Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

No I haven't but I will. I don't even know what to say really. I'll go to the BB one on Sunday near me and another BB one on Saturday if i can find one that's handy..

You need to start sharing, I've been saying that to you from the start at least try to say something.

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

I was thinking through the first step of AA and I think it's good to do it when events are raw in your head. Here it is any ways:

Acceptance that if I continue to drink:
- Life will always be a struggle
- My health will deteriorate
- My relationship with my girlfriend will suffer and that too will end
- My work will only ever be mediocre at best at times
- I will not progress in work
- My fitness will continue to take a back seat
- I will continue to put on weight
- I will continue to feel depressed
- I will become a chronic alcoholic with no control over my life (I have some power to do change things around now for sure)
- I will not have a nice family house with wife and kids
- I will never be happy
- My relationship with my family will continue to worsen (even thou it's ok now it could be better)
- I will not have any money at the end of each month
- I will not be able to save for the future
- I will not have a nice car to drive around in
- I will not enjoy nice things in life e.g trips to cinema, meals out and gigs
- I will not become a better person
- I will not enjoy the small precious moments in life
- I will not get proper sleep
- I will continue to call in sock for work or be late
- I will not get up on time for work, at weekend and end out all day in bed
- My dreams and aspirations will never be a possibility
- I will become worse with dealing with people on a daily basis
- My paranoia after drinking will get worse
- Therefore eventually I will have no job, no happiness, no girlfriend, no proper friends, no money, bad health and a bleak future

I need to accept that:
- I cannot do this alone and need to attend meetings regularly and seek professional advise
- there are gone be time when life is hard/lonely and I will feel sorry for myself
- BUT drink will not solve this and the feeling will pass.
- I have no control over drink and need to hand it over to himself.

Good job getting all that down! Some compelling reasons there.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Good job getting all that down! Some compelling reasons there.

Lot of anger and shame on yourself will do that to you and robbed a few from you!!!

Carpet diem

I went to the doctor this morning and she was very nice really.

It really was a big step for me.

She suggested a counsellor, check up on my bloods as I haven't gone to doc in years. Also got some tablets so I'm very sure they will help me and i have a feeling talking in the meetings will not be a problem going forward as frustration has to come out somewhere

I'm looking forward to a nice sober weekend and a meeting or two and will book appointment for counsellor next week.

Carpet diem

Got to a big book this weekend and managed to speak at it. It was tough but good and I think I'll be less reluctant to talk in future. So much to be learned at them.

Had great weekend. Feeling some kinda order to my life and medication I'm on at moment is definitely helping me get sober days together while I get to meetings and do counselling.

Day by day is my motto.

anon1900

delighted to see your doing better, keep it up, we'll get there

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Got to a big book this weekend and managed to speak at it. It was tough but good and I think I'll be less reluctant to talk in future. So much to be learned at them.

Had great weekend. Feeling some kinda order to my life and medication I'm on at moment is definitely helping me get sober days together while I get to meetings and do counselling.

Day by day is my motto.

Fair play to you. I am trying to ensure I speak/share at meetings and get more involved. I think this is essential for me to continue on the recovery path.
I am considering also what all this means for me - in terms of where I am going in life etc.
Best of luck - you are doing the right thing.

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

Got to a big book this weekend and managed to speak at it. It was tough but good and I think I'll be less reluctant to talk in future. So much to be learned at them.

Had great weekend. Feeling some kinda order to my life and medication I'm on at moment is definitely helping me get sober days together while I get to meetings and do counselling.

Day by day is my motto.

Well done, keep doing it will help you so much pal trust me

Carpet diem

Hey there,

I will be sober two weeks on Tuesday thank god. I got to a meeting this evening and I was really looking forward to it - i made it my priority. Got to spend time with gf shopping and what not but I made it clear I had to leave at a certain time. It really comes down to that - just need to go! That wasn't an issue but important to plan is what I'm saying.

I like the steps meetings I must say and I think I will go to another one in the week as well. I managed to talk (pure waffle) but it was my waffle and I'm getting more confident at it and hopefully I will get my thoughts across more clearer as I go along.

It was a tough week - plenty cravings but medication I'm on is great to be honest and is getting me to string days together while I find all the pieces of the jigsaw metaphorically speaking before I put the jigsaw together.

I'm loving the freedom of getting up in the morning. Not spending as much money, getting on well with gf and treating here well. She is a great girl in fairness.

