How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

candy-gal1 · 04-08-2014 01:42AM

Magaggie wrote: »

Why does it have to be like "the real world"? When it's family, a bit of leeway is hardly too much to ask. Proportionate share of bills, food and other household costs is plenty to be contributing.

Maybe bear in mind other families don't have as much money as your family? And I say that as someone from a comfortably off background. Once you move out, it's not your room in your home anyway. It's your parents' home and the bedroom in your parents' house. I think parents should let their children move back in with them whenever their children need to - I hate that draconian "Out the door at 18" stuff, but they don't own the home either.
Whatever about rent, would you not think an adult earning a full-time wage should contribute towards electricity, heating, TV, internet, food, other household expenses? Seems scrounging to avail of them but pay nothing towards them.

Why? Not even bills?

Well particularly high bills that were from a period where you know youve used most of it, if you were at home most of the time that month etc etc, or if its a bill for something only you use or use the most then yeah a contribution or full payment to bills would be approprate, but other than that Id have to say no tbh

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 01:42AM

AdamD wrote: »

Where has this notion that if you don't contribute money when you're growing up that you'll be careless with money later in life? Bollocks

No idea, It will be down to education being able to budget, You learn all that in school. People from any background can be terrible with money. Could be poor impulse control or addiction loads of different reasons.

Young Blood · 04-08-2014 01:45AM

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

I never had to hand up and was perfectly capable of surviving on my own with everything paid on time.

I never coughed up anything either. I was paying for school uniforms myself since I started secondary school by selling GAA programmes and doing summer work with the FCA.

I also cycled everywhere with a bicycle I bought yet the women of my househould seemed to be taxied everywhere from school to clubs

I figured by the time I was in my late teens I would give them nothing.

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 01:47AM

€100 p/w is ****ing madness. I'd move out if that was the case.
I agree that it's good to throw in if you're earning, but it's not vital in all circumstances, like if you're a young college student and you're trying to save for the year.

I have friends who don't contribute, but they're working to have money for college and they're not reliant on the parents for anything other than living at home. The parents are happy because they're around, they enjoy their company, but they're not so much of a financial burden that they cause issue, and they won't be getting money from the parents during the year.

I've payed for bills and food when needs be, as well as for other things. Back when I had decent hours I didn't care, but for those saying they should be giving huge amounts of money to make them see what the real world is like is a bit over the top.
If I payed 40% of my earnings to live in my own home I wouldn't have been able to pay for college myself, move out, and have enough saved to float me by without needing to ask for money. The way I cut it, I was able to contribute a bit regularly while still sorting out the rest. Even if I didn't contribute, isn't it a massive thing in itself that I was 100% financial independent and responsible for my own 3rd level education? Big savings on mom and dad there.

It's a long road. Just because you didn't hand anything up while you were in college with a job doesn't mean you're a mooch. You can give back very generously when you're fully qualified and working down the line.
My siblings and I often throw in to give the parents a holiday or something -it's not 100% equal all the time because I can't afford to always match them, but it'll be easier for me to do more when I'm done and working fully in future.
So it's really not a big deal, even if some people here might think I'm not pulling my weight.

The only time I would agree if you're done with your education, there's nothing draining you in that way, you're working, and you have the capability of being 100% financially secure and independent -then sure, pay some rent. It's only fair.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 01:51AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

€100 p/w is ****ing madness. (.......)

It's not about students, It's about grown adults living in the family home that work. Well that's what most people have taken from the OP. I would be interested to know were people would live that was cheaper than the 100 pw, and just move out because of some poor judgement of wanting to keep all their wage.

Chain_reaction · 04-08-2014 01:58AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

It's not about students, It's about grown adults living in the family home that work. Well that's what most people have taken from the OP. I would be interested to know were people would live that was cheaper than the 100 pw, and just move out because of some poor judgement of wanting to keep all their wage.

In a house share in a very nice part (exspensive rental area) of Dublin, its also a very nice house. Makes more sense for him/her to move out if it's going to be 100 pw tbh. If you want your child to move out treat them as a lodger/stranger though as the above poster has been suggesting.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 02:02AM

Chain_reaction wrote: »

In a house share in a very nice part (exspensive rental area) of Dublin, its also a very nice house. Makes more sense for him/her to move out if it's going to be 100 pw tbh. If you want your child to move out treat them as a lodger though as the above poster has been suggesting.

