Sex party, have you ever been?

Balanadan · 30-12-2018 7:34pm

I'm too busy getting laid to go to sex parties.

RobertKK · 30-12-2018 7:42pm

It's hard knowing what to wear at a sex party.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 30-12-2018 8:38pm

adam88 wrote: »

I’ve nevef heard of as many sex partiesxarranged over Xmas or planned for nye. Crazy stuff

Don't knock it until..

31-12-2018 12:14am

RobertKK wrote: »

It's hard knowing what to wear at a sex party.

I once went to one dressed as a premature ejaculation.....

I came in my underwear :pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 31-12-2018 2:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I once went to one dressed as a premature ejaculation.....

I came in my underwear :pac:

Welcome to the premature ejaculation help awareness hotline...

.... please hold...

Pintman Paddy Losty · 31-12-2018 3:08pm

One piece of advice when going to sex parties or visiting professional women is to only go based on solid recommendations.

Ended up back in a flat with a bird a couple of days ago. I was walking around the ilac centre and ended up with the horn of gondor on me looking at young ones going around in yoga pants. Got straight on the escort website and just picked the first one I saw. No due diligence done.

Terrible experience. She was Romanian or Bulgarian or something. Must have been well in to her late 30s. Definitely had a good few miles on the clock by the time I got to her. Head like a melted wellie. Thick troweled on make up and a cheap lipstick. Smell of Adidas sport perfume. Nearly turned on my heels but hadn't time to find another bird.

Tried chatting to her. Barely spoke English. Didn't find any of my jokes funny. Obviously went over her head. Normally I like to have a bit of a laugh with the birds I score but not this day. I just got down to business. Whipped off the wranglers and went to get started. She had a fanny like a hippos yawn. A hippo with a scraggly beard and questionable hygiene. Aroma that would curdle milk. Desperate stuff.

First time ever I backed out at that point. Made my apologies and left. Was in foul humour for the evening. So word of warning. Do your due diligence before attending sex parties or one on one no strings attached stuff.

AndrewJRenko · 31-12-2018 3:17pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

One piece of advice when going to sex parties or visiting professional women is to only go based on solid recommendations.

Ended up back in a flat with a bird a couple of days ago. I was walking around the ilac centre and ended up with the horn of gondor on me looking at young ones going around in yoga pants. Got straight on the escort website and just picked the first one I saw. No due diligence done.

Does 'due diligence' include making sure that you're not supporting sex trafficking?

Gimme A Pound · 31-12-2018 4:46pm

No I haven't. It's my idea of grim.

Fiftyfilthy · 31-12-2018 5:18pm

Met a woman on tinder last fri afternoon , never met prior

20 mins was riding her in the adult cinema on Dorset st

Really enjoyed the experience

Pac1Man · 31-12-2018 5:41pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

One piece of advice when going to sex parties or visiting professional women is to only go based on solid recommendations.

Pintman Paddy Losty had a walk around the shop,
He felt something growing and couldn't make it stop.
He made his way home and with his patience almost gone,
He dialled the wrong number and ended up with a hippo's yawn.

fullstop · 31-12-2018 6:47pm

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

Does 'due diligence' include making sure that you're not supporting sex trafficking?

No, it involves not believing made up stories on the internet

AndrewJRenko · 31-12-2018 8:25pm

fullstop wrote: »

No, it involves not believing made up stories on the internet

So you're saying that sex trafficking doesn't happen in Ireland?

Gimme A Pound · 31-12-2018 8:28pm

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

So you're saying that sex trafficking doesn't happen in Ireland?

"So you're saying" when they didn't say that at all.

Come on, Andy - looking for arguments can't be much fun. They're saying PPL's stories are made up.

grindle · 31-12-2018 8:32pm

Rene Raspy Hall wrote: »

They're saying PPL's stories are made up.

Ridiculous, they couldn't be. He's the realest real man I don't know.

AndrewJRenko · 01-01-2019 11:58am

Rene Raspy Hall wrote: »

Come on, Andy - looking for arguments can't be much fun. They're saying PPL's stories are made up.

