Haven't touched a drop in...

GerB40 · 22-12-2014 08:25AM

So it's Monday, 7:10 in the morning on the 22nd of December and I've been to the pub three nights out of the last four. And my head is clear as crystal...

The first night I went out was quiet enough, which I knew it would be, but I looked at it as kind of a dress rehearsal for what was to come. I went into the pub around 7ish and left just before 11. I won't lie, it felt fúcking amazing walking home in the same state I walked to the pub in.

The second night was Saturday and I was only there from half 8 till 10. I was okay at first but one of my friends (who all seem to have nothing but admiration for me, which I really didn't expect but am very happy about) decided to buy a round of hot whiskys. That was too much.. The pints and the odd quare shot like tequila or jägermeister didn't bother me, I had my reliable mi-wadi and the temptation just wasn't that bad. But at the mention of a hot whisky I started getting the shakes and my heart was going 90. If I was gonna relapse that night it was gonna be with hot whiskys.. I made my excuses and left.

Last night was what I was working up to. Two of my friends were back from Australia and, after the last two nights, I was genuinely more excited than nervous about hittin the old waterin hole.. I went over at around 5, met one of the lads and had great craic with him, all the while alternating between tea and mi-wadi. At around half 10 my other friend arrived (wearing fúcking chinos... Jesus Australia what did you do to him???). By this stage the band were blarin out brilliant music, the whole place was hopping and I just had to leave. I spoke to him a bit, he took down my number, promised to meet up today when it's a bit quieter and I left. Last night was tough because with a few drinks down me it would be my idea of heaven. I didn't drink and it certainly didn't feel heavenly to me but right now I feel brilliant. I'm able to fight temptation by just leaving when it gets too much, a complete turn around from the last few years..

I suppose my next step is to learn how to cope with being comfortable around drunk people. Ideally I'd like to be able to chat with girls while being sober but the old adage "learn to walk before you run" comes to mind:) but I'll carry on regardless..

So that's that. I think I needed to write that down for myself to read more than anything else. And if I never see mi-wadi again it'll be too soon... Slán abhaile agus Nollaig shone do gach duine anseo. (My attempt at wishing everybody here a happy Christmas as géailge). Stay safe folks, and stay strong.. And sorry for the long post, I had to share my happiness with like minded people

enoughalready · 22-12-2014 10:20AM

Fair play GerB40 - no better feeling! I'd say there are a lot of sore heads this morning and many people suffering from 'the fear', hiding away from the world, whilst we are doing are damnest to embrace all life has to offer.

iusedtoknow · 22-12-2014 05:03PM

Well done,

The temptation can creep up on when you least suspect - at least you beat it!

I often try and avoid the triggers, but sometimes it isn't possible and you just need to beat the temptation using what you have

Abcxyz12345 · 22-12-2014 10:33PM

Well done to all. It's great hearing your experiences. I'm still sober - over 2 months now. Trying hard to keep life simple

The emotions are still a roller coaster at times. I'm not sure if this is just 'life' & living in an un-anethistised way? Or if it's just early recovery? I've always had unhealthy ways of coping with the negative emotions in life & I did anything to get away from them... Until those ways of coping didn't work. It's all new I suppose

I know for sure tho that no matter how difficult/upsetting/frustrating things are, they will not be in any way better if I take a drink

enoughalready · 23-12-2014 05:17PM

Fair play to you Abcxyz12345 ~ I remember at the start of my sober journey, my emotions were so raw and all over the place, I think it happens to anyone who undertakes this massive lifestyle change so it is relatively normal. I remember feeling so very vulnerable and exposed without my usual crutch. I'm glad to say as the months go on it gets much easier. Best of luck on your journey.

marienbad · 23-12-2014 09:33PM

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Well done to all. It's great hearing your experiences. I'm still sober - over 2 months now. Trying hard to keep life simple

The emotions are still a roller coaster at times. I'm not sure if this is just 'life' & living in an un-anethistised way? Or if it's just early recovery? I've always had unhealthy ways of coping with the negative emotions in life & I did anything to get away from them... Until those ways of coping didn't work. It's all new I suppose

I know for sure tho that no matter how difficult/upsetting/frustrating things are, they will not be in any way better if I take a drink

Well done Abcxyz12345 - over two months is just a brilliant achievement , just keep on going a day at a time and as you say keep it simple ( my mantra for years ) .

We will all be here over the Christmas if you want to vent or just chat.

Have a great Christmas - it looks like this is your time, so grab hold and hang on come what may.

Marienbad

marienbad · 24-12-2014 07:05AM

Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year my fellow voyagers on this journey of sobriety and lets keep in touch and enjoy these few days the best that we can .

