Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

delthedriver · 30-10-2013 6:42pm

murria wrote: »

I reckon Del and I could take ours to the Antique Roadshow!

Hersheys I took Billy to the Teddy Bear Hospital years ago. The woman told me they would unpick and unstuff him, I had to walk up George's St for 10 minutes to get my head round it.

Yeah I would love to go to the Antiques Roadshow, to meet Fiona Bruce!:)

NegativeCreep · 31-10-2013 5:17am

Went out tonight and its the first time ever I've gotten drunk and just couldn't wait to go home. Just couldn't stand being around people anymore. Rushed all my friends into a taxi and now I feel like ****. Just wasn't my night.

delthedriver · 31-10-2013 11:10am

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Went out tonight and its the first time ever I've gotten drunk and just couldn't wait to go home. Just couldn't stand being around people anymore. Rushed all my friends into a taxi and now I feel like ****. Just wasn't my night.

That is OK, you were not having a good night so you pulled the plug to protect yourself. Protecting yourself is vital in this war against Depression.

Call Me Jimmy · 31-10-2013 5:06pm

I stayed up from about 2am to 5am looking in the mirror because I saw the real situation. I am now in a sub-human mentality and thinking about death is becoming more and more of a relief, and this coming from someone with at least 10 years experience of this hell.

It surprises me just how low a new low can be. I've been shying away from reality for a long time and it seems it has come to finish me off entirely. I don't have much confidence at the moment and I can't imagine doing anything.

murria · 31-10-2013 6:36pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I stayed up from about 2am to 5am looking in the mirror because I saw the real situation. I am now in a sub-human mentality and thinking about death is becoming more and more of a relief, and this coming from someone with at least 10 years experience of this hell.

It surprises me just how low a new low can be. I've been shying away from reality for a long time and it seems it has come to finish me off entirely. I don't have much confidence at the moment and I can't imagine doing anything.

Call Me Jimmy

It is just that though, a low, probably brought on by staying up all night, being sleep deprived, not going out, not connecting with others. That person in the mirror is not all that you are, that person is only a reflection of your thoughts.

You are so kind and inspiring to all of us on here, we all care a great deal about you and want you to get well.

Be kinder to yourself Jimmy you deserve to feel good.

With love. xx

Call Me Jimmy · 31-10-2013 6:49pm

Thanks but its one of those times that words are words and not anything else. Going to go up to a mates and get stoned until this world disappears.

Esel · 01-11-2013 3:54am

CMJ, a few observations which I hope you take in the spirit in which they are intended:

1. Looking at one's reflection in a mirror does not give a true picture. For one thing, left is right and vice versa.

2. If you really have to look at yourself in a mirror in the way that you do, look at your eyes -just your eyes. Now smile at yourself. Keep looking at your eyes. Now laugh (fake laugh is fine), but keep looking at your eyes. Then smile again, always looking just at your eyes. The smile is the thing. If you smile at someone, they will be very hard put to scowl back. This works even when you are looking at your own reflection.

3. A reflection in a mirror, according to physics (from the little I remember from school) is the same distance behind the mirror as the object is in front of it. How is that possible though? I am here, but 'it' is there? There really is no 'it'.

4. I don't often shave my head these days - I usually give it a zero cut with a little single -AA Wahl which cuts really low. When I used to use a wet razor, though, I learned the hard way not to look in the mirror when I was doing it. You look in the mirror, see your right hand as your left hand, then try to make a cutting stroke while watching your hand/the razor. Result - 180 degree error, and cue a nice triple cut on your head.

4a. I learned not to use the mirror if wet shaving my head - rather I use my own proprioception, and use my free hand to follow the razor stroke to see if I need to repeat the stroke. No cuts.

4b. Vital to flush the razor after every two strokes at most - using a finger on the cold tap spout to give a good high-pressure blast!

4c. My father told me many years ago how he and a number of other men who shared his digs used to shave with open razors while walking around the room while others were dressing, picking up their tool-kits etc. Bumping off each other, dodging each other, talking to each other, but - no (major) cuts. Now imagine trying to shave your head with such a razor while looking in a mirror. I know I would not try it!

Mirrors have their use - rear-view; to view something that you cannot see directly (car mechanics often have to do this - but even they have to re-align their brain so that they can put the spanner on the nut); signalling for help; making a small room look bigger; and yes, people often use a mirror to look at their own image.

That's what you are looking at though - an image. It is not you, and it is not how you appear to another person.

I am quietly confident that sometime in your future you will have an insight into all this, and that you will also come to realise how inconsequential and unimportant the everyday worries we all have actually are.

TL/DR

Her: Does my bum look big in this?