That's a given, for sure. But people do use prostitutes, and some prostitutes are victims of sex trafficing.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 01-01-2019 4:26pm

No lies being told here compares.

ToddyDoody · 01-01-2019 4:33pm

I read that too much is being expected of sex nowadays. That it assumed a magical / numinous quality that was once the domain of religion. That a key to better sex is to remove the weight of this otherworldly element and put it back into some sort of a religious form, so that sex is no longer shattered under the weight of being an avenue to the numinous.

The things I read.

QuintusFabius · 01-01-2019 8:59pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

One piece of advice when going to sex parties or visiting professional women is to only go based on solid recommendations.

Ended up back in a flat with a bird a couple of days ago. I was walking around the ilac centre and ended up with the horn of gondor on me looking at young ones going around in yoga pants. Got straight on the escort website and just picked the first one I saw. No due diligence done.

Terrible experience. She was Romanian or Bulgarian or something. Must have been well in to her late 30s. Definitely had a good few miles on the clock by the time I got to her. Head like a melted wellie. Thick troweled on make up and a cheap lipstick. Smell of Adidas sport perfume. Nearly turned on my heels but hadn't time to find another bird.

Tried chatting to her. Barely spoke English. Didn't find any of my jokes funny. Obviously went over her head. Normally I like to have a bit of a laugh with the birds I score but not this day. I just got down to business. Whipped off the wranglers and went to get started. She had a fanny like a hippos yawn. A hippo with a scraggly beard and questionable hygiene. Aroma that would curdle milk. Desperate stuff.

First time ever I backed out at that point. Made my apologies and left. Was in foul humour for the evening. So word of warning. Do your due diligence before attending sex parties or one on one no strings attached stuff.

Good man Paddy, I'd say it looked like a dropped kebab on a barbershop floor ?
Must have put the love truncheon to sleep immediately.

Hector Savage · 15-01-2019 2:45pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

One piece of advice when going to sex parties or visiting professional women is to only go based on solid recommendations.

Ended up back in a flat with a bird a couple of days ago. I was walking around the ilac centre and ended up with the horn of gondor on me looking at young ones going around in yoga pants. Got straight on the escort website and just picked the first one I saw. No due diligence done.

Terrible experience. She was Romanian or Bulgarian or something. Must have been well in to her late 30s. Definitely had a good few miles on the clock by the time I got to her. Head like a melted wellie. Thick troweled on make up and a cheap lipstick. Smell of Adidas sport perfume. Nearly turned on my heels but hadn't time to find another bird.

Tried chatting to her. Barely spoke English. Didn't find any of my jokes funny. Obviously went over her head. Normally I like to have a bit of a laugh with the birds I score but not this day. I just got down to business. Whipped off the wranglers and went to get started. She had a fanny like a hippos yawn. A hippo with a scraggly beard and questionable hygiene. Aroma that would curdle milk. Desperate stuff.

First time ever I backed out at that point. Made my apologies and left. Was in foul humour for the evening. So word of warning. Do your due diligence before attending sex parties or one on one no strings attached stuff.

Just as well ya backed out there Paddy, bad odour could be a sign of an STI,
That fanny sounds like it's seen more pricks than a dartboard.

I hope you did enjoy the rest of Christmas/NY and made up for that disaster!

EmmetSpiceland · 06-07-2019 6:07pm

I’m posting this here as I didn’t think it warranted a thread of its own and it was the closest thread to the matter at hand.

So I was at a function in the rugby club the last weekend, my evening was cut short due to reasons explained in a post on another thread. Before I had to leave I was talking to a group of guys when this clown I know made his way over and started trying to convince us of joining in on his “little game”.

This sweaty creep, you know the type, about 5’6, bootcut jeans with black shoes, check shirt, and a face like a ventriloquist dummy, is trying to get numbers together for a “dog fight”.

For those of you not aware of what this is, as I wasn’t, it’s were a group of guys go out and actively find the ugliest/most unattractive girl they can find and bring her back to a “party” and the “winner” is the one who brings the least attentive girl, these girls are then judged by all of the guys there.

I should add that everyone puts €50 into the kitty and it’s winner takes all.