One thing when I was talking in the meetings but I came to the conclusion that I don't know who I am, who I stand for. There was a line about being two different people and I can totally see that is me. Looking forward to the real me whoever that is...(I know that sounds weird!)

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Hey there,

I will be sober two weeks on Tuesday thank god. I got to a meeting this evening and I was really looking forward to it - i made it my priority. Got to spend time with gf shopping and what not but I made it clear I had to leave at a certain time. It really comes down to that - just need to go! That wasn't an issue but important to plan is what I'm saying.

I like the steps meetings I must say and I think I will go to another one in the week as well. I managed to talk (pure waffle) but it was my waffle and I'm getting more confident at it and hopefully I will get my thoughts across more clearer as I go along.

It was a tough week - plenty cravings but medication I'm on is great to be honest and is getting me to string days together while I find all the pieces of the jigsaw metaphorically speaking before I put the jigsaw together.

I'm loving the freedom of getting up in the morning. Not spending as much money, getting on well with gf and treating here well. She is a great girl in fairness.

One thing when I was talking in the meetings but I came to the conclusion that I don't know who I am, who I stand for. There was a line about being two different people and I can totally see that is me. Looking forward to the real me whoever that is...(I know that sounds weird!)

Great stuff and well done. By the way I totally identify with what you are saying about being 2 different people. I was actually living a 2 different lives almost. During the week, I would be dealing with CEO's/Boards of very well known major organisations in Ireland. I would be responsible for the work of a number of people, making decisions worth €billions. On Saturday night/Sunday I could be in the company of absolutely anyone doing absolutely anything ( I won't go into the details). I would meet people during the week for example who I would socialise with at the weekend and they would tell me I was like a different person. Needless to say that split takes a toll on you. I certainly didn't want to be that person at the weekend but that's where drink led me. And I thought I needed to drink at the weekend to have a life - I am learning now slowly that is not the case. However, I think it will be a long time before I find out who I am - I hope I like him.
Anyway - it's really great to hear you are back on a path you want to be on. keep posting.

Carpet diem

So busy in work these days - good good job that I'm fresh to go or I would definitely crack up.

I really need to get better with mixing with people. Sometimes I get mad at what people say and no need for it. Any ideas?
Sometimes I find chatting to people awkward and I'm keen to try improve myself,

Any ideas? Is it self-esteem, confidence issues or what is it?

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

So busy in work these days - good good job that I'm fresh to go or I would definitely crack up.

I really need to get better with mixing with people. Sometimes I get mad at what people say and no need for it. Any ideas?
Sometimes I find chatting to people awkward and I'm keen to try improve myself,

Any ideas? Is it self-esteem, confidence issues or what is it?

For me, the relationships with people have gotten better as my sober time has increased. I am still prone to snapping and being narky. However this has improved significantly. For me, seeking guidance/help every morning to be the person I want to be - tolerant/respectful/humble/honest/acting without self-pity - has been slowly helping me. I am also focusing on being grateful for what I do have on a daily basis. I am no saint nor will I ever be but I am finding these things are helping me improve and are slowly changing my mindset from that person who needed to go out and get smashed at the weekend. I have also being doing a small bit of meditation which has been helpful to really stop the mind racing.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I spent 2 hours in a coffee shop on Sat eve just chatting to my Ma. I have always spent some time with her but it usually involved me being sullen/narky/resentful. So this is a very positive example of some of the small improvements I am seeing.
In terms of socialising, I have no issues being around drink etc with people who would not normally see me drinking e.g. work colleagues, gym, family & close friends. However I will struggle around people and in environments where I would normally be drinking - so these for me have to be dealt with caution. To be honest, there is no real need for me to be in such situations at this stage.
I hope this has been of some help to you. As I said before, it is really helpful for me to write it down.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

So busy in work these days - good good job that I'm fresh to go or I would definitely crack up.

I really need to get better with mixing with people. Sometimes I get mad at what people say and no need for it. Any ideas?
Sometimes I find chatting to people awkward and I'm keen to try improve myself,

Any ideas? Is it self-esteem, confidence issues or what is it?

This may sound kinda funny, but an old AA speaker I used to love listening too explained our problem this way: "I ain't much, but I am all I think about"

It means we tend to be selfish, self centered. In that I mean, not that we are selfish in that we wouldn't share our bag of sweets of the like, but that we are sort of locked into obsessing on how we feel, what we're saying, etc, that it seems to get "bigger" in our perception than perhaps it really is.