Him: In this what? In this room? Ba-dum-tish! (Never use this answer, btw. Google for better replies to that question)

ps You going to a mate's place is great news, man! I am not endorsing any passive, pseudo-biblical Life of Brian-type activities, you understand. Better to stone than be stoned (or should that be read in a mirror, maybe?).

I'll stop now.

Gremlinertia · 01-11-2013 5:04pm

GCN posted an article a while ago that helped me feel a bit more normal.. Just how your mind can spiral after one small thing. http://www.gcn.ie/DEPRESSION_101

Hugo Stiglitz · 01-11-2013 9:55pm

Anyone else procrastinate like crazy and as a result of it then become anxious when deadlines are looming?

Hersheys · 01-11-2013 9:58pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Anyone else procrastinate like crazy and as a result of it then become anxious when deadlines are looming?

With the deadlines I have looming I shouldn't be on boards!!!

Hugo Stiglitz · 01-11-2013 10:58pm

Hersheys wrote: »

With the deadlines I have looming I shouldn't be on boards!!!

Yet here we are! lol

tosspot15 · 02-11-2013 12:15am

been spending my time feeling extremely agitated and yelling at people randomly on internet boards and skype. Yep, sure is interesting.

Also, declined a "review" appointment when my psychiatrist called me. They werent too interested in talking to me the first time and basically made a fool of me, so I dont see the point in going back. At least I have that therapy with the nurse to see.

also CIPC never called me back, despite me leaving my name with them over a month ago. So much for a 2 week wait lol.

whatever.

Hugo Stiglitz · 02-11-2013 2:30am

tosspot15 wrote: »

also CIPC never called me back, despite me leaving my name with them over a month ago. So much for a 2 week wait lol.

whatever.

Might be good to keep on hounding them over it. They'll have to give in eventually.

delthedriver · 02-11-2013 11:27am

murria wrote: »

Call Me Jimmy

It is just that though, a low, probably brought on by staying up all night, being sleep deprived, not going out, not connecting with others. That person in the mirror is not all that you are, that person is only a reflection of your thoughts.

You are so kind and inspiring to all of us on here, we all care a great deal about you and want you to get well.

Be kinder to yourself Jimmy you deserve to feel good.

With love. xx

+1

CMJ,

You are one of the kindest people on Boards, yet when it is time to be kind to yourself ? No. Please for the next week throw away that baseball bat and be kind to yourself. C'mon Man try it, one day at a time.:)

Hugo Stiglitz · 02-11-2013 7:58pm

On top of everything else I'm torturing myself here looking up people I used to hang with on Facebook and seeing their wonderful lives.

delthedriver · 02-11-2013 10:11pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

On top of everything else I'm torturing myself here looking up people I used to hang with on Facebook and seeing their wonderful lives.

Hugo,

What are you doing ?

Looking at the lives of other people on Facebook.

They may be highlighting various events in their lives with photos etc etc.

Honestly I don't think they are going to highlight the miserable moments in their lives too.

Everyone has something which has caused tears, the loss of a loved one, a failed relationship, loss of a job, business failure.............the list goes on .

So what you are looking at is the odd happy snapshot of people you know, however you don't know what is really going on in their lives at each photo session!

Please you need to put yourself first, concentrate on your health in order that you may get your life back on track.

Please, please take very good care of yourself, you are very important, comparing yourself with someone's Facebook page is not being fair to yourself.

You are a very intelligent person, why are you torturing yourself? Stop it please.

Live in the Now! Be kind to yourself.

Best wishes:)

Hugo Stiglitz · 02-11-2013 10:59pm

Thanks for the kind words Del!

It's something I do every now and then. It's just for some people you can see them all in a crowd now. I used to be part of that and I miss it truth be told. Some people I miss individually worse and they're the ones that really hit me hard.

Facebook is a curse sometimes! lol

delthedriver · 02-11-2013 11:14pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words Del!

It's something I do every now and then. It's just for some people you can see them all in a crowd now. I used to be part of that and I miss it truth be told. Some people I miss individually worse and they're the ones that really hit me hard.

Facebook is a curse sometimes! lol

No problem Hugo,

I understand fully, I do the same and then ask myself what in the name oF God am I doing. It is like looking at old photos from school, family albums wedding albums , just another waste of time!!

We are who we are ,and need to live in the Present !

Yes Facebook is the curse of the modern generation LOL

stinkle · 04-11-2013 1:55pm

I agree Facebook is a scourge! But it's totally one-sided in so many ways... people are always going to post good news/pictures of social events but leave out the less impressive stuff.

