The Fathers Thread

Melion · 22-12-2008 12:48am #1

Am i the only male that looks in here?

dodgyme · 22-12-2008 12:14pm

Melion wrote: »

Am i the only male that looks in here?

nope

arctictree · 26-12-2008 11:40pm

I look here too because my wife refuses to look at boards. Apparently it gives me 'bad ideas' !

embee · 27-12-2008 2:09pm

Hello dads!

Good idea to have the male perspective - there are a lot of mammies on here!

Why don't ye introduce yourselves, how many kids, ages etc. Expectant dads are more than welcome too! Its always nice to talk to other parents who are at similar stages to you, so if you're a new Dad, or parenting toddlers, primary school age kids, teens or even want to moan about your adult children who won't leave the nest, feel free to contribute!

Nevyn · 27-12-2008 2:29pm

and it is good for Dads to share with each other thier experiences cos really only they know what it is like having an expectant partner and what it is like to be a daddy to be.

RobAMerc · 27-12-2008 2:33pm

hey guys, names Rob as you might have guessed - other half is 12 weeks gone with our first.
I am delighted obviously but totally petrified - like seriously scared !

nice to meet you guys.

January · 27-12-2008 5:29pm

Welcome Rob! Congratulations on the pregnancy! My OH was terrified too but he's brilliant with our daughter

It's great to see the two of them bonding!

Melion · 27-12-2008 11:06pm

RobAMerc wrote: »

hey guys, names Rob as you might have guessed - other half is 12 weeks gone with our first.
I am delighted obviously but totally petrified - like seriously scared !

nice to meet you guys.

Replace Rob with Mel and 12 with 11 and its the same from me.

Not too scared though, just dont think its set in yet.

gerrycollins · 29-12-2008 4:39pm

nope another man here, well a boy for a few days more.

I have two absolute darling children, a girl 2 and a half, boy 7 months and another in the oven for the last 12 weeks.

Rob, if I can do it so can anyone I was terrified when our first was born but so long as there is a team ie you and your OH then your laughing. the subs bench of mother and father, in laws and out laws, come in very handy as do helpful sisters and brothers but tell them to back off for the first few weeks, get your selves in order first.

take photos, dont do the stupid first hair cut, nail cut etc like the books ask you to do just enjoy any time you have bonding with your little beauty, talk to them(so you fell stupid so what) watch for their smile it will melt your heart no matter how bad your day was.

Leave the work at work there is plenty to do when you get home. dont forget the nappies and stock up on pure essentials. anything retailers say is good for you baby developments and cost money is not needed today(tell your OH) all you need is your selves the rest will follow. try and arrange with family not to be given clothes or toys, we have bags and bags of unused clothes because they grow up so fast and there is never enough time to wear everything especially for a first child. try opening an account for them.

one final tip experiment with making bottles way before the birth, i didnt until we brought our girl home and that was a fast experience let me tell you.

also on the first day home get a close friend or family member(just one not the cast of annie) who has kids or experience,somebody who will answer your questions but not tell you how to do it.

lastly enjoy ever precuious moment you can because they grow up so quickly

newmills · 29-12-2008 10:51pm

Another man/lad/boy/child here!!

Two girls - one is 3, the other is 1 and one is 12weeks in the oven.
The 1st is difficult make no mistake. Sleepless nights really are bad - seriously bad. If you can get a routine going you will be on your feet in no time. The 2nd little one was much easier - we did the opposite of the 1st and it worked!! Life will change but it'll be for the better.
Keep everyone informed of how things are going. I'm currently living with the missus who has a serious bout of the flu and terrible morning sickness. She's on tablets from her doc for the morning sickness and can take nothing for the flu. She's spent most of christmas in bed - actually the last 2 months!! You manage!!:D

flanzer · 30-12-2008 11:35am

I was in here until last October, now I've moved on to the Parenting Forum

Always found this forum very useful for the 9/10 months up to October 6th, a great place for the male half to share their experiences

dodgyme · 30-12-2008 1:09pm

years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?

