Talk About Your Relationships Here

Trinity

Cinamon Girl wrote: »

Thanks Trinity1 and SarahSassy. You are right. He knows how I feel, its up to him to make the next move. I just needed someone to say it for me. Men, they really do my head at times, most of the time in fact. I don't mind the early texts as we both seem to be early risers. But you would wonder at someone sending a text that early on holidays! I didn't reply for a few hours I assure you. Anyway by the time he gets in touch again, if ever, hopefully I'll have met someone better.

Theres always an arse and an elbow with them though isnt there, nothing can be easy and straightforward. DO you like me, yes i like you, will we go out, yes we will. No they have to prick about.

There are nice guys out there who dont play games and maybe he is not but if there is a lot of hassle in the honeymoon stage when its supposed to be love and frolics then imagine what it will be like further on.

But in saying that if you are at a loose end for a drink and an ego boost by all means go for a drink but i wouldnt spend too much time waiting for this one i'm afraid.

thejurysout

Trinity1 wrote: »

Ah ****. Thats sucks. Did she say why? Dont beat yourself up about it you seem to have done all the right things.

She said lots of things, I said lots of things. Seems she has her mind made up now but took her sweet time doing so. Still not sure myself why to be honest. Can't put it down to a sentence. My take is she seemed to think we had problems, yet this was the first I heard of any problems. Nothing I can do now she's gone and ain't coming back. Thanks for all the advice, it did help.

Trinity

thejurysout wrote: »

She said lots of things, I said lots of things. Seems she has her mind made up now but took her sweet time doing so. Still not sure myself why to be honest. Can't put it down to a sentence. My take is she seemed to think we had problems, yet this was the first I heard of any problems. Nothing I can do now she's gone and ain't coming back. Thanks for all the advice, it did help.

The worst thing you can do is analyse and blame yourself, looking for reasons, explanations, even though you think thats what you need.

I wish you all the best and it will get better in time. I dont mean to sound patronsing but it really will.

Macha

thejurysout wrote: »

She said lots of things, I said lots of things. Seems she has her mind made up now but took her sweet time doing so. Still not sure myself why to be honest. Can't put it down to a sentence. My take is she seemed to think we had problems, yet this was the first I heard of any problems. Nothing I can do now she's gone and ain't coming back. Thanks for all the advice, it did help.

I always think its important to try & learn something from these situations. The next time a girl starts behaving in a similar way with you, you may be able to deal with it more quickly & get the whole thing sorted one way or another.

Just from my own experiences, my first boyfriend was a total charmer, cheated, lied the whole nine yards. I was really hurt by the whole experience. But now (well, when I was single), whenever a guy starts turning on the charm, alarm bells go off in my head & I save myself a lot of time & hassle.

**anon

i need a bit of a rant ladies, this might seem really a small thing but here goes..

myself and my bf have been together a year and a half, anniverseries have gone with no celebration, my birthday was remembered at about 2 oclock in the afternoon.. even though i spelt it out.

just in general everyday i feel really underappreicated.

all my friends and family spoil their girlfriends.. whether its with affection, dinner, flowers etc

if i go shopping and if see his deodorant, gel or nice tshirt, il buy it for him, without hesitiation.. its not about money, its about the thought and saving him having to go buy them but when he's shopping online or in town, he wouldnt think "oh that top would look nice on my mrs so il get that for her' or as a treat il cook dinner or clean the house..

he recently won a little on the lotto, even if i joke and say 'that bag (10euro in dunnes) would look really nice on me' .. he just laugh it off

the reason i've less money is because im paying for a car to drive the 2 of us back and forth from work every day!

aaarrrgggghhhhhhh

im not expecting replies or advice cause i know it sounds selfish.. but if i dont rant then il end up blurtin it out at the wrong time

Jules

Have you spoken to him about it? And its not selfish, everyone needs to feel apperciated in their relationship.

**anon

nah havent said anythin yet but i think i definitley will.. thanks

Erica-smiley

**anon wrote: »

nah havent said anythin yet but i think i definitley will.. thanks

Yeah I'd definitely say something as he probably doesnt even realise he's doing it..... Fellas are kinda stupid like that!

:D

nikki 122

hey, quick question, i'm ok looking a nice girl but the last time anyone asked me out or to meet them was all the way back in january, i'm too shy to make the first move do you think i should start?? i am so sick of waiting

Cathmandooo

nikki 122 wrote: »

hey, quick question, i'm ok looking a nice girl but the last time anyone asked me out or to meet them was all the way back in january, i'm too shy to make the first move do you think i should start?? i am so sick of waiting

Yes if you see someone you like and want to go out with them ask them out. No point sitting around waiting.

nikki 122

yes but isn't it embarrassing when they say no??

Cathmandooo

Yes of course but wouldn't you rather take the chance of being a little embarrassed over sitting at home bored by yourself? A lot of guys find it very complimentary to be asked out by a girl. Do you have your eye on someone in particular at the moment?

nikki 122

yes there is a guy in college but it does not seem he is interested in me

g'em

nikki 122 wrote: »

yes but isn't it embarrassing when they say no??

Of course it is, but at the same time at least that way you know they aren't worth bothering about! Guys find it nerve wrecking asking girls out too, and like Cathooo said it's just as complimentary for them to be asked out as it is for us.

As great and all as it would be sit be able to just sit back and let men come flooding to your feet (actually, no, that would be crap, where's the fun if there's no chase, not even a little one!?) that's just never going to happen. Get out there, go out with friends, get involved, meet lots and lots of new people. Some of them you'll like, some will like you back and hey presto, you've got something to work with.

