Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

Boards.ie: Niamh · 18-06-2018 4:29pm #1

Our next guest and his wife are both swingers. He is here to answer questions and maybe dispel some myths and inaccuracies about the lifestyle it involves.

Tom Mann Centuria · 18-06-2018 4:31pm

Do you worry about STDs.

0ph0rce0 · 18-06-2018 4:40pm

Do you ever get jealous when your man with the huge hammer walks in and destroys your wife in front of you. I mean absolutely demolishes her.

pc7 · 18-06-2018 4:41pm

Do you meet other couples more than once if you guys click?

Sabre0001 · 18-06-2018 4:46pm

How did you/ye initially discover an interest in swinging and how was the topic first broached?

What kinds of ground rules do ye have in place?

I imagine you'd have to be quite secure in yourself, your body, and your relationship; how do you keep any rising insecurities at bay?

brevity · 18-06-2018 4:49pm

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

Do you ever get jealous when your man with the huge hammer walks in and destroys your wife in front of you. I mean absolutely demolishes her.

JeffKenna · 18-06-2018 4:51pm

Are you both attractive?

Asus X540L · 18-06-2018 4:53pm

Is back door action common at these swingers' gatherings?

Catlady76 · 18-06-2018 5:07pm

What initially got you into it, where you both interested from the start or did one of you persuade the other one?
If you have kids so they know that you are swingers or if they are children will you tell them when they grow up?

I don't see the attraction of it myself, do you still feel like you are in a faithful relationship or does you feel it helps your partnership.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 5:16pm

Hello,

Just had a quick look at the questions, some really good ones so far.

I have been a user of Boards for nearly 15 years. I am a huge fan of AMA. I wanted to try and give a more Positive Impression of the lifestyle because its gotten some negative press in the last year or so. This in my opinion is from the more extreme members of the sites that we use and I just wanted to show people its really not like that for most people.

I hope I can achieve that and I hope you can appreciate what its done for our relationship. Perhaps even encourage some users on here who might want to persue it, to go for it.

Remember, nothing we do is illegal and personally its not immorral if you are both honest with each other.

Thanks,
Munson
Not my real name btw

Conservatory · 18-06-2018 5:19pm

What’s your favourite song from the jungle book soundtrack?

Conservatory · 18-06-2018 5:31pm

Have you ever had nutters that get a bit stalky outside of swinging nights.
For example approaching you down the pub or turning up at work?

Westernyelp · 18-06-2018 6:25pm

Is it usually dedicated clubs or private houses that ye attend?

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:28pm

Tom Mann Centuria wrote: »

Do you worry about STDs.

No. We havent really talked about it, we havent been with that many people between us. Probably a little naive on our part but I would think in the near future we should both have tests done.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:32pm

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

Do you ever get jealous when your man with the huge hammer walks in and destroys your wife in front of you. I mean absolutely demolishes her.

Thankfully I dont but been honest, thats the hot thing seeing your wife getting destroyed in front of you is a good thing.

I don't have Penis envy either far more important things to concern you with the lifestyle.

TheChizler · 18-06-2018 6:34pm

Do you prefer parties or to organise your own events? Do you get involved in the community much? Or is there one decent enough to speak of here.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:36pm

pc7 wrote: »

Do you meet other couples more than once if you guys click?

Couples are very difficult, getting 4 people to be compatible is extremely hard, one of the four wont be attracted to someone, it can be a pain. Our first swap with a couple was a disaster, we should not have swapped.

We were new and naive and felt we had to go through with it, neither of us were attracted to them and we had too much to drink, sadly this is a common story.

Some couples can be totally compatible that they can become exclusive to each other, thats not something we would want to do.

bucketybuck · 18-06-2018 6:38pm

How will you feel when your partner goes off and gets some action without involving you at all?

pc7 · 18-06-2018 6:40pm

So is it more threesomes you take part in? Is it easier to find a male extra or female?

helimachoptor · 18-06-2018 6:41pm

Assuming you arent bi, have you ever grabbed/sucked/given/received just in the heat of the moment?

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:44pm

Sabre0001 wrote: »

How did you/ye initially discover an interest in swinging and how was the topic first broached?

What kinds of ground rules do ye have in place?

I imagine you'd have to be quite secure in yourself, your body, and your relationship; how do you keep any rising insecurities at bay?

I always liked the idea of her being with another man, I found it really hot. I liked the idea of looking at her as she was having sex and say going down on me, I mentioned it as a fantasy during sex a few times and it just went from there. It was probably over a long time though.

We had an absolute ton of rules when we started, however, they soon got broken. We have pretty much only one rule now that we stick by. Some couples have zero rules and do what they want. Our rule would be that we cant just go off on one another and do something, like if my wife went to the loo at a party and came back and i was getting a BJ or something that would not be cool.

At the beginning there was lots of insecurity and jealousy but eventually you get to the stage and you realize its just fun and you learn to completely trust each other in the lifestyle. Honesty is very important. I was never the jealous type, my wife would have been a little bit more than me.

Blaas4life · 18-06-2018 6:46pm

How often do you go to swingers party's??

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:48pm

JeffKenna wrote: »

Are you both attractive?

