Height requirements in dating

kowloon · 16-06-2020 4:50am

Signed up for Bumble earlier, can't sleep so I've seen quite a few profiles. Interesting that height is one of a handful of stats with tags (as opposed to just writing the detail in the about me section). You can filter by height, but no other dimension or really anything physical. Given the app is designed with women's preferences in mind we can infer that height is pretty important.

Blush_01 · 18-06-2020 4:53pm

kowloon wrote: »

Signed up for Bumble earlier, can't sleep so I've seen quite a few profiles. Interesting that height is one of a handful of stats with tags (as opposed to just writing the detail in the about me section). You can filter by height, but no other dimension or really anything physical. Given the app is designed with women's preferences in mind we can infer that height is pretty important.

You mean there's no girth, length, or potency of farts metrics? Is it even a real app?

QuestionTime18 · 03-11-2020 11:20pm

A few good points made, women do care a lot about height, they tend to want tall men and not just an inch or two taller. They want men a good few inches taller, for whatever reason probably a reason they don’t even know themselves, but let’s agree it is not a “preference” it’s almost always a requirement, indeed any woman who’s insists that their requirement for tall men is a “preference” need to actually read a dictionary and try to understand what a preference is. Its annoying that there’s women out there who basically think high heels is there real height or something because they insist men should be taller then them because of high heels.

Also it’s puzzling why women on tinder put on their bios that at 5’4ft and 5’5ft they are small/ fun sized. I think they need to read up on average height of women in Ireland if they think those heights are small.

Lastly I seen a post about tall men it was full of comments from women saying how attractive tall men are and praising them. This post seems to just be mostly full of people taking the piss out of short men despite the op trying to be serious, not sure why people feel the need to make jokes about a serious topic.

Oh and OP, Elliott Rodgers was 5’9ft average height in America. His wasn’t his problem, he was just a crazy lad who couldn’t get a woman for whatever reason but him being 5’9ft wasn’t one of those reasons considering plenty of men at 5’9ft get women as it’s average height.

Idbatterim · 03-11-2020 11:50pm

SusieBlue wrote: »

Do you not think men also have their own criteria of superficial dealbreakers too? Do you have any idea how many men have ‘no fatties need apply’ in their bios?

It works both ways.

seriously, even if they dont want any fatties, what kind of idiot would put it in their bio? it would alienate a load of other women! the thing about height is, it cant be changed, where with weight, you may look at it and think, its just laziness or lack of effort, which is unattractive...

Id say 6 foot or 6'1 optimal height for a lad. because even girls that are like 5'10 or 11, many want to wear their heels and at least be the same height as lad, if not slightly shorter...

also this thing about women having all the choice! I speak to a lot of girls who date online, many **** dates, lads only often wanting one thing and usually only making that apparent, after they have got what they want... women also have the biological clock to consider if they want kids. I really dont think its quite as rosy as many here make out...

the maybe top ten to twenty percent of guys that women are attracted to, now also have massive choice on tinder! and as guys dont have the clock to worry about and generally have higher sex drives... well its obvious...

Mad_maxx · 03-11-2020 11:53pm

QuestionTime18 wrote: »

A few good points made, women do care a lot about height, they tend to want tall men and not just an inch or two taller. They want men a good few inches taller, for whatever reason probably a reason they don’t even know themselves, but let’s agree it is not a “preference” it’s almost always a requirement, indeed any woman who’s insists that their requirement for tall men is a “preference” need to actually read a dictionary and try to understand what a preference is. Its annoying that there’s women out there who basically think high heels is there real height or something because they insist men should be taller then them because of high heels.

Also it’s puzzling why women on tinder put on their bios that at 5’4ft and 5’5ft they are small/ fun sized. I think they need to read up on average height of women in Ireland if they think those heights are small.

Lastly I seen a post about tall men it was full of comments from women saying how attractive tall men are and praising them. This post seems to just be mostly full of people taking the piss out of short men despite the op trying to be serious, not sure why people feel the need to make jokes about a serious topic.

Oh and OP, Elliott Rodgers was 5’9ft average height in America. His wasn’t his problem, he was just a crazy lad who couldn’t get a woman for whatever reason but him being 5’9ft wasn’t one of those reasons considering plenty of men at 5’9ft get women as it’s average height.

im almost 6 ft 5 , its never been an asset in the slightest as im far too tall for most women , got turned down in my late teens and twenties numerous times over it

tall is good but not too tall either , anything taller than 6 ft 2 is too tall for most women

boardise · 04-11-2020 12:13am

QuestionTime18 wrote: »

A few good points made, women do care a lot about height, they tend to want tall men and not just an inch or two taller. They want men a good few inches taller, for whatever reason probably a reason they don’t even know themselves, but let’s agree it is not a “preference” it’s almost always a requirement, indeed any woman who’s insists that their requirement for tall men is a “preference” need to actually read a dictionary and try to understand what a preference is. Its annoying that there’s women out there who basically think high heels is there real height or something because they insist men should be taller then them because of high heels.

