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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.
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Carpet diem wrote: »Its a work thing but i LL keep strong and beware of the "reckless" me peeping out.
Good advice thou. Ha I can totally agree with running out of money and you still go drinking and wakening up the next day with only few euro to do you for next few days. Absolutely stupid stuff.
But we aren't strong when it comes to drink. That's the 'mental' part of it all, we may be strong in many other areas of life, but seem to be "strangely insane" where drink is concerned, hence our arrival on the doors of AA (or wherever).
This is what we mean by "losing to win", the paradox, that by admitting defeat, we can be victorious, by admitting weakness, we are able to demonstrate strength.
It sounds goofy, but it works....and it keeps things interesting
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Carpet diem wrote: »Your full of amazing wisdom :-) thanks
lol, I am "full " of something all right
Truth is, you've been great for my sobriety, you've made it so I end up sharing so many things I need to hear again myself, so thanks.
Ps: just in case you think I've come up with any of this myself, check here:Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.
*starts here: http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_100.htm0 -
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I've a very long way to go to be honest but suppose small steps and all that.Amazingfun wrote: »lol, I am "full " of something all right
Truth is, you've been great for my sobriety, you've made it so I end up sharing so many things I need to hear again myself, so thanks.
Ps: just in case you think I've come up with any of this myself, check here:
*starts here: http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_100.htm0 -
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Amazingfun wrote: »We are strangers on the internet, lol....don't be worrying about stuff like that. All I can say is: welcome back
(if you're game- let's walk through what happened? Where were you when you picked up that drink?)
PM sent.0 -
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Carpet diem wrote: »Anyone on here have issues talking to people? I think it's one of the reasons I did drink a lot is because I had no confidence in my ability to speak and also bit paranoid of people.
Any experiences?
Yep I have problem with it, Now I can't shut up
Seriously, If drinking was a huge part of your social life,as it was in mine,It takes time to build up confidence and less critical ways in looking at your self,one of the things people often have difficulty with is their lack of confidence in themselves.
To rebuild that self esteem again takes time. When you feel good about who you are, then you’re more confident. You need to observe yourself – notice when you are judging yourself negatively or blaming yourself for mistakes you think you’ve made.Part of this comes down to forgiveness. We all make mistakes, we’re human after all. Very often we are far more forgiving of others than we are of ourselves. Mistakes or failures are just incidents, or certain things you are still learning, try not to see them as evidence of a defective personality.
From An Anonymous Author....
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.
I drank to be sociable and became lonely.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.
I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
I drank for confidence and felt unsure
I drank for courage and became afraid
I drank for assurance and became doubtful
I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts
I drank for conversation and tied my tongue
I drank to be in heaven and I came to know hell
I drank to forget and became haunted
I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)
I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply
I drank to cope with life and invited death.
I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.
Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?
I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."0 -
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Yep I have problem with it, Now I can't shut up
Seriously, If drinking was a huge part of your social life,as it was in mine,It takes time to build up confidence and less critical ways in looking at your self,one of the things people often have difficulty with is their lack of confidence in themselves.
To rebuild that self esteem again takes time. When you feel good about who you are, then you’re more confident. You need to observe yourself – notice when you are judging yourself negatively or blaming yourself for mistakes you think you’ve made.Part of this comes down to forgiveness. We all make mistakes, we’re human after all. Very often we are far more forgiving of others than we are of ourselves. Mistakes or failures are just incidents, or certain things you are still learning, try not to see them as evidence of a defective personality.
From An Anonymous Author....
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.
I drank to be sociable and became lonely.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.
I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
I drank for confidence and felt unsure
I drank for courage and became afraid
I drank for assurance and became doubtful
I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts
I drank for conversation and tied my tongue
I drank to be in heaven and I came to know hell
I drank to forget and became haunted
I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)
I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply
I drank to cope with life and invited death.
I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.
Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?
I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."
Thanks realies - so true on all the stuff above
I can get quite angry and offended by people too. I should just ignore and get on with things.0 -
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Enough already,
No one has a monopoly on recovery strategies. That is why some people recover in AA, some recover in religious programs, and some just get creative and carve their own path. If someone tells you that their program is the only way to recover, RUN.
Action is the key. In fact, I have tried things, and failed, but still benefited with an increase in self esteem simply from having taken action. To do nothing and sit idle is the worse thing when you are trying to affect change.
What type of action? Well the core principles for me have always been focusing on these three things: personal growth, pursuing greater health, and helping others. If you take action along those lines every single day, then you are going to start gradually feeling better and better about yourself.
But the key, for me, was not to expect miracles from affirmations alone. I had to get out there and actually do some stuff in recovery, in order to start feeling better about myself.
And finally
Complacency kills, getting lazy about personal growth is the final challenge, because it is really the only way to regress back into our addictive mode. If you are not pushing yourself to grow in recovery, then you might be getting closer to relapse. One of the best ways to fight against this is to constantly challenge yourself to improve your own health, Doing these things is a hedge against the danger of becoming complacent. Good luck sir it can be done
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enoughalready wrote: »Thank you realies, that was very insightful. I am looking up AA but don't want to go to one near my home town so will drive further a field to one where I have a lesser chance meeting anyone I know. It's an old joke in AA how many of us weren't the slightest bit bothered about being drunken messes around those we know, and yet are terrified of them seeing us sober! 0
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