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The most stupid thing you heard in school?

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    #152
    Rosedale6
    Closed Accounts Posts: 160 ✭✭Rosedale6


    Have safe sex use condoms.


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    #153
    naasface
    Registered Users Posts: 210 ✭✭naasface


    in a first year science class
    teacher: "all living things are organisms"
    student: "but miss what is an orgasm?"

    thing is nobody laughed because nobody knew!
    Fair play to the teacher for keeping a straight face. I'd say the staff room had a great laugh bout that one.

    music
    "Laura take off those chandeliers we're not at a cocktail party"
    after a school trip 2 National concert hall in town at bout 11
    "Do you wanna go for a drink?.......of tea?"

    Student: "Miss you've been picking on me like all day"
    Teacher "ooh somebody's a bit touchy,*does impression of student* 'oh my god like i'm so upset like wow'.......Get out of my class."

    male teacher (in his 70's)- "Back in my day to get a girl back to your car you'd ask her did she want a look of your big stick"

    loads more but ive the memory of goldfish.


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    #154
    towel401
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,917 ✭✭✭towel401


    Pride Fighter wrote: »
    One of my teachers asked a bloke in my class what language they speak in Holland. The answer he got in return was Hollish.

    I remember this chick who thought a polder was a person who climbs poles


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    #155
    Bobalicious93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,552 ✭✭✭Bobalicious93


    Had a free class a couple of weeks ago and everybody was talking so the teacher that was covering got pissed off.
    She told us all to do an essay on our favourite movie or something. the guy sitting in front of me (absolute idiot) turns around to me and asks "whats the word for when you cant read or write?"

    He was trying to say Dyslexia but I wouldn't let him off that easy, so I said "Nymphomania", not thinking he would be so stupid to think I was serious.......

    WRONG!!! He shouts to the teacher "Miss, I can't do the essay 'cause I'm a nymphomaniac" :D The only thing that annoyed me was nobody else got it. :(


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    #156
    Local-womanizer
    Registered Users Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Guy in my science class argueing with the teacher,adament that men had overies!

    Irish teacher telling us not to pee in the artic as the pee will freeze all the way inside you and you'll have to dip your bits into boiling water to fix it......

    Discussion about vegans,teacher asked what shoes do vegans wear,lad shouted up pure serious "Wellies"


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    #157
    board om
    Closed Accounts Posts: 643 ✭✭✭board om


    one of the funniest things i remember was some guy from my class eagerly telling us about this amazing development scientists had made. apparently they had managed to get Dinosaur DNA from some Mosquito they had found preserved in ice. and from this Dinosaur DNA they had managed to recreate real live dinosaurs. he was very excited about this and he went to great lengths to try and convince us, but it just didnt seem quite right.

    a few months later Jurassic Park was released in the cinemas.............


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    #158
    Stones85
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭Stones85


    punchestown wrote: »
    Garda College, Templemore.

    Chief comes in to lecture theatre to welcome new recruits. 'Have we any Dubs with us?' etc repeated for each major county in Ireland and a couple of backwater towns that the chief knew well. Then he asks 'Have we any friends from the north with us?' Cue one hand being raised. 'And what part of the six counties are you from?' he asks the girl with the hand raised sitting not two rows away from him. 'Donegal' she replies!:eek:


    You can't get any further north than Donegal dummy. The girl obviously thought as anyone from Donegal would that he was talking about the north of the island/country.

    All this post shows is your and your other classmates stupidity, no wonder you became a garda.


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    #159
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,049 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Stones85 wrote: »
    You can't get any further north than Donegal dummy. The girl obviously thought as anyone from Donegal would that he was talking about the north of the island/country.

    All this post shows is your and your other classmates stupidity, no wonder you became a garda.
    Watch it.


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    #160
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Someone once told me to put anti-semetic on my leg....


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    #161
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    Someone once told me to put anti-semetic on my leg....

    My accountancy teacher gave us gold stars when we did well. :confused:


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    #162
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    javaboy wrote: »
    My accountancy teacher gave us gold stars when we did well. :confused:
    Lmao


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    #163
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    AFC_1903 wrote: »
    Drugs are bad - if you smoke cannabis you'll never make anything of yourself!

    :eek:
    Damn It I smoke loads of cannabis and I..........

    Oh yeah,nevermind


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    #164
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    kateos2 wrote: »
    in religion one day this year

    "like i'm not racist, i like black people"
    O.k This is the icing on the cake og ignorance.....We are playing football out in the field during P.E.There is a big garbage pile near us full of flies.One flies on the the African girl in our class.
    One girl from the team says....ah we will be ok all the flys will go over to her ya know the way black people attract them like you see in those ads and all.......with the starvin babies and all....Someone neglected to tell her it's over 25 Degrees out there and they are too weak to wipe the files off their faces cause they are starving to death!!


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    #165
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Oh and.....

    You are bisexual.....does that mean you have sex with the girls aswell as kiss them eww....

    No I sit down and eat fcuking cake with them!!!! Duuh!


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    #166
    schween
    Registered Users Posts: 444 ✭✭schween


    Being told for 2 years that I was going to fail LC maths because I didn't understand it and then being told not to bother applying for college. Muwha haha They were so wrong.


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    #167
    McSeamus ORiley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 33 ✭McSeamus ORiley


    Don't touch the daddy-longlegs, they'll sting your hand and it'll swell up to the size of a football. :pac:


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    #168
    nobodythere
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    It's amazing the amount of people who have been told by teachers they'll never amount to anything...


