Talk About Your Relationships Here

Nevyn

mollybird wrote: »

ya i had that whole thing of my "ex" meeting my current beau. we went over to my ex's place as there were a few people there. kinda wanted to show there was nothing going on between us. and even though we were no where near each other the whole night he could feel the chemistry between us as soon as he walked into the room. the guy i was going out with was not the first to think we were together when we were not.

That can be a right pain in the arse.

mollybird wrote: »

in the end the "ex" told me he got his girlfriend pregnant and that was the end of us once and for all. after 10 years of cat and mouse games i was relieved in the end. didn't have to have him wrecking my head.

Why did you keep that door open ? why did take him having a kid before you
closed it and nailed it shut ? esp if it was so head wrecking ?

mollybird

because i thought he was my soul mate, love at first sight the whole thing. i just couldn't forget him that easily. i even brought the guy to my debs and he kept the big pic of us on his fire place. what does that tell ya??

spinandscribble

mollybird wrote: »

because i thought he was my soul mate, love at first sight the whole thing. i just couldn't forget him that easily. i even brought the guy to my debs and he kept the big pic of us on his fire place. what does that tell ya??

not much, its a photo and the debs... hey noone here knows him or you or what you had. don't feel the need to justify yourself.

Aved

I just have a quick question in relation to male motives.
I've been involved with a friend of a friend on and off for the past 2 years or so but it always gets to the same point and then I literally get pushed aside.

It's happened again recently. We bumped into each other at a friend's house and the cycle began again where he said we should meet for coffee and make a go of things, he's really missed me, it was the nicest surprise in the world seeing me etc.
Arrangements will be made and then at the last minute I get a text along the lines of "too tired not going to go"
If anyone could give me an insight into why he might be doing this I'd really appreciate it.

Sephiroth_dude

Got dumped today,feeling ****ty .

Toots

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Got dumped today,feeling ****ty .

Aw! *hugs*

Nevyn

mollybird wrote: »

because i thought he was my soul mate, love at first sight the whole thing. i just couldn't forget him that easily.

Yup that would have you wrecking your own head.

mollybird

well i pretty much have now. been seeing a guy for over 2 years now and don't think about that fool anymore. been looking at places on daft as me and OH moving intogether when me finished my degree in may.

nikki 122

mollybird wrote: »

well i pretty much have now. been seeing a guy for over 2 years now and don't think about that fool anymore. been looking at places on daft as me and OH moving intogether when me finished my degree in may.

well thats definetly a step forward :-)

Lorrs33

Met a guy at a concert, texted each other for two weeks before we started dating. Became distant with me just a week later, and we broke up a few days after. Foolishly kept in touch with him, every time we arranged to meet up, he wouldn't text me till after the day we'd arranged, and then make out that he was there, even though we didn't set a time or place, and I'd feel bad.

Finally saw sense and fell for a close friend of mine (my current boyfriend), and the first guy starts calling me names, saying I planned it. Then he tried to convince me that I still wanted to be with him. Been ignoring him for months, he texts now and then to test the water, but I haven't replied yet.

Sephiroth_dude

Good woman and dont txt him either .

mollybird

good girl don't reply!!

Anto318

Spilt up with my girlfriend last week after 5 years together

We met when we were in college and after about 2 weeks together she moved in with me into a small single bed room. It was cramped but loved every minute of it. Over the 5 years I got her 5 jobs (wrote up her C.V, applied for positions etc etc), won her an excellence award and also thought her how to drive and tried to make her become an independent woman.

Well for the last 5 years I have handled everything like washing, ironing, cooking, handling bills/rent, cleaning, holidays everything (I'm a fella before you ask and I know more fool me ) but we decided to finish our relationship.

Currently I am living in a 3 bed house on my own until next week and she has just moved her stuff out and guess what I have to empty the house and clean everything before I leave.

So hoping new house and new life. If anyone is looking for a successful guy who cooks, cleans and irons please drop me a line

The plan is to focus on work and enjoy my travel with work more and to save. Hopefully I'll meet a nice woman who is looking for an independent and confident 25yr old.

mariaalice

I'm sure every one has done daft things when in a relationship but!!!....at the moment im aware of a woman who is in a relationship that consists of driving hundreds of miles each weekend to be with a man

who texts other women, flirts with other women, is on a dating sites
she cleans his house and dose his ironing
he has lied to her and let her down
he didn't get her a Christmas present
he has issues about intimacy
he has commitment issues
he is years older that her

she is an attractive intelligent woman of 39 with a small child she says its very hard to meet anyone and when your lonely sometimes anyone is better that no one she says she likes him because he is artistic and musical and shares her interested ....but sometime you'd wonder why a woman would stay in a relationship where you treated like that

Nevyn

fear.

