How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

irishfeen · 03-08-2014 10:00PM

Ha €40 and they are lucky to get it ... its their privilege that I hang around

orchidsrpretty · 03-08-2014 10:06PM

jonny666 wrote: »

I was made hand up 1/3 of what I earned to housekeep. I'm better for it too. Friends who had to give nothing struggled to adapt to living out of home. Always late / missing rent and so on. I don't know would

I don't really get this argument. I never gave anything to my parent for living at home and was able to buy my own house when I was 23,I have put myself through a 3 year full time college course and had holidays every year. I have never missed a mortgage payment.I earn pennies at the moment but I still know how to prioritise my earnings. I think parents wanting to gouge their children when they start earning might even end up holding the kids back in the long run.
My siblings are pretty much the same aswell. never paid rent at home and are managing their money just fine.

darkpagandeath · 03-08-2014 10:10PM

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I don't really get this argument. I never gave anything to my parent for living at home and was able to buy my own house when I was 23,I have put myself through a 3 year full time college course and had holidays every year. I have never missed a mortgage payment.I earn pennies at the moment but I still know how to prioritise my earnings. I think parents wanting to gouge their children when they start earning might even end up holding the kids back in the long run.
My siblings are pretty much the same aswell. never paid rent at home and are managing their money just fine.

So bringing you/me up to the age of 18 was free for them ? Most parents just want a person who is earning a wage to pay their fare share in the cost of running the family home. Would you let a person stay in your house for free for years if they were working ?

acon2119 · 03-08-2014 10:18PM

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I don't really get this argument. I never gave anything to my parent for living at home and was able to buy my own house when I was 23,I have put myself through a 3 year full time college course and had holidays every year. I have never missed a mortgage payment.I earn pennies at the moment but I still know how to prioritise my earnings. I think parents wanting to gouge their children when they start earning might even end up holding the kids back in the long run.
My siblings are pretty much the same aswell. never paid rent at home and are managing their money just fine.

“Gouge their children” seriously get real. No parent is trying to profit from their children, most parents would give up their life for their children, the reality is that a lot of families don't have the luxury of choosing whether they need their children to help towards paying for their keep, its a matter of trying to make ends meet.

candy-gal1 · 03-08-2014 10:26PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

So bringing you/me up to the age of 18 was free for them ? Most parents just want a person who is earning a wage to pay their fare share in the cost of running the family home. Would you let a person stay in your house for free for years if they were working ?

Tbh, and I get your point there, but were not talking about a random person staying in your house as a flatmate/roommate etc, were talking about your children who you chose to have/take care of etc and having children is a choice yes?
So, you dont actually know how long you may have to "look after" / house your kids and to what age tbh, especially in this current climate, we all assume that you have children, you care for them and pay for them till their about 18/21/23 pending on circumstances then their gone out on their own but youve no idea really

Thats yet another reason, imho, why having children is one of the few biggest decisions youll ever make in your life to which you cant take back, so you must be prepared for this eventuality

acon2119 · 03-08-2014 10:33PM

candy-gal1 wrote: »

Tbh, and I get your point there, but were not talking about a random person staying in your house as a flatmate/roommate etc, were talking about your children who you chose to have/take care of etc and having children is a choice yes?
So, you dont actually know how long you may have to "look after" / house your kids and to what age tbh, especially in this current climate, we all assume that you have children, you care for them and pay for them till their about 18/21/23 pending on circumstances then their gone out on their own but youve no idea really

Thats yet another reason, imho, why having children is one of the few biggest decisions youll ever make in your life to which you cant take back, so you must be prepared for this eventuality

But really we're only talking about grownup children who have completed their education and are earning money for a reasonable amount of hrs per week. I planned my children and very much wanted them and take my responsibilities very seriously, but I think the argument is that any grown up that's earning money should pay towards their keep, this is not about parents abandoning their children

darkpagandeath · 03-08-2014 10:34PM

candy-gal1 wrote: »

Tbh, and I get your point there, but were not talking about a random person staying in your house as a flatmate/roommate etc, were talking about your children who you chose to have/take care of etc and having children is a choice yes?
So, you dont actually know how long you may have to "look after" / house your kids and to what age tbh, especially in this current climate, we all assume that you have children, you care for them and pay for them till their about 18/21/23 pending on circumstances then their gone out on their own but youve no idea really

