Haven't touched a drop in...

souls

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi all,

101 days sober today... I just used enoughalready's app!

I'm finding things a bit hard lately. I've been going to meetings a few times a week but I'm not sharing. I'm sitting there listening & feeling anxious & upset. Others have said that these are the times I should share but I just find it so hard to talk as I'll feel uncomfortable bawling. I'm not sure why I'm so upset. I've days when I find life all so overwhelming. I don't have a wish to drink today but my head is very muddled & I feel very edgy. Anyone have any advice? Thank you

The exact same thing happened to me not long after where you are now,And I stupidly caved in and had a drink! Its taken me this long (around 8 months) to get back on track!! ITS NOT WORTH IT! believe me! Stay glued to this and listen to enough already "this too shall pass" Best of Luck!

enoughalready

enoughalready wrote: »

I agree, keep telling yourself 'this too shall pass'. Like everything, it passes. Feelings don't linger too often.

Particularly insightful advice to remember when things seem bad.

emmabrighton

29 days - after a slip - I am out jogging every night, my face is losing that jowley look again, have a much more upbeat attitude, had the usual "cravings" at times and locations where I would have drank before.

It doesn't take that much to go from slim to tub once you slip. I did what I did before, convincing myself that if I just exercised more it would be ok to have 1-2 glasses (before it had been bottles) and I wouldn't see the effects of alcohol. But that, for me, is just not true because after 1 drink you don't want to go out jogging, you allow yourself the chocolate bar you have no determination or self discipline which is needed to do the simplest tasks. You don't cook a healthy home cooked meal from scratch, you chuck on some pasta instead. You sit down and watch a movie with your glass of wine instead of scrubbing your kitchen or painting your spare room. You definitely don't go out jogging.

So, this time, armed with what I know now and have read before - "You can't go back, you can't function to the standards that you set yourself even on just one. It is simply not possible. Not for you." - I am determined this time not to get fooled.

Kunkka

Good luck Emma stay positive!

GerB40

emmabrighton wrote: »

29 days - after a slip - I am out jogging every night, my face is losing that jowley look again, have a much more upbeat attitude, had the usual "cravings" at times and locations where I would have drank before.

It doesn't take that much to go from slim to tub once you slip. I did what I did before, convincing myself that if I just exercised more it would be ok to have 1-2 glasses (before it had been bottles) and I wouldn't see the effects of alcohol. But that, for me, is just not true because after 1 drink you don't want to go out jogging, you allow yourself the chocolate bar you have no determination or self discipline which is needed to do the simplest tasks. You don't cook a healthy home cooked meal from scratch, you chuck on some pasta instead. You sit down and watch a movie with your glass of wine instead of scrubbing your kitchen or painting your spare room. You definitely don't go out jogging.

So, this time, armed with what I know now and have read before - "You can't go back, you can't function to the standards that you set yourself even on just one. It is simply not possible. Not for you." - I am determined this time not to get fooled.

So even a slip up can end up being a source of motivation, a positive in other words. That's a great mentality.. Best of luck Emma ☺

GerB40

So, 9 months sober today... And even though I do bitch and moan sometimes (mainly because I thought I'd be "fixed" by now) I have to say, the quality of my life has improved immeasurably. I'm healthy, I'm confident and my self esteem has gone from zero to, well I can't really put a number on it but it certainly isn't zero.

Now I know nobody on this thread knows me personally (I hope ) but the person i described above wouldn't even recognise me if they/we met this time last year. My life is better because I don't drink anymore. And although the journey hasn't always been easy, it really boils down to that.

Again, I have to credit my change in attitude to some of the fine folks on this thread. If I ever feel shítty or weak I just look over some of the conversations that have been had, and just knowing that I'm not on this journey alone gives me a strength I never had before.

So I'd say to people starting a new life without drink (and people thinking about giving it up) just stick at it. That mightn't sound too poetic or profound but I couldn't possibly add anything that hasn't been said here before by more intelligent, experienced posters. Thanks boardsies, because life, at the moment, is pretty good..

Sunnyisland

Delighted for you Ger .
This how I went through some of my journey

slowly but surely getting much better and easier to handle and when I look around and see some of the antics going on , I feel blessed that I have made the decision not to be the ringleader any more.

