Sex party, have you ever been?

demanufactured

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Ya, no problem at all there mate. Always like to return the favour, specially if she has been getting to know me todger. No problem noshing away like a pig at a trough. Chicks seem to like my technique.

Hope you ain’t gettin off on this stuff pal??? You asking a lot of questions.

Not at all man... Just shows that us Bro's know how to treat a lady.

sbsquarepants

asteroids over berlin wrote: »

Once dated a smoking hot Swedish girl....her private part was as hairy as spongebobs hair, i must admit to being taken aback, still to this day, the shock soon turned into an erotic thing for quite a while, felt more caveman like ha. Life is truly a rollercoaster.

Both myself and that other spongebob fella, are quite streamlined up top.

You must have us mixed up with someone else. Chewbaca maybe, or that big fella from monsters inc?:D

harry Bailey esq

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Dya mind me asking what the fūck an AVB is?

Athletic virile bastard. Goes by the unassuming name of Gus. Insists on wearing only the finest handmade sheaths, lovingly handcrafted in Milan by brioni using baby panda leather. Works in a credit union or a bank if memory serves me correctly.

gerrybbadd

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Ya, no problem at all there mate. Always like to return the favour, specially if she has been getting to know me todger. No problem noshing away like a pig at a trough. Chicks seem to like my technique.

Hope you ain’t gettin off on this stuff pal??? You asking a lot of questions.

C'mon Johnny, spill the beans on this technique you use when you'd be down growling at the badger.

I'd say you do leave them frothing and begging for a dose of length that would bate a pack of starving dogs out of a butchers

JohnnyFlash

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Do you do the alphabet or something more sophisticated like spelling out the ingredients of toothpaste?

Huh?

Never heard of techniques like that. Usually just go with the flow and try and find the devil’s doorbell pretty quickly. Then focus on that. Heard some chicks like you to stick a finger up the tradesman’s entrance while you’re doing that, but haven’t given it a go yet.

A few minutes of that and I’ve a love truncheon on me that you could bate a donkey out of a ditch with. :cool:

Boom_Bap

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Huh?

Never heard of techniques like that. Usually just go with the flow and try and find the devil’s doorbell pretty quickly. Then focus on that. Heard some chicks like you to stick a finger up the tradesman’s entrance while you’re doing that, but haven’t given it a go yet.

A few minutes of that and I’ve a love truncheon on me that you could bate a donkey out of a ditch with. :cool:

You 'write' the letters with your tongue to avoid repetitive technique.

Do you take a finger up the sheriffs star yourself?

xzanti

Good to have ya back Flutt :pac:

JohnnyFlash

Boom_Bap wrote: »

You 'write' the letters with your tongue to avoid repetitive technique.

Do you take a finger up the sheriffs star yourself?

Yip, no problems with a finger up the balloon knot. Wouldn’t be into pegging or anything like that though..... let’s just say I’m not a fan of changing lanes without using me indicator...

demanufactured

Sure the wimmin love an auld finger up the chocolate starfish while their bean is being circled like a Boeing 747 coming unto land in lanzarote.

gerrybbadd

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Yip, no problems with a finger up the balloon knot. Wouldn’t be into pegging or anything like that though..... let’s just say I’m not a fan of changing lanes without using me indicator...

Johnny, I thought you'd be too much man to take an aul digit in the prison purse.

I can see now that you are a man that takes as well as gives though. Fair play, i'd say you've laid more pipe than the council

texas star

Does anyone remember Columbia Mills I think euthuipa the sex shop ran a club once a month maybe years ago and you had to wear leather or pvc to get in.Some weird sights at that club.Went once not my thing it was more for gay men and anything went....

Katgurl

For a few glorious years in my early 30's when I was post-crappy relationship and not looking to be in another one I was having an absolute ball out dating up a storm. It is the perfect age to be single as you can date men in their 20's, 30's and 40's. You also have a confidence at that age you don't have in your early 20's so I found myself being asked out on a very regular basis, totally randomly when I was out buying gym gear or giving directions or whatever.