Abcxyz12345 · 24-12-2014 08:05PM

Thank you so much enoughalready. It's really great to hear that - reassuring!

enoughalready wrote: »

Fair play to you Abcxyz12345 ~ I remember at the start of my sober journey, my emotions were so raw and all over the place, I think it happens to anyone who undertakes this massive lifestyle change so it is relatively normal. I remember feeling so very vulnerable and exposed without my usual crutch. I'm glad to say as the months go on it gets much easier. Best of luck on your journey.

Abcxyz12345 · 24-12-2014 08:08PM

Thank you so much Marienbad. I remember that last week of my drinking - feeling so low, confused & unwell really & posting on this thread. Your replies to my msgs were so encouraging & helpful x

marienbad wrote: »

Well done Abcxyz12345 - over two months is just a brilliant achievement , just keep on going a day at a time and as you say keep it simple ( my mantra for years ) .

We will all be here over the Christmas if you want to vent or just chat.

Have a great Christmas - it looks like this is your time, so grab hold and hang on come what may.

Marienbad

marienbad · 24-12-2014 08:29PM

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Thank you so much Marienbad. I remember that last week of my drinking - feeling so low, confused & unwell really & posting on this thread. Your replies to my msgs were so encouraging & helpful x

I remember it too Abcxyz12345, your posts seemed so full of pain my heart went out to you .I remembered my own not too dissimilar early days and realized yet once more how fortunate I was .

So if I helped you - you also helped me and by all of us helping each other we can get along bit by bit on this journey or ours.

keep it simple Mon'Amie and a day at a time and we will get there

GerB40 · 24-12-2014 08:49PM

marienbad wrote: »

I remember it too Abcxyz12345, your posts seemed so full of pain my heart went out to you .I remembered my own not too dissimilar early days and realized yet once more how fortunate I was .

So if I helped you - you also helped me and by all of us helping each other we can get along bit by bit on this journey or ours.

keep it simple Mon'Amie and a day at a time and we will get there

I love this thread and the people on it... And for a change, I can't blame the drink for this outburst

Abcxyz12345 · 24-12-2014 09:40PM

marienbad wrote: »

I remember it too Abcxyz12345, your posts seemed so full of pain my heart went out to you .I remembered my own not too dissimilar early days and realized yet once more how fortunate I was .

So if I helped you - you also helped me and by all of us helping each other we can get along bit by bit on this journey or ours.

keep it simple Mon'Amie and a day at a time and we will get there

I was so broken & so unwell. While days now can be tough they are nothing like that last week of my drinking.

You did really help me & genuinely I'll always be so grateful to you x

I'm not even sure if your user name is like your 'real life' name but once or twice I've heard someone say their name is Marian in the rooms & I did wonder haha!

This thread & it's contributors has had a huge impact on me & my recovery - thank you x

Abcxyz12345 · 24-12-2014 09:43PM

GerB40 wrote: »

I love this thread and the people on it... And for a change, I can't blame the drink for this outburst

Haha, I'm watching Scrooged on tv now & I feel like following that with a 'God bless us, every one'!

GerB40 · 24-12-2014 09:46PM

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

I was so broken & so unwell. While days now can be tough they are nothing like that last week of my drinking.

You did really help me & genuinely I'll always be so grateful to you x

I'm not even sure if your user name is like your 'real life' name but once or twice I've heard someone say their name is Marian in the rooms & I did wonder haha!

This thread & it's contributors has had a huge impact on me & my recovery - thank you x

I can honestly say the same. I know this might sound a bit too sentimental but this thread really helped me start to get my life back together.. I won't pinpoint any one contributer for fear of forgetting others who have helped but this thread as a whole has been literally life changing..

marienbad · 24-12-2014 10:15PM

GerB40 wrote: »

I can honestly say the same. I know this might sound a bit too sentimental but this thread really helped me start to get my life back together.. I won't pinpoint any one contributer for fear of forgetting others who have helped but this thread as a whole has been literally life changing..

How times have changed ! I remember thumbing country roads at night just to get a meeting . Things were really tough in the olden days

'yeah right ' as my kids say

MaggotBrain · 28-12-2014 11:37AM

3 days. Went to a house party last night and drank so much tea I couldn't get a wink of sleep after! Still, in the door before midnight, clearheaded and able. Happier wife this mornin, first Sunday this year I haven't had a hangover...

Amazingfun · 29-12-2014 08:08PM

Had another beautiful sober Christmas and just back after the holidays

Good to see so many doing well but I am wondering how some of the silent/lurkers are doing?

No matter what's happening...it's a new day and a chance to choose a different road.