The chance to FEEL........I mean really feel...all my emotions...without the crippling distorted illusion of alcohol..I can identify my feelings and deal with them accordingly.

And finally the realisation that my problems are still there, money worries still present, sadness, fear and confusion are with me on a regular basis...BUT I can deal with them now...feel them, understand them and know why I am feeling this way..instead of burying them or intensifying them with the help of alcohol.

In conclusion....life is not all sweetness and light, not the perfect world I did expect it to be..but it is a Utopia in comparison to the one I was existing in and for that I will be eternally grateful.

:-)
__________________

souls

GerB40 wrote: »

So, 9 months sober today... And even though I do bitch and moan sometimes (mainly because I thought I'd be "fixed" by now) I have to say, the quality of my life has improved immeasurably. I'm healthy, I'm confident and my self esteem has gone from zero to, well I can't really put a number on it but it certainly isn't zero.

Now I know nobody on this thread knows me personally (I hope😓) but the person i described above wouldn't even recognise me if they/we met this time last year. My life is better because I don't drink anymore. And although the journey hasn't always been easy, it really boils down to that.

Again, I have to credit my change in attitude to some of the fine folks on this thread. If I ever feel shítty or weak I just look over some of the conversations that have been had, and just knowing that I'm not on this journey alone gives me a strength I never had before.

So I'd say to people starting a new life without drink (and people thinking about giving it up) just stick at it. That mightn't sound too poetic or profound but I couldn't possibly add anything that hasn't been said here before by more intelligent, experienced posters. Thanks boardsies, because life, at the moment, is pretty good..

Fantastic achievement Ger! Well done, Glad you are in a good place.

enoughalready

Delighted for you GerB40. Fair play man! We are getting stronger and stronger, day by day. You're right too, this is the best supportive forum EVER! we should win an award, lol! Congrats again...

Abcxyz12345

Delighted for you too Ger... Super well done! :-)

Kunkka

GerB40 wrote: »

So, 9 months sober today... And even though I do bitch and moan sometimes (mainly because I thought I'd be "fixed" by now) I have to say, the quality of my life has improved immeasurably. I'm healthy, I'm confident and my self esteem has gone from zero to, well I can't really put a number on it but it certainly isn't zero.

Now I know nobody on this thread knows me personally (I hope ) but the person i described above wouldn't even recognise me if they/we met this time last year. My life is better because I don't drink anymore. And although the journey hasn't always been easy, it really boils down to that.

Again, I have to credit my change in attitude to some of the fine folks on this thread. If I ever feel shítty or weak I just look over some of the conversations that have been had, and just knowing that I'm not on this journey alone gives me a strength I never had before.

So I'd say to people starting a new life without drink (and people thinking about giving it up) just stick at it. That mightn't sound too poetic or profound but I couldn't possibly add anything that hasn't been said here before by more intelligent, experienced posters. Thanks boardsies, because life, at the moment, is pretty good..

Well done Ger delighted for you.

The good news is it keeps getting better and better every day! Enjoy it

enoughalready

14 Months: Never been happier in myself! Screw you alcohol!

Amazingfun

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

marienbad

Amazingfun wrote: »

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

Great stuff Amazingfun , As a fellow AA believer I find your posts are always insightful and on the ball and a joy to read .

And we now have enough digital friend on here to have digital meetings !

Here is to your next 13 years of sobriety !

Amazingfun

marienbad wrote: »

Great stuff Amazingfun , As a fellow AA believer I find your posts are always insightful and on the ball and a joy to read .

And we now have enough digital friend on here to have digital meetings !

Here is to your next 13 years of sobriety !

haha it's mad I know! Remember in a Vision for You where it talks about what it's like to see a sober fellowship grow up around you and how it's an experience we must not miss? How blown away would they be to see it can happen online too

Appreciate your kind words and 'right back at you': thanks for all you contribute here.

marienbad

Amazingfun wrote: »

haha it's mad I know! Remember in a Vision for You where it talks about what it's like to see a sober fellowship grow up around you and how it's an experience we must not miss? How blown away would they be to see it can happen online too

Appreciate your kind words and 'right back at you': thanks for all you contribute here.

