Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

beks101 · 15-10-2014 05:56PM

I think a lot of people are misled on these dating sites and that's why you'll see these overly blunt remarks/'demands'/'requirements' relating to height and weight etc.

"Men lie about their height, women lie about their weight" is a good rule of thumb I've heard before.

I already outlined my own experience with a "5'8" guy who turned out to be nowhere near...and from my own experience of being on these sites, it seemed to be a remarkably regular thing among the men that I met to be led astray about a women's size/weight.

"Curvy" body type as a misnomer for "quite heavy" is one example. Unless they see full-length body shots, a lot of men who clearly had a preference for slim women would be reluctant to believe a woman was curvaceous in the true sense of the word, as opposed to significantly overweight. Perhaps first dates where that was proved to be true had provoked that; and in the case of women (me included), it was significantly shorter men who claimed to be "5'10" or taller. Quite a lot of "6-footers" who were virtually at my eye-line when I met them and in heels I'd be no taller than 5'6.

So you have to allow for that context when you speak of the bluntness, directness and almost ignorance people can exude when they're expressing their preferences in a seemingly overly shallow way.

Personally, it wouldn't be my style. I too have my preferences, but would never entirely exclude 'short men' as a rule, as I've dated lots of them and it's made fack all difference in how attracted I was. But some people feel differently. And they're entitled to.

K4t · 15-10-2014 06:32PM

A lot of insecurity here.

Surely if a woman chooses to disregard you or anybody else based on height alone, then you are the lucky one and have made a lucky escape. It's an excellent screening process to avoid idiots really.

Mister Vain · 15-10-2014 09:25PM

beks101 wrote: »

I think a lot of people are misled on these dating sites and that's why you'll see these overly blunt remarks/'demands'/'requirements' relating to height and weight etc.

"Men lie about their height, women lie about their weight" is a good rule of thumb I've heard before.

That's a very good point beks, and one of the main problems with online dating. It's all too easy to lie and exaggerate. I'm sure plenty of people have lied about their jobs too.

DoYouEvenLift · 15-10-2014 09:45PM

beks101 wrote: »

I think a lot of people are misled on these dating sites and that's why you'll see these overly blunt remarks/'demands'/'requirements' relating to height and weight etc.

"Men lie about their height, women lie about their weight" is a good rule of thumb I've heard before.

I already outlined my own experience with a "5'8" guy who turned out to be nowhere near...and from my own experience of being on these sites, it seemed to be a remarkably regular thing among the men that I met to be led astray about a women's size/weight.

"Curvy" body type as a misnomer for "quite heavy" is one example. Unless they see full-length body shots, a lot of men who clearly had a preference for slim women would be reluctant to believe a woman was curvaceous in the true sense of the word, as opposed to significantly overweight. Perhaps first dates where that was proved to be true had provoked that; and in the case of women (me included), it was significantly shorter men who claimed to be "5'10" or taller. Quite a lot of "6-footers" who were virtually at my eye-line when I met them and in heels I'd be no taller than 5'6.

So you have to allow for that context when you speak of the bluntness, directness and almost ignorance people can exude when they're expressing their preferences in a seemingly overly shallow way.

Personally, it wouldn't be my style. I too have my preferences, but would never entirely exclude 'short men' as a rule, as I've dated lots of them and it's made fack all difference in how attracted I was. But some people feel differently. And they're entitled to.

Excellently put.

Mister Vain wrote: »

That's a very good point beks, and one of the main problems with online dating. It's all too easy to lie and exaggerate. I'm sure plenty of people have lied about their jobs too.

Those kind of people are funny. They obviously have trouble distinguishing between real life and the virtual world that the internet can be, but online dating is one of those exceptions where you can't get away with petty lies and deception if you actually intend to use it properly instead of wasting people's time by maintaining the lies to the point you meet in person, and at that stage it's just unfair on the other person as they might be too polite to give their opinion on how they feel being lied to before they even had their first meet. Would always be best to use Snapchat or Skype with someone before going out of your way to meet them I guess.

Roquentin · 15-10-2014 10:02PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Excellently put.

