Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

murria

Nickname777 wrote: »

Well this is my first ever thread. I am a 16 year old M and I am from Cork. I have struggled with social anxiety since 6th class, I am not sure what started it. Basically ever since I've spent my free time just sitting at hone in front of the computer, It never really affected my emotions until recently. You see, due to this I am 16 years old with NO friends. A few months ago I met this girl online, we are a similar age and have similar interests, she suffers from social Anxiety, As pathetic as it sounds we fell in 'love'?. I know we are young and probably unsure. The only problem is that she lives in America. A few weeks ago she relapsed into depression again due to some other guy. About 2 weeks ago she started to become stressed and overwhelmed with school and life. One of the things that made this hard for her is that I live so far away. So basically she asked if we could 'take a break'. She says she is unsure but I know its probably best if we do, for her sake. She told me this yesterday but I knew this was coming for a few days.

This will probably be easier for her since she has some friends, but me, I have nobody. I don't want my family to know unless its necessary. I feel awful, she was the ONLY friend I had.

Although I was okay being lonely before I met her, she built my heart up and now its broken. I don't know what to do. I guess thats why I am typing here. I have done a few things over the last few days that I am not happy with (Smoking, Cutting) although these dont help. I feel like I just want to 'Quit' but I refuse to, for my families sake.

I guess this is me asking if anyone can tell me what to do, or not to do.
I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do, and this whole situation is really making me depressed and I just need some guidance.

Hi

I don't think you should try to tackle this by yourself you really need some support. The internet is great for information, but in your situation real world help will be of more benefit. If you have a good relationship with your parents ask them for help to get you some counselling or to arrange a visit with your doctor. If you can't turn to your parents, perhaps there is a trusted adult you can ask for help, for instance, another family member, school guidance counsellor, a good neighbour or family friend.

This link has some useful information on where to get help. http://www.barnardos.ie/resources-advice/young-people/teen-help/finding-help.html

Take care of yourself.

Nickname777

murria wrote: »

Hi

I don't think you should try to tackle this by yourself you really need some support. The internet is great for information, but in your situation real world help will be of more benefit. If you have a good relationship with your parents ask them for help to get you some counselling or to arrange a visit with your doctor. If you can't turn to your parents, perhaps there is a trusted adult you can ask for help, for instance, another family member, school guidance counsellor, a good neighbour or family friend.

This link has some useful information on where to get help. http://www.barnardos.ie/resources-advice/young-people/teen-help/finding-help.html

Take care of yourself.

Thanks mate, I never really knew my real father and my mom is like 8 months pregnant so I really don't want to stress her at the moment. I think you are right by saying I can't do this alone. I think I might try and see a councilor on my own someday or something, Thanks for the reply.

lukesmom

Okay so I'm obsessing all evening about when the time comes to withdraw from my meds. How I will feel, what symptoms I'll get etc. reading horror stories on the net I know I shouldn't read these it's like I couldn't help myself searching. I hope I'll be okay. I'm quite wound up and anxious now. I should have left well enough alone so an evening wasted scaring myself

murria

Nickname777 wrote: »

Thanks mate, I never really knew my real father and my mom is like 8 months pregnant so I really don't want to stress her at the moment. I think you are right by saying I can't do this alone. I think I might try and see a councilor on my own someday or something, Thanks for the reply.

You're very welcome. Do it sooner rather than later you'll feel a lot better if you even just speak to someone, especially if you have been keeping it to yourself for some time. You are still very young and it might change your life if you do something about it now.

You deserve to be happy.:)

murria

lukesmom wrote: »

Okay so I'm obsessing all evening about when the time comes to withdraw from my meds. How I will feel, what symptoms I'll get etc. reading horror stories on the net I know I shouldn't read these it's like I couldn't help myself searching. I hope I'll be okay. I'm quite wound up and anxious now. I should have left well enough alone so an evening wasted scaring myself

That's the kind of thing I do, scaring myself reading worst case scenarios on the intenet. The good news stories don't make such good reading. I'm sure your health care providers will try to make the transition as easy for you as possible and let them know your worries in advance.