Also it’s puzzling why women on tinder put on their bios that at 5’4ft and 5’5ft they are small/ fun sized. I think they need to read up on average height of women in Ireland if they think those heights are small.

Lastly I seen a post about tall men it was full of comments from women saying how attractive tall men are and praising them. This post seems to just be mostly full of people taking the piss out of short men despite the op trying to be serious, not sure why people feel the need to make jokes about a serious topic.

Oh and OP, Elliott Rodgers was 5’9ft average height in America. His wasn’t his problem, he was just a crazy lad who couldn’t get a woman for whatever reason but him being 5’9ft wasn’t one of those reasons considering plenty of men at 5’9ft get women as it’s average height.

I seem to remember reading somewhere that there might be a primeval instinct at work in women -where they sense that a taller mate might be better fitted to protect them (and ,by extension,any kids in the family.)

chrissb8 · 04-11-2020 2:41am

Said this before and I'll say it again....if there are short men with short fathers. There are women who get with said short fathers. So yes, there are plenty of women who aren't too bothered about height.

I say this as a short a**e myself. Who hasn't really been too unlucky with women and would really put my previous issues down to confidence. Face value apps such as Tinder, Bumble etc. will only present yourself as a physical entity so a lot of women, if they are narrowed down in their tastes, go for men of tall height. This is not at all representative of the real world.

A lot of people have boiled down dating to dating apps and have drawn exclusively that women only go for men of height. No, they don't but in such a circumstance where they are judging you on looks alone, that will become a deciding factor.

QuestionTime18 · 04-11-2020 6:32am

Thing about short men is it’s not always down to having a short father or genetics, I recall reading about a lad up in Northern Ireland a few months back who suffered anorexia and because of not eating/not eating enough and being underweight he suffered stunted growth, he’s recovered now but he’s ended up at 5’5ft while his dad and mum are taller then him, women rejecting men over height/ not finding short men attractive has got to be particularly tough for him knowing he should be taller and probably not realising at the time that his height would end up stunted due to his disorder. That’s my main gripe with women rejecting short men, or indeed people making jokes/ slagging short men off, you just never know the real reason a man is short.

And in reply to the post about primitive reasons and women wanting protection / Hunter gatherers, I really struggle to understand why that would be still a thing since we don’t live in a dangerous country and these days it’s all about making money/ intelligence to make money to be able to buy food and a house, we no longer need to go hunting with spears and fight bears in hand to hand combat.

Wibbs · 04-11-2020 9:05am

QuestionTime18 wrote: »

And in reply to the post about primitive reasons and women wanting protection / Hunter gatherers, I really struggle to understand why that would be still a thing since we don’t live in a dangerous country and these days it’s all about making money/ intelligence to make money to be able to buy food and a house, we no longer need to go hunting with spears and fight bears in hand to hand combat.

Very true and a some of it is cultural(women's weight can be one depending on culture) but a helluva lot of the very basics of the things we find attractive in men and women are linked with social, biological and reproductive health and are pretty hard wired.

Wibbs · 04-11-2020 9:10am

Deleted User wrote: »

But I speak mostly of the "real" world here too - which is an important caveat. I am relatively ignorant about the workings of online dating. Where - due to the existence of actual set filters - preferences are likely to translate more into actuality because they will filter out the people who do not meet them and reduce the chances the "full package" will be considered. So if angry and disillusioned incels are going to go there - I admit they are much more likely to have their paranoia about single variables strongly realised.

+1000 Online dating is heavily skewed because of such filters and tends to favour women over men. In the sense of women will get more attention even if plain, but the type of attention is another thing. Ask any woman who has gone the online route and they'll likely tell you they get attention, but the kind they want is much rarer.

04-11-2020 9:59am

Mad_maxx wrote: »

im almost 6 ft 5 , its never been an asset in the slightest as im far too tall for most women , got turned down in my late teens and twenties numerous times over it

tall is good but not too tall either , anything taller than 6 ft 2 is too tall for most women

The problem is that most tall guys don't carry much in the way of muscle. I'm 6 ft 3 and it's only now in my 40's that I'm starting to gain weight, even weight on my arms/shoulders. Most guys I've met throughout the last few decades, of a similar height to myself, struggle to gain any obvious upper body strength (oh, we can be strong, but it's more of a lean strength rather than a muscle strength). I've known a few tall guys who have managed to get that strong look, but really, not many. (and it's very easy to lose that improvement, with strength turning to man boobs or other less attractive fatty areas)

And that's what women tend to appreciate. It's fine being tall. That is attractive to most women, but they also want a nice body to go with the overall package. This is especially true with online dating where photos are encouraged to show off appearance.