January · 30-12-2008 2:16pm

My boyfriend was there right up untill I was brought for my c section, unfortunately I was under general anesthetic so they wouldn't let him in for that part. He was brilliant, has a phobia of needles yet watched me getting my epidural and held my hand and everything.

He didn't get to cut the cord but I think he was going to had I given birth naturally!

Just be supportive, hold her hand, talk to her... we had a great laugh because I was out of it on gas and air... if she goes for it be prepared to laugh at her, it's a terrible thing to say, but the amount of crap you spout when you take it is unbelievable...

marti101 · 30-12-2008 2:50pm

dodgyme wrote: »

years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?

Ah i wouldnt worry my bf was the same.I had to send him out of the room he looked a bit green.Its really between yourselves if hes there or not nobody elses decision.Good Luck and keep popping back.

wcullen · 30-12-2008 2:58pm

First Time dad (26) of a 7 Month Girl...

Its honestly not as bad as you think its going to be...

The smile at 3 in the morning from her would melt the coldest hearts!

Was there a national power cut 12 weeks ago???

Rev Hellfire · 30-12-2008 3:09pm

Another Dad here, two kids, Boy aged seven and a girl aged 5 with cp.

The_Conductor · 30-12-2008 8:20pm

Melion wrote: »

Am i the only male that looks in here?

Certainly not......

My wife is newly pregnant and is really stressing out about all sorts of things pregnancy related, but also finances etc.
I hope to find out how other people address all aspects of pregnancy and bringing up a child, its going to be a steep learning curve for both of us!

Shane

Quackles · 30-12-2008 11:11pm

dodgyme wrote: »

years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?

My hubby is the same. He'll come in with me, but he doesn't so much as glance down the 'business' end. I suggested cutting the cord, he wonders why he should when the professionals are paid to do that sort of thing :rolleyes: I think it's perfectly normal, to be honest, I wouldn't want to cut it either

dodgyme · 31-12-2008 11:34am

Quackles wrote: »

why he should when the professionals are paid to do that sort of thing :rolleyes:

someone said something similar to me "I am paying private for them to cut the chord" followed by some bad analogy like "when I go to the hairdresser, he doesnt ask me to cut my own hair" - sure its no wonder I am the way I am.:rolleyes:

PS: I want to stay north of the border also.

gosplan · 04-01-2009 3:51pm

I'm terrified but not of being a father - just that something will go wrong.

All the post birth stuff I couldn't care less about, just that it all goes OK for both my wife and future child. Is there any way to get over this or come to terms with it?

HJ Simpson · 05-01-2009 4:46pm

My wife is 12weeks pregnant with our first. We are both over the moon. We are going to wait another week or two before telling everyone. The families know but friends and work dont know yet!

KBarry · 05-01-2009 6:45pm

My wife is 34 weeks pregnant with our first, so not long to go now. Both of us were quite worried it would be a difficult pregnancy (we are late 30s) but so far so good, apart from the 'morning' sickness for the first couple of months. Beats me why they call it morning sickness anyway. It was 24 hrs for my mrs.
I'd rather not be at the business end when it happens tbh. I will sit beside her though, saying not very helpful things like "Go on girl, get it out", whilst trying not to pass out.
Can't wait to get stuck into the dirty nappies though.

Melion · 05-01-2009 6:49pm

We're booked in for our first appointment next Monday. Basically, im confused as to what im going to be doing. Will i be allowed into all the rooms etc with her? We were in the hospital a few weeks ago and we were put in seperate waiting rooms for 6 hours, it was a joke.

January · 05-01-2009 7:26pm

Depends on what hospital!

I know when the Rotunda had it's old emergency room that partners were not allowed in, but now they have the new one my partner was allowed in when I was in labour!