That is why getting active in helping others is the key, he said it like this :
"when I am helping that sick bastard, I ain't thinking about this sick bastard" (himself, lol).

It works, seems like it wouldn't , but it does

Carpet diem

Keep busy
Rest well
Eat well
Take at least half hour for yourself during the day
Plan and visualise day ahead positively
Laugh at stuff that goes wrong
Have a laugh
Be serious and focused.
Drink plenty of water.
Exercise
Avoid excess of anything above


Few of the core things I need to fit into my day everyday

Sunnyisland

This was an article I found on LinkedIn....it is totally UNRELATED to ALcohol, but it is as if it were written for us...worth the read:

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


We can define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

It takes much practice to hone mental strength
It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
__________________

KeefF

realies wrote: »

This was an article I found on LinkedIn....it is totally UNRELATED to ALcohol, but it is as if it were written for us...worth the read:

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


We can define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

It takes much practice to hone mental strength
It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
__________________

Thanks for putting this up I think it's very useful and relevant. I have been trying to apply very similar principles to my own life. Thinking about what I want to achieve in all aspects of my life - sobriety, work, fitness, my home, personal development, finances. I've been setting long-term and short-term action plans (weekly) around those goals and reviewing them regularly to see if the actions will or are brininging me towards those goals. If not, I will change the actions based on lessons learned from people who have achieved similar goals. Positive self-affirmation, acceptance, serenity etc are all part of it too which I think is covered in the article.
I love little gems like this.

Carpet diem

realies wrote: »

This was an article I found on LinkedIn....it is totally UNRELATED to ALcohol, but it is as if it were written for us...worth the read:

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


We can define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

It takes much practice to hone mental strength
It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
__________________

Great stuff realies.

I'm on day 16 now and holding together fairly well. Work is very tough at the moment and I feel I'm getting too much to do. Working nine to 7 and few more hours when I go home. I need to knock that on the head.

Good job for the medication or I was gone drinking again yesterday evening. There is a few things that are still there annoying me - feeling very sorry for myself and few other things.

Few things I've done good so far :
Eating well and trying to lose few pound
Save a few quid. Have 1k savings on target so far this month
Worked hard ( maybe too hard )
Studied well
Treating my gf well.
Having plenty of money for groceries and petrol
Getting on with people in work
Getting on with mates and even organising trip to cinema with them
Reading a lot on current social issues/economics
Really cut down on take aways
Gym work at weekend
Being friendly to others I come into contact with. Simple how is your kind of thing
Talking in meetings
Holiday in march sorted
Holiday in June sorted



My cons to not drinking for last 16 days are :

































Oh wait there is none. Quel la suprise!!!!


My gf also mentioned that I have come a different person - less narky and more easygoing and hope to continue that .

Edit: Got my meeting in and spoke again. I feel proud of myself for first time in a long time.

I also got number of community counsellor in area that deals with addiction and its a free service so that's a help.

Re speaking I'm gonna bring small note in with me anymore to remind me of stuff I want to talk about as I forget when you are talking .

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Great stuff realies.

I'm on day 16 now and holding together fairly well. Work is very tough at the moment and I feel I'm getting too much to do. Working nine to 7 and few more hours when I go home. I need to knock that on the head.

Good job for the medication or I was gone drinking again yesterday evening. There is a few things that are still there annoying me - feeling very sorry for myself and few other things.

Few things I've done good so far :
Eating well and trying to lose few pound
Save a few quid. Have 1k savings on target so far this month
Worked hard ( maybe too hard )
Studied well
Treating my gf well.
Having plenty of money for groceries and petrol
Getting on with people in work
Getting on with mates and even organising trip to cinema with them
Reading a lot on current social issues/economics
Really cut down on take aways
Gym work at weekend
Being friendly to others I come into contact with. Simple how is your kind of thing
Talking in meetings
Holiday in march sorted
Holiday in June sorted



My cons to not drinking for last 16 days are :



































Oh wait there is none. Quel la suprise!!!!


My gf also mentioned that I have come a different person - less narky and more easygoing and hope to continue that .

Edit: Got my meeting in and spoke again. I feel proud of myself for first time in a long time.

I also got number of community counsellor in area that deals with addiction and its a free service so that's a help.

