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Nice turn of phrase you've heard

124678

Comments

  • #152
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    cold as a witch's tit


  • #153
    Blaizes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Blaizes


    Richard Branson
    ‘ Screw it, let’s do it.’


  • #154
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.

    Be good. And if you're not good, be good at it.


  • #155
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Fanny like a dropped lasagne.

    (Remember the Thunderdome?)


  • #156
    dinky earnshaw
    Registered Users Posts: 207 ✭✭dinky earnshaw


    I'm so hungry I'd ate the mickey off a werewolf.


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  • #157
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    Rather be looking at it, than looking for it



    Words of wisdom of a friend of mine stocking up beer for good Fridays past.
    Applicable for anything though :)


  • #158
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    A older worker, not unkindly, said to me years ago when I was rushing to finish a job:

    'Dont sell your labour so cheap'


  • #159
    Thepillowman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 244 ✭✭Thepillowman


    He's a gable end short of a bungalow
    As useful as a back pocket on a shirt
    Like throwing a crowbar into a warehouse
    If laziness was an Olympic sport he'd come fourth so he wouldn't have to get up on the podium


  • #160
    Plopsu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    The crow is bigger than the cock.


  • #161
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    "He's like an asses cock- he's big when he's out"


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  • #162
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,690 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    I'd hit him so hard he would be done for speeding in Drogheda

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #163
    DrPhilG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    A friend of my aunt was having a drunken row with her husband. He was being a big mouth and boasting about his great achievements (he has none).

    His wife replied "if your cock was as big as your mouth then you'd have something to boast about"...

    Ouch


  • #164
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    Heard one on gogglebox earlier about a guy that was a bit mad. One of the people on the couch said
    I don't think that lift goes all the way to the top.


  • #165
    DrPhilG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    jimbobaloobob wrote: »
    Heard one on gogglebox earlier about a guy that was a bit mad. One of the people on the couch said
    I don't think that lift goes all the way to the top.

    Not all of his dogs are barking.

    He needs a check up from the neck up.


  • #166
    everlast75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,154 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    DrPhilG wrote: »
    Not all of his dogs are barking.

    He needs a check up from the neck up.

    He's a coke short of a happy meal..


  • #167
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    When you fall into a bunch of nettles, you don’t look for the one that stung ya.


    aka: not sure who the dad is.


  • #168
    Mehaffey1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,617 ✭✭✭Mehaffey1


    He/She needs armbands on when they eat soup


  • #169
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    My grandfather on spoiling his grandkids: "I'd rather give gifts with warm hands than cold hands"


  • #170
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,708 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Oh they’re the cut and peal of their ould fella.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #171
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,708 ✭✭✭Feisar


    She put a horn on me that’d bait a bad ass out of a sand pit.

    First they came for the socialists...



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  • #172
    CPTM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭CPTM


    Mehaffey1 wrote: »
    He/She needs armbands on when they eat soup

    What's this one about?!


  • #173
    Fitz*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,079 ✭✭✭✭Fitz*


    A rolling sausage gathers no gravy.


  • #174
    Mehaffey1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,617 ✭✭✭Mehaffey1


    CPTM wrote: »
    What's this one about?!

    I took it to mean they were useless, could be clumsy aswell


  • #175
    Woodsie1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 949 ✭✭✭Woodsie1


    "Fierce lazy wind today,goes through ya,wont go round ya!"


  • #176
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    How's your Ma, is your Da workin'?


  • #177
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,095 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    My father in law was telling us about a "mink or a badger" that came into his kitchen and started eating the cat's food. I was always taken by the contrast between the violence of his actions and the soft language he used to describe them.

    FIL: He started eating the cat's food. So I went looking for a stick to beat him with.
    Wife: Why did you want to beat it?
    FIL: To kill it, I suppose.
    Wife: But why were you trying to kill it?
    FIL: Sure, you'd do all right without a fella like that coming in.


  • #178
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    "She's fond of the fella that runs with the hens" - she's a slapper.


