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Is it okay for your partner to masturbate to porn to sleep?

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    #212
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    I want a blumbkin now


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    #213
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    silverfeather wrote: »
    Hi corinthian. :P
    No, not me and this can be confirmed by any mod. As difficult as it may be for you to believe, I'm not the only one who thinks that being self-centered in a relationship is not a good thing.


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    #214
    silverfeather
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,154 ✭✭✭silverfeather


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    No, not me and this can be confirmed by any mod. As difficult as it may be for you to believe, I'm not the only one who thinks that being self-centered in a relationship is not a good thing.

    I believe you. :)


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    #215
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    silverfeather wrote: »
    I believe you. :)
    That would be that all-knowing empathy of yours talking.


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    #216
    silverfeather
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,154 ✭✭✭silverfeather


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    That would be that all-knowing empathy of yours talking.

    I am blooming psychic I tell you!


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    #217
    Chloris
    Closed Accounts Posts: 535 ✭✭✭Chloris


    Cold War Kid wrote:
    Not sure how that relates in any way to feeling forced into doing stuff you don't want to do. If anything, it seems like they just do what they're happy doing.
    But you really do have to be open-minded. If your partner is in to something and you're not, surely you'll do it anyway (to whatever extent you're comfortable) so that they feel sexually fulfilled? Like, I'm lucky because I'm not crazy about being violently sodomised, and it's not something my boyfriend is into. But if I was with somebody who was, I'd certainly do something about it, even if it's not my thing.

    I like the Viking look at the moment, so my boyfriend is willing to let me put black eye liner and face paint on him to get my kicks, even though he's the type of lad who REFUSES to put on makeup in any other context. I think he knows it makes him look f-ckin outstanding whilst copulating though.
    Cold War Kid wrote:
    I definitely don't think men or women should feel compelled to do stuff they're not comfortable doing - bizarre suggestion IMO.
    Try anything twice, that's my rule anyway. You might be surprised at how much you like something one you lose your inhibitions.


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    #218
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    I
    I don't really fancy taking the bins out, should I stop?

    The problem with a simplistic cliche like one should no feel compelled to do stuff they're not comfortable doing is that without defining what is reasonably so, it can mean doing nothing that puts you out at all would qualify. Your way or the highway.

    Sounds like a justification for selfishness in relationships. Good luck with that.

    Taking the bins out is something that benefits both partners, and presumably is something you'd do even if you were single.

    That's different to "Yay, she's performing sexual acts she doesn't want to, because of a thinly veiled threat that I'd be justified in leaving her or having an affair if she doesn't! I'm enjoying this sex with her that she's not into, and all signs here point to a healthy relationship!"

    You could throw the words reasonable and selfish in the other direction like.


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    #219
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,045 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Chloris wrote: »
    I like the Viking look at the moment, so my boyfriend is willing to let me put black eye liner and face paint on him to get my kicks, even though he's the type of lad who REFUSES to put on makeup in any other context. I think he knows it makes him look f-ckin outstanding whilst copulating though.

    Vikings copulating, ohh baby. :pac:


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    #220
    Roquentin
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,130 ✭✭✭Roquentin


    Cold War Kid wrote: »
    Again, I don't think anyone sees a problem with him viewing porn featuring hot women. And really, I don't know how anyone could have been interpreted as saying it would be preferable if he watched porn featuring "ugly" women? :confused:

    i think the poster means fetish sex involved fluids or fecal matter


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    #221
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Felix Chubby Pennant wrote: »
    Taking the bins out is something that benefits both partners, and presumably is something you'd do even if you were single.
    So what? The advice given did not make that distinction.
    That's different to "Yay, she's performing sexual acts she doesn't want to, because of a thinly veiled threat that I'd be justified in leaving her or having an affair if she doesn't! I'm enjoying this sex with her that she's not into, and all signs here point to a healthy relationship!"

    You could throw the words reasonable and selfish in the other direction like.
    Indeed, but I never suggested that, which is why I and others mentioned compromise. Can I take it from your response that you reject the concept of compromise in relationships or that you were just introducing a straw man into the discussion?


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    #222
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    So what? The advice given did not make that distinction.

    Nor did you, and yet it was the example you picked. Can I take it from that that it's not that you don't understand the distinction between the two things but rather that you were just sneakily trying to equate not feeling like having sex with trying to get out of the housework?
    Indeed, but I never suggested that, which is why I and others mentioned compromise. Can I take it from your response that you reject the concept of compromise in relationships or that you were just introducing a straw man into the discussion?


    Then what are you suggesting? You're criticising people not engaging in sexual acts they don't want to engage in on the basis that it's selfish, indicative of a lack of willingness to compromise, and actually not compatible with being in a relationship it's so self-centred. I'm correcting the one-sidedness of that reading of the situation and stating what that results in, partners going "Yay, I get to have the sex my partner doesn't want to have with me, yay for compromise!"

    That's what you can take from my post. Misread it again if you want and I'll see if I can dumb it down further.