For the first visit my partner was allowed in to all the rooms he choose not to come in when I was getting my blood tests as he has a phobia of needles, but done very well when I was in labour and was getting the epidural, he just stood in front of me holding my hand!

Quackles · 05-01-2009 8:25pm

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Depends on what hospital!

I know when the Rotunda had it's old emergency room that partners were not allowed in, but now they have the new one my partner was allowed in when I was in labour!

For the first visit my partner was allowed in to all the rooms he choose not to come in when I was getting my blood tests as he has a phobia of needles, but done very well when I was in labour and was getting the epidural, he just stood in front of me holding my hand!

It's funny how different hospitals differ - my husband was sent out of the room while I was having my epidural last time.

watna · 07-01-2009 2:41am

smccarrick wrote: »

Certainly not......

My wife is newly pregnant and is really stressing out about all sorts of things pregnancy related, but also finances etc.
I hope to find out how other people address all aspects of pregnancy and bringing up a child, its going to be a steep learning curve for both of us!

Shane

Didn't realise you guys were expecting a baby already!

I'm so pleased for you both. It must be such a blessing after everything you've been through.

Congratulations and best of luck to you both.

/me gets broody!

iggy · 07-01-2009 5:55pm

Mrs iggy pregnant with our first.

She is 24 weeks gone and we went for scan yesterday..
Found out im gonna have a son.... im over the moon

:):):)

HJ Simpson · 08-01-2009 5:07pm

As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!

CathyMoran · 08-01-2009 7:10pm

My husband was at my first appointment but I know that he can not go to all of them (am diabetic with other risk factors and so far they are every 2 weeks) - it is a great comfort to have your partner there at least for the first one. I would certainly advise you to be there for the scans (if possible) as it makes baby seem more real for both of you and you can see it grow - there is nothing better than seeing your babies heartbeat for the first time.

gerrycollins · 08-01-2009 11:44pm

HJ Simpson wrote: »

As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!

i didnt go with my wife to her first as they are just blood test and form filling went to every other one in the coombe becasue she was diabetice had to go every two weeks.

as for diabetic a bit off topic please read up on it yourself with your GP because looking back now the Coombe were less than informative on the situation

nlgbbbblth · 09-01-2009 12:33am

Another Dad here, two children. Boy is two years nine months and his sister is one year three months.

Went to one of the scans and the ante-natal classes.

I was present for both births but averted my eyes a lot of the time. It's very hard to see your wife screaming with pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Melion · 12-01-2009 6:38pm

Had first scheduled hospital visit today. First scan down and all is good and healthy, seen the heart beating which was good.

BrookieD · 12-01-2009 9:03pm

Hi All
Darren here, one 6 year old boy and the wife is now 11 weeks on second. With the first i was scared sh****ss but all worked out and we have a great boy with very good manners (very important).
Looking forward to the next so will be popping back for a read of the threads here.

My tip:-
take each day as it comes and enjoy it. i dont know where the last six years went but it went very quickly

RobAMerc · 14-01-2009 10:51pm

hi all, does anybody know of a good book thats either specifically for dads to be or has a good section for us ?

Nevyn · 15-01-2009 10:38am

http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386/ref=pd_cp_b_2?pf_rd_p=413864201&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201

The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second Edition

Product Details

* Paperback: 271 pages
* Publisher: Abbeville Press; 2 edition (May 2001)
* Language: English
* ISBN-10: 0789205386
* ISBN-13: 978-0789205384

In an expanded and updated version of Brott's 1995 book, the authors once again present a month-by-month guide to pregnancy for the father-to-be. Illustrated throughout with humorous cartoons, the book divides each month of pregnancy into four astute categories: "What She's Going Through" (physical and emotion changes), "What's Going On with the Baby" (physical progress), "What You're Going Through" (physical and emotional changes) and "Staying Involved" (tips on supporting and encouraging the pregnant partner). Since most child-rearing books for men focus primarily on the emotional challenges, it's both refreshing and helpful that these authors include practical advice: recipes, detailed insights into the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 and realistic appraisals of the often very high costs of baby furnishings. Most valuable are the sections on the aspects of birth that make many men squeamish (episiotomies, epidurals and cesarean sections) as well as the post-delivery traumas that they tend to avoid facing (finding childcare, dealing with late-night wake-ups, dressing young children and sex after pregnancy). This is an essential book for all expectant fathers

http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-Youre-Expecting-Revised/dp/089480829X