  • #179
    Zadkiel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 687 ✭✭✭Zadkiel


    My Nana had a good one for people short on banter, " he's so dry he'd fart flour".

    Always thought that was great.

    One of the funniest ones I ever heard was in one of the 'Overheard in Dublin' threads. A young one saw a good looking chap and said something like
    "jaysis he's massive me box is tryin to eat me leg"


  • #180
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    Always arrive at the party with one arm longer than the other...

    Meaning don't turn up with out a bottle or food or something perishable

    Same but switched - "Don't turn up with one arm as long as the other"


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  • #181
    DavyD_83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭DavyD_83


    He/she could eat an apple through a letterbox


  • #182
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    ScoobyDosent wrote: »
    "He'd crawl 5 miles on his hands and knees over broken glass to sniff the wheels of the van that brought her knickers to the dry cleaners ."

    I like when speaking of an attractive lady - like Natalie Portman : - "I would crawl through broken glass and barbed wire - just to suck the cock of the last guy that f*cked her"


  • #183
    A Knight of Ireland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 148 ✭✭A Knight of Ireland


    "Only dead fish go with the flow"


  • #184
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    My grandad used to say when he was starving

    "I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse and chase the jockey"

    And the less PC

    "I'm so hungry I'd eat a childs arse through a chair"


  • #185
    CPTM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭CPTM


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    My grandad used to say when he was starving

    "I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse and chase the jockey"

    Haha, that's a good one


  • #186
    DrPhilG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    "I'm so hungry I'd eat a childs arse through a chair"

    "I could eat the head off a scabby wain" is the version around here.


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  • #187
    3rdDegree
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,263 ✭✭✭3rdDegree


    From Tipperary (I think): "I'm broke to the jaws of Jaysus". Meaning "I have absolutely no money whatsoever".

    Tipp is gas, isn't it?


  • #188
    magic_murph
    Registered Users Posts: 1,525 ✭✭✭magic_murph


    _blaaz wrote: »
    You'd see more meat on a tinkers stick after a fight



    Reference to a very thin person

    You'd see more meat on good Friday (reference to a skinny person)


  • #189
    magic_murph
    Registered Users Posts: 1,525 ✭✭✭magic_murph


    DrPhilG wrote: »
    "I could eat the head off a scabby wain" is the version around here.

    I'd eat the crotch of a low flying duck.


  • #190
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    "She'd put a horn on ya that would bring order to a Wicklow GAA match"

    Think that was from a Ross O carrol kelly book ...


  • #191
    DrPhilG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    Cracker I've never heard before until it featured on Derry Girls...

    "That woman has a smell off her that would turn an Orange march"


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  • #192
    trashcan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭trashcan


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    "She'd put a horn on ya that would bring order to a Wicklow GAA match"

    Think that was from a Ross O carrol kelly book ...

    The one I remember from Ross was "I had a baton on me that would put manners on a reclaim the streets march"


  • #193
    storker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,688 ✭✭✭storker


    One of my dad's...

    "There's great freedom in having no choice."


  • #194
    Neames
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 953 ✭✭✭Neames


    In response to someone saying the early bird gets the worm....

    It's always the second mouse gets the cheese.


  • #195
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »
    He’d turn up for the opening of an envelope.

    (A politician or other worthy who goes to lots of events).

    Good One!:D:)


  • #196
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    He/she would talk sh1te for Ireland!!


  • #197
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    Feisar wrote: »
    She put a horn on me that’d bait a bad ass out of a sand pit.

    Something similar:

    She'd give a horn to a snowman!


  • #198
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    adgib wrote: »
    To someone wearing cheap perfume or aftershave, you smell like the inside of a whores handbag

    If it was said to me, my reply would be "How do you know what the inside of a whore's handbag smells like??"


  • #199
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    About someone who's known to be light-fingered:

    She/he would steal the milk from your tea!


  • #200
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I work at a deli and while making up a wrap for someone this week they told me I have more questions for them than the guards... made me laugh :)


  • #201
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,339 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    I have a mouth on me like Ghandi's flip-flop!

    (I'm parched)


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