GerB40 · 30-12-2014 12:04AM

Amazingfun wrote: »

Had another beautiful sober Christmas and just back after the holidays Good to see so many doing well but I am wondering how some of the silent/lurkers are doing?

No matter what's happening...it's a new day and a chance to choose a different road.

It was my first sober xmas in 12 years and it's been the best one yet. I went out a couple of times to meet some of my friends a hadn't seen in a while, some I hadn't seen in years (feckin Australia) which was nice. And I can remember everything!! I know I'll probably never have the fun I used to when I was full to the gills with drink but I suppose it's time I grew up a bit.

Anyway, new years eve should be interesting. Usually I'd leave before 12 because everyone was so twisted but doing that kinda defeats the purpose of new years eve doesn't it?? Regardless, I'll see how it goes but on the whole, I'm pretty sure I can chalk this xmas down as a success. I hope more folks here have had a similar festive season and I wish ye all the best..

marty_crane · 30-12-2014 12:25AM

Hi folks,

(Seriously) long time lurker on this forum but on this thread particularly (I don't know how many times I've read it start to finish) so if you would indulge me a minute I'd like to ask a question (first things first, I'm just in from work and stone cold sober right now). Come new year's day I intend, as a new year's resolution, to "give up the drink". Like another thread in this forum points out it's typical of this country that I have to disguise my reasons as such but it is actually my intention to give up alcohol full time. I honestly don't believe AA is for me but I have reached a stage where I'm in agreement with other posters here that you can't do it alone-I know, I've tried.

So my question is this, should I start a dedicated thread to "This year for new year..." or join those who's views I trust-those who post here.

I ask this question honestly as I'm in a catch 22. If I add a new thread am I cheapening what this forum is about or if I join this thread will I be seen to be doing it for (apparently) "gimmicky" reasons?

I have the height of respect for the honesty of all posters shown here and I'd like to become involved but I would not take any offence whatsoever if even one person harboured reservations about my motives.

I can only state that I'm 100% genuine in my reasons for posting here right now.

Thanks for reading

GerB40 · 30-12-2014 12:51AM

marty_crane wrote: »

Hi folks,

(Seriously) long time lurker on this forum but on this thread particularly (I don't know how many times I've read it start to finish) so if you would indulge me a minute I'd like to ask a question (first things first, I'm just in from work and stone cold sober right now). Come new year's day I intend, as a new year's resolution, to "give up the drink". Like another thread in this forum points out it's typical of this country that I have to disguise my reasons as such but it is actually my intention to give up alcohol full time. I honestly don't believe AA is for me but I have reached a stage where I'm in agreement with other posters here that you can't do it alone-I know, I've tried.

So my question is this, should I start a dedicated thread to "This year for new year..." or join those who's views I trust-those who post here.

I ask this question honestly as I'm in a catch 22. If I add a new thread am I cheapening what this forum is about or if I join this thread will I be seen to be doing it for (apparently) "gimmicky" reasons?

I have the height of respect for the honesty of all posters shown here and I'd like to become involved but I would not take any offence whatsoever if even one person harboured reservations about my motives.

I can only state that I'm 100% genuine in my reasons for posting here right now.

Thanks for reading

In my opinion you should feel free to start a new thread if you want. Especially seeing as lots of people intend to stop drinking as a new years resolution, a thread dedicated to those very people would be a great place to vent, ask for advice, even give advice. There's very smart, helpful people on this forum so help will always be given. So I say go for it. Best of luck marty_crane, and keep us updated. We're all on the same boat here....

Amazingfun · 30-12-2014 12:54AM

I'd say do what you feel is good for you-so start yer own thread if that's what you'd like. I'm sure we'll all wander over

As for AA....yer welcome to attend a few open meetings and see what you think? No pressure to speak or anything like that so never worry about having to make yourself known (unless you want to of course).

These days there is other options around-might they appeal? Lifering/Aware/ etc?

As I am sure you know I am an AA member (a very grateful one at that!) but I always promote AA as a "last house on the block" type of option based on my own experience and that of more than a few others I've observed over the years. Others here may have different views.

No matter which road you choose I wish you the first of many sober years starting 2015. It's a brilliant way of life once we've accepted the party with alcohol is over. Understanding why that had to be was key to my accepting I could never safely drink alcohol again and now a new life has unfolded-one without constant shame/regret/humiliation and panic over the thought of what I may have done in my latest blackout *shudder*.