I immediately told the vile little toad where to go and that I knew what he was at, he just wanted a way to “pull” someone without getting any grief about his standards but, as I mentioned above, I had to make a swift exit due to some digestional issues stemming from a particularly oily “meat” pizza before I could gauge the reaction of any of the others.

I figured no one would buy into this twerp’s weird “pick up artist” type of trick to get a girl but I’m after just heard last night from a couple of lads who are “interested”, one of them is married but said he could use the money, apparently in excess of €500, to go towards spending money for a “holiday” he has planned with the boys.

I find the whole thing reprehensible, especially in this day and age, but it looks like it’s going ahead. The weasel organising it has already provisionally booked a place for the secret “judging” but these poor girls won’t have a clue of the real reason the guys have brought them there.

I’m also wondering what will happen if one of the unsuspecting participants twigs what sort of “party” they are attending.

Has anyone else heard of this sort of thing? Or, god forbid, attended one?

laoisgem · 06-07-2019 6:21pm

Thankfully never heard of this but its absolutely disgusting. I hope the Mickey falls off every guy joining in that sort of game!

freshpopcorn · 06-07-2019 6:34pm

Maybe not the same but I have heard of groups of men/women going out and going off with the most unattractive person they can find for a bet/dare.

Mister Vain · 06-07-2019 6:54pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Maybe not the same but I have heard of groups of men/women going out and going off with the most unattractive person they can find for a bet/dare.

Reminds me of the time a random girl walked up to me in a night club and shifted me as soon as I walked in the door. Although I think the dare was to shift the "first" guy that entered the club rather than the ugliest. Or at least I hope it was anyway. :pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 06-07-2019 6:57pm

Where's the guy who started a thread after being the only one invited to a friend's movie night to watch Brokeback Mountain...?

EmmetSpiceland · 06-07-2019 7:09pm

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Where's the guy who started a thread after being the only one invited to a friend's movie night to watch Brokeback Mountain...?

You’d have to imagine he must have “buttered” him up for that.

grindle · 06-07-2019 8:51pm

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Where's the guy who started a thread after being the only one invited to a friend's movie night to watch Brokeback Mountain...?

"Hey we're having a friend's night!"

"Oh really? Who's gonna be there?"

"You. And me in a goat mask. But don't ask. Just come over. We'll watch Breakback Mounthim"

Roger Hassenforder · 06-07-2019 9:17pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Maybe not the same but I have heard of groups of men/women going out and going off with the most unattractive person they can find for a bet/dare.

Hunt the hogget

Its a thing

Gael23 · 06-07-2019 9:19pm

James Bond Junior wrote: »

Loads of times, great craic. I was the only one there though.

This.

freshpopcorn · 06-07-2019 9:32pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Hunt the hogget

Its a thing

I never heard a person being reffered to as a hogget but other words that I won't type here!

AndrewJRenko · 06-07-2019 9:39pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Hunt the hogget

Its a thing

A thing with zero mentions across the entire Internet according to Google?

Roger Hassenforder · 06-07-2019 11:02pm

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

A thing with zero mentions across the entire Internet according to Google?

I reckon Mayo lads circa 1990 didnt have much of an internet presence, but I'm heartened you took time from your busy life to google it.

notsoyoungwan · 06-07-2019 11:49pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Hunt the hogget

Its a thing

AKA pull a pig, I believe.

Reprehensible behaviour.

kowloon · 07-07-2019 12:34am

Mister Vain wrote: »

Reminds me of the time a random girl walked up to me in a night club and shifted me as soon as I walked in the door. Although I think the dare was to shift the "first" guy that entered the club rather than the ugliest. Or at least I hope it was anyway. :pac:

I've just had a flashback from something a good few years back that makes a lot more sense now. I've realised I was the ugliest person in the room. :mad:

Ipso · 07-07-2019 1:25am

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

A thing with zero mentions across the entire Internet according to Google?

I reckon Mayo lads circa 1990 didnt have much of an internet presence, but I'm heartened you took time from your busy life to google it.

And we all know there are no male hogs in Mayo.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-07-2019 11:20am

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

I reckon Mayo lads circa 1990 didnt have much of an internet presence, but I'm heartened you took time from your busy life to google it.