My wife is very hot, not just saying that but she is, pretty much always the hottest lady at anything, certainly for her age. She dresses very well and looks after herself. She looks 30ish but we are both in our early 40s. Shes also great fun and has an amazing sense of humour.

I would consider myself attractive, I am not vain but I am carrying a few pounds but hold it well. I would say better looking than most men my age at any of the events.

The men definitely have it better than the women.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 6:49pm

Asus X540L wrote: »

Is back door action common at these swingers' gatherings?

Its not that common, it does happen but certainly not with us.

We keep that as something special for our relationship. I wouldnt want any one doing that with herself and likewise.

Galwayguy35 · 18-06-2018 6:55pm

Would there be different age groups at the parties or mostly couples around the same age?

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 7:18pm

Catlady76 wrote: »

What initially got you into it, where you both interested from the start or did one of you persuade the other one?
If you have kids so they know that you are swingers or if they are children will you tell them when they grow up?

I don't see the attraction of it myself, do you still feel like you are in a faithful relationship or does you feel it helps your partnership.

I always wanted a mmf with herself, I found the idea of it a real turn on. I definitely drove it. We suffered a serious life event and decided. **** this, lets do something wild and it went from there. Now, I know we are both on the same page and equally comfortable with it.

Our kids are still young enough, I don't think I would mind them knowing when they are adults but I wouldn't want them knowing right now.

It has most definitely magnified the bond between us, the trust that we have gained has been unbelievable. We have always been close but since this adventure its been amazing.

That might be different if we were both going off shagging without the other being present.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 7:24pm

Conservatory wrote: »

Have you ever had nutters that get a bit stalky outside of swinging nights.
For example approaching you down the pub or turning up at work?

Thankfully no but there is some absolute scum and some complete creeps. We have had one or two incidents initially that were in bad taste. We were a little innocent and naive and thought it was a completely safe environment but you need to be careful. Thankfully, nothing since as we learned the hard way. Some men thinks its acceptable to randomly grope woman just because they are at a sex party.

I do know a couple of single ladies that have had potential stalkers, most single girls usually partner up because of this and rightly so.

We have not met too many people from regular life so far but I would wary of them if it was a single lad.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 7:30pm

Westernyelp wrote: »

Is it usually dedicated clubs or private houses that ye attend?

This is the fun part. We mainly enjoy the social side, going to social events, meeting lots of new people, chatting to them having great crack and generally a few drinks. Absolutely no pressure to do anything and essentially just drink's in a pub with like minded people. I would advise this as the first thing to try for someone looking to step into the world. We have met lots of people that we actually consider friends at this stage. its awesome that way.

There's 3 clubs currently in the country that I know of, the one we go to is usually great but like anything can be hit and miss.

House Parties can also be hit and miss but we mainly go them to meet people. Sometimes they can descend into a full blown orgy.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 7:42pm

TheChizler wrote: »

Do you prefer parties or to organise your own events? Do you get involved in the community much? Or is there one decent enough to speak of here.

We are well known and involved in the community and would like to think well liked by most people. We do organize our own events every few months but they are just social Meet and Greets were people can get together have a few drinks and maybe find some one that interests them.

There is definitely a big community and its really growing fast. The amount of new people we have met this year is great. I mean just socially as well.

When people realize that its so much more than random sex they really love it. Theres great sense of friendship. Lots of people dont even do much or play as its called. They just enjoy the social side. We are a little like that.

SSr0 · 18-06-2018 7:43pm

How do you organise these Meet & Greets?

18-06-2018 7:45pm

If a, erm, ahem, you know.. friend.. was interested in this.. where do you even start?

Blaas4life · 18-06-2018 7:47pm

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Lots of people dont even do much or play as its called. They just enjoy the social side. We are a little like that.

Would there be much peer pressure (for want of a better word) to partake/would lurkers be excluded from parties etc after a while

OU812 · 18-06-2018 7:52pm

Have you ever met someone you know from “real life” at one of them? If so how close were you to them, what happened and are you still close?

Gonad · 18-06-2018 7:52pm

Munson , as in Roy Munson ?

Are you still at the bowling ?

khaldrogo · 18-06-2018 7:53pm

I have no idea how any man could he comfortable with his wife having sex with another man let alone watching it happen...not to even mention the whole cuckold thing!!!!!...each to their own.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 8:44pm

bucketybuck wrote: »

How will you feel when your partner goes off and gets some action without involving you at all?

It doesnt happen like that for us, for others it does. We generally do things together, I wouldnt mind her going off for a little bit of fun and then me joining up with her.

We tried the meeting people on our own, both of us did it and we didnt really like it.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 8:50pm

pc7 wrote: »

So is it more threesomes you take part in? Is it easier to find a male extra or female?

Its mainly threesomes but we dont do much play, we find it difficult to find people that interest us.

Theres a huge amount of single guys on the site we use and most are time wasters or not capable of doing what you need them to do.

Theres also not that many attractive single guys, a lot are single for a reason. The other ones are mainly just a big cock and they think thats all thats required.