You've said it yourself, we should leave well alone (maybe its a girl thing my husband would never do that). Do you have any little techniques to help with anxiety? Maybe some minfulness meditation or a relaxation cd would help. I'm sending you a hug anyway, hope youre okay.

lukesmom

murria wrote: »

That's the kind of thing I do, scaring myself reading worst case scenarios on the intenet. The good news stories don't make such good reading. I'm sure your health care providers will try to make the transition as easy for you as possible and let them know your worries in advance.

You've said it yourself, we should leave well alone (maybe its a girl thing my husband would never do that). Do you have any little techniques to help with anxiety? Maybe some minfulness meditation or a relaxation cd would help. I'm sending you a hug anyway, hope youre okay.

Yeah I don't know why I do it, you do it too so at least I'm not alone
I'm going to make a promise to myself From this moment on to stop the research into withdrawel symptoms, relapsing etc and just go with the flow because I'm only winding myself up looking at the negatives. Thanks for your reply Murria x

delthedriver

lukesmom wrote: »

Okay so I'm obsessing all evening about when the time comes to withdraw from my meds. How I will feel, what symptoms I'll get etc. reading horror stories on the net I know I shouldn't read these it's like I couldn't help myself searching. I hope I'll be okay. I'm quite wound up and anxious now. I should have left well enough alone so an evening wasted scaring myself

How long is a piece of string?

Stop !

Please relax and take good care of yourself

Best Regards

lukesmom

delthedriver wrote: »

How long is a piece of string?

Stop !

Please relax and take good care of yourself

Best Regards

Yes I know you are right I do need to relax and stop torturing myself with what ifs and all that rubbish,

Thanks del

Totalelf

Nickname 777, please do not feel you are alone. There are plenty of people out there to be friends with. Please contact teen agencies dealing with isolation and depression or the Samaritans, pieta house or any of the other agencies. Please believe you are special and unique, and just because you don't have a huge circle of friends, it doesn't mean you are less of a person, just rather more choosy about your friends. I am an extremely shy person with very few friends but I get by with fairly ok acquaintances. I wish you all the best in the future and please confide in your parents if you can and if not, please keep posting here, where you are amongst friends. Xx

stinkle

Am really bad today, was stressed yesterday and had to encounter problematic work people. Nothing bad happened but there's a bad atmosphere that I feel I am only feeding into. I need to face these people again today and am dreading it. I was hoping to get up early and get stuff done early but that didn't happen and I'm feeling guilty. Keep telling myself that it worked out ok though. Going round in circles in my brain and feeling awful for having a beer last night cos my stomachs in bits and have a stress headache. Will hopefully be able to leave early, fingers crossed. This is the first day in ages that I've needed to do my breathing

murria

stinkle wrote: »

Am really bad today, was stressed yesterday and had to encounter problematic work people. Nothing bad happened but there's a bad atmosphere that I feel I am only feeding into. I need to face these people again today and am dreading it. I was hoping to get up early and get stuff done early but that didn't happen and I'm feeling guilty. Keep telling myself that it worked out ok though. Going round in circles in my brain and feeling awful for having a beer last night cos my stomachs in bits and have a stress headache. Will hopefully be able to leave early, fingers crossed. This is the first day in ages that I've needed to do my breathing

Hi Stinkle,

The thing about techniques like breathing or tapping is that they are so useful for exactly times like this. Do your breathing, go look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Now let it pass and let go of it. The important part of your post is the bit in bold, nothing happened and you are okay. It's not all your fault.

A colleague annoyed me this morning and instead of dealing with it I did the old passive aggressive thing. I logged in here and saw your post and realised what I was doing. I have had a little tap and I'm now laughing at myself.

So come on Stinkle, it's Friday, no work tomorrow, let's make a decision now to make the rest of today better and do something nice over the weekend. Smiles on faces (even if we have to fake it):)

lukesmom

Have first session of psychology today with a new person. Bit nervous but hoping it goes okay. Don't like opening up to strangers and not sure what to even talk about?

Hersheys

lukesmom wrote: »

Have first session of psychology today with a new person. Bit nervous but hoping it goes okay. Don't like opening up to strangers and not sure what to even talk about?

They will lead the session.

Best of luck xx

lukesmom

Hersheys wrote: »

They will lead the session.