I gave it a google myself, R, and after broadening my search parameters I was presented with “hog hunt”, not hard to see how “hunt the hogget” would be a colloquial variant.

I’m actually in a minor state of shock here, I thought all of these silly games were all in the heads of bored, lonely, teenagers. Things you’d hear about when you were younger but never actually believed anyone would ever do.

Acts such as “Strawberry Milkshake”, “Donkey Punch”, “Rainbow Kiss”, “The Angry Dragon”, “Bucking Bronco”, “Rainbow Party”, “The Dirty Sanchez”, “Spider Man”, “Pulling a Houdini”, or “Rainbow Party” used to be mere flights of perverted fancy that no one would ever actively “engage” in. Now, I’m doubting that.

Actually, I did read somewhere that “Screech” from the tv show Saved by the Bell did give someone a “Dirty Sanchez”, I believe it was her hen night. All very sordid.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 07-07-2019 12:11pm

Gael23 wrote: »

This.

No one came? :pac:

the beer revolu · 07-07-2019 12:17pm

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

No one came? :pac:

It was a tantric sex party!

Roger Hassenforder · 07-07-2019 1:10pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I gave it a google myself, R, and after broadening my search parameters I was presented with “hog hunt”, not hard to see how “hunt the hogget” would be a colloquial variant.

I’m actually in a minor state of shock here, I thought all of these silly games were all in the heads of bored, lonely, teenagers. Things you’d hear about when you were younger but never actually believed anyone would ever do.

Acts such as “Strawberry Milkshake”, “Donkey Punch”, “Rainbow Kiss”, “The Angry Dragon”, “Bucking Bronco”, “Rainbow Party”, “The Dirty Sanchez”, “Spider Man”, “Pulling a Houdini”, or “Rainbow Party” used to be mere flights of perverted fancy that no one would ever actively “engage” in. Now, I’m doubting that.

Actually, I did read somewhere that “Screech” from the tv show Saved by the Bell did give someone a “Dirty Sanchez”, I believe it was her hen night. All very sordid.

Jesus wept
I've a bit of googling to do...

JohnnyFlash · 07-07-2019 1:22pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I gave it a google myself, R, and after broadening my search parameters I was presented with “hog hunt”, not hard to see how “hunt the hogget” would be a colloquial variant.

I’m actually in a minor state of shock here, I thought all of these silly games were all in the heads of bored, lonely, teenagers. Things you’d hear about when you were younger but never actually believed anyone would ever do.

Acts such as “Strawberry Milkshake”, “Donkey Punch”, “Rainbow Kiss”, “The Angry Dragon”, “Bucking Bronco”, “Rainbow Party”, “The Dirty Sanchez”, “Spider Man”, “Pulling a Houdini”, or “Rainbow Party” used to be mere flights of perverted fancy that no one would ever actively “engage” in. Now, I’m doubting that.

Actually, I did read somewhere that “Screech” from the tv show Saved by the Bell did give someone a “Dirty Sanchez”, I believe it was her hen night. All very sordid.

I wonder if a ‘one eyed angry pirate’ has ever actually been carried out?

Exclamation Marc · 07-07-2019 1:32pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I gave it a google myself, R, and after broadening my search parameters I was presented with “hog hunt”, not hard to see how “hunt the hogget” would be a colloquial variant.

I’m actually in a minor state of shock here, I thought all of these silly games were all in the heads of bored, lonely, teenagers. Things you’d hear about when you were younger but never actually believed anyone would ever do.

Acts such as “Strawberry Milkshake”, “Donkey Punch”, “Rainbow Kiss”, “The Angry Dragon”, “Bucking Bronco”, “Rainbow Party”, “The Dirty Sanchez”, “Spider Man”, “Pulling a Houdini”, or “Rainbow Party” used to be mere flights of perverted fancy that no one would ever actively “engage” in. Now, I’m doubting that.

Actually, I did read somewhere that “Screech” from the tv show Saved by the Bell did give someone a “Dirty Sanchez”, I believe it was her hen night. All very sordid.

