Haven't touched a drop in...

cometogether

How hard is it actually? I'm only 20, nearly finished college, and I feel like I'm done with drinking. The lack of control I often have once I'm a few drinks in and the impact its having on my mental health has become dangerous, and I don't want to do it anymore. But I always feel like there's these pressures stopping me.

Today it is precisely one year since my last alcoholic drink. I became a father for the first time in the past few weeks to a healthy, happy baby, buíochas le Dia. I feel blessed, given the ridiculous amount of damage I inflicted on my body for so many enslaved, unproductive, deceitful years. That utterly helpless, needy little life with barely open eyes lost to the world beside me tonight would not exist had I not given up alcohol. It's likely, too, that her mother's deep love would of necessity have turned to hopelessness or hate. One decision, so many lives. I am much more conscious of love in my life this year. The small things - the smile, the touch, the gentleness, the support. They just did not register on my consciousness when my daily aim started and ended with drink. Now, they have time in my life and I am learning to feel and give love, to feel the lives around me and all their vulnerabilities. This new genuine awareness of love and feeling is easily the biggest change and the one with most potential for creating a new, alcohol-free, healthy life.


It's sort of amazing I survived at all, when I think back to one of my last nights and the twenty-two 500ml cans which I had been free to count at the end of one day of unrestrained freedom at home (usually, I did everything imaginable to hide the extent of my drinking by eliminating the evidence immediately). I couldn't believe I drank so much, and when I woke up the next morning to start again I just knew there would never, ever, ever be an end to this except in a box, and after destroying the lives of all the people who loved, and needed, me. I had an insatiable appetite for alcohol and it had got so much worse. There was no end to it, and that is the outstanding point I can never allow myself to forget. Addiction condemned me to a life of abject stagnation of the most repetitive sort.

I still fear my ability to self-destruct and I still need things to keep me occupied and focused. Self-destruction combined with money and too much freedom has always been my undoing. In every period of life when I had achieved, I had given up alcohol completely. I have never done half measures, ever. Black or white thinking, always. That Nicholas Cage character in Leaving Las Vegas who went to Vegas to drink himself to death could have been me because that was the inexplicable depth of my self-destruction. I, however, would probably have gone to The Gravediggers or Doolin or Inis Oirr in line with the way I had fallen deeply for all that romanticisation of alcohol in this country. Only now after a decidedly difficult year fighting it, do I feel less threatened by that all-pervasive romanticisation and more repelled by it.

I was, as Brendan Kennelly memorably described himself on the Late Late Show many years ago, a professional drunk; nobody would have guessed the extent of my drinking and its deceit as I still got my work done. But I knew that was not going to last much longer, the fact that by 2013 I was taking risks with my drinking that I had always abhorred (and would be too ashamed to mention) meant it was only a matter of time before I was caught and my world collapsed.
Hopefully this year I can tackle my other addiction - overeating. I've lost 16kg since I gave up alcohol, but I have another 30kg to lose. The "all or nothing" mentality and self-destructive pattern of behaviour I have towards crap food is precisely the same as my mentality has been towards alcohol. I think when I can get on top of my weight I will be more on top of my drink problem also if that makes sense. Time for new thinking in 2015!

(This forum has been singularly helpful, and inspirational, throughout the year. Thank you to everybody/Táim an-bhuíoch díbh go léir.)

Amazingfun

enoughalready wrote: »

13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.

Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.

I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.

Anyone else encounter the case of overworking and isolating themselves from friends and family?

Whats happening to me? I have headaches going to bed and I am so uptight! The smallest thing gets a huge over reaction from me and I feel I just need something to help reduce the stress. Thankfully I haven't considered drinking nor do I have any urge to....

I am in AA (as you know) so I am giving an opinion based on my experience with it. So when you ask "What's happening to me"--I'd answer: untreated alcoholism. Putting down the drink is only the beginning.....

This is from the Big Book:

Page 100-101: "Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!"

Just food for thought......Happy New Year btw!

Amazingfun

cometogether wrote: »

How hard is it actually? I'm only 20, nearly finished college, and I feel like I'm done with drinking. The lack of control I often have once I'm a few drinks in and the impact its having on my mental health has become dangerous, and I don't want to do it anymore. But I always feel like there's these pressures stopping me.

There are only two things really that define someone as a "real" alcoholic in AA:

1. We cannot control the amount we take once we start to drink (otherwise known as the "phenomenon of craving" and "the physical allergy").