Best of luck xx

Thanks it went well. He helped me understand stuff even after the first session which was an assessment. I told him my fears of being sick again and also fears of withdrawing from meds when the time comes. He really helped my look at these fears from an outside perspective. When I was coming out it just so happens my psychiatrist was there and she asked how I'm getting on. She really put my mind at ease too. Have to say I've some great professionals working with me I'm lucky.

stinkle

murria wrote: »

Hi Stinkle,

The thing about techniques like breathing or tapping is that they are so useful for exactly times like this. Do your breathing, go look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Now let it pass and let go of it. The important part of your post is the bit in bold, nothing happened and you are okay. It's not all your fault.

A colleague annoyed me this morning and instead of dealing with it I did the old passive aggressive thing. I logged in here and saw your post and realised what I was doing. I have had a little tap and I'm now laughing at myself.

So come on Stinkle, it's Friday, no work tomorrow, let's make a decision now to make the rest of today better and do something nice over the weekend. Smiles on faces (even if we have to fake it):)

thanks so much for the support, I read i earlier but couldnt reply and it helped a lot. Glad to have helped your situation too! I've been avoiding my stressful work situation a lot, which is great, but the odd time when I have to deal with these people is magnified so I stress.

Really didnt have the energy to put a brave face on it today but did ok! I'm the type of person that if someone has upset me or if I know they cant be trusted then I get very cold around them. Not rude, but I just find it hard to be chirpy when I've been hurt, and can't even look them in the eye. I guess its a defence mechanism, though it sounds childish of me. I managed to be pleasant around the difficult people (just talking about weather etc) and felt better for my efforts. Maybe I'm getting more mature! In fairness, I also had a lot built up in my head too, it was probably never going to be as bad as I had assumed either.

Got to meet with lots of decent people too which gave me a lift and made it easier to deal with the others. Then after speaking with a friend about all the stuff I have to do a lightbulb went off in my head and I just decided to postpone the stuff that can be postponed. Just talking out loud was brilliant! I was trying to cram a lot into next week - the reason for that is that I'm actually desperate to wind down before the time comes to leave the job, but every week it's like more and more things get added to the list; so I was planning an ambitious week to get lots finished, but was dreading it too.

Am back in the "nice" environment now having tea and a cake as a reward for doing ok. Treated myself to a taxi earlier when I managed to escape and it felt good speeding away. Postponing stuff now means I have more free time this weekend and will try to meet some supportive friends later tonight (as now I wont be working late!). Things actually turned out ok, and I'm so grateful for the help and support.

One little blip was a stupid email I got regarding some work my colleague often leaves till the last minute/isnt very conscientious about, which causes problems for other people. They were being called on it by someone senior and I have an awful feeling that they'll try to push the blame onto me somehow or dramatise it to make me look bad, now that someone else is on their case. It's in the back of my mind all day but I'm trying to put into action the stuff the therapist has recommended, i.e. it nothing will probably happen, and if it does it can be dealt with then, no point in worrying over something you have no control over.

murria

Glad you made it through the day Stinkle. I'm not sure if you realise, but you always seem to reason everything out as you're writing and by the time you've posted it sounds like you have a grip on things. Thank God things rarely turn out like we imagine.

My colleague popped in to ask me for some advice later this morning, and then left me a Wispa bar to thank me!! One of us got the wrong end of the stick and I think it might have been me.

Enjoy your weekend.

cloud493

Have been doing worse than usual over the past couple of weeks. Hoped it'd pass, but it hasn't. Not a great feeling.

Nickname777

Totalelf wrote: »

Nickname 777, please do not feel you are alone. There are plenty of people out there to be friends with. Please contact teen agencies dealing with isolation and depression or the Samaritans, pieta house or any of the other agencies. Please believe you are special and unique, and just because you don't have a huge circle of friends, it doesn't mean you are less of a person, just rather more choosy about your friends. I am an extremely shy person with very few friends but I get by with fairly ok acquaintances. I wish you all the best in the future and please confide in your parents if you can and if not, please keep posting here, where you are amongst friends. Xx

Thanks for the message, it helps me feel better, I am not as depressed as I was that day but I fell I need to do something to stop it happening again, thank you for your kind words of support.

murria

cloud493 wrote: »

Have been doing worse than usual over the past couple of weeks. Hoped it'd pass, but it hasn't. Not a great feeling.