In the eye's of mammy yes, but in reality a grown adult that is working. If they are using €100 in utilities food and so on, Then they have to pay €100 Most people have said for the person to pay their share. Not give more.

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 02:04AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

It's not about students, It's about grown adults living in the family home that work. Well that's what most people have taken from the OP. I would be interested to know were people would live that was cheaper than the 100 pw, and just move out because of some poor judgement of wanting to keep all their wage.

The thread is gone on to talk about people expecting young people just out of school to pay their share -so much so to go on to say they should be doing it, forgetting their are other circumstances and that it is a long road.

Some people who might've thrown money down for rent while at home might not chip in to treat their parents down the line or be as generous back to them, while the ones that didn't, now that they're in a position to be more given do so regularly. I know some of my cousins who are very, very generous to their parents in return.
And in the long run, don't they both equal each other anyway?

I wouldn't move out if it was under €100 a week, if it was €100 a week I'd be gone, I'd rather put a bit extra with it and have my independence. Paying that much to live at home without your privacy and own space isn't worth it to me.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 02:09AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

The thread is gone on to talk about people expecting young people just out of school to pay their share -so much so to go on to say they should be doing it, forgetting their are other circumstances and that it is a long road.

Some people who might've thrown money down for rent while at home might not chip in to treat their parents down the line or be as generous back to them, while the ones that didn't, now that they're in a position to be more given do so regularly. I know some of my cousins who are very, very generous to their parents in return.
And in the long run, don't they both equal each other anyway?

I wouldn't move out if it was under €100 a week, if it was €100 a week I'd be gone, I'd rather put a bit extra with it and have my independence. Paying that much to live at home without your privacy and own space isn't worth it to me.

A bit extra ? Your going to be in a house share if your thinking that way. Independent yes, Privacy only in your bedroom/bathroom Just like at home. If people think you can rent a place in this day and age for just under €100 pw there is something seriously wrong. That's even before bills.

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 02:15AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

A bit extra ? Your going to be in a house share if your thinking that way. Independent yes, Privacy only in your bedroom/bathroom Just like at home. If people think you can rent a place in this day and age for just under €100 pw there is something seriously wrong. That's even before bills.

My college accommodation says hello. Yes I'm living with a few other people, but the only thing I have to pay for is food -everything else is sorted in that €100 p/w.

Plus I still have way more freedom than living at home. Can bring who I want home without being quiet and I still have my own stake in the place to have an equal say. Even if you paid equal rent to your parents, it's still their place and always will be.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 02:17AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

My college accommodation says hello. Yes I'm living with a few other people, but the only thing I have to pay for is food -everything else is sorted in that €100 p/w.

Plus I still have way more freedom than living at home. Can bring who I want home without being quiet and I still have my own stake in the place to have an equal say. Even if you paid equal rent to your parents, it's still their place and always will be.

I'm sure it does, Will you still be renting that when you finish college ?

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 02:24AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

I'm sure it does, Will you still be renting that when you finish college ?

You can rent in the area on that too. It's a house, not really a student place at all, so it's an option considering I'll try not to move back home.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 02:26AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

You can rent in the area on that too. It's a house, not really a student place at all, so it's an option considering I'll try not to move back home.

Fair enough how many people ? And I'm guessing its not Dublin.

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 02:30AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Fair enough how many people ? And I'm guessing its not Dublin.

4 including me. And no, not Dublin.

shruikan2553 · 04-08-2014 02:34AM

AdamD wrote: »

Where has this notion that if you don't contribute money when you're growing up that you'll be careless with money later in life? Bollocks

Dont see it myself. When I started college I had no problems working with the simple addition and subtraction. Even did the odd multiplying and division. Wasn't exactly rocket science.

h2005 · 04-08-2014 02:42AM

Unless you've a mortgage I think splitting all bills is fair.

04-08-2014 02:45AM

How long would they be at home for before ya's want them to keep their end up? Like a month visit in the summer would be different to a full time?

WinnyThePoo · 04-08-2014 03:01AM

I give 60. Im on a jobbridge so i have close to 200 coming in a week.

Frank Lee Midere · 04-08-2014 03:04AM

Awkward Badger wrote: »

If there is rent to be paid or a mortgage they should contribute to that. Otherwise I don't really see a need to make them pay rent to live in what is their home.