2. When off the drink for any period of time, say a few weeks, months or even years-can we stay off it? Or does the mind conjure up some excuse/reason/rationale for picking it up again. Something like "this time it will be different", etc etc.

I know a lot of young people who are now enjoying a sober life. 20 isn't the youngest even.

Just my 2-cents.....Happy New Year

Amazingfun

Today it is precisely one year since my last alcoholic drink. I became a father for the first time in the past few weeks to a healthy, happy baby, buíochas le Dia. I feel blessed

Happy Birthday Anamcheastra!! So chuffed for you and delighted for your family.
Wonderful post and thanks for sharing. It just shows again what an impact our drinking truly has on every single person whose lives touch ours....and how our sobriety does the same, except in a beautiful way now.

Congratulations and may this sober year be the first of many to come!

ballyharpat

Amazingfun wrote: »

There are only two things really that define someone as a "real" alcoholic in AA:

1. We cannot control the amount we take once we start to drink (otherwise known as the "phenomenon of craving" and "the physical allergy").

2. When off the drink for any period of time, say a few weeks, months or even years-can we stay off it? Or does the mind conjure up some excuse/reason/rationale for picking it up again. Something like "this time it will be different", etc etc.

I know a lot of young people who are now enjoying a sober life. 20 isn't the youngest even.

Just my 2-cents.....Happy New Year

I would have to disagree with you, I do not think an 'alcoholic' can be defined by either of those two. I have met people in AA that have come from alcoholic families, and after the first night drinking they knew they were alcoholics, one of them said they felt the switch flicked and a change occur when she drank. Fortunately, she had been to many al-ateen meetings and this feeling was enough to inspire her to go to AA.

One thing that I have yet to have proven wrong, although it may take years, if someone ends up at an AA meeting, and they wonder do they belong.....normal drinkers don't find themselves at an AA meeting.....

If you feel your life would be better without drink, then why keep drinking? I have yet to meet anyone that alcohol made them a better person...And another thing, you don't have to be an alcoholic to give up drinking......

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do....

ShivaDark

Now that the holidays have past and all the people celebrating the New Year have terrible hangovers, I can gladly say I didn't drink or even was remotely tempted to drink during these festivities.

My brother felt the need to boast to me about his 48+ hour drinking binge, I really don't understand how he thinks that's something to be proud of considering the amount we both suffered due to our alcoholic parents and their similar binges during our childhood.

I'll happily be a social recluse and the family weirdo for not drinking any day. My health means too much to me just to fit in.

Amazingfun

ballyharpat wrote: »

I would have to disagree with you, I do not think an 'alcoholic' can be defined by either of those two. I have met people in AA that have come from alcoholic families, and after the first night drinking they knew they were alcoholics, one of them said they felt the switch flicked and a change occur when she drank. Fortunately, she had been to many al-ateen meetings and this feeling was enough to inspire her to go to AA.

One thing that I have yet to have proven wrong, although it may take years, if someone ends up at an AA meeting, and they wonder do they belong.....normal drinkers don't find themselves at an AA meeting.....

If you feel your life would be better without drink, then why keep drinking? I have yet to meet anyone that alcohol made them a better person...And another thing, you don't have to be an alcoholic to give up drinking......

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do....

Well you are free to disagree with me, but the info I posted was taken directly from the Big Book, written by the founders of AA, so......I guess you disagree with them too?

In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_44.htm

1. Not being able to quit entirely= mental obsession
2. Little control over the amount you take= physical allergy.


And my experience in AA is that all kinds of people arrive there not knowing if they are truly alkie or not. Our book talks about "heavy drinkers" and how they are different from alcoholics, etc. The Book even tells people to drink if they are unclear about which category they belong in !

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try itmore than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.

Page 31/32 big book.

But like I said...this is my experience and so is what I share.

ballyharpat

Amazingfun wrote: »

Well you are free to disagree with me, but the info I posted was taken directly from the Big Book, written by the founders of AA, so......I guess you disagree with them too?

There are things in the big book that I would differ on, yes, it is a book of suggestions, they use experiences, just as we use ours, and I believe that what they say regarding 2 ways to define an alcoholic would be correct, I also believe that there are other ways that people may feel comfortable defining themselves as alcoholics.

However, if someone comes in and disagrees with the big book or any part of the 12 step programme, I have no problem with it, what works for them may not work for me and Vice Versa.