I came across a couple like Johnny and crude as he is coming across in his posts men like him (coming out of a sex-starved marriage) are an absolute joy to get into bed with. Good times...

I doubt he will want this lifestyle forever but f**k it he's single, not old yet, fit and having a good time. Not sure why he's getting all the attitude thrown at him.

Paddy is a different breed though.

pilly

Katgurl wrote: »

For a few glorious years in my early 30's when I was post-crappy relationship and not looking to be in another one I was having an absolute ball out dating up a storm. It is the perfect age to be single as you can date men in their 20's, 30's and 40's. You also have a confidence at that age you don't have in your early 20's so I found myself being asked out on a very regular basis, totally randomly when I was out buying gym gear or giving directions or whatever.

I came across a couple like Johnny and crude as he is coming across in his posts men like him (coming out of a sex-starved marriage) are an absolute joy to get into bed with. Good times...

I doubt he will want this lifestyle forever but f**k it he's single, not old yet, fit and having a good time. Not sure why he's getting all the attitude thrown at him.

Paddy is a different breed though.

Ah we haven't seen a photo yet to know if he's fit Kat.

Anyway, who's giving him attitude?

demanufactured

pilly wrote: »

Ah we haven't seen a photo yet to know if he's fit Kat.

Anyway, who's giving him attitude?

And we're all getting great entertainment out of it... Hearing of his sexploits is a great craic.

Katgurl

texas star wrote: »

Does anyone remember Columbia Mills I think euthuipa the sex shop ran a club once a month maybe years ago and you had to wear leather or pvc to get in.Some weird sights at that club.Went once not my thing it was more for gay men and anything went....

Yes that's coming back to me now...

Pintman Paddy Losty

Katgurl wrote: »

For a few glorious years in my early 30's when I was post-crappy relationship and not looking to be in another one I was having an absolute ball out dating up a storm. It is the perfect age to be single as you can date men in their 20's, 30's and 40's. You also have a confidence at that age you don't have in your early 20's so I found myself being asked out on a very regular basis, totally randomly when I was out buying gym gear or giving directions or whatever.

I came across a couple like Johnny and crude as he is coming across in his posts men like him (coming out of a sex-starved marriage) are an absolute joy to get into bed with. Good times...

I doubt he will want this lifestyle forever but f**k it he's single, not old yet, fit and having a good time. Not sure why he's getting all the attitude thrown at him.

Paddy is a different breed though.

Too right I'm a different animal! Very few men would match my prowess in the sack. Birds puffing, panting and red-faced after a pounding from the pintman. That's what has them coming back for more throughout the week.

Katgurl

pilly wrote: »

Ah we haven't seen a photo yet to know if he's fit Kat.

Anyway, who's giving him attitude?

Well even if he's not fit he is clearly a bit of filthy animal and when that's what you're in the humour for...

pilly

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Too right I'm a different animal! Very few men would match my prowess in the sack. Birds puffing, panting and red-faced after a pounding from the pintman. That's what has them coming back for more throughout the week.

No, that's the money Paddy hun.

Samuel T. Cogley

Katgurl wrote: »

For a few glorious years in my early 30's when I was post-crappy relationship and not looking to be in another one I was having an absolute ball out dating up a storm. It is the perfect age to be single as you can date men in their 20's, 30's and 40's. You also have a confidence at that age you don't have in your early 20's so I found myself being asked out on a very regular basis, totally randomly when I was out buying gym gear or giving directions or whatever.

I came across a couple like Johnny and crude as he is coming across in his posts men like him (coming out of a sex-starved marriage) are an absolute joy to get into bed with. Good times...

I doubt he will want this lifestyle forever but f**k it he's single, not old yet, fit and having a good time. Not sure why he's getting all the attitude thrown at him.

Paddy is a different breed though.

Sounds like a few came across you too :pac:

demanufactured

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Sounds like a few came across you too :pac:

They had a love explosion.