What to Expect When You're Expecting

Product Details

* Paperback: 454 pages
* Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; Revised edition (November 1996)
* Language: English
* ISBN-10: 089480829X
* ISBN-13: 978-0894808296

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1844250598?tag=gettingpregna-21&camp=1406&creative=6394

The Haynes Baby Manual: Conception to Two Years
5177QYW1MPL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

Product Description
Taking delivery of a new baby is even more exciting than taking delivery of a new car (at least for most people). It can also be more worrying - after all, if you decide you've made a mistake you can't send the baby back to the factory or trade it in for another one. Conception, pregnancy and birth can nowaddays be associated with some very high-tech equipment, but underneath the monitors and scanner screens the basic process is the same as it ever was (just as the internal combustion engine itself has not changed, despite being surrounded by electronic sensors and control units). This manual gives you what you would expect from Haynes: down-to-earth, step-by-step instructions, written by professionals from practical experience. The manual should help you to: decide when and how to start; keep your cool in the delivery room; maintain baby's bodywork in optimum condition; prevent corrosion of vital parts; understand the on-board diagnostic system; and decide when to call in professional assistance.

Product details

* Hardcover: 160 pages
* Publisher: J H Haynes & Co Ltd (4 Jun 2003)
* Language English
* ISBN-10: 1844250598
* ISBN-13: 978-1844250592

RobAMerc · 20-01-2009 12:07am

thanks a lot.
I bought the first one on amazon for 1 p !

I'l get back with a review

HJ Simpson · 20-01-2009 4:11pm

Hi Folks thanks for the responses above have been away for a few days. Yeah I am keen to go to the first appointment. I thought it was just blood test but when she finally got to talk to someone in the hospital it will be a scan aswell!
We got the appointment moved to the 28/01 so fingers crossed all goes well. We told a few more people and are getting really excited.
HJS

elqu · 28-01-2009 2:49pm

HJ Simpson wrote: »

As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!

Go go go - I didn't have my hubby with me for our first scan and there were issues with the baby and it was so hard to be there alone.

everything worked out ok in the end (4w & one amniocentesis later :eek: ) but I will never sail into a scan appt so gaily or alone again!

duploelabs · 29-01-2009 10:19am

most definitely go, nothing beats seeing junior bouncing around the place. I tell ya, it gets very dusty in the room when you see that

HJ Simpson · 29-01-2009 12:22pm

Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

HJS

duploelabs · 29-01-2009 4:51pm

HJ Simpson wrote: »

Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

HJS

Brilliant, you can make little outfits for them and race them

iggy · 29-01-2009 9:27pm

RobAMerc wrote: »

thanks a lot.
I bought the first one on amazon for 1 p !

I'l get back with a review

how you get it for 1p...its showing up $9.56 for me..
think i need to buy a book fairly soon as mrs iggy due 1/5/09

Quackles · 30-01-2009 12:21am

HJ Simpson wrote: »

Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

HJS

Oooh, congratulations! Did you not go into complete and total shock? I think I'd have died if they'd told me I was having twins

January · 30-01-2009 1:44am

HJ Simpson wrote: »

Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

HJS

Congratulations!!

I was 38 weeks pregnant and was booking in for a scan, the woman handed me my chart and said "the twin clinic is down the corridor to the right", I nearly dropped to the floor... thank god it wasn't twins!

embee · 30-01-2009 1:54am

Congrats on your doubly good news, HJ!!!