Single girls are actually easier to come by but you need to make an effort to build a relationship with them. A lot of couples join up looking for a girl to join them and are quite arrogant about it and dont realize how difficult it is. They expect a queue of ladies ready to join them and its just not like that, thats the great thing about it, it gives a lot of power to women in my opinion.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 8:54pm

helimachoptor wrote: »

Assuming you arent bi, have you ever grabbed/sucked/given/received just in the heat of the moment?

Not Bi, though there are plenty out there who say they are straight and are not straight. I would rather be honest.

Havent had the pleasure of accidentally sucking a cock yet:cool:

Obviously you need to be comfortable around another cock when having some fun especially group fun. Your bound to have some sort of body contact but thankfully I am completely comfortable with my sexuality not to get freaked by touching of someones leg.

secman · 18-06-2018 8:58pm

What do you reckon is missing in your marriage that you do not fulfil each other's need.

helimachoptor · 18-06-2018 9:01pm

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Not Bi, though there are plenty out there who say they are straight and are not straight. I would rather be honest.

Havent had the pleasure of accidentally sucking a cock yet:cool:

Obviously you need to be comfortable around another cock when having some fun especially group fun. Your bound to have some sort of body contact but thankfully I am completely comfortable with my sexuality not to get freaked by touching of someones leg.

So no lightsabre fights

:pac:

Great AMA !

howamidifferent · 18-06-2018 9:03pm

Dad, what time will you be home?

Gloomtastic! · 18-06-2018 9:10pm

Another brilliant AMA, thanks for doing this.

AMA’s have been going on here for a few years now, what was the deciding factor to finally put yourself forward?

Is the car keys in the bowl a myth or reality?

cosanostra · 18-06-2018 9:13pm

Does it worry you that your wife might make a strong bond and end up falling in love with someone and you end up getting cast aside?

18-06-2018 9:18pm

Obviously you're very open here in the AMA, naturally.

Who have you told outside of your marriage about this lifestyle and who would you really not want to know about it?

In the spirit of AMA- (and just some good fun considering the topic) some quick fire Q's:

1. What are the do's don't's about swingers parties?

2. What sort of food/drink is served at such a party?

3. If the party say's 8pm arrival, is it polite to arrive at 8.20pm or should you arrive on the dot of 8?

4. If you host a swinger's party, what sort of things are expected? i.e. beds, linen, rooms done out a certain way, finger food, crisps, peanuts, nibbles (titter)

5. How can you tell someone is overstaying their welcome at a swingers party?

6. Have you met people who attended a swingers party outside of the setting unexpectedly?

7. Going back 20 years, my old boss (female) wore an ankle bracelet- I heard that that was a sign she was a swinger- is that true?

8. Is an open plan house or a series of smaller rooms the best for hosting a swingers party?

9. Is there any typical profile of a swinger? i.e. career, income level, etc

10. Do swingers tend to drink or be sober throughout a swinger party?

That's all for the moment :P

irishgirl19 · 18-06-2018 9:30pm

Soooo Is the whole thing about leaving the keys in the bowl a myth?

Whats the general age group?

Is there a lot of drugs at these parties?

Is it a mix of attractive/unattractive? I imagine it in my head as a group of unattractive people (no offence) don't know why.

18-06-2018 9:36pm

And just a few more that i've thought of since :P

1. Where does everyone leave their clothes throughout the party?

2. Any thefts reported i.e. mobile phones, wallets etc? Do you phone the Guards and say, "hey, I was at this swinger's party, naked, and someone stole my wallet from the hall"?

3. You say there are 3 clubs in Ireland that you know of. What are the membership benefits? Are they subject to GDPR data protection?

4. Is the AGM of those clubs held naked or clothed?

5. What's the annual membership fee? Is it tax deductible?

18-06-2018 9:44pm

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

most are time wasters or not capable of doing what you need them to do.

Can you elaborate on the 'not capable of doing' part? Curiousity

qwerty ui op · 18-06-2018 9:59pm

If you meet and get to know an attractive couple in everyday life, I'd imagine you would have some idea as to how well they'd be suited to this lifestyle.
Supposing you's were all getting on really well is there a possibility something could happen?

or has anything happened outside the scene with another guy? I mean with you also being there

chuck eastwood · 18-06-2018 10:20pm

Excellent AMA. The scene has become far more open in the last five years with the publicity given by a British company running some events over here. It seems that far more are now open to it than ever before. Considering Ireland is a smaller community in every sense of the word do you think it will ever get to a point where every county or larger city will have a dedicated venue like the UK
Also do you think the paid events are more inclined to offer a safer environment to those who are new to the scene

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 10:39pm

Blaas4life wrote: »

How often do you go to swingers party's??

Only been to about 5 parties, they can be hit and miss. We have been to the English event a few times, expensive but worth it. It was the one in the Sunday World.

We do socialize most weeks though, meet new people etc.

I'm a swinger, AMA · 18-06-2018 10:42pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Would there be different age groups at the parties or mostly couples around the same age?

At the clubs theres all sorts from every age and body type. We have helped organise parties but only with the guest list so we know who to ask but we have gone to one or two that we didnt know and have had a very mixed type of people.

Like I said we have only been to an actual handful of house parties.

Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

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