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    #223
    ifritzero
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭ifritzero


    she probably thought it was ok to do when she didn't want sex , now she wants sex and finds it bad :)


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    #224
    acuriouscat
    Registered Users Posts: 122 ✭✭acuriouscat


    No it's not normal,.very weird!!!


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    #225
    fatknacker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭fatknacker


    That's a pretty sh1tty thing to do while your partner is lying beside you. Fairly disrespectful.
    No problem with looking at porn in relationships but this is ott.


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    #226
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Felix Chubby Pennant wrote: »
    Nor did you, and yet it was the example you picked. Can I take it from that that it's not that you don't understand the distinction between the two things but rather that you were just sneakily trying to equate not feeling like having sex with trying to get out of the housework?
    No, I was sneakily pointing out that such vague advice can be use to rationalize any egocentric behaviour. That's why I used such an example.

    After all, if someone in a relationship should not compromise on sex, why should they compromise on anything else? Because you've decided that this only applies to sex? Guess again.

    This does not mean that one should make every compromise and agree to every demand, but the advice that was given never said that: it was a dogmatic 'no'. Full stop. And that is realistically also unsustainable in any relationship.
    That's what you can take from my post. Misread it again if you want and I'll see if I can dumb it down further.
    I suggest you expend more effort not misreading posts yourself.


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    #227
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    fatknacker wrote: »
    That's a pretty sh1tty thing to do while your partner is lying beside you. Fairly disrespectful.
    No problem with looking at porn in relationships but this is ott.
    Setting aside the bizarre question of why it would be disrespectful in the first place, or how masturbating without porn would be less so...

    So the OP's boyfriend is using masturbation to help himself get to sleep, which probably means he needs to do so in the place where he will sleep. It's masturbation because the OP is not in the mood. What do you suggest?


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    #228
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    Thread derailed. Wow, the thinly veiled insults and aspersions simply for difference of opinion. If someone posts a point in a polite manner, it really really shouldn't be difficult to respond in kind.
    Chloris wrote: »
    I'm not crazy about being violently sodomised, and it's not something my boyfriend is into. But if I was with somebody who was, I'd certainly do something about it, even if it's not my thing.
    Sure you would. Interesting and revealing thanks to it.


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    #229
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    Cold War Kid wrote: »
    Sure you would. Interesting and revealing thanks to it.


    That's bat shit crazy no matter what way you try to twist it. If she wasn't up for being violently sodomised by her partner, she'd do it to make him happy as not complying would make her selfish?


    Ehhh...:eek:


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    #230
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    TheBeardedLady wrote: »
    That's bat shit crazy no matter what way you try to twist it. If she wasn't up for being violently sodomised by her partner, she'd do it to make him happy as not complying would make her selfish?


    Ehhh...:eek:
    Guess you're not willing to compromise. Oh well, look forward to being single (you stupid woman).


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    #231
    Chloris
    Closed Accounts Posts: 535 ✭✭✭Chloris


    TheBeardedLady wrote:
    That's bat **** crazy no matter what way you try to twist it. If she wasn't up for being violently sodomised by her partner, she'd do it to make him happy as not complying would make her selfish?
    Never ever trying it would be way more selfish. You'll never know what you'll like until you've tried it.


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    #232
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I knew I'd regret reading this thread, but still I did. :(

    Violent sodomy should be a sort of pre-martial test of the ability to compromise. First the gents, then the ladies. First one with an anal prolapse wins. It's all the rage among the enlightened.


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    #233
    eternal
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    Thread's gone crazy and the OP has done a runner.


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    #234
    Chloris
    Closed Accounts Posts: 535 ✭✭✭Chloris


    Candie wrote:
    Violent sodomy should be a sort of pre-martial test of the ability to compromise. First the gents, then the ladies. First one with an anal prolapse wins. It's all the rage among the enlightened.
    Haha, that's exactly my issue with it. But you try telling some people.


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    #235
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    Chloris wrote: »
    Never ever trying it would be way more selfish. You'll never know what you'll like until you've tried it.


    You're taking the piss. :)


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    #236
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Chloris wrote: »
    Never ever trying it would be way more selfish. You'll never know what you'll like until you've tried it.

    Isn't asking your partner to allow themselves to be violently (and painfully) sodomised the action of a selfish person?


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    #237
    Dyr
    Registered Users Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    I'm trying to imagine an episode of the waltons ending like this scenario

    "night john boy"

    "hhnnnggfff."


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    #238
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    Next thing we'll be talking about getting a vajankle.


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    #239
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    myshirt wrote: »
    Next thing we'll be talking about getting a vajankle.

    I want to google that, but am afraid. :(


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    #240
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    Candie wrote: »
    I want to google that, but am afraid. :(

    Probably one best left until you've a weekend off to recover from the ensuing shock at what's now out there in this world.


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    #241
    eternal
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    Polynesian Navigator wrote: »
    Taking the bins out is something that can make people uncomfortable. If it is someone's opinion that you shouldn't do something that makes you uncomfortable then you shouldn't take out the bins if it makes you uncomfortable According get to that person.

    Nothing worse than taking the bins out when the bags are laden and heavy.


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