Do they know yet if they're identical or non-identical? Wow twins... I'd love twins some day!

Just on the books to read.... I have What to Expect when You're Expecting in my drawer. When I was pregnant I read it cover to cover. It was informative, but jesus, try not to read too much of it, particularly the parts about when things go wrong, the special needs baby.

I remember crying after reading a bit of it where they said anencephaly was "incompatible with life". I had nightmares for weeks about having a baby with no head... stupid I know, but sometimes, too much information is bad if it scares the crap out of you!

Their follow up book, What to Expect The First Year, was way better. Loads of practical tips about everything from weaning, to a very useful first aid section etc.

The_Conductor · 30-01-2009 9:10am

Congrats HJ- you must be on cloud 9!

They probably told you at the hospital- the HSE are trying to recruit prospective parents of twins for a national survey- might be something you might be interested in?

S.

duploelabs · 30-01-2009 10:11am

embee wrote: »

Congrats on your doubly good news, HJ!!!

Do they know yet if they're identical or non-identical? Wow twins... I'd love twins some day!

Just on the books to read.... I have What to Expect when You're Expecting in my drawer. When I was pregnant I read it cover to cover. It was informative, but jesus, try not to read too much of it, particularly the parts about when things go wrong, the special needs baby.

I remember crying after reading a bit of it where they said anencephaly was "incompatible with life". I had nightmares for weeks about having a baby with no head... stupid I know, but sometimes, too much information is bad if it scares the crap out of you!

Their follow up book, What to Expect The First Year, was way better. Loads of practical tips about everything from weaning, to a very useful first aid section etc.

We found out in about week 5, and as most first timers do, went out and brought a shed load of books. Read them all and then banned all baby books as they scared seven shades of sh!te out of us. It wasn't until week 14 or so that we could open one again

EKRIUQ · 30-01-2009 10:10pm

My self and the dear wife just had a positive to result on the Clear Blue test this morning about 4am:)

After 3 1/2 years and wondering why it wasn't happening we decided to get a little bit of help and on our first attempt of IUI we seem to hit the jackpot, still sinking in. I've only ever looked at the "Trying to Conceive" forum before, but now I'm after upgrading to the Pregnant forum!.

Next thing now a scan on the 16th of Feb

Quackles · 30-01-2009 10:48pm

EKRIUQ wrote: »

My self and the dear wife just had a positive to result on the Clear Blue test this morning about 4am:)

After 3 1/2 years and wondering why it wasn't happening we decided to get a little bit of help and on our first attempt of IUI we seem to hit the jackpot, still sinking in. I've only ever looked at the "Trying to Conceive" forum before, but now I'm after upgrading to the Pregnant forum!.

Next thing now a scan on the 16th of Feb

Congratulations, fantastic news! The scan is such an amazing moment, enjoy it!

HJ Simpson · 02-02-2009 11:45am

Thanks everyone we are absolutely delighted(might still be shock). Anyway it was just a regular scan when he showed us the head then he moved the ultrasound and another baby came into view! Yeah quite a shock. We have another scan in the next two weeks just to see if they are idenctical. Hopefully everything goes ok. Now I am going to have to get some sleep in I cant imaging I will be getting much for the next few years :-)

DanGlee · 05-02-2009 1:28pm

Question:

This may or may not be a stupid question, but its something thats been bugging me for a little while...

The missus is 7 months preggers now and although she is taking her easy, she's still very active. But whats worrying me a little bit is when she sits down on the couch, she doesn't place herself down slowly, she just slams her arse down as she always did.

I know the baby is in its protective fluid, but I always worry when she does it... I told her about it and she just said "ah shutup, the baby is fine" but we never had one, this is our first so how does she know what damage she is doing?

Maybe I'm just being a little paranoid, but there is no talking to her, she just gets tick when I tell her she shouldn't be doing x, y and z...

Please tell me it all be OK!

Thanks,
Paranoid dad (to be)
DG.

The Fathers Thread

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