Due August 2014

Fiona sorry to hear you have been unwell hope your on the mend now. Glad the wee man is doing good for you.

I think no matter how long you try for or what hurdles you have to overcome to have that longed for baby your still entitled to feel frustrated.

My own mum tried for 7 years had ivf and then ended up adopting me. She said there were times she just stood at the window while I screamed waiting on dad to come home from the night shift.

staticdoor71 wrote: »

We are having an utter nightmare with noah :-(

I'm on the verge of leaving him on a doorstep :-(

He goes through these ibouts of ear piercing inconsolable roaring crying

For example yesterday went like this ....
Sunday night 11pm had a six oz bottle was 2 am before he shushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhed and went to sleep. Up again for a feed at 4am. Slept till his next bottle at 9.30 am. Slept till his next bottle at 1 pm. Then went nuts again . He had 3 oz at 5pm. 4 oz at 8pm. And woke for next bottle at midnight...
then midnight to 4am he didn't stop. ..

We are both exhausted... This is every night.. He's asleep now. But daughter is up and ready for action.
you can nearly set your watch by him for his 2 bouts of roaring :-(

I've him on cow and gate comfort.. He's weeing and pooing and passing wind both ends. .

I just need to sleep :-(

To top it all off my youngest sister (21) was diagnosed with lymphoma 2 hrs before he was born and starts her chemo today... so my whole family have been so pre occupied. It's just been a really hard three weeks :-(

Rant over

Oh gosh, that's really tough on you, especially with the concern you have for your sister. One of my nephews was similar, just roared nonstop as a newborn. His parents managed to deal with it only by reassuring themselves that there was nothing actually wrong with him - hunger, temperature, nappy, injury... - and simply forced themselves to tune out. They took it in turns to be the person comforting him but just accepted that no matter what they did, he was likely still going to roar, so the goal was no longer to stop him crying and they felt less like they were 'failing' once they accepted that. I have no idea if that is an approach that might suit you but I know it helped them get through until he outgrew it. It is so tough though, I used to come home from an hour visit in their house stressed out myself. I really hope something works out for you.

so sorry to hear about your sister, please god all will be well staticdoor. It's not surprising you feel so drained, i'm sure you're emotionally and physically exhausted right now. Worrying about someone you love really drains your energy.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I do remember holding my 3rd baby when she was 6 weeks of age and going through a similar pattern of inconsolable roaring with me in tears saying to my husband "I can't do this anymore", it is very hard to bond with a crying baby when you're all the time exhausted and you have other demanding children wanting mommy time too. All my hubbie could say to me at the time was "Look, time will pass, you'll get through it"... not as good as Dr. Phil I know, but by 12 weeks of age the pointless roaring had almost stopped. You'll get there too. Sending well wishes your way, you have a lot on your plate.

llambert wrote: »

Ah Lucuma God love you. You must be going demented with the tiredness. The only thing that gets me though is been able to sleep when they do. It must be terrible to not be able to do that. It was great that your hubby could do that. He'll have to do it more often cos there's no way you can continue like this long term.

I felt exactly how you do now. If you're like me you'll probably be a little confused by this. As we met on the ttc thread we went on a journey to get these little people. The reality is a real shocker. I felt really bad complaining about how hard motherhood is but then said to myself that just because I worked so hard to get them doesn't mean I can't complain about the hardship that goes with having them.

Even though I loved them to bits it's only now that I'm starting to enjoy them.

I promise that once Meave gets to 6 or 7 weeks you'll turn a corner. I'm only a month ahead of you but it really is getting easier with each week x x

Ah llambert, thank you so much for this post, it made me cry!
My hubby is working abroad, I decided in my wisdom that it would be better for me to be here at home with my Mam (and Dad...and brothers & sisters etc all living nearby) than to be over with him for these few months. Boy was that a mistake! He was never happy about the plan but I insisted on it...he was around last weekend and it was so fantastic, but so horrible since he's left :-( I think I'm going to have to move over there to where he is asap. He's back here again this weekend so we'll get the bits & pieces signed in the garda station on Sat & I'll go in and order a passport for her on Monday! It takes 10 working days apparently.

Llambert that's it exactly, after craving a baby so much and all the hard work we had to put in to get one, I now find myself occassionally wishing I could go back to my old life and would give anything to get my full night's sleep and my freedom back, then I feel so horribly guilty for feeling that way about our beautiful baby girl that we wanted so much! It's music to my ears to hear you all say it gets easier after a certain time period. I've been breastfeeding as well but I decided today that as it precludes my Mam from covering for me the odd night (which she has offered a few times) and it also makes it hard for hubby to do the same - he did it last Saturday and not doing the night feeds had a bad affect on my supply for 2 days afterwards :-( So given the extreme circumstances I think I'm going to switch to bottles for the night time feeds anyway.