I've enjoyed being taller than most people. I don't consider myself to be very tall, but it's certainly helped, somewhat, for the initial attraction.. but at the same time, my slim frame isn't, even remotely sexy, so.. there's downsides too. (Yup, I've spent extensive time in Gyms seeking to beef up, but I've only ever managed to look wiry).

Mister Vain · 04-11-2020 11:14am

Deleted User wrote: »

The problem is that most tall guys don't carry much in the way of muscle. I'm 6 ft 3 and it's only now in my 40's that I'm starting to gain weight, even weight on my arms/shoulders. Most guys I've met throughout the last few decades, of a similar height to myself, struggle to gain any obvious upper body strength (oh, we can be strong, but it's more of a lean strength rather than a muscle strength). I've known a few tall guys who have managed to get that strong look, but really, not many. (and it's very easy to lose that improvement, with strength turning to man boobs or other less attractive fatty areas)

And that's what women tend to appreciate. It's fine being tall. That is attractive to most women, but they also want a nice body to go with the overall package. This is especially true with online dating where photos are encouraged to show off appearance.

I've enjoyed being taller than most people. I don't consider myself to be very tall, but it's certainly helped, somewhat, for the initial attraction.. but at the same time, my slim frame isn't, even remotely sexy, so.. there's downsides too. (Yup, I've spent extensive time in Gyms seeking to beef up, but I've only ever managed to look wiry).

I've had the same problem at 5'8 so its not just tall guys. Some people are just "hard gainers." My height never really bothered me too much but I hated being skinny, especially as I was killing myself in the gym and not really seeing any results. I eventually started to gain weight in my 30's though and am happy enough with my frame now at 37.

04-11-2020 2:03pm

Quick interjection... muscle does not turn to fat. That is all. Carry on.

Mad_maxx · 04-11-2020 7:06pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

I've had the same problem at 5'8 so its not just tall guys. Some people are just "hard gainers." My height never really bothered me too much but I hated being skinny, especially as I was killing myself in the gym and not really seeing any results. I eventually started to gain weight in my 30's though and am happy enough with my frame now at 37.

5ft 8 is only marginally below the average , its not short at all

Mister Vain · 04-11-2020 8:40pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

5ft 8 is only marginally below the average , its not short at all

Yeah its not short short I suppose. I was just making the point that its not only tall guys that find it difficult to gain muscle.

04-11-2020 9:52pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Yeah its not short short I suppose. I was just making the point that its not only tall guys that find it difficult to gain muscle.

I didn't intend to suggest that was the case... I was simply speaking of my own experience, and attaching it to another person who spoke about being tall.

DilD · 04-11-2020 10:02pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

im almost 6 ft 5 , its never been an asset in the slightest as im far too tall for most women , got turned down in my late teens and twenties numerous times over it

tall is good but not too tall either , anything taller than 6 ft 2 is too tall for most women

I'm 6'6", was always somewhat concious of my height growing up, felt TOO tall and never seemed to see any benefit in the way of attracting women. That was until I moved to the UK, which I thought was strange given the fact that with such a larger population from different parts of the world there was no shortage of tall men, but lo and behold turns out height is in fact a big factor for women. From my experience I think its down to a woman feeling somewhat embarrased being seen with a man shorther than her, not all women are like this of course though.

lukin · 08-12-2020 11:37am

There is one incredibly important reason why most women won't date short guys; reproductive reasons. They don't want to have short children. If they have a child with him and it's a girl it isn't such a big deal but if it's a boy it is a big deal and that is what they are worried about.
Maybe a young girl in her early twenties on the dating scene won't be thinking like that but I can assure you a girl in her late twenties or thirties will be.
If you ask them they will deny it but they would wouldn't they?
They are lying.

08-12-2020 11:59am

lukin wrote: »

There is one incredibly important reason why most women won't date short guys; reproductive reasons. They don't want to have short children. If they have a child with him and it's a girl it isn't such a big deal but if it's a boy it is a big deal and that is what they are worried about.
Maybe a young girl in her early twenties on the dating scene won't be thinking like that but I can assure you a girl in her late twenties or thirties will be.
If you ask them they will deny it but they would wouldn't they?
They are lying.

Why even ask a question you already know the answer. And, if they did lie it would likely be to protect others feelings.

partyguinness · 08-12-2020 12:11pm

lukin wrote: »

There is one incredibly important reason why most women won't date short guys; reproductive reasons. They don't want to have short children. If they have a child with him and it's a girl it isn't such a big deal but if it's a boy it is a big deal and that is what they are worried about.
Maybe a young girl in her early twenties on the dating scene won't be thinking like that but I can assure you a girl in her late twenties or thirties will be.
If you ask them they will deny it but they would wouldn't they?
They are lying.