Those kind of people are funny. They obviously have trouble distinguishing between real life and the virtual world that the internet can be, but online dating is one of those exceptions where you can't get away with petty lies and deception if you actually intend to use it properly instead of wasting people's time by maintaining the lies to the point you meet in person, and at that stage it's just unfair on the other person as they might be too polite to give their opinion on how they feel being lied to before they even had their first meet. Would always be best to use Snapchat or Skype with someone before going out of your way to meet them I guess.

ah well you know, we are all good looking geniuses on forums

Mister Vain · 15-10-2014 10:08PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Excellently put.

Those kind of people are funny. They obviously have trouble distinguishing between real life and the virtual world that the internet can be, but online dating is one of those exceptions where you can't get away with petty lies and deception if you actually intend to use it properly instead of wasting people's time by maintaining the lies to the point you meet in person, and at that stage it's just unfair on the other person as they might be too polite to give their opinion on how they feel being lied to before they even had their first meet. Would always be best to use Snapchat or Skype with someone before going out of your way to meet them I guess.

Well I got chatting to a girl on POF once and she asked me to Skype chat with her so I did. Twas going well till she lit up a fag.

the evasion_kid · 15-10-2014 10:19PM

I don't really understand how women can state this preference sure nearly everything about them is a lie...dyed hair,fake tan,nails,high heels,push up bras,make up. a lot of the time the woman you wake up to next in the morning is completely different to the one you went home with.

Mister Vain · 15-10-2014 10:21PM

the evasion_kid wrote: »

I don't really understand how women can state this preference sure nearly everything about them is a lie...dyed hair,fake tan,nails,high heels,push up bras,make up. a lot of the time the woman you wake up to next in the morning is completely different to the one you went home with.

You've been watching Chris Rock haven't you?

the evasion_kid · 15-10-2014 10:22PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

You've been watching Chris Rock haven't you?

It is true though

beks101 · 15-10-2014 10:27PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Those kind of people are funny. They obviously have trouble distinguishing between real life and the virtual world that the internet can be, but online dating is one of those exceptions where you can't get away with petty lies and deception if you actually intend to use it properly instead of wasting people's time by maintaining the lies to the point you meet in person, and at that stage it's just unfair on the other person as they might be too polite to give their opinion on how they feel being lied to before they even had their first meet. Would always be best to use Snapchat or Skype with someone before going out of your way to meet them I guess.

I think it's probably a combination of trying to give themselves the best possible chance - as no doubt it's a tough market and some women may dismiss a guy out of hand if he's "too short" - and an element of self-delusion, where they convince themselves it's 'not a big deal' and 'she/he'll get over it when they meet me' or whatever.

You can't win with this crowd either really, because if a woman meets up with a guy who has lied about height (and vice versa with a woman who's lied about her size, as an example), and it IS a dealbreaker, that person is then the 'bad guy' and the 'all women/men are shallow' etc because they're simply not attracted. Whereas they may not have gone as far as to agree to a date in the first place if they'd known the facts.

Mister Vain · 15-10-2014 10:27PM

the evasion_kid wrote: »

It is true though

When a man lies he's like, "I was at Tony's house."

When a woman lies she's like, "It's your baby."

DoYouEvenLift · 15-10-2014 10:33PM

the evasion_kid wrote: »

I don't really understand how women can state this preference sure nearly everything about them is a lie...dyed hair,fake tan,nails,high heels,push up bras,make up. a lot of the time the woman you wake up to next in the morning is completely different to the one you went home with.

With your username I'm wondering why you're still even with them in the morning

And not that all of them are exactly like that, but yeah, it's hilarious when those that are like that shout about wanting "real men".

Mister Vain · 15-10-2014 10:34PM

beks101 wrote: »

I think it's probably a combination of trying to give themselves the best possible chance - as no doubt it's a tough market and some women may dismiss a guy out of hand if he's "too short" - and an element of self-delusion, where they convince themselves it's 'not a big deal' and 'she/he'll get over it when they meet me' or whatever.