Their home? Nonsense. They don't own it.

04-08-2014 03:40AM

Sure my parents want me at home rent free now coz (touches wood) (god forbid) they are in a state when older I'll be there to take care of them

Annasopra · 04-08-2014 10:36AM

Glock Lesnar wrote: »

This.

Not a chance my Dad would ever hear of charging me to sleep in my own bed, he knows I'll be gone after college and he's more than happy to support me until then.

Thats different. You are in college and not working full time.

Annasopra · 04-08-2014 10:39AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

€100 p/w is ****ing madness. I'd move out if that was the case.

We're discussing adults who are full time employees not students.

Recondite49 · 04-08-2014 10:48AM

Quite amused by all the people who say they were able to save up and pay bills 'despite' their parents not charging them rent - of course you have more money to spare, you don't have to buy essentials, you're not getting any medals for that.

If you want to help your kids, like I said, charge them an amount they would realistically pay if they renting their own place - you can always keep some back to give them when they finally move on.

This was a big issue when I graduated shortly before the 2008 recession - a whole generation of 'boomerang kids' who live at 'home' (now actually someone else's house).

There's nothing wrong with this in itself, I did this for a short time but it was a stepping stone, not a crutch or stopgap.

€150 a week is fair for someone on the minimum wage. If as a parent you put 100 towards essentials and keep 50 back- that means after six months you'll have 1200 to pay towards the deposit and first month's rent on a house share or apartment.

That means after six months you can enable your adult child to take control of their own life.

Of course if your kid wants to save more than this out of their wages and move out sooner, so much the better! :-)

Recondite49 · 04-08-2014 10:52AM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

We're discussing adults who are full time employees not students.

Well said Joey, also this emphasises the point that others have made earlier, myself included - if the parent doesn't charge something in line with the cost of living then the adult child hasn't much incentive to move out.

However as I said, there's nothing preventing the parent from putting a portion of that money aside e.g into a savings account to help their child move into their own place when the time comes.

04-08-2014 10:58AM

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Favouritism towards the lads. Bought their food, toiletries, dinners cooked, washing done, bought petrol for their cars, bought them new beds...while my brothers were able to afford holidays, drink and cars.

The girls had to pay up, pay bills, buy food, so we were tenants in our own home and there was a time I had to buy myself a new bed...that a was a landlord's responsibility!

When myself and my sister moved out, my mother actually struggled with money, so much that she went to my sister and got a loan to pay for the oil fill. A loan that my sister never saw again. Yet, if she took €6 a week of the three brothers it would have covered the oil bill.

That should never have happened. I believe in paying what I owe in life, and living at home is no different but it should be the same for everybody.

Similar thing happened to me. I paid for everything, my brother had everything paid for him. This is when we were teenagers up until end of college. He is still in college actually.

But I think this was due to him being lazy and not finding a job. And he is the youngest. And not really capable of doing much himself.

My mothers excuse was always "but he doesn't have a part time job!". He could have easily got one...

Guffy · 04-08-2014 11:01AM

For the love of god charge him a third of earnings. Let him get used to it now rather than years down the line. The car is his own thing.

Neon_Lights · 04-08-2014 11:01AM

Say about €60 a week base then get him to contribute to anything like shopping or bills that are surplus to requirements

helimachoptor · 04-08-2014 11:02AM

Magaggie wrote: »

That I don't agree with. Either extreme in this debate baffles me tbh.

I don't think that's extreme, once you're a "grown up" when you add in rent, gas, electricity, food, TV, BB etc that in a lot of cases will be more than 30%.

And those bills still have to be paid if you are on hols! As I said it's been a good lesson my savings are in the 6 figures because I have budgeted since I was 15

Recondite49 · 04-08-2014 11:06AM

helimachoptor wrote: »

I don't think that's extreme, once you're a "grown up" when you add in rent, gas, electricity, food, TV, BB etc that in a lot of cases will be more than 30%.

And those bills still have to be paid if you are on hols! As I said it's been a good lesson my savings are in the 6 figures because I have budgeted since I was 15

Nice one helim, you're an inspiration to us all! :-)

helimachoptor · 04-08-2014 11:11AM

I also bought a house during the boom.. I'm not that safe a bet!

How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

Comments