Help! My lodger is a conspiracy nut.

Terry · 21-08-2010 02:51PM

Update:
There is an alien base on the dark side of the moon. There are dome shaped buildings, and all the astronauts wh have been in space have seen it.

World leaders were warned to not put weapons in space by the aliens.

There are several different races visiting Earth. Some of them look just like humans and are walking among us.
They have flown their spacecrafts over the buildings where nukes are kept, and as they fly over all the power goes down in the bases.

Is there any way I can block him from accessing youtube through my router?
He's connected through the wireless and I'm the one who's wired (pun intended).

alwaysadub · 21-08-2010 02:53PM

Do you have a security code to get into your wireless? If not, get one set up, and blame the government or something when he wonders why he can't get onto the net.

21-08-2010 03:08PM

log onto the router and switch off the wireless interface.

veryangryman · 21-08-2010 03:33PM

Terry wrote: »

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

Think of Perfect Day. Not an actual perfect day (which is clearly not what your having) but the Lou Reed Song.

"Your going to reap just what you sow...
Reap, reap reap...what you sow..."

Seriously though, I do feel bad for you. Hard to get rid of such drivel and not have conscience get in the way. Good that your trying to do the right thing

Denerick · 21-08-2010 03:44PM

Terry wrote: »

Update:
There is an alien base on the dark side of the moon. There are dome shaped buildings, and all the astronauts wh have been in space have seen it.

World leaders were warned to not put weapons in space by the aliens.

There are several different races visiting Earth. Some of them look just like humans and are walking among us.
They have flown their spacecrafts over the buildings where nukes are kept, and as they fly over all the power goes down in the bases.

Is there any way I can block him from accessing youtube through my router?
He's connected through the wireless and I'm the one who's wired (pun intended).

Next time he tells you about a theory, scream in a nervous twitchy voice, 'ENOUGH. SILENCE. YOU DIG TOO FAR, FOUL FIEND'. See how he reacts to that. Occasionaly hiss at him and dance like a monkey on speed every so often.

If you do this often enough, he'll formulate a conspiracy theory of his own, putting you at the heart of it.

RolandIRL · 21-08-2010 03:46PM

tell him you are one of the visiting aliens

you have a laser gun in your closet and if he doesn't keep quiet, you'll have to kill him

cypharius · 21-08-2010 04:00PM

Conspiracy nits are conspiring against us, they're luring us into a false sense of insecurity so that we don't realize the truth.

The Twin Towers never existed!

OutlawPete · 21-08-2010 04:05PM

Tell him David Icke is signing copies of a new book in Easons tomorrow.

Will only work for one day but at least you can fap in peace.

Or you could just go on YouTube / Google video yourself, download and burn some documentaries that prove him wrong.

Then just tell him a mate lent you some DVD 'regarding' (keyword) the 9/11 / Moon landings / Princess Diana murder conspiracies.

Then just watch as if you are being slowly convinced also that there really is no conspiracy at all.

Then go out, pull some ladies, shag them, record it all .. launch Lepreporn.com, make millions, buy some yachts, sail the world, live the dream.

Terry · 21-08-2010 04:54PM

alwaysadub wrote: »

Do you have a security code to get into your wireless? If not, get one set up, and blame the government or something when he wonders why he can't get onto the net.

Deleted User wrote: »

log onto the router and switch off the wireless interface.

I'm not that much of a ****. I'd never deny him full access to the net.

OutlawPete wrote: »

Tell him David Icke is signing copies of a new book in Easons tomorrow.

Will only work for one day but at least you can fap in peace.

Or you could just go on YouTube / Google video yourself, download and burn some documentaries that prove him wrong.

Then just tell him a mate lent you some DVD 'regarding' (keyword) the 9/11 / Moon landings / Princess Diana murder conspiracies.

Then just watch as if you are being slowly convinced also that there really is no conspiracy at all.

Then go out, pull some ladies, shag them, record it all .. launch Lepreporn.com, make millions, buy some yachts, sail the world, live the dream.

The ironic thing is that he doesn't take David Icke seriously. He likes Stephen Hawking though. Is that dude still alive?

I think he sort of got the hint earlier. While he was telling me about the moon base, I grabbed a postit, wrote "I WANT TO BELIEVE!" on it and stuck it on his chest.

Overheal · 21-08-2010 05:21PM

I'm not that much of a ****. I'd never deny him full access to the net.

But GOOGLE WOULD.

"Don't be Evil"

Terry · 21-08-2010 05:52PM

Overheal wrote: »

But GOOGLE WOULD.

"Don't be Evil"

It's a vegan hippie friend of mine sending him all these links.

Gummy Panda · 21-08-2010 05:57PM

Terry wrote: »

Update:
There is an alien base on the dark side of the moon. There are dome shaped buildings, and all the astronauts wh have been in space have seen it.

Its Nazis not aliens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KEueJnsu80

PirateShampoo · 21-08-2010 06:03PM

Just keep offering him glass's of tap water and tell him it will help calm him down.

Terry · 21-08-2010 06:09PM

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Just keep offering him glass's of tap water and tell him it will help calm him down.