I took a bit of extra time off last week after the bank hol and it definitely did some good. Had a change of scenery too which was great. Woke up with mild anxiety today (possibly just Monday blues), I wasn't in a hurry to get to work, and just told myself not to sweat it that I wasn't in mad early (job is flexible and I can stay late if need be today). I've had a bad cold, neck pain all weekend and was awake all night on Saturday unrelated to the ailments. So it was helpful to tell myself that I needed rest and the world wont end if I was a bit late.

I mentioned I was going to see my therapist in my last post. We discussed my new feelings of "being in the way" and feeling like I've upset people when I really havent. To be honest, it's not a new thing with me really when I look back, but in my current work situation it's new enough. It was great to talk it out. I applied for a heap of jobs at the weekend too. I'm still frustrated that I'm "trapped" here with no idea of where/when I'll get work. Am anxious over the stuff I need to get through over the next week or two, mainly cos I have meetings to attend and I hate being under time pressure, but am telling myself if I'm late, I'm late and to focus on the important stuff that needs to be done. Plenty of other people are late/dont attend group meetings when they've stuff on so it's not a problem really.

An opportunity has come up to get away for a few days later in the month so hopefully that will happen and is something to focus on and look forward to. I hate wishing my life away but it's the only thing helping with the feelings of being trapped

delthedriver · 04-11-2013 2:29pm

stinkle wrote: »

I agree Facebook is a scourge! But it's totally one-sided in so many ways... people are always going to post good news/pictures of social events but leave out the less impressive stuff.

I took a bit of extra time off last week after the bank hol and it definitely did some good. Had a change of scenery too which was great. Woke up with mild anxiety today (possibly just Monday blues), I wasn't in a hurry to get to work, and just told myself not to sweat it that I wasn't in mad early (job is flexible and I can stay late if need be today). I've had a bad cold, neck pain all weekend and was awake all night on Saturday unrelated to the ailments. So it was helpful to tell myself that I needed rest and the world wont end if I was a bit late.

I mentioned I was going to see my therapist in my last post. We discussed my new feelings of "being in the way" and feeling like I've upset people when I really havent. To be honest, it's not a new thing with me really when I look back, but in my current work situation it's new enough. It was great to talk it out. I applied for a heap of jobs at the weekend too. I'm still frustrated that I'm "trapped" here with no idea of where/when I'll get work. Am anxious over the stuff I need to get through over the next week or two, mainly cos I have meetings to attend and I hate being under time pressure, but am telling myself if I'm late, I'm late and to focus on the important stuff that needs to be done. Plenty of other people are late/dont attend group meetings when they've stuff on so it's not a problem really.

An opportunity has come up to get away for a few days later in the month so hopefully that will happen and is something to focus on and look forward to. I hate wishing my life away but it's the only thing helping with the feelings of being trapped

Well done,You are very much in control.

Take it all in your stride!

Best wishes:)

stinkle · 04-11-2013 3:12pm

thanks del, it's hard work though and it feels like things might fall apart any minute. even doing small things are a bit of a struggle, it's hard to get motivated sometimes. Really hope I hear SOMETHING regarding the job applications, even to do an interview would be great. It's getting so annoying not getting any kind of response to applications

delthedriver · 04-11-2013 3:50pm

stinkle wrote: »

thanks del, it's hard work though and it feels like things might fall apart any minute. even doing small things are a bit of a struggle, it's hard to get motivated sometimes. Really hope I hear SOMETHING regarding the job applications, even to do an interview would be great. It's getting so annoying not getting any kind of response to applications

Yes it would be great to get some interview experience. Have you had any experience of mock interviews? Perhaps your Careers Counsellor at College could assist ?

stinkle · 04-11-2013 4:06pm

Did a skype interview a few months back which was a weird experience!! I never heard back unfortunately, would have been nice to know was the interview awful and how I can improve next time or they just went with someone else. I generally did well in interviews in the past, but it's been a few years since the last successful one and I've got loads of experience and qualifications since then so haven't a clue how ones at this level are...

delthedriver · 04-11-2013 5:44pm

stinkle wrote: »

Did a skype interview a few months back which was a weird experience!! I never heard back unfortunately, would have been nice to know was the interview awful and how I can improve next time or they just went with someone else. I generally did well in interviews in the past, but it's been a few years since the last successful one and I've got loads of experience and qualifications since then so haven't a clue how ones at this level are...

It may be worthwhile brushing up the interview skills. Sometimes it is hard to know what Employers' are looking for at interview particularly in the current climate. Have you registered with agencies, I am sure they could guide you as to what HR people are looking for at interview. I appreciate you have lots of experience and qualifications, just no harm to hone in on the interview techniques. No doubt the internet may have lots of suggestions.:)

stinkle · 04-11-2013 6:59pm

I completely agree that it's hard to know what they want! I'm applying directly to potential bosses (field is fairly informal in that way) for the most part - there's the odd one that goes thru a central HR address but not usually. Previous interview was just a chat really, it's weird in the sense that you're sitting at home and there can be slight delays via skype and it's just so unnatural really!