Incognito search was clearly designed with this kind of searching in mind

Fanny Wank · 07-07-2019 1:36pm

Slovakian Traffic Cone

mr.anonymous · 07-07-2019 1:38pm

Exclamation Marc wrote: »

Incognito search was clearly designed with this kind of searching in mind

I'm not sure what annoys me more. The violent elements of some of those, or that they forgot the Cleveland Steamer.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-07-2019 1:46pm

mr.anonymous wrote: »

I'm not sure what annoys me more. The violent elements of some of those, or that they forgot the Cleveland Steamer.

Ah yes, the “Cleveland Steamer”, apologies for forgetting that. Or the “Bluffkin”, which I learned about on this very site.

And, please, don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning any of these “acts”. They are just an example of the types of “juvenile” things I remember hearing when I was younger. I never really believed any of them ever actually occurred but now with “Dog Fights” and “Hunting Hogs” actually taking place I have my doubts.

Also, I would consider a “Cleveland Steamer” a violent act. Even though so physical beating has occurred it’s a form of “dirty” violence.

JohnnyFlash · 07-07-2019 1:49pm

I caught up with an old friend of mine at the Irish Open. We went on the lash with a few of his mates, and they had some proper stories about their ‘golfing holidays’ in Portugal. 35 of them flew to Portugal in Mid May. All lads ages from 45 to 60. Some of them didn’t ever bother play a round of golf over there. It was a week of cocaine, booze, and having sex orgies with Eastern European hookers. Very sordid tales of excess and debauchery. Then back home to Ireland to the wife and kids like nothing ever happened.

JohnnyFlash · 07-07-2019 1:51pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Ah yes, the “Cleveland Steamer”, apologies for forgetting that. Or the “Bluffkin”, which I learned about on this very site.

And, please, don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning any of these “acts”. They are just an example of the types of “juvenile” things I remember hearing when I was younger. I never really believed any of them ever actually occurred but now with “Dog Fights” and “Hunting Hogs” actually taking place I have my doubts.

Also, I would consider a “Cleveland Steamer” a violent act. Even though so physical beating has occurred it’s a form of “dirty” violence.

How’s a bluffkin different than a blumpkin?

EmmetSpiceland · 07-07-2019 1:54pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I wonder if a ‘one eyed angry pirate’ has ever actually been carried out?

To be honest, J, at this stage, I wouldn’t be surprised. If “Screech” can drag a “stinky” finger across under someone’s nose who’s to say what else he, or others, have done!

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

How’s a bluffkin different than a blumpkin?

Apologies, showing my ignorance once again, I meant “Blumpkin”. Thanks for pointing that out.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-07-2019 3:36pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I caught up with an old friend of mine at the Irish Open. We went on the lash with a few of his mates, and they had some proper stories about their ‘golfing holidays’ in Portugal. 35 of them flew to Portugal in Mid May. All lads ages from 45 to 60. Some of them didn’t ever bother play a round of golf over there. It was a week of cocaine, booze, and having sex orgies with Eastern European hookers. Very sordid tales of excess and debauchery. Then back home to Ireland to the wife and kids like nothing ever happened.

To be honest with you, J, I never really had too much issues with guys heading to the Algarve or Spain for a “golfing” trip.

What’s always bothered me is the, usually older, lads going to Thailand or, even, The Philippines under the same “guise” of golfing. It’s painfully obvious. Especially if they head somewhere near a US army base, considering “everything” that comes with that.

It’s just sad. Sad and disturbing.

Roger Hassenforder · 07-07-2019 4:48pm

mr.anonymous wrote: »

I'm not sure what annoys me more. The violent elements of some of those, or that they forgot the Cleveland Steamer.

Imagine how embarrassing it would be, if asked for a Cleveland Steamer, but instead you delivered a Cleveland steamboat.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-07-2019 5:02pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Imagine how embarrassing it would be, if asked for a Cleveland Steamer, but instead you delivered a Cleveland steamboat.

What happens with a “Cleveland Steamboat”, R?

Roger Hassenforder · 07-07-2019 8:04pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

What happens with a “Cleveland Steamboat”, R?

*blushes*

Theres a trail of gentleman's relish involved.
Apparently.

Sex party, have you ever been?

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