Kirnsy

...of being alone and the fear of possibly never finding anyone.



*not meaning to put words into your (virtual) mouth Thaed!



my and the Gf broke up there a week ago after a year and a half! we're in the same course in college so its going to be rough for the next while because its impossible to cut her out for closure..

Nevyn

Those two and a whole heap of others all to do with the future.
She will stay as she is as long as she thinks something better is too much of a gamble.

joes girls

me and my other half broke up nearly 4 weeks ago he wont face up to whats wrong only wants to blame others so cant see any going back,its a pity 17 years is a long time to be with someone .

Nevyn

Ouch that sucks.

joes girls

ya but what can you do

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Those two and a whole heap of others all to do with the future.
She will stay as she is as long as she thinks something better is too much of a gamble.

+1

Maybe it can also be that this kind of behaviour from the bad boy type, makes him look like a catch(other women want him, he does little pursuing etc), it keeps the woman off balance emotionally in a bad way and is confused for a healthy relationship with a good man. Throw in that some women tend to be more nurturing of others, or try to "fix" others in their lives and all bets are off. That'd be my take anyway from what I've seen of women mates doing similar.

TBH having seen that, as a guy I went through the phase of doing much less for the women in my life, as the truth was IME it was simply more successful. I went from doing too much, which is wrong IMHO, as I've found there is a point where if you do too much, it puts into sharper focus what you're not doing for them, rather than what you are. 9 times outa 10 they'll leave for someone who does less. I have copped on and realise there's a balance to be struck though.

joes girls wrote:

me and my other half broke up nearly 4 weeks ago he wont face up to whats wrong only wants to blame others so cant see any going back,its a pity 17 years is a long time to be with someone .

Bummer:( 17 years?

ownknee

With my boyfriend about three years & he's looking for planning permisson on a site he has.
He always talks about how it's 'our' site. But it's not. His father gave it to him before I ever I appeared on the scene. I get on very well with his family & they like me & I like them.
The thing is I'm not too pushed about the site or the house.
To be honest I am stone cracked about him but when I tell him I love him he kind of goes a bit strange. It's like he wants to tell me the same but he can't.
I know his childhood wasn't great & his parents relationship was anything but normal.
I'm just wondering if we can have a future & if anyone thinks we might get engaged anytime soon?
I know it sounds very weird & strange but at times I honestly believe he wants a future with me that includes marriage & children. The last holiday we had he asked me if I wanted the whole marriage/ kids thing.
Which by the way I do, but in the right circumstances.
I have no doubt he is Mr Right, but I wonder if he is able for children?

Breaktown

Why don't you just sit down and talk to him about it? Being open and honest and discussing everything makes for a good relationship.

Klingon Hamlet

He's been with you 3 years and still he can't say he loves you? I think maybe if the two of you went to see a counsellor, helped to bring him out of his shell. It's proably quite tough on you, being so crazy about him but not hearing the loving words in return. He possibly loves you like mad but everyone needs to hear it and if he can't say it, then counselling might help "unblock" those feelings and words.

The fact he calls it both of yours site means he feels very close to you, I'd imagine. Hope everything works out well for the both of you.

ownknee

I have no doubt that he is serious but I am expecting too much or am I being happy with too little?
I don't know. Lately I just feel like I need a few words to make me feel a bit better.
He's never been, or will ever be, a romantic-lovey-dovey-boyfriend.
But am I wrong to expect something?
I thought we would have got engaged last year but we didn't. Now this is not being over romantic or wanting it to happen for the sake of it, by the way he was talking I genuinely thought it was going to happen.
As it is I'm happy with the way things are because when I get engaged & married thats going to be it. I don't do anything but the real thing & I've found the real thing.
I know I sound like a bit of a weirdo but I'm not...I swear I'm not!!!

HoLLLLLaments

there is no "one". life is not a U2 song.

None of us can answer your questions. You'll have to ask him.
But you don't think about building a house on your family land with someone lightly.

seanybiker

Breaktown wrote: »

Why don't you just sit down and talk to him about it? Being open and honest and discussing everything makes for a good relationship.

+1

mollybird

well i can tell ya my OH very rarely tells me he loves me. i mean once every 6 months if i'm lucky. but i know he does by the way he treats me, is there for me when i neeed him etc. he is like your guy just needs to come out of his shell. even do he also does say that he does not like to say it when someone says it to him as it's too cliche. i told him i like to hear the words so he does try to make an effort.

i know he is the one for me. and keep dropping hints of getting a ring (of course once i finish my deg in may). we going out 2 and a half years.

Dragan

Moonbaby wrote: »

None of us can answer your questions. You'll have to ask him.
But you don't think about building a house on your family land with someone lightly.

Bingo. It's a culchie thing.