Need to contact a former colleague this week about something else but I'll mention I'm looking for work and if they have any hints for interviews/applications

delthedriver · 04-11-2013 9:17pm

stinkle wrote: »

I completely agree that it's hard to know what they want! I'm applying directly to potential bosses (field is fairly informal in that way) for the most part - there's the odd one that goes thru a central HR address but not usually. Previous interview was just a chat really, it's weird in the sense that you're sitting at home and there can be slight delays via skype and it's just so unnatural really!

Need to contact a former colleague this week about something else but I'll mention I'm looking for work and if they have any hints for interviews/applications

Skype and Facetime are great inventions, but there is nothing quite like having a face to face meeting:)

handbagmad · 04-11-2013 10:18pm

hi all. just thought id say hello x
I'm still awaiting councelling to start. Was supposed to start a few weeks back but it was cancelled on their part havent heard anything since. Still struggling but fighting through.
I seem very tired lately and really do not want the company of others. Its such an effort to have a conversation. I really have no place to go to be on my own so I've become very good at zoning out when with others.
Its very hard as Im sure you know to put on a front all the time.
Im really hoping councelling happens soon. Really need help with my life.

Hope everyone is holding up ok.

delthedriver · 04-11-2013 10:30pm

handbagmad wrote: »

hi all. just thought id say hello x
I'm still awaiting councelling to start. Was supposed to start a few weeks back but it was cancelled on their part havent heard anything since. Still struggling but fighting through.
I seem very tired lately and really do not want the company of others. Its such an effort to have a conversation. I really have no place to go to be on my own so I've become very good at zoning out when with others.
Its very hard as Im sure you know to put on a front all the time.
Im really hoping councelling happens soon. Really need help with my life.

Hope everyone is holding up ok.

Hi there,

Follow up with the counselling people, it is important to get it underway.

If you are looking for some space, can you get out for a walk on your own for 30 mins per day.? I know the weather has changed considerably so wrap up warm , wear a hat and some comfortable shoes.

I often go for a walk when I need to get some space to think. A regular walking pattern can help keep some way fit and help reduce the unnatural tiredness. You will probably sleep better too.

The main thing is to take very good care of yourself. You are worth it!

handbagmad · 04-11-2013 10:50pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi there,

Follow up with the counselling people, it is important to get it underway.

If you are looking for some space, can you get out for a walk on your own for 30 mins per day.? I know the weather has changed considerably so wrap up warm , wear a hat and some comfortable shoes.

I often go for a walk when I need to get some space to think. A regular walking pattern can help keep some way fit and help reduce the unnatural tiredness. You will probably sleep better too.

The main thing is to take very good care of yourself. You are worth it!

hi del. i try to get out for walks but have become very panicky about going outside. I have an excersize bike I try use everyday.
I am sleeping prob too much though.
Terrible to say but I people in general are really annoying me lately and I all I want to do is tell them all to shut up!
If I dont hear anything about councelling by the end of the week ill follow up with GP monday.
Have a good week all.

Nickname777 · 05-11-2013 6:01pm

Well this is my first ever thread. I am a 16 year old M and I am from Cork. I have struggled with social anxiety since 6th class, I am not sure what started it. Basically ever since I've spent my free time just sitting at hone in front of the computer, It never really affected my emotions until recently. You see, due to this I am 16 years old with NO friends. A few months ago I met this girl online, we are a similar age and have similar interests, she suffers from social Anxiety, As pathetic as it sounds we fell in 'love'?. I know we are young and probably unsure. The only problem is that she lives in America. A few weeks ago she relapsed into depression again due to some other guy. About 2 weeks ago she started to become stressed and overwhelmed with school and life. One of the things that made this hard for her is that I live so far away. So basically she asked if we could 'take a break'. She says she is unsure but I know its probably best if we do, for her sake. She told me this yesterday but I knew this was coming for a few days.

This will probably be easier for her since she has some friends, but me, I have nobody. I don't want my family to know unless its necessary. I feel awful, she was the ONLY friend I had.

Although I was okay being lonely before I met her, she built my heart up and now its broken. I don't know what to do. I guess thats why I am typing here. I have done a few things over the last few days that I am not happy with (Smoking, Cutting) although these dont help. I feel like I just want to 'Quit' but I refuse to, for my families sake.

I guess this is me asking if anyone can tell me what to do, or not to do.
I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do, and this whole situation is really making me depressed and I just need some guidance.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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