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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Its a work thing but i LL keep strong and beware of the "reckless" me peeping out.

    Good advice thou. Ha I can totally agree with running out of money and you still go drinking and wakening up the next day with only few euro to do you for next few days. Absolutely stupid stuff.

    But we aren't strong when it comes to drink. That's the 'mental' part of it all, we may be strong in many other areas of life, but seem to be "strangely insane" where drink is concerned, hence our arrival on the doors of AA (or wherever).
    This is what we mean by "losing to win", the paradox, that by admitting defeat, we can be victorious, by admitting weakness, we are able to demonstrate strength.

    It sounds goofy, but it works....and it keeps things interesting ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Feeling a tad sorry for myself this evening - despite AA meeting today and good gym session this afternoon. Had to work through Acceptance/Consequences etc over the last couple of hours.
    Anyway - I've battened down the hatches & will be seriously glad tomorrow morning when I'm out running and have a clear head and more importantly some piece of mind.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Well done KeefF - you definitely will feel better.

    I feel bit pi*ssed off these days myself. I think I will go to meeting tomorrow. Having you being going to anything other than AA meetings?

    I'm living with strangers and it just can be lonely at times and would like to living with someone I know so I could even sit down and watch a match with them and also suppose chat away.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Hi,
    Ive done a bit of counselling.
    I am in the middle of a big project in work which is due to complete in next couple of weeks. After that I'm going to really give the AA programme a go.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Ive done a bit of counselling.
    I am in the middle of a big project in work which is due to complete in next couple of weeks. After that I'm going to really give the AA programme a go.

    Did you find the counselling much good?

    I'll go to meeting now again tomorrow and I'm just gona relax a bit more and not take it too seriously if you get me.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    TBH - not so sure about the counselling.
    I think AA is the way for me. I've mainly just listened to date. But I need to and will start to share more and get more involved for it to have any chance of working.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Something I really need to do is to keep company with better people. Some people I hang around with are just poisonous for me.

    With xmas parties coming up now and all that - what would ye do? Go to the meal and just head off then or not go at all?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Something I really need to do is to keep company with better people. Some people I hang around with are just poisonous for me.

    With xmas parties coming up now and all that - what would ye do? Go to the meal and just head off then or not go at all?

    Part of my accepting my own alcoholism was discovering (through the steps) that it was me who was often the "poisonous" element. Like attracts like, ya know?

    As for the parties and such, it helps maybe to understand you are lucky to be invited to such events, some drunks have burned so many bridges by the time they "hit bottom" that few want them around. You seem to have got off the "train to the dump" well before that kind of result; make the most of it.
    In other words: be grateful you can show up looking good, see what you can add to the occasion, how you can make others laugh, etc, talk to women, enjoy yourself!
    And as always, if things on the day start to overwhelm you, or you feel too "jittery" to be around the booze, you can leave. That is freedom.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    Part of my accepting my own alcoholism was discovering (through the steps) that it was me who was often the "poisonous" element. Like attracts like, ya know?

    As for the parties and such, it helps maybe to understand you are lucky to be invited to such events, some drunks have burned so many bridges by the time they "hit bottom" that few want them around. You seem to have got off the "train to the dump" well before that kind of result; make the most of it.
    In other words: be grateful you can show up looking good, see what you can add to the occasion, how you can make others laugh, etc, talk to women, enjoy yourself!
    And as always, if things on the day start to overwhelm you, or you feel too "jittery" to be around the booze, you can leave. That is freedom.

    Your full of amazing wisdom :-) thanks


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Your full of amazing wisdom :-) thanks

    lol, I am "full " of something all right ;)

    Truth is, you've been great for my sobriety, you've made it so I end up sharing so many things I need to hear again myself, so thanks.

    Ps: just in case you think I've come up with any of this myself, check here:
    Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
    must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

    We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

    In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

    So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

    You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

    Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

    *starts here: http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_100.htm


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    lol, I am "full " of something all right ;)

    Truth is, you've been great for my sobriety, you've made it so I end up sharing so many things I need to hear again myself, so thanks.

    Ps: just in case you think I've come up with any of this myself, check here:



    *starts here: http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_100.htm
    I've a very long way to go to be honest but suppose small steps and all that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Hi,
    I've a Chrimbo party coming up myself. I'm thinking about going but if I am going, I will get a couple of meetings that day before I go. Also I will drive in to work and have a getaway out of town. Thing with a work party is I see these people all day and don't need to booze to interact with them. if I am feeling unsure though I will not go. But life is too short not to go out etc - so I hope I'm up to it. I've read that extract from the Big Book and loved it. I also heard someone use it recently as part of their Chair and it was very inspirational. At the party, there will be plenty of questions as I am normally in the middle of things doing shots/going to niteclubs etc
    In terms of people, I am just avoiding people who were no more than drinking buddies. I would have just hung out with them to go drinking. My lifelong friends don't care that I am quitting. One said as much the other night - he simply said if your going to do it do it properly and not make it up as I go along.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Gym before work this morning - really works wonders.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I'm concentrating on doing what I do better and hopefully that will reap rewards. Taken from a poster yesterday

    Train more consistently and look better
    Work harder and smarter and get further in work
    Work on relationship with gf and enjoy spare time together
    Go home more often and spend more quality time with family
    Study harder and and try do the very best I can in exams
    Communicate with people better and be assertive too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Having a good day and hoping for nice weekend. Hopefully tubs has someone decent on


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I slipped up last night and I really don't know what to think. I feel like i have betrayed people on here and myself most of all. I was doing so good.