Happy New Year

Sunnyisland · 30-12-2014 08:46AM

Amazingfun wrote: »

I'd say do what you feel is good for you-so start yer own thread if that's what you'd like. I'm sure we'll all wander over

No matter which road you choose I wish you the first of many sober years starting 2015. It's a brilliant way of life once we've accepted the party with alcohol is over. Understanding why that had to be was key to my accepting I could never safely drink alcohol again and now a new life has unfolded-one without constant shame/regret/humiliation and panic over the thought of what I may have done in my latest blackout *shudder*.

Happy New Year

Totally agree with this Amazingfun, Go ahead Marty make one of the best decisions you can make... Welcome.

Kunkka · 30-12-2014 10:25AM

I felt the same about AA before I went but boy was I wrong. I know it's a cliche but it's absolutely changed my life. It's changed me physically, mentally & spiritually for the absolute better. I wake up loving life today while when I was drinking all I wanted was it to all be over. How sad a life that was when my life had narrowed so small to just caring about alcohol and nothing else. Give it a go Marty, just go in with an open mind

marty_crane · 30-12-2014 10:40PM

Thanks or the replies, folks-exactly the level of support I expected!

I kinda posted to see also whether anyone else might show an interest in joining me as a newbie. As they didn't I'll stick to where the wisdom is-here.

Again, thanks for the welcomes and kind words. I'll be back in 2015!:)

hubba · 31-12-2014 03:11PM

marty_crane wrote: »

Thanks or the replies, folks-exactly the level of support I expected!

I kinda posted to see also whether anyone else might show an interest in joining me as a newbie. As they didn't I'll stick to where the wisdom is-here.

Again, thanks for the welcomes and kind words. I'll be back in 2015!:)

I'm sure you'll be joined soon enough by others, marty. Welcome to NDG, lots of experience, wisdom and compassion here. Stick around, no matter how things are going for you. The gang here will help you on your way with lots of tips, advice and moral support. Best of luck to you.

Kunkka · 31-12-2014 09:41PM

Happy New Year to everyone. Hope 2015 brings you all you want & more

enoughalready · 01-01-2015 10:29PM

13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.

Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.

I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.

Anyone else encounter the case of overworking and isolating themselves from friends and family?

Whats happening to me? I have headaches going to bed and I am so uptight! The smallest thing gets a huge over reaction from me and I feel I just need something to help reduce the stress. Thankfully I haven't considered drinking nor do I have any urge to....

ballyharpat · 01-01-2015 10:53PM

enoughalready wrote: »

13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.

Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.

I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.

First of all, congrats on your second christmas sober!!!

I am going to give you my views,, but like everything, what keeps me sober, might get you drunk, so find what works for you....I did the same thing you did when I first got sober. The only thing I did was work and meetings and pray.....it worked, I was not capable of much more. As time went on, I began to get irritable and someone said to me, if youre gonna be miserable sober, you may as well be drinking I started hanging out with guys from the meetings on Saturdays or Sundays, we'd go for a drive, listen to some music and/or go for some lunch. It was a form of release....as time went on, I got into cycling, then my life changed, I met a bunch of people that liked to get to bed early and up early so they could get out and do what they love most-cycling, not only that, but also it released positive mood enhancing endorphins. It was a plus plus. Then I began to feel comfortable going to social gatherings with these guys, and alcohol being present did not sway me. I am now 12/13 years without a drink or a drug, I go out, but not regular-I don't enjoy it, so only go out if there's a good reason. I do however go to friends houses for cards or a movie or dinner-whatever, some would be AA groups, some just colleagues from other areas of my life.

It gets better, hang in there, you will be comfortable in your skin again around alcohol, but there is a balance, I still have to have my guard up re alcohol, eg smell my drink before I swig it, if I am out with a group, let the host know beforehand that I don't drink etc.

Hiking, running, soccer.....there are lots of sports that don't require going to the pub-stay away from the GAA though lol.

and you are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who have been where you are, we have gotten through it and most of us enjoy giving our experience, our strength and our hope........

GerB40 · 01-01-2015 10:57PM

It sounds to me like you're stressed out. People underplay how tough stress can be. If I were you I'd see your GP and you're bound to get some advice that will help. Or go to an AA meeting and share your story because there will more than likely be somebody who's been through what you're going through right now. The best advice you'll ever get is from someone who's experienced it themselves.. I hope this helps and I wish you the best in your continued recovery.

Nobody said it'll be easy and you're obviously strong willed. 13 months sober is outstanding. Just think of this as another hurdle along the road to sobriety..

cometogether · 01-01-2015 11:37PM

How hard is it actually? I'm only 20, nearly finished college, and I feel like I'm done with drinking. The lack of control I often have once I'm a few drinks in and the impact its having on my mental health has become dangerous, and I don't want to do it anymore. But I always feel like there's these pressures stopping me.

Haven't touched a drop in...

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