What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Sky King · 21-03-2012 7:19pm

I have a bar in me pants that would bate a donkey out of a quarry.

and I STILL can't think of any funny Irishisms.

benway · 21-03-2012 7:27pm

Mickey H wrote: »

F*** me pink.

**** me blue and call me a smurf, no?

Ah, bite the back a me ballix.

A0 · 21-03-2012 10:31pm

"Mods feel free to move this"

O-Deazy · 21-03-2012 10:42pm

She has a gowl on her like a donkey's yawn..

firefly08 · 21-03-2012 10:44pm

Once said of unscrupulous money lenders: "He'd lend his arse and **** through his ribs"

Really hungry: "I'd ate an apple through a letterbox"

I reject the premise of the question: "Ask me bollix!"

My own personal favourite: "Go n-ithe an cat thu/ is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat" (May the cat ate you, and may the divil ate the cat!)

And yes it's ate not eat

AngryBollix · 21-03-2012 11:02pm

Orange69 wrote: »

Bertie Ahearn is a competent and inspiring leader.

so's your oul one

holystungun9 · 21-03-2012 11:35pm

That fella has no idea what he's at, he might as well be looking into a field of thistles.

Some head on ya for batin in back doors.

Doc Ruby · 22-03-2012 12:15am

firefly08 wrote: »

Really hungry: "I'd ate an apple through a letterbox"

I'd ate the back door buttered.

Halo Kitty · 22-03-2012 12:18am

I'll be with you now in a minute...

Doc Ruby · 22-03-2012 12:19am

Ara sure what wouldya go on out of that for the love of jesus mary joseph and all the angels and saints above between us and all harm, god rest his soul may the road rise up to him.

EarlERizer · 22-03-2012 12:40am

Couple of my favs
When i'm hungry - "I could ate the balls off a low flying crow"

When I'm asked to assist someone with something I've no knowledge of - "I may as well be looking up a cows ar$e"

...and one(s) I've heard

When greeted with "Whats the craic? - either "The end with the lips that dont move as much" or the more crass "The best part of a woman" *runs for cover*

donalg1 · 22-03-2012 12:41am

Hola

Fluorescence · 22-03-2012 1:11am

sarah. wrote: »

haha such a great thread, just read through most of it and it's just brilliant! I know some myself but can't for the world think of them! feck it anyway!

Such an inspired post to bring back a thread from 2007...

previous user · 22-03-2012 2:32am

2 euro for a hostel?

Marcus_Crassus · 22-03-2012 2:48am

Another hungry one:

"I'd eat the arse off a low flying duck"

You'd say this about a miser or a tight bloke:

"Here's short arms, long pockets"

MonkeyGuy · 22-03-2012 11:25am

Using hoof as a verb.

As in, "HOOF DE BALL UP TA BIG JOHN MCGUINESS IN DE FULL FARWARD LINE"

Ghandee · 22-03-2012 11:42am

Go and ask me shoite!

Potential-Monke · 22-03-2012 12:10pm

"I'm so hungry, I could suck cold puke through a tinkers sock!"

MadYaker · 22-03-2012 12:18pm

You've a face like a pig licking piss off a nettle.

May you be half an hour is heaven before the devil knows you're dead!

Also, Hows she cuttin?

Potential-Monke · 22-03-2012 12:36pm

Oh, and one my father uses that i haven't heard anyone else use when referring to someone: "Fuckdog".

carolinej · 23-03-2012 12:14am

She's as flahual (flathulach) with her money.

ToddyDoody · 23-03-2012 12:25am

'i'm goin pissin', 'she got a good kick up the arse' and 'are you doing lines with anyone?'

Giruilla · 23-03-2012 12:27am

**** libh

deise go deo · 23-03-2012 12:43am

Go ndéana an diabhal toirneach do d'anam in ifreann
May the divil make thunder of your soul in hell

Irish is a great language to curse people in, so much more inventive than just telling someone to fo fúck themselves, though you can say that too, 'Feistigh ort'.

marozz · 23-03-2012 12:45am

" I'm in the height of it "

Ambient Occlusion · 23-03-2012 1:25am

"The curse a' fcukin' Jaysus!"
"The curse of the holy farmer on yeh!"
"He's as rough as a bear's arse"
"I've got two balls but neither of them are a crystal"

Al Capwned · 23-03-2012 1:42am

"There's a wind out there that'd blow a knacker off his sister....."

winston82 · 23-03-2012 3:30am

Thread should be renamed to "unfunny spud gobbler quotes that you'd never hear in Dublin"

ToddyDoody · 23-03-2012 3:49am

winston82 wrote: »

Thread should be renamed to "unfunny spud gobbler quotes that you'd never hear in Dublin"

with remarks like that you'd swear dublin doesnt even want to be the 33rd county

Chuckle2 · 08-12-2012 10:45pm

You're some tashty budgie !

DEFTLEFTHAND · 08-12-2012 11:12pm

Sound as a trout.

Laika1986 · 08-12-2012 11:16pm

As mad as a bag of spiders

admiralofthefleet · 08-12-2012 11:47pm

as its nearly christmas lets sing a song in the style of the pennys ad

'pennys, got a whole lot of things for christmas, and a wig for a baldy gee. fallalaa la la la clitorous, fallalala la la la syphillus, falllala la la la la la, pennys got a whole lot of things for christmas.....[deep voice] and a wig for a baldy gee

heard that of a real dub a few years ago

he had another one:

'there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many kids her gee fell off'

08-12-2012 11:55pm

You'll never beat the Irish.

senorwipesalot · 09-12-2012 12:33am

Me tits are withered.

Sitec · 09-12-2012 12:38am

I will in me ring

ToddyDoody · 09-12-2012 1:15am

"I swear to f**kin jesus"

Vicar in a tutu · 09-12-2012 9:01am

'' Yer nothing but a SHIITEHAWK ''

Heard some elderly women using the following phrases...

'' Ya should be shot with balls of yer own shiite''

Someone asked this woman where so and so was.. her reply
'' HE'S UP ME HO-WAL PICKING DAISIES ''

Mensch Maschine · 09-12-2012 11:43am

Bex81 wrote: »

A friend of mine uses a few good ones on a daily basis:
"Howya now thank God?" (without awaiting the reply)
When you ask her if she has "Any news?", her immediate response will always be "Divil a bit"

My parents were discussing someone who died the other day and my mum says "Did he die in the Times or the Indo?" (ie was he a country-man or a Dub)

Finally, to be read in one of those husky pikey voices a la 'Snatch': "Horse it into me good and proper there boss, nono o that fancy shte"

Sorry, I hope the last one doesnt offend

I've been told a story by some mutual buddies that this guy I know got stuck in to a traveller girl. They were getting it on and his hands went wandering down to which she replied..

"horse it in to me...none of that fancy ****e.." or something to that effect. I'm starting to think it's a spoof now.