That's a pain Cloud. Maybe it's also got to do with being out of routine, like mid-term and then back to regular hours this week. Hang in there and give things a chance to settle down for a bit. Ask for help if you need it.

lukesmom

cloud493 wrote: »

Have been doing worse than usual over the past couple of weeks. Hoped it'd pass, but it hasn't. Not a great feeling.

Hope it passes for you soon cloud. Hang on in there and we are all here for you .

Gremlinertia

Heading home later from a few days in england. It's been a relaxing time, small waves of panic about coming back now but that's how it is i guess.

Haven't been on here much, hope you are all still battling ahead.

stinkle

murria wrote: »

Glad you made it through the day Stinkle. I'm not sure if you realise, but you always seem to reason everything out as you're writing and by the time you've posted it sounds like you have a grip on things. Thank God things rarely turn out like we imagine.

My colleague popped in to ask me for some advice later this morning, and then left me a Wispa bar to thank me!! One of us got the wrong end of the stick and I think it might have been me.

Enjoy your weekend.

weekend was good, caught up on sleep and relaxed a lot. I felt a bit weird yesterday cos I felt I hadn;t "achieved" anything with my weekend and was having the Sunday evening blues. Told myself that I needed that relax time and there was no reason to feel that way. Sometimes I volunteer on weekends but had already done some helping out earlier in the week so maybe that's why I felt strange.

Just thought I'd highlight the bit in bold above - it's a huge compliment actually but also helpful! Writing like that is therapeutic for me, but also is a bonus in my line of work. Getting stuff written focuses the mind a bit and helps me think of solutions a bit quicker. For me anyway, if I dont write stuff down it doesnt get done, but I only apply that to my work schedule but am thinking of incorporating it into normal life - eg bit of exercise, plan proper meals, spread out boring chores etc, to take the edge off feeling overwhelmed all the time.

Work has been grand today, I woke with a bit of dread but no need really, other than my usual stress of hating havng to ask for help. I might need to stay a bit later but don't mind too much as there's an interesting job with my name written all over it. Am throwing myself into job hunting, am sick of feeling trapped here but that's what it is. If I quit without somewhere to go we have no money; all I can do is wait out my contract and at least be eligible for dole, or hope that something new comes my way before that happens.

I hope MOnday isn't too bad for everyone. I dropped my keys earlier and was really cheered (and mortified!) after a kind stranger chased after me with them. Had music on so couldnt hear if they were shouting at me or not just had a feeling it was going to be a good day, and so far, so good.

Gremlinertia

Back and in work in less than 24 hours. Back to earth with a bang.. Oh well, shields up, march on..

stinkle

Hopefully the thoughts of work are worse than the reality, and the few days away did you good

lukesmom

Found out that my mother in law told all her family (sisters and brothers) about my 3 month depression this year and me being in hospital. She also told her neighbour. So annoyed . It's a private matter and she should never have done this.

delthedriver

lukesmom wrote: »

Found out that my mother in law told all her family (sisters and brothers) about my 3 month depression this year and me being in hospital. She also told her neighbour. So annoyed . It's a private matter and she should never have done this.

You are quite correct, it is a personal, private matter.

Don't let it upset you , instead continue to look after yourself. Don't get sidetracked worrying about other people and what they may or may not think.

Be kind to yourself.:)

lukesmom

delthedriver wrote: »

You are quite correct, it is a personal, private matter.

Don't let it upset you , instead continue to look after yourself. Don't get sidetracked worrying about other people and what they may or may not think.

Be kind to yourself.:)

Thanks, nothing I can do about it now anyway. It's something I would never ever do to somebody.

delthedriver

lukesmom wrote: »

Thanks, nothing I can do about it now anyway. It's something I would never ever do to somebody.

Mother-in-law, who would be without one! Take her off your Xmas card list !

LOL

herisson

I got such good news today but i literally cant be happy because of another thing that has been nagging me and nagging me. Im so down because of this and i cant stop crying. Its easy for people to say i need to focus on the positive but the negative just has such a strong hold on me that i cant get rid of it.

lukesmom

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

I got such good news today but i literally cant be happy because of another thing that has been nagging me and nagging me. Im so down because of this and i cant stop crying. Its easy for people to say i need to focus on the positive but the negative just has such a strong hold on me that i cant get rid of it.

Hi is there anybody you can speak to about this thing nagging you? Family or a friend? To get it off your chest might help a bit.