Re speaking I'm gonna bring small note in with me anymore to remind me of stuff I want to talk about as I forget when you are talking .

I like this post!!

Carpet diem

Met few mates in pub last night. Needed to just get out and chat you then and home by 11. Work was awful this week and way too busy.

It was tough but just couldn't drink and felt really sorry for myself but something inside was saying you can't get your way all the time you little bas$tArd. I can be very selfish and need to rid myself of that trait. Me me me..
As I heard before :
Poor me Poor me Pour me a drink.
That is what it is like!

Great to feel good and enjoy life for what it is.

Wattle

Carpet diem wrote: »

Met few mates in pub last night. Needed to just get out and chat you then and home by 11. Work was awful this week and way too busy.

It was tough but just couldn't drink and felt really sorry for myself but something inside was saying you can't get your way all the time you little bas$tArd. I can be very selfish and need to rid myself of that trait. Me me me..
As I heard before :
Poor me Poor me Pour me a drink.
That is what it is like!

Great to feel good and enjoy life for what it is.

Glad to hear that you resisted the temptation but seriously why are you putting yourself in that situation where you are going to be feeling under pressure?

Carpet diem

Wattle wrote: »

Glad to hear that you resisted the temptation but seriously why are you putting yourself in that situation where you are going to be feeling under pressure?

I needed to get out and talk to the lads. My head was exploding after work . I wasn't under pressure from lads at all - just my own mind and I knew I had a safeguard.

Wattle

Carpet diem wrote: »

I needed to get out and talk to the lads. My head was exploding after work . I wasn't under pressure from lads at all - just my own mind and I knew I had a safeguard.

Look I'm sorry if I'm coming across as a bit of a prick cos I don't mean it that way. I've been following your progress here and I wish you all the best but you said yourself it was tough and you have fallen off the wagon a few times. All I'm saying is if your feeling any way iffy going to the pub might not be the greatest idea right now.

lufties

I find my biggest weakness is when I come off my final nightshift, after I sleep until around 2pm I don't know what to do with myself and feel like a caged animal set free after being kept out of a social loop. Shiftwork is a bitch, especially 12hrs. The 4 rest days then spent recovering from the first day off on the lash, disgrace really.

Carpet diem

Got myself to a big book again. Great feeling after it when you share but was tough as some stuff I talked about brought up stuff that was tough to talk about.

Anyways all going good and nice relaxing evening ahead without any fear of work tomorrow. (kinda but manageable)

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Got myself to a big book again. Great feeling after it when you share but was tough as some stuff I talked about brought up stuff that was tough to talk about.

Anyways all going good and nice relaxing evening ahead without any fear of work tomorrow. (kinda but manageable)

Well done! It does feel good.
I managed to share at 3 meetings this week - which is progress.
Keep up the good work.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Well done! It does feel good.
I managed to share at 3 meetings this week - which is progress.
Keep up the good work.

Well done KeefF you're flying it- speaking is key as is listening and putting stuff into action.

Well done lads, keep it up.

Yarray

Guys .... I have read yer posts, every one of them, ALL 22 pages of them!!!...

Can I begin off my thanking you all for the advice and the words of wisdom you have shared, but most importantly - for being open, honest and brave!

I will share a bit about myself some other time but what I have to say next is the first time I have EVER said or typed this .......

I am an Alcoholic!!

..... There!! - phew!!

I have been drinking for the last 20 years and you would not believe the stunts I've pulled to ensure that I wasn't more than a few feet away from a drink.

I seldom had hangovers - always up with the lark - but that was a result of a carefully thought out and executed plan.... I very seldom got absolutely hammered - as not knowing my surroundings or what I was doing FREAKED me out. But I always had to have a drink - always - once the evening set it - I would be looking for the bottle.... Habit I suppose - but I have been booze free since the 30th of December and I feel great!! I have a fair bit to work on but baby steps.

The thoughts of an AA meeting fills me with dread as I am a solidarity enough kinda guy .... But its something that I am not adverse to.

Anyways just wanted to say THANK YOU to all contributors again and hang in there.

Y

xzanti

Congratulations Yarray.. you sound like you've reached a big milestone in your life..

I wish you every success welcome to the thread..

lufties

Yarray wrote: »

Guys .... I have read yer posts, every one of them, ALL 22 pages of them!!!...

Can I begin off my thanking you all for the advice and the words of wisdom you have shared, but most importantly - for being open, honest and brave!