Thats yet another reason, imho, why having children is one of the few biggest decisions youll ever make in your life to which you cant take back, so you must be prepared for this eventuality

I think you will find if you go and stay with your siblings go out live it up and then contribute 0 to the running of the house, You would be out on your ear very fast. You can't expect your parents just to suck it up, If you earn you pay it's that simple. Its tbh common courtesy to pay.

candy-gal1 · 03-08-2014 10:40PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

I think you will find if you go and stay with your siblings go out live it up and then contribute 0 to the running of the house, You would be out on your ear very fast. You can't expect your parents just to suck it up, If you earn you pay it's that simple. Its tbh common courtesy to pay.

Oh yes, I agree there, I mean if all your food/cooking/cleaning etc is taken care of at home and therefore you dont have to do anything around the house unless asked or it being your own mess then a contribution to housekeeping would be expected even to just cover food and part of bills like 50e but if your taking care of yourself in most ways at home and buying all you need yourself and paying for any bills that only you yourself is using or using most of then I dont really see why you should pay housekeeping/rent to your parents as well

03-08-2014 10:40PM

JerCotter7 wrote: »

Everytime this topic comes up I am amazed. I have never heard anyone talking about paying to live at home. Most parents I know just love to have their kids at home. If I said it to my parents they would just laugh at me.

+100

Never heard of people paying to live in their own home in their own room until I say threads about it on here. It very much surprised me that it happens.

There is no way I'd be allowed to pay "rent" if I was living at home (nor did I when I lived at home), if I tried I'd find it transferred back into my account.

candy-gal1 · 03-08-2014 10:45PM

acon2119 wrote: »

But really we're only talking about grownup children who have completed their education and are earning money for a reasonable amount of hrs per week. I planned my children and very much wanted them and take my responsibilities very seriously, but I think the argument is that any grown up that's earning money should pay towards their keep, this is not about parents abandoning their children

Im not saying about abandoning children or anything, just the fact that this may happen in the future for anyone who has kids and the only soltion in some cases is either get them to pay for themselves whilst at home and not pay housekeeping/rent, make it a must to pay some form of rent or else theyre out

imho, I still think its a tad much to ask your children grown up as they may be, to pay rent/housekeeping in their family home that theyve grown up in, unless you either really really need the money and cant survive without it or you think that your now grown up child may just live at home forever with no real want to live on their own, in those circumstances then thats a whole lot different

LETHAL LADY · 03-08-2014 10:59PM

I come from a big family and while we were never asked to contribute we all did so once we started earning. I remember the poverty of the 80s and my parents having to beg, borrow and steal (not really but you know what I mean) to feed and dress us and to keep a roof over our heads. I was happy to help my parents out when I could finally afford to.
I don't think it is a big ask to get adult children living at home and earning money to contribute financially to the household.

Mint Sauce · 03-08-2014 11:18PM

Magaggie wrote: »

Irish mammy syndrome "We can't be getting the poor craythurs to pay us something!"

In fairness though, we all had irish mammies. Maybe its just a society/cultural thing.

IvaBigWun · 03-08-2014 11:45PM

Thread badly needs poll.

Annasopra · 03-08-2014 11:49PM

JerCotter7 wrote: »

Everytime this topic comes up I am amazed. I have never heard anyone talking about paying to live at home. Most parents I know just love to have their kids at home. If I said it to my parents they would just laugh at me.

I paid money when living at home. I cant understand people who wouldnt.

Annasopra · 03-08-2014 11:53PM

gstack166 wrote: »

€80-€100 out of €300 a week? You're a mad man. It's a bed they are paying for, not a rent boy, you're in the wrong thread.

Em. She pays for his food. His electricity use. His TV and internet Use. His rubbish. Not just a bed ffs

helimachoptor · 03-08-2014 11:57PM

jonny666 wrote: »

I was made hand up 1/3 of what I earned to housekeep. I'm better for it too. Friends who had to give nothing struggled to adapt to living out of home. Always late / missing rent and so on. I don't know would

Yep same here, 30% each week even if I was in a diff country on holidays! That was from 15-22 when I moved out, definitely one of the best lessons growing up. For an adult.. Simething similar tbh....

