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Film reviews, AH Style.

  • 06-10-2010 7:44pm
    #1
    google faps
    Closed Accounts Posts: 112 ✭✭


    MOD SNIP

    OP Banned for being a dick.


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Kasabian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,688 ✭✭✭Kasabian


    Why ruin all these movies for us that had not seen them?

    Seriously I wanted to watch Shutter Island.


  • #3
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Transformers - Sh1t

    Transformers 2 - Sh1t


  • #4
    mstan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭mstan


    Thanks for ruining a load of ****ing films for me


  • #5
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Those are called spoilers mate


  • #6
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Avatar = Blue

    But not in the old fashioned meaning of blue in regard to films :D


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  • #7
    Superbus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,784 ✭✭✭Superbus


    Godfather - too long; didn't watch


  • #8
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    District 9 -- Sh1te film with a poxy accent all the way through. "Fookin prawns"


  • #9
    Sticky_Fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,379 ✭✭✭Sticky_Fingers


    One night in google faps mom
    > resultant offspring ruins a load of movies for people on the internet


  • #10
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    google faps wrote: »
    Donnie darko - F*ck knows.

    Spoilers ffs! :mad:


  • #11
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Snakes on a plane = does exactly what it says on the tin


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  • #12
    clikityclak
    Registered Users Posts: 470 ✭✭clikityclak


    OP you just ruined Shutter Island for me, I didn't even have to click into the thread, boooooooooooooo:mad:


  • #13
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Back to the future: midget nearly rides his ma


  • #14
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    It's Ok to look now. The OP had to leave


  • #15
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    There Will Be Blood : About a man who likes to drink milkshakes.


  • #16
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    about a boy = it's a film eh... about a boy


  • #17
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Mmmm milkshakes


    Citizen Kane: There are no canes.

    That doesn't work written down...


  • #18
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Ghostbusters : Hamlet set in New York


  • #19
    Professional Griefer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,116 ✭✭✭Professional Griefer


    To the 2nd poster, I'm sorry that guy ruined shutter island.
    Without doubt one of my favourite movies of all time. fantastic.

    Freddy Got Fingered is also, quality:D


  • #20
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    FERRIS BUELLERS DAY OFF = AWESOME!! :D


  • #21
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    The Never Ending Story

    It ended


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  • #22
    dezzyd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 197 ✭✭dezzyd


    [Freddy Got Fingered is also, quality:D[/QUOTE]

    Don't know about the entire film but - "daddy would you like a sausage" still stays with me for some reason :confused:


  • #23
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Football Factory - A film about football hooligan scumbags

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre - A film about murderous scumbags

    Dracula - A film about vampire scumbags

    Trainspotting - A film about junkie, dole scrounging scumbags

    Harry Potter - A film about magic student scumbags


  • #24
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    48 hours : 96 minutes.

    Another 48 Hours : 93 minutes.


  • #25
    King Felix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 532 ✭✭✭King Felix


    Mutiny on the Bounty.

    It's about a mutiny on the Bounty.


  • #26
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Rocky = it's not about geology and it's not set in the mountains...


  • #27
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    King Felix wrote: »
    Mutiny on the Bounty.

    It's about a mutiny on the Bounty.

    Good movie. I got it in a boxset with Marathon Man, Galaxy Quest and Ghost of Mars.


  • #28
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    bonerm wrote: »
    Good movie. I got it in a boxset with Marathon Man, Galaxy Quest and Ghost of Mars.

    took a second .....

    most excellent :D


  • #29
    ascanbe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    Titanic:
    the ship sinks

    The Passion of the Christ:
    doesn't end well for the titular character


  • #30
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    This reminds me of a one-word review I read of Dogville: "Dogsh1t".

    The Breakfast Club:
    80s emo chick becomes jockette by lunchtime, snogs jock; pampered prom queen princess and jaded bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks who despise each other... snog by lunchtime; virginal nerd... remains virginal nerd.


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  • #31
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Yisroel Attractive Chair wrote: »
    The Never Ending Story

    It ended

    I think there was

    The Never Ending Story 2

    Then it ended ...


  • #32
    King Felix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 532 ✭✭✭King Felix


    bonerm wrote: »
    Good movie. I got it in a boxset with Marathon Man, Galaxy Quest and Ghost of Mars.

    A good selection.


  • #33
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    There was a Neverending Story III... then it was realised that the franchise had gone from awesome to lame.


  • #34
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Dudess wrote: »
    There was a Neverending Story III... then it was realised that the franchise had gone from awesome to lame.