Honesty
Open-mindedness
Willingness

Take a look at the 'O' in there

Not getting into a debate or argument, I feel we are each entitled to our opinions and the OP may not fit into one of the two categories you described-as is written are 'probably' alcoholic in the Big Book, so if he/she does not fit into one of those categories, it does not necessarily mean they are not an alcoholic

Amazingfun

ballyharpat wrote: »

There are things in the big book that I would differ on, yes, it is a book of suggestions, they use experiences, just as we use ours, and I believe that what they say regarding 2 ways to define an alcoholic would be correct, I also believe that there are other ways that people may feel comfortable defining themselves as alcoholics.

However, if someone comes in and disagrees with the big book or any part of the 12 step programme, I have no problem with it, what works for them may not work for me and Vice Versa.

Honesty
Open-mindedness
Willingness

Take a look at the 'O' in there

Not getting into a debate or argument, I feel we are each entitled to our opinions and the OP may not fit into one of the two categories you described-as is written are 'probably' alcoholic in the Big Book, so if he/she does not fit into one of those categories, it does not necessarily mean they are not an alcoholic

You disagree with the Big Book? Care to elaborate?

but you are getting into debate, for this is AA and our program of recovery is not some vague wishy washy thing....it's a recipe ("precise clear cut directions"-remember?) designed to enable us to recover permanently from the awful illness that continues to kill and ruin the lives of countless people in this country and around the world.

And it works as is.

So if you have some other kind of program, good for you, but I like to carry the message as it was carried to me -and that message is indeed in the Big Book


PS: the OP mentioned he has a lack of control when he starts to drink and is exactly why I posted the info from AA. If he has the physical allergy he is already in serious trouble and the least we can do is pass on why that is,

ballyharpat

Amazingfun wrote: »

You disagree with the Big Book? Care to elaborate?

Are you for real??

Get to a meeting if you are really going to go on a forum and start telling someone you know nothing about that is clean and sober for 12 years that they are not working the program!

You have no clue who I am where I came from and where I am in life, and go ahead and tell a newcomer that they have to take everything in the big book literally, see how many people jump out of the program!

And quit with the extremism that the lefties in the press go on about, we are here (in the program) because we choose to be here, we know the seriousness of alcoholism and its effects or we would probably still be drinking.

Everyone I've met has had the message carried in a different way-It's not set in stone, and each sponsor has different things that they feel are important which is why all sponsors are different and we choose one to suit us, otherwise we would just get someone that can read from a text book.

I am agreeing that the OP 'Probably' has a drinking problem, I cannot diagnose that-You seem to be able to though?
It is up to the OP to decide whether or not they are an alcoholic.

One thing I am strongly disagreeing with you on is that the two definitions you have said define an alcoholic, we do not have to satisfy those conditions to think of ourselves as alcoholic. Some of us can decide a lot earlier in our drinking careers that we are alcoholics, but you can continue to tell people that unless they suffer from one of those, they are not alcoholic, in the meantime, I will continue to welcome into the rooms, anyone that feels they could benefit from the Rooms of AA, whether they have reached that point or not.



but you are getting into debate, for this is AA and our program of recovery is not some vague wishy washy thing....it's a recipe ("precise clear cut directions"-remember?) designed to enable us to recover permanently from the awful illness that continues to kill and ruin the lives of countless people in this country and around the world.

And it works as is.

So if you have some other kind of program, good for you, but I like to carry the message as it was carried to me -and that message is indeed in the Big Book


PS: the OP mentioned he has a lack of control when he starts to drink and is exactly why I posted the info from AA. If he has the physical allergy he is already in serious trouble and the least we can do is pass on why that is ??

marienbad

ballyharpat wrote: »

Amazingfun wrote: »

You disagree with the Big Book? Care to elaborate?

Are you for real??

Get to a meeting if you are really going to go on a forum and start telling someone you know nothing about that is clean and sober for 12 years that they are not working the program!

You have no clue who I am where I came from and where I am in life, and go ahead and tell a newcomer that they have to take everything in the big book literally, see how many people jump out of the program!

And quit with the extremism that the lefties in the press go on about, we are here (in the program) because we choose to be here, we know the seriousness of alcoholism and its effects or we would probably still be drinking.

Everyone I've met has had the message carried in a different way-It's not set in stone, and each sponsor has different things that they feel are important which is why all sponsors are different and we choose one to suit us, otherwise we would just get someone that can read from a text book.

