One-Liner Jokes

Originally posted by filmlaw74
What do you call an Italian football player with a rubber toe?
Roberto

still laughing at this one 5mins later

I replaced my car headlights with strobe lights
... now it looks like I'm the only one moving.

My neighbor put in a circular driveway
... but now, he can't get out.

I bought some powdered water once
... but I didn't know what to add.

I put instant coffee in a microwave once
... and almost went back in time.

I Xeroxed a mirror just to see what would happen
... Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory
... But, you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

I've started taking La maze classes
... I'm not having a baby; just having trouble breathing.

Whenever I sit and think of the past
... it brings back so many memories.

I remember when the candle shop burned down
... Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is
... it's always room temperature.

I make all my own water - -
... two glasses of H, one glass of O.

I installed the deer whistles on my car backwards
... now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards
... I got a full house and four people died.

I once bought a humidifier and a de-humidifier
...Then, I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was gay.

I know it's really stupid, so stupid that ya have to laugh at it!:p

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

how do you know you're at a bulimic stag party?..........


the cake jumps out of the girl