Cathmandooo

If he's in college I'm sure you'll bump into him at events or in the pub, strike up a conversation and you'll have a better idea whether he's interested or not, suggest meeting him for a drink if he's chatty with you and see what happens. Good luck

nikki 122

thanks much might be a little more complicated than that but thats a long story for another time.... how cheesy was that

Tragedy

If i remember right, you're only 18 or 19 Nikki, so relax and let things happen
Asking guys out is a nice ability for a girl to have, but if you cant - patience and dont settle.

nikki 122

don't worry i won't settle my standards are too high ha, i tried talking to the guy today and i completely made an idiot out of myself i did not know what to say, so i started talking about a guy i went out with that told me he was into other people need i say anymore point is all i can do is wait because there is no way i will ever approach a guy i don't know ever again!!!!

FlexiLexi

boyf of nearly 2 years broke up with me saying he needs some space.
girls, does space mean that they'll come back?

Kya1976

awww *hugs* sorry to hear that. hard to say really if it means he'll come back or not ......

FlexiLexi

Kya1976 wrote: »

awww *hugs* sorry to hear that. hard to say really if it means he'll come back or not ......

thanks. he said he is still in love with me. i dunno, its really scary stuff...

homerun_homer

FlexiLexi wrote: »

thanks. he said he is still in love with me. i dunno, its really scary stuff...

I'm sorry to hear about your break up.
I wish I could give you some hope but my ex told me she still loved me (she wasn't just saying it either) but still wouldn't start the relationship again. If that is what it looks like will happen in your situation then it will only wreck with your head as it did mine.

Obviously none of us know your situation and what led him to this point, but maybe give him the space and see what happens. I hope he comes to his senses

FlexiLexi

homerun_homer wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear about your break up.
I wish I could give you some hope but my ex told me she still loved me (she wasn't just saying it either) but still wouldn't start the relationship again. If that is what it looks like will happen in your situation then it will only wreck with your head as it did mine.

Obviously none of us know your situation and what led him to this point, but maybe give him the space and see what happens. I hope he comes to his senses

me too. its all i want. on day 3 now, and it just seems to get harder.
break ups are good for 2 things, your figure....cause you lose the apetite completely (3 days sans food is amazing!) and realising you have the best friends and family ever.

FlexiLexi

and a great boards family too!:D

Gyalist

FlexiLexi wrote: »

boyf of nearly 2 years broke up with me saying he needs some space.
girls, does space mean that they'll come back?

Well, I'm not a girl bit I can tell you that it is highly unlikely that he'll come back.
What he did is the coward's way of breaking up - second only to the "it's not you, it's me" line.

FlexiLexi wrote: »

thanks. he said he is still in love with me. i dunno, its really scary stuff...

He's just trying to hedge his bets and let you down gently at the same time. Pay no mind to what he says, his actions speak far louder than his words.

Wibbs

FlexiLexi wrote: »

boyf of nearly 2 years broke up with me saying he needs some space.
girls, does space mean that they'll come back?

Depends. You can increase the chances though. Give him all the "space" he wants. Start to move on now. This minute. Today.

TBH space/break etc are excuses. Especially at the 2 year mark. The truth is he's having second thoughts. The honeymoon is over etc. The challenge is gone. Boredom basically. He knows where you stand, but he's not sure about himself. the "he loves me" bit is nice to hear, but useless to you if he's walking away.

So back off. Move on. Become a challenge again. become the woman you were when he met you first. If he comes back, then cool, but keep him on his toes. If he doesn't well you're already moving forward and in better stead for you and whatever follows. Result either way.

FlexiLexi

thanks guys.
its just hard to believe its over. it was all so sudden, came out of nowhere. and all before christmas, which means im one present down this year, tragic....:rolleyes:
ill try to see the positive side, that space may bring him back realising what a fool he has been, or that space will help me realise that maybe it just wasnt meant to be. i hope its not the latter though.:(

Ginny

Flexi was in your position a week from now last week, do not contact him, try and move on with your life.
If he does contact you to talk don't go running back, if you do end up getting back together you may end up still hurting from how he's hurt you.
Put yourself first because he's doing that for himself, harsh but true, I know I didn't, we kept in contact and he repeatedly hurt me over and over again until I copped on.
Look after yourself, arrange nights out with friends, maybe even a small trip away if possible.

FlexiLexi

Ginny wrote: »

Flexi was in your position a week from now last week, do not contact him, try and move on with your life.
If he does contact you to talk don't go running back, if you do end up getting back together you may end up still hurting from how he's hurt you.
Put yourself first because he's doing that for himself, harsh but true, I know I didn't, we kept in contact and he repeatedly hurt me over and over again until I copped on.
Look after yourself, arrange nights out with friends, maybe even a small trip away if possible.

sorry to hear it Ginny. I hope youre feeling better. its just really hard at the moment. Life goes on i guess, everything could always be that little bit worse.

homerun_homer

FlexiLexi wrote: »

thanks guys.
its just hard to believe its over. it was all so sudden, came out of nowhere. and all before christmas, which means im one present down this year, tragic....:rolleyes:
ill try to see the positive side, that space may bring him back realising what a fool he has been, or that space will help me realise that maybe it just wasnt meant to be. i hope its not the latter though.:(

No amount of advice telling you to move on will help, didn't for me so I wouldn't say it to you. As you said yourself 3rd day down, you're in mourning and not eating but posting here and opening up about it helps so keep it up and don't be shy. My only bit of advice is to keep yourself distracted. As hard as it is, just try and do things every day to keep you occupied.

When people say he got bored or whatever, don't take it to heart. It's only speculation based on their own experiences.

Christmas is a hard time to be missing someone close to you, but it's good that you have great friends and family to help you out.