Drexel · 04-08-2014 12:30AM

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I don't really get this argument. I never gave anything to my parent for living at home and was able to buy my own house when I was 23,I have put myself through a 3 year full time college course and had holidays every year. I have never missed a mortgage payment.I earn pennies at the moment but I still know how to prioritise my earnings. I think parents wanting to gouge their children when they start earning might even end up holding the kids back in the long run.
My siblings are pretty much the same aswell. never paid rent at home and are managing their money just fine.

I didn't say everyone was like that. This was like two or three friends. It was more then paying rent. Their mother pampered them. Couldn't clean cook nothing.

D_turbo · 04-08-2014 12:38AM

I was giving around 40€ a week that was food and rent. Basic food..anything out of the norm was up to my self. Eg junk food and bits like gel and what not.

Split the esb 3 ways when it came and same with internet.

Galwayguy35 · 04-08-2014 12:39AM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

+100

Never heard of people paying to live in their own home in their own room until I say threads about it on here. It very much surprised me that it happens.

There is no way I'd be allowed to pay "rent" if I was living at home (nor did I when I lived at home), if I tried I'd find it transferred back into my account.

Sounds like you had a very pampered life.

Money was tight in our home, my parents ofton struggled to make ends meet but they managed so when I started working at 18 I paid my share.

I was paying 50 quid a week and saw no issue in doing so.

professore · 04-08-2014 12:42AM

This is why people walked into €2000 + p/m mortgages in the Celtic tiger days. Never had to manage money themselves. Always had mammy and daddy to bail them out. Well mammy and daddy don't live forever ....

Shakespeare's Sister · 04-08-2014 12:42AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Do people in the real world get to chose how much of their wage goes on bills rent and so on ? No. That thinking is like wanting to keep the majority of the money to spend as they chose. People in the real world don’t get to do that. They get to use what's left after bills rent and all that.

Why does it have to be like "the real world"? When it's family, a bit of leeway is hardly too much to ask. Proportionate share of bills, food and other household costs is plenty to be contributing.

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

+100

Never heard of people paying to live in their own home in their own room until I say threads about it on here. It very much surprised me that it happens.

There is no way I'd be allowed to pay "rent" if I was living at home (nor did I when I lived at home), if I tried I'd find it transferred back into my account.

Maybe bear in mind other families don't have as much money as your family? And I say that as someone from a comfortably off background. Once you move out, it's not your room in your home anyway. It's your parents' home and the bedroom in your parents' house. I think parents should let their children move back in with them whenever their children need to - I hate that draconian "Out the door at 18" stuff, but they don't own the home either.
Whatever about rent, would you not think an adult earning a full-time wage should contribute towards electricity, heating, TV, internet, food, other household expenses? Seems scrounging to avail of them but pay nothing towards them.

candy-gal1 wrote: »

I still think its a tad much to ask your children grown up as they may be, to pay rent/housekeeping in their family home that theyve grown up in

Why? Not even bills?

Shakespeare's Sister · 04-08-2014 12:44AM

helimachoptor wrote: »

Yep same here, 30% each week even if I was in a diff country on holidays!

That I don't agree with. Either extreme in this debate baffles me tbh.

Glock Lesnar · 04-08-2014 12:44AM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

+100

Never heard of people paying to live in their own home in their own room until I say threads about it on here. It very much surprised me that it happens.

There is no way I'd be allowed to pay "rent" if I was living at home (nor did I when I lived at home), if I tried I'd find it transferred back into my account.

This.

Not a chance my Dad would ever hear of charging me to sleep in my own bed, he knows I'll be gone after college and he's more than happy to support me until then.

Johnnio13 · 04-08-2014 12:46AM

Myself and most of my friends paid something. I paid twenty quid a week on 80 I was earning. More if I earned more.
You can't expect to live free when you have a job.

ohohseven · 04-08-2014 01:05AM

I Paid nothing because the ****ers deserved nothing.