No man. Way more simple than than.

Women want to wear high heels and do not want to tower over the groom on their wedding day. Makes them feel big and awkward.

ohnonotgmail · 08-12-2020 12:34pm

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

I don't mind any of the comments either (although it's not as if I found them entertaining), and I joke about it too. I'm happy enough being 6'5" and I wouldn't change it, but I think the ideal height would be about 6'2". You'd still be fairly tall but not a freak.

The main disadvantages are the reduced selection of clothes, especially footwear, and also banging yer head in doorways. With regards to females, I've nothing against tall women either, as they can be very impressive in stature, but most of my girlfriends have been around 5'4".

you're right, 6'2" is the ideal height for a man. and the "how is the weather up there" jokes never bothered but by jesus do short men get upset when you comment on their height.

lukin · 08-12-2020 12:40pm

partyguinness wrote: »

No man. Way more simple than than.

Women want to wear high heels and do not want to tower over the groom on their wedding day. Makes them feel big and awkward.

That is correct too. That's why if a guy is five foot 6 then it's only girls who are five feet four inches or lower will date him. Because if they are five foot 6 then in high heels they are taller than him. A five foot four inch girl will be just about level with him if she wears high heels.

Mad_maxx · 08-12-2020 12:50pm

lukin wrote: »

That is correct too. That's why if a guy is five foot 6 then it's only girls who are five feet four inches or lower will date him. Because if they are five foot 6 then in high heels they are taller than him. A five foot four inch girl will be just about level with him if she wears high heels.

most women are a lot closer to 5 ft 6 than 6 ft 6 , the average 6ft 6 guy wont be any more successful with women and when he is in this late teens and early twenties , will likely be far less so ,add to that there is no reason a 6ft 6 guy is more handsome or charming

most very tall guys dont earn a fortune playing in the NBA , its a disadvantage in most situations

Feisar · 08-12-2020 1:55pm

I'm a shade off 6'3'', I can't deny it was a plus when it came to dating. Especially online, it seemed to tick some magic box.

lukin · 08-12-2020 2:49pm

It's actually quite amazing how rare it is to see a short guy with a girl. I didn't notice it before but since I have made a mental note just to observe it while I am out and about in shops and public places it is very obvious.
I know since lockdown we can't go into pubs and clubs but even before that I noticed it; nearly every single guy who is with a girl is at least 5 foot 9 and usually closer to six feet.
Next time you are in your nearest town or city just take note of it, I guarantee you you will agree with me and say "Jeez I never noticed that before".

08-12-2020 2:56pm

lukin wrote: »

It's actually quite amazing how rare it is to see a short guy with a girl. I didn't notice it before but since I have made a mental note just to observe it while I am out and about in shops and public places it is very obvious.
I know since lockdown we can't go into pubs and clubs but even before that I noticed it; nearly every single guy who is with a girl is at least 5 foot 9 and usually closer to six feet.
Next time you are in your nearest town or city just take note of it, I guarantee you you will agree with me and say "Jeez I never noticed that before".

Unlikely to be true if you think about it. Or else 5' 9'' becomes the new short.

completedit · 08-12-2020 2:58pm

I'm 5'8'', I feel short and I do feel it is a bit of a hinderance. The thing is it feels like worse looking lads can get girls by virtue of their height and frame. The shorter you are, the better your face needs to be.

pgj2015 · 08-12-2020 3:00pm

lukin wrote: »

It's actually quite amazing how rare it is to see a short guy with a girl. I didn't notice it before but since I have made a mental note just to observe it while I am out and about in shops and public places it is very obvious.
I know since lockdown we can't go into pubs and clubs but even before that I noticed it; nearly every single guy who is with a girl is at least 5 foot 9 and usually closer to six feet.
Next time you are in your nearest town or city just take note of it, I guarantee you you will agree with me and say "Jeez I never noticed that before".

Women do go out with short guys but they just don't want to be seen in public with them.

Thelonious Monk · 08-12-2020 3:04pm

completedit wrote: »

I'm 5'8'', I feel short and I do feel it is a bit of a hinderance. The thing is it feels like worse looking lads can get girls by virtue of their height and frame. The shorter you are, the better your face needs to be.

Can you not just go for extra tiny women?

08-12-2020 3:11pm

Far away fields are greener.

I'm 6ft3ish and I wish i was shorter. More proportional, with a better spread of weight and muscle.

It's rare you'll meet guys who are tall and have much in the way of obvious muscle strength. I've always found that women (under 30) will be more attracted to guys with muscles than being tall/slim.

Height requirements in dating

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