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Haven't touched a drop in...
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So it's Monday, 7:10 in the morning on the 22nd of December and I've been to the pub three nights out of the last four. And my head is clear as crystal...
The first night I went out was quiet enough, which I knew it would be, but I looked at it as kind of a dress rehearsal for what was to come. I went into the pub around 7ish and left just before 11. I won't lie, it felt fúcking amazing walking home in the same state I walked to the pub in.
The second night was Saturday and I was only there from half 8 till 10. I was okay at first but one of my friends (who all seem to have nothing but admiration for me, which I really didn't expect but am very happy about) decided to buy a round of hot whiskys. That was too much.. The pints and the odd quare shot like tequila or jägermeister didn't bother me, I had my reliable mi-wadi and the temptation just wasn't that bad. But at the mention of a hot whisky I started getting the shakes and my heart was going 90. If I was gonna relapse that night it was gonna be with hot whiskys.. I made my excuses and left.
Last night was what I was working up to. Two of my friends were back from Australia and, after the last two nights, I was genuinely more excited than nervous about hittin the old waterin hole.. I went over at around 5, met one of the lads and had great craic with him, all the while alternating between tea and mi-wadi. At around half 10 my other friend arrived (wearing fúcking chinos... Jesus Australia what did you do to him???). By this stage the band were blarin out brilliant music, the whole place was hopping and I just had to leave. I spoke to him a bit, he took down my number, promised to meet up today when it's a bit quieter and I left. Last night was tough because with a few drinks down me it would be my idea of heaven. I didn't drink and it certainly didn't feel heavenly to me but right now I feel brilliant. I'm able to fight temptation by just leaving when it gets too much, a complete turn around from the last few years..
I suppose my next step is to learn how to cope with being comfortable around drunk people. Ideally I'd like to be able to chat with girls while being sober but the old adage "learn to walk before you run" comes to mind:) but I'll carry on regardless..
So that's that. I think I needed to write that down for myself to read more than anything else. And if I never see mi-wadi again it'll be too soon... Slán abhaile agus Nollaig shone do gach duine anseo. (My attempt at wishing everybody here a happy Christmas as géailge). Stay safe folks, and stay strong.. And sorry for the long post, I had to share my happiness with like minded people
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I remember it too Abcxyz12345, your posts seemed so full of pain my heart went out to you .I remembered my own not too dissimilar early days and realized yet once more how fortunate I was .
So if I helped you - you also helped me and by all of us helping each other we can get along bit by bit on this journey or ours.
keep it simple Mon'Amie and a day at a time and we will get there
I love this thread and the people on it... And for a change, I can't blame the drink for this outburst 0 -
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I can honestly say the same. I know this might sound a bit too sentimental but this thread really helped me start to get my life back together.. I won't pinpoint any one contributer for fear of forgetting others who have helped but this thread as a whole has been literally life changing..
How times have changed ! I remember thumbing country roads at night just to get a meeting . Things were really tough in the olden days
'yeah right ' as my kids say0 -
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Had another beautiful sober Christmas and just back after the holidays Good to see so many doing well but I am wondering how some of the silent/lurkers are doing?
No matter what's happening...it's a new day and a chance to choose a different road.0 -
Amazingfun wrote: »Had another beautiful sober Christmas and just back after the holidays Good to see so many doing well but I am wondering how some of the silent/lurkers are doing?
No matter what's happening...it's a new day and a chance to choose a different road.
It was my first sober xmas in 12 years and it's been the best one yet. I went out a couple of times to meet some of my friends a hadn't seen in a while, some I hadn't seen in years (feckin Australia) which was nice. And I can remember everything!! I know I'll probably never have the fun I used to when I was full to the gills with drink but I suppose it's time I grew up a bit.
Anyway, new years eve should be interesting. Usually I'd leave before 12 because everyone was so twisted but doing that kinda defeats the purpose of new years eve doesn't it?? Regardless, I'll see how it goes but on the whole, I'm pretty sure I can chalk this xmas down as a success. I hope more folks here have had a similar festive season and I wish ye all the best..0 -
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I'd say do what you feel is good for you-so start yer own thread if that's what you'd like. I'm sure we'll all wander over
As for AA....yer welcome to attend a few open meetings and see what you think? No pressure to speak or anything like that so never worry about having to make yourself known (unless you want to of course).
These days there is other options around-might they appeal? Lifering/Aware/ etc?
As I am sure you know I am an AA member (a very grateful one at that!) but I always promote AA as a "last house on the block" type of option based on my own experience and that of more than a few others I've observed over the years. Others here may have different views.
No matter which road you choose I wish you the first of many sober years starting 2015. It's a brilliant way of life once we've accepted the party with alcohol is over. Understanding why that had to be was key to my accepting I could never safely drink alcohol again and now a new life has unfolded-one without constant shame/regret/humiliation and panic over the thought of what I may have done in my latest blackout *shudder*.
Happy New Year 0 -
Amazingfun wrote: »I'd say do what you feel is good for you-so start yer own thread if that's what you'd like. I'm sure we'll all wander over
No matter which road you choose I wish you the first of many sober years starting 2015. It's a brilliant way of life once we've accepted the party with alcohol is over. Understanding why that had to be was key to my accepting I could never safely drink alcohol again and now a new life has unfolded-one without constant shame/regret/humiliation and panic over the thought of what I may have done in my latest blackout *shudder*.
Happy New Year
Totally agree with this Amazingfun, Go ahead Marty make one of the best decisions you can make... Welcome.0 -
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enoughalready wrote: »13 Months Sober, I've lost count on how many days it has been and in a way it doesn't matter anymore as it's now second nature to me; I just don't drink.
Avoidance however is my biggest downfall. I avoid every social scene possible (even dinners) if there are people drinking at the table. I won't venture into a pub or night club and I haven't seen many of my friends in quite a while. I have literally been working myself to the bone and have realsied how unhealthy it has been, in a way, I am more stressed than I was when drinking if that makes sense. Especially the past two weeks, I worked insane hours in a very stressful job with no release or stress reduction.
I really need to cut down on my work load and take care of myself, started feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable recently and that is not how I want 2015 to begin.
First of all, congrats on your second christmas sober!!!
I am going to give you my views,, but like everything, what keeps me sober, might get you drunk, so find what works for you....I did the same thing you did when I first got sober. The only thing I did was work and meetings and pray.....it worked, I was not capable of much more. As time went on, I began to get irritable and someone said to me, if youre gonna be miserable sober, you may as well be drinking
I started hanging out with guys from the meetings on Saturdays or Sundays, we'd go for a drive, listen to some music and/or go for some lunch. It was a form of release....as time went on, I got into cycling, then my life changed, I met a bunch of people that liked to get to bed early and up early so they could get out and do what they love most-cycling, not only that, but also it released positive mood enhancing endorphins. It was a plus plus. Then I began to feel comfortable going to social gatherings with these guys, and alcohol being present did not sway me. I am now 12/13 years without a drink or a drug, I go out, but not regular-I don't enjoy it, so only go out if there's a good reason. I do however go to friends houses for cards or a movie or dinner-whatever, some would be AA groups, some just colleagues from other areas of my life.
It gets better, hang in there, you will be comfortable in your skin again around alcohol, but there is a balance, I still have to have my guard up re alcohol, eg smell my drink before I swig it, if I am out with a group, let the host know beforehand that I don't drink etc.
Hiking, running, soccer.....there are lots of sports that don't require going to the pub-stay away from the GAA though lol.
and you are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who have been where you are, we have gotten through it and most of us enjoy giving our experience, our strength and our hope........0 -
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