JohnnyFlash

Katgurl wrote: »

Well even if he's not fit he is clearly a bit of filthy animal and when that's what you're in the humour for...

Speaking my language missus! Just enjoying a new found vigor for life. Nothing like heading out for a few pints, pulling some bird, and heading back for a bit of take old one eye to the optometrist..... :pac:

Up the next morning, maybe one more rattle, mug of tea, and out the door. People overthink ridin’ these days.

magentis

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Yip, no problems with a finger up the balloon knot. Wouldn’t be into pegging or anything like that though..... let’s just say I’m not a fan of changing lanes without using me indicator...

Nah.A finger in the tea-towel holder just wouldn't be my thing.

Pintman Paddy Losty

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Speaking my language missus! Just enjoying a new found vigor for life. Nothing like heading out for a few pints, pulling some bird, and heading back for a bit of take old one eye to the optometrist..... :pac:

Up the next morning, maybe one more rattle, mug of tea, and out the door. People overthink ridin’ these days.

How are ya managing to pick up the young ones in town? I hope you're dressing your age Johnny. Nothing worse than some aul egit wearing tight shiny shirts, ripped jeans and pointy boots.

Rootsblower

Finger in tha Cadbury’s cul de sac wont by my cup of tea either, however ,fair play Johnny if your dippin the wick sometimes ya have to pay for the oil!

Katgurl

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Sounds like a few came across you too :pac:

Not too many no. I never saw the attraction of getting into bed with somene for a lukewarm experience / attraction but as I said I did separately date two men in their mid 40's, just out of unhappy marriages... There were fireworks.


Mind you for all those fun nights I had ten million boring waste of time dates so am glad I have moved on now.

Brendan Bendar

Katgurl wrote: »

Yes that's coming back to me now...

Katgurl wrote: »

Not too many no. I never saw the attraction of getting into bed with somene for a lukewarm experience / attraction but as I said I did separately date two men in their mid 40's, just out of unhappy marriages... There were fireworks.


Mind you for all those fun nights I had ten million boring waste of time dates so am glad I have moved on now.

Hung like a hippo calf were they?

Roger Hassenforder

Katgurl wrote: »

I came across a couple like Johnny and crude as he is coming across in his posts men like him (coming out of a sex-starved marriage) are an absolute joy to get into bed with. Good times...

I doubt he will want this lifestyle forever but f**k it he's single, not old yet, fit and having a good time. Not sure why he's getting all the attitude thrown at him.

Paddy is a different breed though.

In fairness to Paddy, he strikes me as a bit more sophisticated. By all accounts he seems to have the stamina of a 17 yr old Zulu... Go all night for you. Give him 5mins, a towel down , a glass of chilled Pinot G and a fag, and hes off again. The auld dolls would be well and truly drilled like an aquifer under a fracking rig. Johnny more a Jamacian sprinter to him, couple of very strong runs but a longer recoverytime.

Johnny is a bit young bull "lets run down this and fcuk the best looking ones". Paddy, more of a "lets walk down and fcuk them all".

Johnny would no doubt give them a right good seeing to, driving them into the headboard face first. More pure power, gutteral, edgy and thrilling, an M3 E36. Paddy a comfortable, stately and safe ride, more 520, but always a top drawer performance, consistently well reviewed by customers. Johnny the tempo of the the middle piston of a Honda Insight. Paddy, with the rhythm and stroke rate of a metronome.

TBH, if i was a burd, im not sure which one id prefer. Is one for the longer drive? A Mozart.
The other for frivolous weekend spins with the top down, scarf billowing in the breeze, Puccini.

harry Bailey esq

gerrybbadd wrote: »

C'mon Johnny, spill the beans on this technique you use

Johnny doesn't spill the beans, he blows the beans.

dr.fuzzenstein

Oh, this calls for a sexy party!

demanufactured

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Johnny doesn't spill the beans, he blows the beans.

He leaves a hot gloopy mess all over them.