There used to be (and possibly still is ) a site where there were online meetings .

Cushtie

Just turned the 4 years mark. Time has flown by. Don't even think about alcohol now, life is good, uncomplicated, ok a little boring but that's my own fault for not getting involved in new things outside of the pub!!

Abcxyz12345

Congratulations Amazingfun!! Thanks so much for your contribution in this forum... Your enthusiasm & positivity jumps off the screen sometimes - it's great!

Amazingfun wrote: »

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

Amazingfun

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Congratulations Amazingfun!! Thanks so much for your contribution in this forum... Your enthusiasm & positivity jumps off the screen sometimes - it's great!

Thanks ABC and please forgive me for this but I heard it so early on in my sobriety and really never forgot it:

" Congratulating an alcoholic for not drinking alcohol is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding a horse"
- John Larroquette

the evasion_kid

Amazingfun wrote: »

Thanks ABC and please forgive me for this but I heard it so early on in my sobriety and really never forgot it:

" Congratulating an alcoholic for not drinking alcohol is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding a horse"
- John Larroquette

Congrats amazingfun all the same!

That's quite an achievement

marienbad

Cushtie wrote: »

Just turned the 4 years mark. Time has flown by. Don't even think about alcohol now, life is good, uncomplicated, ok a little boring but that's my own fault for not getting involved in new things outside of the pub!!

Congratulations Cushtie , we are on a roll tonight ! What is it they say in US Elections - 4 more years ! So here is to your next 4 and the 4 after that and the...... you get the idea.

Sunnyisland

Amazingfun wrote: »

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

Well done Amazingfun,13 years just brillrent, your posts are a great source of encouragement and knowledge and it's great getting your expearence and insight on here. Well done again,13 not unlucky for you :-)

marienbad

Amazingfun wrote: »

Thanks ABC and please forgive me for this but I heard it so early on in my sobriety and really never forgot it:

" Congratulating an alcoholic for not drinking alcohol is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding a horse"
- John Larroquette

And what if you are an alcoholic cowboy with haemorrhoids ? No more drunk at the reins for him or her .

Kunkka

Amazingfun wrote: »

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

Amazing, well done! Just 10 years behind ya

I was saying yesterday in a meeting in a way I'm glad I'm an alcoholic due to me finding AA. It's put in place a way of living I never had even when I was a child before I drank. I can deal with things today and enjoy life for the simple things. We're the lucky ones so many out there active that are extremely unhappy.

marienbad

Kunkka wrote: »

Amazing, well done! Just 10 years behind ya

I was saying yesterday in a meeting in a way I'm glad I'm an alcoholic due to me finding AA. It's put in place a way of living I never had even when I was a child before I drank. I can deal with things today and enjoy life for the simple things. We're the lucky ones so many out there active that are extremely unhappy.

Well Kunka another way of looking at it is whoever was up earliest this morning is sober the longest , at day at a time and all that .

I must confess I had a long lie in today until 11.30 so I am only a beginner compared to you early risers

enoughalready

I'm at a dodgy stage today where I am having thought processes that maybe I can drink like a 'normal' person again. My mind is playing very devious tricks on me and I knew straight away where to go to express myself! No - not the pub....HERE! I kind of feel like I am being left behind. (Defo a pity party rant!) As if I am not 'out there' being young free and single, being sociable...I'm 28 and still feel like I have more socialising to do. It's just so hard socialising sober, I mean I can do it and it's 'fine', but I'm not living life just to feel 'fine'. Feel I need a slap in the face and for someone to tell me to cop the f**k on!!! I know I'm happier in myself without drink but I am like a bloody hermit hibernating all the time. I need a new awakening. I need to reinvent myself. Anyone else have similar dilemmas?

Kunkka

enoughalready wrote: »

I'm at a dodgy stage today where I am having thought processes that maybe I can drink like a 'normal' person again. My mind is playing very devious tricks on me and I knew straight away where to go to express myself! No - not the pub....HERE! I kind of feel like I am being left behind. (Defo a pity party rant!) As if I am not 'out there' being young free and single, being sociable...I'm 28 and still feel like I have more socialising to do. It's just so hard socialising sober, I mean I can do it and it's 'fine', but I'm not living life just to feel 'fine'. Feel I need a slap in the face and for someone to tell me to cop the f**k on!!! I know I'm happier in myself without drink but I am like a bloody hermit hibernating all the time. I need a new awakening. I need to reinvent myself. Anyone else have similar dilemmas?