You can't win with this crowd either really, because if a woman meets up with a guy who has lied about height (and vice versa with a woman who's lied about her size, as an example), and it IS a dealbreaker, that person is then the 'bad guy' and the 'all women/men are shallow' etc because they're simply not attracted. Whereas they may not have gone as far as to agree to a date in the first place if they'd known the facts.

Well if a woman states she wants a man who is 5'8" or taller and the guy is 5'7" then he could give himself an extra inch. An inch here or there wouldn't be that noticeable. If a guy is 5'7" and says he's 6 foot, well that's a different story.

Same with jobs. You could say you're a manager instead of assistant manager. It's not a million miles off. Some people go too far though.

the evasion_kid · 15-10-2014 10:39PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Not that all of them are exactly like that, but yeah. It's hilarious when those that are like that shout about wanting "real men".

I prefer women with the au natural look,even looking at my own female family members getting done up up say for a wedding,first they go the hair salon,then to get their nails done then to a beautician....by the end of it there haircuts looks like the starship enterprise and the dresses they wear look like a bowl of fruit

beks101 · 15-10-2014 10:44PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Well if a woman states she wants a man who is 5'8" or taller and the guy is 5'7" then he could give himself an extra inch. An inch here or there wouldn't be that noticeable. If a guy is 5'7" and says he's 6 foot, well that's a different story.

Ah yeah. Kinda like the CV business. 'Stretching the truth' on certain previous work experience/duties/skills/hobbies etc - grand job. Fabricating entire lies and 'creating' previous job positions or degrees that you were nowhere near spitting distance of - good luck

the evasion_kid · 15-10-2014 10:48PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

With your username I'm wondering why you're still even with them in the morning

And not that all of them are exactly like that, but yeah, it's hilarious when those that are like that shout about wanting "real men".

Ive evaded many in my time....they used to call me the back wall kid

H3llR4iser · 16-10-2014 12:55PM

beks101 wrote: »

[CUT]
"Men lie about their height, women lie about their weight" is a good rule of thumb I've heard before.

[CUT]
"Curvy" body type as a misnomer for "quite heavy" is one example. Unless they see full-length body shots, a lot of men who clearly had a preference for slim women would be reluctant to believe a woman was curvaceous in the true sense of the word, as opposed to significantly overweight. Perhaps first dates where that was proved to be true had provoked that; and in the case of women (me included), it was significantly shorter men who claimed to be "5'10" or taller. Quite a lot of "6-footers" who were virtually at my eye-line when I met them and in heels I'd be no taller than 5'6.

You are right on the money there, it happens a lot. It's a bit silly how the "body types" are described.

On the height question, men do like - quite a bit. However, if you're 5'6" and wearing 5" heels, you get up to 5'11"...it stands to reason you'll be eye level with somebody who's 6'

Balmed Out · 16-10-2014 01:03PM

beks101 wrote: »

"Men lie about their height, women lie about their weight" is a good rule of thumb I've heard before.

Ive found women are often mistaken about their height. I remember being at a friends 30th (doing the maths this is about 7 years ago). Hes shortish but not very like 5' 7 or 5' 8. I dont remember how the conversation came up but one of the girls mentioned how she was taller then him, after measuring against each other she wasn't. Turns out of the 8 or 9 girls one was taller then him, one the same but nearly all of them thought they were taller then him.

beks101 · 16-10-2014 01:25PM

H3llR4iser wrote: »

You are right on the money there, it happens a lot. It's a bit silly how the "body types" are described.

On the height question, men do like - quite a bit. However, if you're 5'6" and wearing 5" heels, you get up to 5'11"...it stands to reason you'll be eye level with somebody who's 6'

I added 5" to my actual height there...most 10 year olds are taller than me

bluestrattos · 16-10-2014 01:38PM

let me just say 2 things:

1. In this discussion everyone uses imperial over metric... Why is that?

2. If my self-esteem was based in this thread it would be near zero, since I'm 1.93m (or 6ft4 for the ones not familiar with the metric system) and not once I've seen women screaming and chasing me saying "Look it's George Clooney only taller!!!"

skallywag · 16-10-2014 01:48PM

bluestrattos wrote: »

In this discussion everyone uses imperial over metric... Why is that?

