Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Feeling a tad sorry for myself this evening - despite AA meeting today and good gym session this afternoon. Had to work through Acceptance/Consequences etc over the last couple of hours.
Anyway - I've battened down the hatches & will be seriously glad tomorrow morning when I'm out running and have a clear head and more importantly some piece of mind.

Hi,
Ive done a bit of counselling.
I am in the middle of a big project in work which is due to complete in next couple of weeks. After that I'm going to really give the AA programme a go.

TBH - not so sure about the counselling.
I think AA is the way for me. I've mainly just listened to date. But I need to and will start to share more and get more involved for it to have any chance of working.

Carpet diem wrote: »

Something I really need to do is to keep company with better people. Some people I hang around with are just poisonous for me.

With xmas parties coming up now and all that - what would ye do? Go to the meal and just head off then or not go at all?

Part of my accepting my own alcoholism was discovering (through the steps) that it was me who was often the "poisonous" element. Like attracts like, ya know?

As for the parties and such, it helps maybe to understand you are lucky to be invited to such events, some drunks have burned so many bridges by the time they "hit bottom" that few want them around. You seem to have got off the "train to the dump" well before that kind of result; make the most of it.
In other words: be grateful you can show up looking good, see what you can add to the occasion, how you can make others laugh, etc, talk to women, enjoy yourself!
And as always, if things on the day start to overwhelm you, or you feel too "jittery" to be around the booze, you can leave. That is freedom.

Carpet diem wrote: »

Your full of amazing wisdom :-) thanks

lol, I am "full " of something all right

Truth is, you've been great for my sobriety, you've made it so I end up sharing so many things I need to hear again myself, so thanks.

Ps: just in case you think I've come up with any of this myself, check here:

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

*starts here: http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_100.htm

Hi,
I've a Chrimbo party coming up myself. I'm thinking about going but if I am going, I will get a couple of meetings that day before I go. Also I will drive in to work and have a getaway out of town. Thing with a work party is I see these people all day and don't need to booze to interact with them. if I am feeling unsure though I will not go. But life is too short not to go out etc - so I hope I'm up to it. I've read that extract from the Big Book and loved it. I also heard someone use it recently as part of their Chair and it was very inspirational. At the party, there will be plenty of questions as I am normally in the middle of things doing shots/going to niteclubs etc
In terms of people, I am just avoiding people who were no more than drinking buddies. I would have just hung out with them to go drinking. My lifelong friends don't care that I am quitting. One said as much the other night - he simply said if your going to do it do it properly and not make it up as I go along.

Carpet diem wrote: »

Great write up and fair play!
Keeping occupied and challenged looks like something that's keeping you going. I think likewise for me too.

Hi,
Hope you are back on track and feeling strong again.
Best of luck and keep posting.