I Voted For Kodos · 04-08-2014 01:20AM

I'm on the dole, 21. Give half my dole per week, €50. Hopefully I'll be working and be able to contribute a lot more soon. My siblings all contribute from their jobs. Parents pays for the shopping, bills, etc with this money - both are retired, no big pensions either.

I do the shopping for my mam (with her money obviously) for the family, odd jobs around the house, cut the grass, what have you.

It amazes me all my friends who contribute nothing at home, whether in college, working or on the dole. When I was getting the grant in college, €140 odd per month, I gave up €50 for the month. I've never been asked for it and a few weeks since I've been on the dole I've had to give less than half with no problem but I couldn't comfortably live at home and not contribute to them at this stage of my life.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 01:22AM

Magaggie wrote: »

Why does it have to be like "the real world"? When it's family, a bit of leeway is hardly too much to ask. Proportionate share of bills, food and other household costs is plenty to be contributing.

Maybe bear in mind other families don't have as much money as your family? And I say that as someone from a comfortably off background. Once you move out, it's not your room in your home anyway. It's your parents' home and the bedroom in your parents' house. I think parents should let their children move back in with them whenever their children need to - I hate that draconian "Out the door at 18" stuff, but they don't own the home either.
Whatever about rent, would you not think an adult earning a full-time wage should contribute towards electricity, heating, TV, internet, food, other household expenses? Seems scrounging to avail of them but pay nothing towards them.

Why? Not even bills?

They had leeway living there for free when not working, Children's allowance does not cover all costs. No one is asking them to pay over the odds just their fare share of the bills. I have pointed out would you let your sibling stay in your gaff free of charge while working and contribute nothing. Not bloody lightly. You would be saying this is what you are expected to contribute, If you wont feel free to leave.

dark crystal · 04-08-2014 01:29AM

candy-gal1 wrote: »

Tbh, and I get your point there, but were not talking about a random person staying in your house as a flatmate/roommate etc, were talking about your children who you chose to have/take care of etc and having children is a choice yes?
So, you dont actually know how long you may have to "look after" / house your kids and to what age tbh, especially in this current climate, we all assume that you have children, you care for them and pay for them till their about 18/21/23 pending on circumstances then their gone out on their own but youve no idea really

Thats yet another reason, imho, why having children is one of the few biggest decisions youll ever make in your life to which you cant take back, so you must be prepared for this eventuality

Part of being a responsible parent is teaching your children how to budget and how to cope financially when they eventually leave home and it's a huge lesson they'll need to learn for the future.

Also this notion of 'why should I have to pay to live in my home' is completely wrong. It's your parent's home - they paid for it. When they decided to have children, they took on the responsibility of providing for them as they were dependent on their parents for food, clothing, shelter etc. When they start working, they are no longer dependents, they are independents. This means contributing to the household as an independent member of it. Besides the financial lesson this helps to teach them, it should be a small thank you for all the years their parents paid for everything they ever needed or wanted.

You'd want to be an ungrateful skinflint not to even attempt to help your folks out after everything they put into raising you. Of course they love you, but love alone doesn't pay the bills!

Shakespeare's Sister · 04-08-2014 01:29AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

They had leeway living there for free when not working, Children's allowance does not cover all costs. No one is asking them to pay over the odds just their fare share of the bills. I have pointed out would you let your sibling stay in your gaff free of charge while working and contribute nothing. Not bloody lightly. You would be saying this is what you are expected to contribute, If you wont feel free to leave.

Oh for god's sake, I have clearly stated, a number of times, that I think people should contribute towards household costs living in their parents' house if earning money. How have you not seen this?

I just said dividing the bills up is sufficient, not a set lump sum every week/month that might be over the odds - that may be the real world, as in a landlord, but it doesn't have to be the case from family.
Calling payment towards children's upkeep when they weren't working "leeway" reminds me of Principal Skinner having to pay his mother back retroactively for when he was a child.
Parents have to pay for their child's upkeep - it's part of being a parent!

04-08-2014 01:38AM

Where has this notion that if you don't contribute money when you're growing up that you'll be careless with money later in life? Bollocks

How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

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