Most important thing here is you've shared about it before doing something you know you will regret. Get to a meeting if you go to meetings. I was 25 when I gave up and I'm 28 now so I know how you feel but that does pass. You'll soon realize and accept there is much more to life than that bull****. You've had a strong case of euphoric recall and this is normal with where you are at, I was the same. You're thinking about the good times on drink that are long gone, it just WON'T be the same. Just remember it will never be the same so what's the point of going back to that absolute misery. I think you're right and you do need to get out & do something with your spare time though. I got very much in to fitness and I made friends with people who don't drink who I now go for coffees with. Then I met my GF and now I don't have a minute anymore . You need to find what works for you.

Best of luck and keep posting here when you need to.

Abcxyz12345

Hi enoughalready, it's great to be able to come to this forum.

I don't know if I'm the same as you at the mo but I've been feeling a bit hard done by, I think. I went out Fri & Sat night socializing with two separate groups of friends. I didn't want to miss out on seeing people & wanted to have fun. I felt strong that I wouldn't drink & I didn't. While I in no way wanted to drink on those nights I wasn't really prepared for others around me getting very drunk & how that would make me feel. One very drunken pal kept sayin 'you're not an alcoholic'...

On Sunday I was so down & so upset... I almost felt hungover (except no sicky feeling & I could remember everythin!) I realise now that I can't socialize in this way anymore. I'm 33 & single & have just realized that I need to make new friends & create different opportunities for socializing... And that's kinda scary for me at the mo!

enoughalready wrote: »

I'm at a dodgy stage today where I am having thought processes that maybe I can drink like a 'normal' person again. My mind is playing very devious tricks on me and I knew straight away where to go to express myself! No - not the pub....HERE! I kind of feel like I am being left behind. (Defo a pity party rant!) As if I am not 'out there' being young free and single, being sociable...I'm 28 and still feel like I have more socialising to do. It's just so hard socialising sober, I mean I can do it and it's 'fine', but I'm not living life just to feel 'fine'. Feel I need a slap in the face and for someone to tell me to cop the f**k on!!! I know I'm happier in myself without drink but I am like a bloody hermit hibernating all the time. I need a new awakening. I need to reinvent myself. Anyone else have similar dilemmas?

Sunnyisland

One of the weirdest things an addict (fit whatever name fits in here)has to adjust to is the reactions of his friends. When you first tell them that you're quitting your vice, most of them will assume that you're giving it up for a couple of weeks to detox and reset. After you've hit the finish line that they set up in their own heads, they'll show up again to invite you out. When you tell them that you've given it up for good, they'll be completely blown away. "Why? You're not an addict! You just really like alcohol,There's nothing wrong with that. It's not like you're some back alley wineo,

After a few months, they'll say that you've proven you can handle life without the booze or drugs or amateur rooftop wrestling. "That proves that you're not an addict. You should come out and get blasted like old times. If you've been clean for this long, one night of fun isn't going to hurt." If you resist the temptation, they'll once again leave, and you'll spend the rest of the night coping with the realization that your friends are collectively the devil,

After a year, it's like some switch is thrown, and everyone treats you like a hero. Especially people you haven't talked to in a while. It's surreal. "You quit? Oh, wow, that's great! I'm so proud of you!" Then it's usually followed with a variation of "I really need to quit myself. I don't do it nearly as much as I used to, but I'll occasionally still go down to the old local and do a few rounds, Nothing big. Just socially."

It's such a relief when that happens, but it ends up being too little too late. Don't get me wrong -- the support is awesome. But in those first few months, quitting is hard enough on its own without other people trying to talk you out of it. That support could have really come in handy when you were at your weakest and losing the internal debate to just say **** it and give in to the temptation. There's an extreme upside to that happening, though.









Taken from one of my old files not my original post :-)

lufties

I'm 8 days in..feeling good, nearly cracked last night after a long day at work. The jason vale book is great