    Will it never end? :p


  • #35
    Kasabian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,688 ✭✭✭Kasabian


    Dudess wrote: »
    There was a Neverending Story III... then it was realised that the franchise had gone from awesome to lame.

    The hint was in the title.


  • #36
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Dudess wrote: »
    There was a Neverending Story III... then it was realised that the franchise had gone from awesome to lame.

    It's usually a bad sign when the best thing in your film is Jack Black.


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  • #37
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    This one sticks in my mind
    Lindy West, on Sex in the City II wrote:
    If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes
    http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/burkas-and-birkins/Content?oid=4132715


  • #38
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    Top Gun: a bunch of closeted homosexuals fly around in big, long, hard metal things and flirt with each other when they're on the ground.

    Escape From New York: he escapes

    Escape From L.A.: he escapes... again... but it's not as fun this time

    The Matrix: he shoulda took the blue pill...

    Gone In 60 Seconds: took them longer than that......

    Mad Max: his name is Max and he's Mad

    Goodfellas: No pizzas were harmed during the making of this film...

    Speed: It's Die Hard on a bus.

    Air Force One: it's Die Hard on a plane

    Face/Off: it's Die Hard with face swapping and John Woo

    Sudden Death: it's Die Hard with Steven Seagal

    Die Hard: it's Die Hard


  • #39
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    Dean09 wrote: »
    FERRIS BUELLERS DAY OFF = AWESOME!! :D

    Watch Ferris Buellers Day Off again, but apply the story of fight club to it.
    Cameron is Ed Norton, Ferris is Brad Pitt...

    Seriously... think about it...
    Trippy.


  • #40
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    Tom Cruise movies.

    Top gun: He's a pilot. a really good pilot. he has a crisis of confidence, meets a woman, falls for her, becomes the best pilot in the world.

    Cocktail: He's a bartender. a pretty good bartender. He has a crisis of confidence, meets a girl, falls for her and becomes the best bartender that ever did live.

    Days of thunder: He's a nascar driver, a pretty good nascar drives, he has a crisis of confidence, meet a girl, falls for her and becomes the best nascar driver in the wrold.


    rinse and repeat as required.


  • #41
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Seaneh wrote: »
    Tom Cruise movies.

    Top gun: He's a pilot. a really good pilot. he has a crisis of confidence, meets a woman, falls for her, becomes the best pilot in the world.

    Cocktail: He's a bartender. a pretty good bartender. He has a crisis of confidence, meets a girl, falls for her and becomes the best bartender that ever did live.

    Days of thunder: He's a nascar driver, a pretty good nascar drives, he has a crisis of confidence, meet a girl, falls for her and becomes the best nascar driver in the wrold.


    rinse and repeat as required.


    You stole that from Rich Hall.

    Skip to 50 secs in.... http://www.guitarsolos.com/videos-rich-hall-tom-cruise-sketch-[8Vmg9e785lo].cfm


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  • #42
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Return of the Jedi: He was left on his own =[


  • #43
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    You stole that from Rich Hall.

    Skip to 50 secs in.... http://www.guitarsolos.com/videos-rich-hall-tom-cruise-sketch-[8Vmg9e785lo].cfm

    yup.


  • #44
    smokedeels
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,883 ✭✭✭smokedeels


    My Dad's synopsis of Avatar: "The one with the 'lad in the wheelchair"


  • #45
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Basic Instinct = Sharon Stones fanny.


  • #46
    The Maverick
    Registered Users Posts: 417 ✭✭The Maverick


    Downfall: Huge Spoiler!
    The germans lose the war.


  • #47
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Caddilac Man: Nothing to do with Caddilacs and the bloke doesn't sell a single car...


  • #48
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    My Left Foot: Stewie Griffin explains it best


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANaQY5550YU


  • #49
    bm365
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭bm365


    Herbie: A Volkswagen with a mind of its own driving around all over the place and going mad - if that's not scary, I don't know what is!


  • #50
    The guy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,373 ✭✭✭The guy


    The passion of the christ:
    Jesus dies


  • #51
    flyton5
    Registered Users Posts: 1,112 ✭✭✭flyton5


    Red Dawn - Best film EVER!!

    Soon to be remade I believe. Watch the original. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dawn


    Teeth - I'll Never look at a vagina the same.


    Top Gun - Kelly McGillis is hot
    Witness - Kelly McGillis is wrecked...but gets her baps out. Yes yes.


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