Fiona-f I was really sore again 5 weeks after my section. It felt like it was more my muscles. It was sore to get out of bed if I was lying really flat. It lasted nearly a week but I'm grand again. God that was awful to end up back in hospital hope you're on the mend now x x

Static so sorry to hear about your sister. Awful news to get at anytime but in the middle of trying to cope with a new baby must be really tough on you. One of mine had that brain drilling crying. Even though he got up wind it was always difficult. I started him on infacol. Even though he doesn't get an more wind up than he did or is any easier, he's not cross in the evenings like he was.

Lucuma I know there are massive advantages to bf but don't not at the sake of your own health. You need to sleep!!! Do what's best for you and your situation. Think it's a great idea to move back to where the hubby is. Lovely to have family around but you're in this together so its good for him to see what you go through & help out. Plus sure he misses his two lovely ladies. Sorry I made you cry x x

Got my first post pregnancy period. Have eaten my weight in chocolate. The pains.....oh how did I forget.

Static you're doing nothing wrong. Both of mine like 2 demons tonight. Neighbours must think I'm killing them. My 2 eyes are hanging out of my head with tiredness. Going to stuff 6oz into them now and pray they sleep........

He's just gone to sleep
Awake since midnight

Hubby sent me to bed at one. But he was crying so much I didn't sleep and got up and sent him to bed cuz he can sleep thru anything and someone needs to be able for daughter getting up at 8

Going to bring him to doc later. Make sure there's nothing medically wrong with either of us

Oh static door my heart goes out to you & Noah, so hard to listen to a crying baby but for hours on end, would have anyone at breaking point. Hope your visit to the doc is helpful, it'd be so much easier if the little babies could tell us where it hurts

Staticdoor I'm sorry your having a hard time with the wee man at the minute. I hope the doctor can give you some answers.

X

Just a question for bottle feeders - My lo falls asleep after every feed, is that the same with a bottle fed baby? All she pretty much does is sleeps and eats (she's 3 weeks old). Also I haven't a clue how to get a baby to sleep after a bottle.....with the breastfeeding I always feed in the lying down position in bed and she falls asleep, then I move her to the moses basket. How does it work with a bottle fed baby? Any tips welcome, thanks.

Bottle fed babies can fall asleep during a feed or winding.

I found when your putting them down they are half awake but once tummy is full and baby is happy the grunt and goo & ga a bit then sleep.

I'd love a nights sleep Evie is back waking at 3,5,7 only going down at 11/12. Think my supply is dropping so she's feeding to counter that

20 minutes at a time is a big bonus - in the early weeks my guy could regularly do an hour on each boob - his record was 75 minutes on one side on my first ever tie feeding him in public, I thought I would never leave that cafe! Your boy must be much more effective!

Ah more babies I feel your pain. My mil and sil kept on at me about getting her christened and money was too tight for a afters so I finally said belt away you organise it and all the food.

Oh how sorry I was when they actually did! It was very generous and I appreciated it but a night on my mil floor did little to improve my humour. Cvbbnb

Stand your ground morebabies cos even if your mil provides food my bet is that you'll end up spending something. Plus all the tiding up afters.

Myself and hubby are in hot discussions here too about the christening. We don't want anything big. If I didn't have grandparents in their late 80's I would of had it here in Galway with a little get together back at our house. It's too far for them to travel so we're having it in Wexford. We're going out for lunch after. Only close family and friends but its still working out very expensive. Its money we'd be stretching too have.

My hubby works in mangement in the hotel trade. He has very exacting standards so there'll be no way he'd scrimp on this. I might aswell bang my head off the wall. I get the whole celebrating the day and the boys. I know he really wants this cos we never thought
we'd have this day.

I just can think of loads more we would do with it. In December we'll have to pay the fertility clinic another €800 for the annual freezing charge. We have one embryo from our last cycle that we can use if we decide to try again without me going thought the whole ivf cycle. Plus we'll have the expense of Christmas.

Llambert we travelled from wicklow to Louth for ours as that's where we are from my grandparents are Belfast so we met halfway!

I work in the hotel industry myself so have normally gotten us good deals on functions but I just let them organise it this time!