I am agreeing that the OP 'Probably' has a drinking problem, I cannot diagnose that-You seem to be able to though?
It is up to the OP to decide whether or not they are an alcoholic.

One thing I am strongly disagreeing with you on is that the two definitions you have said define an alcoholic, we do not have to satisfy those conditions to think of ourselves as alcoholic. Some of us can decide a lot earlier in our drinking careers that we are alcoholics, but you can continue to tell people that unless they suffer from one of those, they are not alcoholic, in the meantime, I will continue to welcome into the rooms, anyone that feels they could benefit from the Rooms of AA, whether they have reached that point or not.



but you are getting into debate, for this is AA and our program of recovery is not some vague wishy washy thing....it's a recipe ("precise clear cut directions"-remember?) designed to enable us to recover permanently from the awful illness that continues to kill and ruin the lives of countless people in this country and around the world.

And it works as is.

So if you have some other kind of program, good for you, but I like to carry the message as it was carried to me -and that message is indeed in the Big Book


PS: the OP mentioned he has a lack of control when he starts to drink and is exactly why I posted the info from AA. If he has the physical allergy he is already in serious trouble and the least we can do is pass on why that is ??

Why the disagreement ? you have your opinion ,amazingfun has his , can we leave it at that .

Kunkka

This is a support group not a group for diagnosis in any shape or form. It is far too dangerous to get involved in that territory.

Dave!

Guys this isn't the thread for arguments of this nature. This thread is for 100% supportive chat and positivity.

Tbh I'd rather not have these arguments in the forum at all because it can lead to bad blood which affects the atmosphere of the place.

Just accept that people have different approaches to treatment, and offer advice that is applicable to everyone.

Thanks.

theenergy

Day 2.

Been down this road before!

I cant do it on my own!

Sunnyisland

theenergy wrote: »

Day 2.

Been down this road before!

I cant do it on my own!

For me relapse after stinking relapse has taught me that recovery is impossible without a strong support network. When you are having a compulsion to drink, I don't think that coming to an internet message board is a substitute for speaking with a person in real time. That's why AA and other support groups gives you a list of phone numbers a mile long so that someone will pick up when you need them most. And I'm not saying AA and other support groups is the end all, it's just the support in real time Imo you just can't beat and seems to have worked for the largest number of people.

Unfortunately, relapse is often a part of the recovery process, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, though it is demoralizing, it took me years to quit Alcohol for good but quit I did eventually.
Don't give up you can do it there is great support here and out there go get it, :-)

iusedtoknow

realies wrote: »

Unfortunately, relapse is often a part of the recovery process, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, though it is demoralizing, it took me years to quit Alcohol for good but quit I did eventually.
Don't give up you can do it there is great support here and out there go get it, :-)

I remember reading (was on another discussion group) that a relapse doesn't reset the clock, it is a blip. I suppose what they were getting at was that time rumbles on - instead of counting days since your last drink, could days that you haven't drunk on.

Early on in quitting, this is really important - patting yourself on the back after every sober day...eventually it'll get to every sober month, and year.

enoughalready

ballyharpat wrote: »

enoughalready wrote: »

13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.

Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.

I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.

First of all, congrats on your second christmas sober!!!

I am going to give you my views,, but like everything, what keeps me sober, might get you drunk, so find what works for you....I did the same thing you did when I first got sober. The only thing I did was work and meetings and pray.....it worked, I was not capable of much more. As time went on, I began to get irritable and someone said to me, if youre gonna be miserable sober, you may as well be drinking I started hanging out with guys from the meetings on Saturdays or Sundays, we'd go for a drive, listen to some music and/or go for some lunch. It was a form of release....as time went on, I got into cycling, then my life changed, I met a bunch of people that liked to get to bed early and up early so they could get out and do what they love most-cycling, not only that, but also it released positive mood enhancing endorphins. It was a plus plus. Then I began to feel comfortable going to social gatherings with these guys, and alcohol being present did not sway me. I am now 12/13 years without a drink or a drug, I go out, but not regular-I don't enjoy it, so only go out if there's a good reason. I do however go to friends houses for cards or a movie or dinner-whatever, some would be AA groups, some just colleagues from other areas of my life.

It gets better, hang in there, you will be comfortable in your skin again around alcohol, but there is a balance, I still have to have my guard up re alcohol, eg smell my drink before I swig it, if I am out with a group, let the host know beforehand that I don't drink etc.

