teaching us.


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    #432
    AulBiddy
    Registered Users Posts: 348 ✭✭AulBiddy


    Not neccessarily stupidity but hilarity:
    Sitting in JC science just a few weeks before the exams and the teacher decides to go over skeletons and muscles.
    Our teacher was trying to get the best out of us asking us questions but nobody was bothered answering including myself (but it was mostly because our class was thicker than a plank).
    The teacher says "Right. What fluid keeps the bones lubricated?"
    A girl in my class just shouts, "OH! I know it! It's sperm!" Cue our whole class erupting in laughter :pac:


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    #433
    Brad768
    Registered Users Posts: 382 ✭✭Brad768


    A geography teacher said the the capital of Spain was Barcelona and when a student told her it was Madrid, she was adamant it is was Barcelona and sent the student outside for arguing with her.

    In French class and for some reason Tour De France got brought up and a student said to our teacher
    "Does it ever come to Ireland?"


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    #434
    Squidgy Black
    Registered Users Posts: 21,605 ✭✭✭✭Squidgy Black


    Brad768 wrote: »
    In French class and for some reason Tour De France got brought up and a student said to our teacher
    "Does it ever come to Ireland?"

    It actually has. They tend to have the prologue in different countries every year, it was in London this year, and in '98 it went through the Phoenix Park.

    So it was a valid question as it actually does.


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    #435
    Donny5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,827 ✭✭✭Donny5


    Brad768 wrote: »
    In French class and for some reason Tour De France got brought up and a student said to our teacher
    "Does it ever come to Ireland?"

    That's not really stupid, seeing as it came here in 1998.


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    #436
    Brad768
    Registered Users Posts: 382 ✭✭Brad768


    stetyrrell wrote: »
    It actually has. They tend to have the prologue in different countries every year, it was in London this year, and in '98 it went through the Phoenix Park.

    So it was a valid question as it actually does.
    Farking hell it does as well. Ah well.....I guess me and about 24 others owe him an apology then :)

    EDIT: In fairness, when an event is called "tour of france", the first question I would ask wouldn't be "Does it come to other countries?"


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    #437
    Shane-KornSpace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭Shane-KornSpace


    Girl in 5th year Geography class:
    Miss, why dont people on the bottom of the world fall off?


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    #438
    Rayne Wooney
    Registered Users Posts: 14,136 ✭✭✭✭Rayne Wooney


    4th year English. The teacher is handing out copys with homework he wasn't pleased with. He's going around and gets to Paul who was the class idiot. The teacher slams Paul's copy on his table and shouts "Do you know what a thesaurus is??"
    Paul thinks for a few seconds and says. "A dinosaur"
    The class erupts with laughter. Paul's face was like a tomatoe, poor lad stills gets abuse for that to this day


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