I will share a bit about myself some other time but what I have to say next is the first time I have EVER said or typed this .......

I am an Alcoholic!!

..... There!! - phew!!

I have been drinking for the last 20 years and you would not believe the stunts I've pulled to ensure that I wasn't more than a few feet away from a drink.

I seldom had hangovers - always up with the lark - but that was a result of a carefully thought out and executed plan.... I very seldom got absolutely hammered - as not knowing my surroundings or what I was doing FREAKED me out. But I always had to have a drink - always - once the evening set it - I would be looking for the bottle.... Habit I suppose - but I have been booze free since the 30th of December and I feel great!! I have a fair bit to work on but baby steps.

The thoughts of an AA meeting fills me with dread as I am a solidarity enough kinda guy .... But its something that I am not adverse to.

Anyways just wanted to say THANK YOU to all contributors again and hang in there.

Y

Glad we could be of help, I found this forum has helped me lots too.

That's fantastic progress mate feel free to chat on here.

Carpet diem

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

Yarray

Carpet diem wrote: »

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

Firstly - thanks for all ur insights - 3 weeks sober myself ....

I completely agree with the sentiments on this post and can identify 100% with ur life experience.

So I had to seek professional help to sort it out .... especially with the auld fella - who did a little bit more than roar and shout!

I was told by an old monk once, that life is like a lake and it can be choppy and rough with the difficulties of life - but silence clams the surface of the lake - and it is only then u can see the **** at the bottom attempting to rise to the top!!...

I see that I drank alcohol to prevent me from recognising the **** at the bottom of the lake ....

Today I feel great and had a eureka moment on the way to work ; I'm superman and alcohol is my cryptonite!!! I'm super without it !!!

pm me is u want details of very good counsellor ....


Stay strong Superman!!

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

I absolutely hated my father when I first gave up drink. Just for him not being there and for being drunk when he was. It made me very angry and resentful I literally could not be around the man while I was dealing with it. When I finally shared about it enough in meetings and with my sponsor the penny dropped. I started to accept him for who he was and realized that he must have gone through a lot himself. His dad & my grandfather died from alcoholism when my dad was 16. This "man" used to hit my grandmother regularly in his drunken abyss and I can only imagine how that affected my father and his siblings. It really is a disease of relationships. It just in the end destroys family, friends & love. What you are going through is perfectly normal Carpet, the feelings pour back it's just dealing them the right way that is the challenge but trust me when you do life is never better. I regularly go for walks among other things with my dad when I drop over to their house. We NEVER done that while I drank, we would have laughed at something like that. I can honestly say that I've gotten closer to both my parents in two years then I had in the 25 previous due to me being sober and mature enough to accept them for who they are.

Amazingfun

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

lufties

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

Great Post!

This is the stumbling block I normally reach, Alone on a Friday evening with only your negative thoughts, I slowly start to pick myself apart, so it ends up 'ah sure I'll just go for wan or two',(which never happens) :rolleyes:

KeefF

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

really good post and this is something I need to explore with more sober time under my belt.

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

I know I'm not gonna be making war or peace with anyone anytime soon but I like to not bottle stuff up. I have done that for long enough pardon the pun.

Also other thing is I was never surrounded by alcohol as mother or father don't drink. We always say we were lucky he didnt drink or god know what he be like. But as i have mentioned in the post I understand him and I know he has has troubles and it's something we're all aware off and so I never fully lay blame on as i know deep down he is a good man. I have no resentment (I think towards him) but at the end of the day it has affected me and I need to deal with it. I need to get better dealing with people, talking in crowds, etc etc. I need to deal with it and try let go then and let it not stay with me and affect any kids I have in the future.

lufties

Carpet diem wrote: »

I know I'm not gonna be making war or peace with anyone anytime soon but I like to not bottle stuff up. I have done that for long enough pardon the pun.

Also other thing is I was never surrounded by alcohol as mother or father don't drink. We always say we were lucky he didnt drink or god know what he be like. But as i have mentioned in the post I understand him and I know he has has troubles and it's something we're all aware off and so I never fully lay blame on as i know deep down he is a good man. I have no resentment (I think towards him) but at the end of the day it has affected me and I need to deal with it. I need to get better dealing with people, talking in crowds, etc etc. I need to deal with it and try let go then and let it not stay with me and affect any kids I have in the future.

Hi Carpet, just out of interest, how would the above affect you talking in crowds? I only ask because I have the same problem.