    Only thing positive is I start right now again fresh and Xmas day will be a month. I don't know.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    We are strangers on the internet, lol....don't be worrying about stuff like that. All I can say is: welcome back ;)

    (if you're game- let's walk through what happened? Where were you when you picked up that drink?)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    We are strangers on the internet, lol....don't be worrying about stuff like that. All I can say is: welcome back ;)

    (if you're game- let's walk through what happened? Where were you when you picked up that drink?)

    PM sent.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    CD,
    I suppose the best thing is just to start again. Don't be too hard on yourself but you may get some worth from trying to figure out what triggered it etc.
    I have been doing well for a couple of months, but I do know I will need to get a hobby to fill the gaps. I go to the gym and run, but I need to do something else.

    Best of luck.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    CD,
    I suppose the best thing is just to start again. Don't be too hard on yourself but you may get some worth from trying to figure out what triggered it etc.
    I have been doing well for a couple of months, but I do know I will need to get a hobby to fill the gaps. I go to the gym and run, but I need to do something else.

    Best of luck.

    What do you usually do when a trigger occurs ?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Hi,
    Up to the last couple of months I've usually just caved in. But over the last while I've been taking a step back for a moment and thinking through the consequences. Also I do some of the things they suggest in AA - "handing it over" " this too shall pass" etc. I had to do this Sat eve as I was driving by the pub where some of my drinking buddies were outside smoking. I thought I could very easily go in and have a few etc etc. But I just accepted it for what it was and let it go and it went.
    I am finished a big project in work this week which has been a big motivation for me to stay sober in October and November. So I am now going to face some tough challenges as that particular motivation will b gone. But they will all be challenges of my own making and I have to deal with them head on. With hard work and some faith I should be fine. Plus I am going to really give the AA thing a proper go.

    Hard Work & Faith!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I don't get the handing over part ? Well done thou your clearly goin well.


    Its not worth it and hopefully will get stronger from it. What kills me thou is when I exercised yesterday and slept well and then I suddenly thought it was OK to drink wild horses couldt stop me. Amazing how selective your mind can be


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Up to the last couple of months I've usually just caved in. But over the last while I've been taking a step back for a moment and thinking through the consequences. Also I do some of the things they suggest in AA - "handing it over" " this too shall pass" etc. I had to do this Sat eve as I was driving by the pub where some of my drinking buddies were outside smoking. I thought I could very easily go in and have a few etc etc. But I just accepted it for what it was and let it go and it went.
    I am finished a big project in work this week which has been a big motivation for me to stay sober in October and November. So I am now going to face some tough challenges as that particular motivation will b gone. But they will all be challenges of my own making and I have to deal with them head on. With hard work and some faith I should be fine. Plus I am going to really give the AA thing a proper go.

    Hard Work & Faith!!!

    Great write up and fair play!
    Keeping occupied and challenged looks like something that's keeping you going. I think likewise for me too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Great write up and fair play!
    Keeping occupied and challenged looks like something that's keeping you going. I think likewise for me too.

    Hi,
    Hope you are back on track and feeling strong again.
    Best of luck and keep posting.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Great write up and fair play!
    Keeping occupied and challenged looks like something that's keeping you going. I think likewise for me too.
    How did the Weekend go for you? Hope all is well!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    How did the Weekend go for you? Hope all is well!!!

    Weekend was same as last weekend unfortunately as urge came over me on Friday night. I went out last night and had NA beer and it worked a treat.

    Things have to change alrite and its time I started copping on.

    How did yours go ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    Weekend was same as last weekend unfortunately as urge came over me on Friday night. I went out last night and had NA beer and it worked a treat.

    Things have to change alrite and its time I started copping on.

    How did yours go ?

    Well done!
    Mine went well thanks. Just keeping things nice and simple. Doing normal everyday things.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Well done!
    Mine went well thanks. Just keeping things nice and simple. Doing normal everyday things.

    I also moved house last week so I'm hoping I'll be happier here. Last place was smelly and couldn't even go in the kitchen it stank.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ KeefF


    I also moved house last week so I'm hoping I'll be happier here. Last place was smelly and couldn't even go in the kitchen it stank.

    Great. Best of luck with it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I have to say I have failed along the way here but (this might not sound cool) but listening to Michael Flatley on Pierce Morgan there saying it's not how many times you fall rather how many times you get back. I take encouragement from that and I will do that.

    I've met some good people on here too giving great words of encouragement and hope to now start capitalizing on it and start being a better and happier person.


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