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    #169
    kraggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    metaoblivia wrote: »
    A girl in my marine biology class when looking at a map of the world: Oh my God! All the oceans of the world are connected!

    Same girl, same class. We were taking a true or false test and numer 19 was a freeie - it said, "The answer to this question is false."
    Girl: I don't understand number 19
    Teacher (incredulous): Um... why?
    Girl: I don't know if it's true or false.
    Teacher: What does the question say?
    Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

    Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearian.

    That's brilliant. And so is she for looking at it that way.

    The best I heard at school was my highly strung French teacher get flustered one day and ask my classmate:

    "What's your name Kevin?"


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    #170
    inpornitrust
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭inpornitrust


    RichTea wrote: »
    There were tonnes of them. Most of them in car crashes I seem to remember.


    Daftest one was Johnny Knoxville dying after jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

    Steve-O from Jackass was meant to have died as well.

    What was the story with all of these rumours?

    we can only hope


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    #171
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    The funniest thing I remember about school involved my junior cert French teacher. Any ladies of a particular age might remember the game dream phone. The picture of the phone is below. You used a giant pink plastic phone and you "rang" boys on a list and they told you a clue to find out who liked you. It was hilarous!

    DreamPhone1991.jpg


    Anyway, I did a clear out of my room and found the game in my wardrobe so brought it to school as I was staying in my friends house that night and we were going to play it for old times sake. She took the giant pink phone out in French class and pretended to ring people on it for the laugh.

    She got a detention from the teacher for using her mobile in class! He thought it was real :)

    EDIT: Wtf, why are the image tags not working? Grrrrr!


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    #172
    Overheal
    Registered Users Posts: 81,736 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    shenanigans1982 wrote: »
    Always remember one guy in my class being convinced that you had to urinate inside a girl to get her pregnant.


    One of my friends was a bit warped because he could get scrambled porn on the tv in his bedroom, and was convinced a woman gets pregnant from drinking pee.


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    #173
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    Oh and.....

    You are bisexual.....does that mean you have sex with the girls aswell as kiss them eww....

    No I sit down and eat fcuking cake with them!!!! Duuh!

    mmmm, fcuking cake. the best kind of cake
    watna wrote: »

    EDIT: Wtf, why are the image tags not working? Grrrrr!

    they don't work in AH. can you imagine what would happen if they did :eek:


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    #174
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,380 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    McSeamus ORiley wrote: »
    Don't touch the daddy-longlegs, they'll sting your hand and it'll swell up to the size of a football. :pac:

    TBH that would happen if they had teeth, daddy-longlegs have the most deadly venom in the world but can't administer it due to having no teeth. Quoted from Ricky Gervais


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    #175
    sillysasauge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 166 ✭✭sillysasauge


    Another guy, I'm definitely hetrosexual
    Me to everyone, ewww he just said his hetrosexual, the big gay lord


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    #176
    TPD
    Registered Users Posts: 7,814 ✭✭✭TPD


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    TBH that would happen if they had teeth, daddy-longlegs have the most deadly venom in the world but can't administer it due to having no teeth. Quoted from Ricky Gervais

    Nope, they have fangs which can pierce human skin, but they have f-all venom so do pretty much nothing to you.

    Ricky lied to us all!


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    #177
    sillysasauge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 166 ✭✭sillysasauge


    TPD wrote: »
    Nope, they have fangs which can pierce human skin, but they have f-all venom so do pretty much nothing to you.

    Ricky lied to us all!

    ROFL TO THE EXTREME!!!!


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    #178
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    Nolanger wrote: »
    Most teachers are conservative idiots incapable of questioning the world around them.
    Those who can do - those who can't ...

    Most teachers are like most other people, except they are constrained by the curiculum and by the ethos of the school in which they teach. They aren't supposed to give too personal an opinion or follow personal agenda's.

    For example, an atheist teaching in a Catholic school would be very brave to mention his/her lack of belief. It would be equally unpopular, I would imagine, to promote Evolution as opposed to Creationism in a Muslim school.


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    #179
    sillysasauge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 166 ✭✭sillysasauge


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Most teachers are like most other people, except they are constrained by the curiculum and by the ethos of the school in which they teach. They aren't supposed to give too personal an opinion or follow personal agenda's.

    For example, an atheist teaching in a Catholic school would be very brave to mention his/her lack of belief. It would be equally unpopular, I would imagine, to promote Evolution as opposed to Creationism in a Muslim school.

    Fair point to be honest, I enjoy your work :)


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    #180
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    sillysasauge wrote: »
    Fair point to be honest, I enjoy your work :)
    I think you'll have more fun here.


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    #181
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    metaoblivia wrote: »
    A girl in my marine biology class when looking at a map of the world: Oh my God! All the oceans of the world are connected!

    Same girl, same class. We were taking a true or false test and numer 19 was a freeie - it said, "The answer to this question is false."
    Girl: I don't understand number 19
    Teacher (incredulous): Um... why?
    Girl: I don't know if it's true or false.
    Teacher: What does the question say?
    Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

    Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearian.

    eh...but that girl is right!

    "The answer to this question is false".

    If that statement is false than your answer is true.

    If that statement is true then your answer is true.

    As to the guard who said the girl was stupid for answering donegal when she was asked 'Where in the north are you from', it is the guard that is quite stupid there.

    If i was from donegal and some-one said to me 'is there anyone from the north here' i would put my hand up. I hate when people pick at the idea of 'the north and northern ireland'. ~donegal is in the north.

    yes she's not from the six counties, but where is she gonna say she's from: the south of Ireland? Wise up


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