Carpet diem

lufties wrote: »

Hi Carpet, just out of interest, how would the above affect you talking in crowds? I only ask because I have the same problem.

Generally wouldn't be the best and would like to get better of it. Over time going to meetings will help and sharing.

Carpet diem

I was thinking to me myself just there how Friday always have been a day where I would not be in great shape generally and I be looking forward to going out again on the Friday and Saturday night to do it all over again.
Especially this time of the month I find myself thinking it's pay day and time to go nuts and not look at my bank balance for the next two weeks. All reckless and all good times come to an end as they say. Don't get me wrong I had great craic but the repercussions grew and grew as the years went on.
Mainly due to getting older, personal responsibility, turning into someone who was not me, falling out with people, lying to people, hurting people, spending all my money in the pub, weight increasing, health deterioting, and above all I knew this was not the life for me, this was not my future.

It was touch and go at weekend as I stayed in gf house last minute and so didn't have tablet to take. God I'm not risking that one again. I have a supply in work for myself. I know it's a short term thing but it's working for me. It's not for everybody.

Anyways plan is to study for weekend, chill out with the gf tonight and just get on with whatever I have to do. Doesn't sound exciting but it's better than the alternative.

_lietome_

This post has been deleted.

IrishSkyBoxer

Nobody said coming into this world was going to be an easy fight.

Whenever life gets rough, I always remember.

"Tough times don't last tough, but tough people do"

xzanti

IrishSkyBoxer wrote: »

Nobody said coming into this world was going to be an easy fight.

Whenever life gets rough, I always remember.

"Tough times don't last tough, but tough people do"

Good philosophy..

I came to realise after I became a teetoller, that life for the most part can be pretty good.. we all have bad times... if someone we love is sick, we lose jobs, relationships end etc..

But drinking only taints the good days of our lives.. We make life harder for ourselves than it ever has to be when we allow drink to interfere with our journey.

Creating problems and anguish where they needn't be.

Just my Saturday morning musings there have a good weekend folks..

Carpet diem

I found yesterday very tough. I was getting all sorts of thoughts in my head - maybe I'm ok and should go out like everyone else and have a few drinks and enjoy myself. I can't help thinking I'm missing out on the fun. That was even after being in the gym after a good workout.

I'm very thankful today that I'm fresh as a daisy and had a sleep in but can still do some study later on in my own time. I need to pray to god for that and be thankful of my sobriety and realise this is a marathon and not a sprint. I'm also thankful to ye guys on here for the support and couldn't do it without ye.

I might get a meeting in today as well as feeling in that mood.

Carpet diem

I went to a meeting earlier and god I didn't really enjoy it. There was too many people there for everyone to speak and didnt recognise half the people. I do like the ones on Sunday with smaller crowd and talk is more focussed. Just said I get that out.

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

I went to a meeting earlier and god I didn't really enjoy it. There was too many people there for everyone to speak and didnt recognise half the people. I do like the ones on Sunday with smaller crowd and talk is more focussed. Just said I get that out.

well done for getting to a meeting.
Check out Acceptance on Page 417 of the Big Book. It just might help you through today.

Carpet diem

Thanks - how you getting on yourself these days ?

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Thanks - how you getting on yourself these days ?

Hi,
I'm just back in the door having been out in the pub and a late bar. Stuck to the N/A & Red Bull but really late bars etc are no place to be when sober. It was like bump off the sober person night - though I know I did the exact same thing when I was boozing.
I have to be honest, sitting in on Sat nights on my own are the biggest threat to me going forward. At this moment I have no desire to drink but I have to be vigilant regarding feeling sorry for myself going forward. I know I can (and am having) a decent life but I think to sustain it I need to share it with someone. At this stage I'm not yet sure how I am going to go about it. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself and trying to run before I can walk in terms of sobriety and getting to know the real me.

This post has been brought to you courtesy of Red Bull!!!!

Carpet diem

Got to my main weekly meeting. I love this particular one and find it a great base to work from and know abs get on with the people there.

Very content i must say this weekend. Working on my sleeping pattern so I'm not caught vulnerable.

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Got to my main weekly meeting. I love this particular one and find it a great base to work from and know abs get on with the people there.

Very content i must say this weekend. Working on my sleeping pattern so I'm not caught vulnerable.

Delighted to hear you are content buddy. Keep doing the right things.