He hasn't discovered the tap water conspiracy yet. Thank ****. It's only a matter of time though. The dude sending the links doesn't drink it. He won't even cook with it. Bottled water all the way.

Heh. He removed me as a friend on Facebook after I put a link on his page to a story about some plants having a nervous system similar to that of some animals, and asked him what he was going to eat now.

21-08-2010 06:12PM

Terry wrote: »

I'm not that much of a ****. I'd never deny him full access to the net.

.

Set him up with a proxy server that has maxumum child safety enabled.

Terry · 21-08-2010 06:22PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Set him up with a proxy server that has maxumum child safety enabled.

He's computer illiterate. Earlier today he called me up to his room because he couldn't find a word file he was working on.
I looked at the screen, and asked him if it was called "Book". He said yes, so I double clicked the icon on his desktop and opened the file. He was amazed.
Any time he has the slightest problem, he asks me to fix it.

What I need is a way to convince him that youtube is blocked in Ireland or something.

21-08-2010 07:33PM

Terry wrote: »

He's computer illiterate. Earlier today he called me up to his room because he couldn't find a word file he was working on.
I looked at the screen, and asked him if it was called "Book". He said yes, so I double clicked the icon on his desktop and opened the file. He was amazed.
Any time he has the slightest problem, he asks me to fix it.

What I need is a way to convince him that youtube is blocked in Ireland or something.

Should be easy then, get a "net nanny" app and tell him it's an anti-virus programme, install it with the "infant" mode, no more youtube.

edit: just use the "content advisor" under tools/internet options/content, and add youtube to the block list.

21-08-2010 07:37PM

Terry...
What would your CT nut do if they thought you had changed your user name?

Terry · 21-08-2010 07:37PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Should be easy then, get a "net nanny" app and tell him it's an anti-virus programme, install it with the "infant" mode, no more youtube.

edit: just use the "content advisor" under tools/internet options/content, and add youtube to the block list.

I would, but like I said, he calls me every time something goes wrong with his pc.

I need someone with photoshop skills to do one of those fake newspaper thingies. One which says that youtube have blocked access to Ireland.

21-08-2010 07:41PM

Terry wrote: »

I need someone with photoshop skills to do one of those fake newspaper thingies. One which says that youtube have blocked access to Ireland.

http://www.worldonews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/youtube-blocked-News-1006.png

Terry · 21-08-2010 07:58PM

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Terry...
What would your CT nut do if they thought you had changed your user name?

I don't know what you mean by that.

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

http://www.worldonews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/youtube-blocked-News-1006.png

Close, but I need a fake article to go with it.

Millicent · 21-08-2010 08:03PM

Terry wrote: »

I don't know what you mean by that.

Close, but I need a fake article to go with it.

Terry, how about telling him about Google's amassing info? Google is now linked to youtube so you could tell him everything he types into the search bar is being recorded.

http://www.lockergnome.com/political/2004/11/02/google-conspiracy-theory/

http://www.google-watch.org/bigbro.html

Poor Uncle Tom · 21-08-2010 08:14PM

Millicent wrote: »

Terry, how about telling him about Google's amassing info? Google is now linked to youtube so you could tell him everything he types into the search bar is being recorded.

http://www.lockergnome.com/political/2004/11/02/google-conspiracy-theory/

http://www.google-watch.org/bigbro.html

I thought you were going to make stuff up....

Millicent · 21-08-2010 09:04PM

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

I thought you were going to make stuff up....

I am sorry. How bout this instead then? These ones are true but deadly (quite literally in the syphilis case)!

goose2005 · 21-08-2010 09:30PM

Put in these contact lenses

and start wearing sunglasses all the time and acting strangely. If he pulls off the glasses, hiss at him and run away.

jimmycrackcorm · 21-08-2010 09:41PM

Terry wrote: »

I would, but like I said, he calls me every time something goes wrong with his pc.

I need someone with photoshop skills to do one of those fake newspaper thingies. One which says that youtube have blocked access to Ireland.

Why would you want to do that. You can have so much fun. I wish I had a pet conspiracy nut. Unlike a dog or a cat you sonny have to clean up after them but you do get to play.

Terry · 21-08-2010 09:45PM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Why would you want to do that. You can have so much fun. I wish I had a pet conspiracy nut. Unlike a dog or a cat you sonny have to clean up after them but you do get to play.

Ok, I got the first bit and I like the idea of winding him up, but I have no idea what happened after that.

A fake youtube conspiracy video? I could do that.

rebelmomma · 21-08-2010 09:48PM

Are there any awards on boards for most entertaining threads??

Terry · 04-10-2010 10:24PM

Motherfúcker just came in and gave me grief. I knocked the bollix out of him.
I'm not proud, but it had to be done.

alwaysadub · 04-10-2010 10:27PM

Terry wrote: »

Motherfúcker just came in and gave me grief. I knocked the bollix out of him.
I'm not proud, but it had to be done.

Well,that's one way to get rid of him i suppose..

Help! My lodger is a conspiracy nut.

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