Hiking, running, soccer.....there are lots of sports that don't require going to the pub-stay away from the GAA though lol.

and you are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who have been where you are, we have gotten through it and most of us enjoy giving our experience, our strength and our hope........

Thanks a million Ballyharpat for taking the time to respond to my post. I can relate to what you're saying and going forward I plan to engage more with life and stop hiding away. In a way I am becoming a little miserable being sober by isolating myself and I'm certainly not going to continue that behaviour in 2015. I sometimes suffer from bouts of anxiety but nothing serious where I need to put a label on it. Feel the fear and do it anyway! Cheers again, great advice and help and I really appreciate it

enoughalready

Amazingfun wrote: »

I am in AA (as you know) so I am giving an opinion based on my experience with it. So when you ask "What's happening to me"--I'd answer: untreated alcoholism. Putting down the drink is only the beginning.....

This is from the Big Book:



Just food for thought......Happy New Year btw!

Thanks Amazingfun - cheers for AA related messages, even though I don't go to meetings, I at times still read the Big Book and like to read the stories in them, who knows if I'll ever go back to AA but for now I'm pleased with reading the literature.

enoughalready

GerB40 wrote: »

It sounds to me like you're stressed out. People underplay how tough stress can be. If I were you I'd see your GP and you're bound to get some advice that will help. Or go to an AA meeting and share your story because there will more than likely be somebody who's been through what you're going through right now. The best advice you'll ever get is from someone who's experienced it themselves.. I hope this helps and I wish you the best in your continued recovery.

Nobody said it'll be easy and you're obviously strong willed. 13 months sober is outstanding. Just think of this as another hurdle along the road to sobriety..

Cheers for the support and advice GerB40. It really helps to hear different points of views and I'm glad to say through talking it out on here and with a good friend I feel confident on how to reduce the stressload I have currently and I know what I must do to ensure I am adopting the principles of 'self-care' and ensuring I'm healthy in both body and mind. Fair play to you also on your journey and I wish you the very best in 2015

ballyharpat

enoughalready wrote: »

ballyharpat wrote: »

Thanks a million Ballyharpat for taking the time to respond to my post. I can relate to what you're saying and going forward I plan to engage more with life and stop hiding away. In a way I am becoming a little miserable being sober by isolating myself and I'm certainly not going to continue that behaviour in 2015. I sometimes suffer from bouts of anxiety but nothing serious where I need to put a label on it. Feel the fear and do it anyway! Cheers again, great advice and help and I really appreciate it

Really glad that I helped a bit, enoughalready.

I had an old sponsor over, he used to say
F**k
Everything
And
Run

or

Face
Everything
And
Recover

F.E.A.R

Ed The Equalizer

enoughalready wrote: »

13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.

Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.

I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.

Anyone else encounter the case of overworking and isolating themselves from friends and family?

Whats happening to me? I have headaches going to bed and I am so uptight! The smallest thing gets a huge over reaction from me and I feel I just need something to help reduce the stress. Thankfully I haven't considered drinking nor do I have any urge to....

I experienced similar until when 2.5 years sober I had Christmas dinner with a guy who was 22 years sober and he was drinking non-alcoholic beer. I joined him for one and since then have enjoyed it intermittently. It's great for relaxing at home or for going to a pub occasion.

You'll get a lot of people warning you against this approach, but for me it's been great to let off steam, and in particular to enjoy my old friends' company and still have all the craic with them.

souls

Ed The Equalizer wrote: »

I experienced similar until when 2.5 years sober I had Christmas dinner with a guy who was 22 years sober and he was drinking non-alcoholic beer. I joined him for one and since then have enjoyed it intermittently. It's great for relaxing at home or for going to a pub occasion.

You'll get a lot of people warning you against this approach, but for me it's been great to let off steam, and in particular to enjoy my old friends' company and still have all the craic with them.

…..dangerous territory i fear my friend..
Im my experience this is playing with fire.. just my two cents worth.

iusedtoknow

souls wrote: »

…..dangerous territory i fear my friend..
Im my experience this is playing with fire.. just my two cents worth.

I disagree

But that is it - different strokes for different folks.

Personally, I don't find it a "trigger" or gateway into actual beer. I travel a lot for work, to hot countries and it is actually a really refreshing drink to have on it's own. Last August, I was in Spain where many places have NA on tap - just as cold as regular beer but without side effects.

souls

iusedtoknow wrote: »

I disagree

But that is it - different strokes for different folks.