I think Ireland is still a long way from feeling comfortable with the metric system. If ppl ask me my weight / height etc I would always respond in terms of Kgs / Metres, but invariably nobody ever seems to get it, need to convert to stone / feet.

fits · 16-10-2014 01:50PM

Just try using 'stones' outside UK/Ireland. Noone has a clue what that means.

kiffer · 16-10-2014 03:45PM

bluestrattos wrote: »

let me just say 2 things:

1. In this discussion everyone uses imperial over metric... Why is that?

2. If my self-esteem was based in this thread it would be near zero, since I'm 1.93m (or 6ft4 for the ones not familiar with the metric system) and not once I've seen women screaming and chasing me saying "Look it's George Clooney only taller!!!"

1. I find people in Ireland shift back and forth from metric to imperial depending on what they are talking about... people's height and weight are in feet and stone, but not in pounds, some food is measured in grams, beer and milk are in pints but fuels are in litres.

2. I doubt it would, as at 6'4'' your self esteem would be damaged by a thread that largely confirms the "women prefer taller men" idea. Of course women aren't chasing you raving about your height, these things a slightly subtler than that... like when people say they like people who can make them laugh and then strangly laugh at almost anything remotely funny the person they have a crush on says...

People generally don't do a detailed analysis of why they fancy who they fancy. The extra height is an advantage, I'm only ~182cm, which is enough above average* that it gets complimented.

*wiki says average Irish adult male height is 177cm (5'10'') but that's self reported. I'm seeing 5'7'' elsewhere... which seems low.

Interesting links.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/healthandlife/relationships/size-really-does-matter-when-it-comes-to-mens-height-261075.html

http://www.growtaller4idiots.com/?hop=catardat

Mike747 · 16-10-2014 03:45PM

bluestrattos wrote: »

let me just say 2 things:

1. In this discussion everyone uses imperial over metric... Why is that?

2. If my self-esteem was based in this thread it would be near zero, since I'm 1.93m (or 6ft4 for the ones not familiar with the metric system) and not once I've seen women screaming and chasing me saying "Look it's George Clooney only taller!!!"

Women must notice you though. Height is a tremendous advantage for men.

skallywag · 16-10-2014 03:55PM

kiffer wrote: »

*wiki says average Irish adult male height is 177cm (5'10'') but that's self reported. I'm seeing 5'7'' elsewhere... which seems low.

My gut feeling would be that 177cm / 5 foot 10 inch is about right.

kiffer · 16-10-2014 04:01PM

skallywag wrote: »

My gut feeling would be that 177cm / 5 foot 10 inch is about right.

It's self reported so totally suspect.
and we notice outliers more than than average people so we can be a bit crap at gut feelings when it comes to stats.
also I'm 182 in bare feet, in my boots I'm 6'1"... which do I report when I am reporting height for a survey?

newport2 · 16-10-2014 04:03PM

skallywag wrote: »

My gut feeling would be that 177cm / 5 foot 10 inch is about right.

I'd say it's about right for the younger generation in Ireland, but I think it's too high for men across the board.

Oregano_State · 16-10-2014 04:12PM

I was living with a lad in college who was obsessed with his height, and constantly made references to himself being short. This guy was about 5'8", so not tiny by any means, and he also did very well with women. In fairness though a lot of the other lads in our group of friends used to slag him constantly about his height once they found out he was sensitive about it, so that probably contributed to it. However, it was definitely him that started the whole thing off by constantly mentioning it.

I would say that his own insecurity over it was his main problem. I had known him for years before university and would never have thought of him as being small until it became the running joke at college.

Lux23 · 16-10-2014 04:15PM

newport2 wrote: »

I'd say it's about right for the younger generation in Ireland, but I think it's too high for men across the board.

I am an inch smaller than I was at 19, very odd to think that you begin shrinking so young.

Potatoeman · 16-10-2014 05:23PM

Lux23 wrote: »

I am an inch smaller than I was at 19, very odd to think that you begin shrinking so young.

Ive heard your taller in the morning. Apparently gravity and posture make you smaller by night.

Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

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