One-Liner Jokes

BaZmO*

herobear wrote:

thats so stupid jeez, humans are made with meat too, but we dont each other

It's called a joke!! :rolleyes:

Frank Drebin

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

Q: What is the difference between a hedgehog and a porsche
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

The joke started with a hedgehog..... Where did the porcupine come from?
I get the idea though. And your post had me in stitches laughing!

Lump

Frank Drebin wrote:

The joke started with a hedgehog..... Where did the porcupine come from?
I get the idea though. And your post had me in stitches laughing!

How can you make a balls up of a one liner?

John

Still made me laugh.

JackKelly

Frank Drebin wrote:

The joke started with a hedgehog..... Where did the porcupine come from?
I get the idea though. And your post had me in stitches laughing!

lol.classic.

spunkymunky

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
Doug

What do you call a man with no shovel in his head?
Dougless

What do call an epileptic in a bush?
Russell

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in water?
Bob

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto

2 Gay men are at a carnival and one goes up on the farus wheel. After about 5 minutes the wheel crashes to the ground with everybody on it. The gay man on the ground runs over and find his friend and asks
"are you alright"
To which the other replies
"No im not alright, the wheel went round twice and you only waved once"

Capt'n Midnight

Frank Drebin wrote:

The joke started with a hedgehog..... Where did the porcupine come from?

The are both the same, except for the echidna.

What do you call a man at the end of a pier ? - Rod

Frank Drebin

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

The are both the same, except for the echidna.

Echidna: An oviparous spiny-coated toothless burrowing nocturnal monotreme mammal (Tachyglossus aculeatus) of Australia, Tasmania, and New Guinea that has a long extensile tongue and long heavy claws and that feeds chiefly on ants; also : a related mammal (Zaglossus bruijni) of New Guinea having a longer snout and shorter spines. (Neither a hedgehog nor a porcupine!)

StupidLikeAFox

What's the difference between a wife and a job?
After 5 years, the job still sucks

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.

Capt'n Midnight

Bob Hope..
''I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom.''

''My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar--I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.''

"'It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward...I came out in sympathy.''

''Those were really tough times in vaudeville. I wouldn't have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the audience throwing stuff at me.''

''A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.''

''I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. Have to bring him in from Lourdes.''

To GIs based in Alaska: ''Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.''

To a group of amputees: "Please don't stand up on my account.''

''When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.''

''A rather chubby lady walked by and the panhandler went into his pitch and he said, 'Ma'am I haven't eaten in three days.' She said, 'Gee I sure wish I had your willpower.' ''

''Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.''

padster

what does the average packistani weigh ..............................sweets

doug1970

rang the chinese and a blonde bird answered the phone...
"do you deliver?" i asked
..."no, sorry" she replied....."we just do chicken and beef"
........???

yeraulone

did you hear about the cannibal who ate his girlfriend?.....

he dumped her the next day.

Peteee

what does DNA stand for...................




National Dyslexic association
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Korvanica

Whats The Difference Between an Orange?......

The Higher You Go The Much....

edson

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

Wonkey

Megatron

2 canibals sitting down eating a clow , 1st looks at the 2nd and says " does this taste funny to you ?"


What do you call a three legged dokey elivs impersonator ?

A Honkey tonkey wonkey

what do you get if you cross a elephant and a Rhino ?

Elephino ( pronounced : hell if i know)

omnicorp

Working with this company is like sleeping with a hedgehog
1 prick working against thousands

Jonny Arson

I invented the balaclava ..... I never got any RECOGNITION for it.

I invented the mobile phone top up ...... I never got any CREDIT for it.

Gone West

whats the difference between a woman and a computer?
A woman wont take a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

Nialooo

Cozpyro wrote:

Nah, but I do know Logs Burn

i know Mike Rotch,Robin Banks,Hugh Jass,Anita Bath,Amanda Hugginkis :cool:

Buttmunchy

What's wrinkly and pink and hangs out your pajamas?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>

Your Mother. :P

bang_bang_rosie

What's the similarity between a christmas tree and a man who's had a vasectomy?

The balls are purely for decoration.

love it

Raytown Rocks

Jesus said to Moses
"come forth and you shall inherit the world"
but he came fifth and won a toaster.

BaZmO*

chef wrote:

Jesus said to Moses
"come forth and you shall inherit the world"
but he came fifth and won a toaster.

LOL. I like that one!

B.

den.fitz

Craig DUff decides he has enough...
he packs his bags,
wipes his face,
drops the kids off at the park
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He wasnt going anywhere
-Sex

mightymoose

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

by far the best

Bloody Drunkard

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive.....




Popeye kicked the **** out of him

Zombienosh

What do ya call a fried egg on a moped?



.
A mad yoke.

TerrorFirmer

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread"

Thats funny, I spent ages looking through all these and that the funniest by far.

Why do Frenchmen never suffer from piles? Because when god created them he created the perfect arsehole.

Tiersal

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?"


"A Carrot!"