Personally, I don't find it a "trigger" or gateway into actual beer. I travel a lot for work, to hot countries and it is actually a really refreshing drink to have on it's own. Last August, I was in Spain where many places have NA on tap - just as cold as regular beer but without side effects.

I agree iusedtoknow. Different strokes for different folks..
I just wanted enoughalready to know that in my particular case this was a bad idea. i basically was a social recluse for so many months ..

When i thought i was strong enough to go "out" i.e. pubs clubs etc.. (just to socialize again) i drank NA Beers , unfortunately it wasn't long before i was drinking again.. I understand that i was foolish to put myself in that situation in the first place i.e being in a pub or club but i am still only 30 and would like some social company.

Everybody is an individual.. everybody must walk their own path.. But advice and information goes a long way..

I wish you all the best on your journey enoughalready!

the evasion_kid

souls wrote: »

I agree iusedtoknow. Different strokes for different folks..
I just wanted enoughalready to know that in my particular case this was a bad idea. i basically was a social recluse for so many months ..

When i thought i was strong enough to go "out" i.e. pubs clubs etc.. (just to socialize again) i drank NA Beers , unfortunately it wasn't long before i was drinking again.. I understand that i was foolish to put myself in that situation in the first place i.e being in a pub or club but i am still only 30 and would like some social company.

Everybody is an individual.. everybody must walk their own path.. But advice and information goes a long way..

I wish you all the best on your journey enoughalready!

I was the same off it for months and drank n/a when I was out never really got cravings for real beer though,I did have one hell of a relapse though partly my thinking I would do it different this time and I had a wedding coming up.I'm off it again 3 months now and I did get cravings around the Xmas were I drank n/a on Xmas day they disappeared,I do think a lot of the cravings I got were more mental than anything else.
There's a lot of conflicting stuff online about n/a when your an alcoholic I suppose it all boils down to the individualin a way I think my relapse showed me that I can never drink again,I've crossed the line.

enoughalready

Thanks for replys guys, means alot, good advice!

I have taken the week off work next week and I'm also taking the week after next off college to get myself together and figure out what I want out of life. I approached my boss today to say that I would like to go part time during the Summer months with specific minimum hours. I didn't say I was stressed or use any excuse. Just said I was looking to plan new projects during the Summer and I can't commit to full time hours. (I am part time during college term and full time during summer holidays when its busier). I get paid by the hour and have no contract set in stone where it says I must work a certain amount of hours).

I felt a great sense of release knocking this particular stressor on the head. I was thinking of leaving altogether and still might on the run up to June 2015, but part of me still doubts myself, am I making the right choice? They say you shouldn't make any big life changing decisions in your first year of sobriety. I've passed that mark now and want to move forward for the right reasons and not just stay somewhere cause its in my comfort zone.

Anyway just venting and letting off steam here as I can trust you guys to guide me and help with supportive advice.

Enough about me, hope everyone else is content with their choices and life is being kind to them. So glad to be sober after all is said and done!

enoughalready

P.S. When I say 'guys', I don't mean 'men'. I say 'guys' as in, 'guys and gals'. Just so as not to leave anyone out #feminist #overthinkingeverything lol

theenergy

realies wrote: »

For me relapse after stinking relapse has taught me that recovery is impossible without a strong support network. When you are having a compulsion to drink, I don't think that coming to an internet message board is a substitute for speaking with a person in real time. That's why AA and other support groups gives you a list of phone numbers a mile long so that someone will pick up when you need them most. And I'm not saying AA and other support groups is the end all, it's just the support in real time Imo you just can't beat and seems to have worked for the largest number of people.

Unfortunately, relapse is often a part of the recovery process, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, though it is demoralizing, it took me years to quit Alcohol for good but quit I did eventually.
Don't give up you can do it there is great support here and out there go get it, :-)

Cheers for the comment realies
Yeah well im back in contact with my sponsor and others members.... slowly!
I would have a habit of going all out on the AA 24/7
I wish to get spiritually well this year.. ive material things.... it dont matter to me. The problem is still there.

On a diff note you have been great support to peoples out there with your kind comments - so keep it up!

leinsterdude

Would be very curious what amounts you guys were drinking to make you stop, I wonder myself and now and then cut right down, but I would not be brave enough to stop, I enjoy it but see the danger of it spiralling some day.