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The Fathers Thread

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I honestly think that if you can you should get some counselling for yourself, even if it's to figure out how much or little you are contributing to the factors making you both unhappy. Everyone's limit is different.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 ✭✭✭✭January


    All I can say is fair play to you Prosperous Dave. I'm a woman and if I was like that with my husband he would have packed his bags a long time ago and left.

    I think maybe she resents the fact that you can mind four children and still do everything else around the house. Maybe she secretly wants you to fail and ask for her help so she can rub it in your face? Forgive me for that last comment.

    It's so not on not telling you that one of your children is ill. I would have been lynched if I done this to my partner.

    I think the counselling for yourself is a good idea at the moment. Just to get some of this off your chest on a proffessional level. There's only so much help strangers on an internet forum can give before you start going batty!! Then maybe mention to her that he wants to see the both of you...?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,399 ✭✭✭Kashkai


    Don't suppose there are any suggestions as to where/who I could contact to talk these issues over with as she's driving me mental (which is some feat as I'm usually rock solid), bearing in mind that money is tight and I can't afford to be paying someone €100 an hour.

    Its times like this that I wish I had a sister to get the female perspective on this as I can't/won't talk this over with my mother as running to mammy was never my style and she'd probably pick up the phone and tell my wife to cop on (bit of a straight talker my mother!).


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,862 ✭✭✭RobAMerc


    Hi all,

    Just popped back to say I'm a dad now and thanks for all the advice and support I got from ye while we were knocked up!

    Our son was born on Fathers day and both him and mum are doing great.

    So take this as a reminder that its all well worth it !

    Cheers
    Rob


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Congratulations RobAMerc hope ye are all getting sleep :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 186 ✭✭lalalulu


    Hi prosperous dave.. Just a quick one re counselling... Northside counselling in coolock in dublin offer a free service. There is a waiting list but depending on how flexiable you can be on time you could get an appointment within two weeks. Not sure if you are even in dublin if your not i suppose you could ring northside counselling and they could get you in touch elsewhere. Best of luck...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 73 ✭✭Spiderman80884


    RobAMerc wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Just popped back to say I'm a dad now and thanks for all the advice and support I got from ye while we were knocked up!

    Our son was born on Fathers day and both him and mum are doing great.

    So take this as a reminder that its all well worth it !

    Cheers
    Rob

    Congrats Rob. We've 10 weeks left till due date. Started working on the nursery this last week. Have the cot, cradle, bath, pram, clothes, etc. Beginning to get real! The OH even has a bump!!! And it moves sometimes!!!!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭fifth


    Hi Everyone,

    Just saying hi, will be a Dad to a baby boy on Dec 19th (or maybe 25th who knows)!

    :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,698 ✭✭✭BrookieD


    Hi all,
    well our time is almost here, another check up yesterday, baby and mum doing very well. Loads of movment and even getting to feel a foot here and a heel there.

    Hopefully in the next few days ahead a nice pressent of a health baby will arrive. COME ON ALREADY......LOL ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    Only six weeks to go ! Woot cant wait , have started having dreams about the birth now heh heh bit mad


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭joeduggan


    hi. just wanted to say hi. im a dad to a seven month old baby girl and she is my life. best thing ever happened to me.:D:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭R0ot


    Just chiming in here, known for 2 months now, just over the 3 month period and got to hear my wee ones heart beat for the first time. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 302 ✭✭lastbuilders


    We are having our first either today or tomorrow and can't say how excited and nervous I am. Can't wait for it but very apprehensive at the same time.


    Lastbuilders


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    Hope all's going well, let us know!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Congratulations R0ot.

    Hope everything goes well lastbuilders.


  • Registered Users Posts: 302 ✭✭lastbuilders


    Junior arrived at 6:02 pm yesterday and all well. Overjoyed. Great anniversary present.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,087 ✭✭✭Clanket


    Congrats Lastbuilders.

    My OH is 3 months gone with our first. To be honest it hasn't properly set in yet. She's reading Mylene Klass's pregnancy book at the minute and says I have to read it after. Says it's full of loads of helpful info.

    I'd say it gets scarier the closer it gets


  • Registered Users Posts: 302 ✭✭lastbuilders


    Cheers all.

    Alofthedunnes, The time flies. It only seems like yesterday that we found out we were expecting. Hope all goes well for ye. Last few days was scary with questions like "Will everything go alright" and "Will he be ok" but thankfully all went fine.


    Lastbuilders


  • Registered Users Posts: 350 ✭✭fitzie79


    hi all. 1st time in this section of boards but will be back here quite often! found out that my wife is pregnant last sunday - absolutely bursting with joy since. would love to tell everyone as its killing me keeping it secret. know that it makes sense to wait but doesnt make it any easier! posting anonomously will have to do for now :)

    building a house at the moment so have used the construction section of boards a lot for the past year - will now have to check for regular updates here as well.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,087 ✭✭✭Clanket


    Good luck Fitzie. My OH is 4 months gone. First scan next Thursday. You should contact the hospital you are going to be attending asap as the delay getting in for scans is a joke. Was even on the news yeasterday it's so bad.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 350 ✭✭fitzie79


    Good luck Fitzie. My OH is 4 months gone. First scan next Thursday. You should contact the hospital you are going to be attending asap as the delay getting in for scans is a joke. Was even on the news yeasterday it's so bad.

    thanks for the advice. OH is on the ball - hospital were contacted in tuesday :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 10 scouser19


    Hi everyone.

    I'm (29) having a serious problem with my relationship with my pregnant girlfriend(25), and advice would be cool.

    We are together almost a year, and are 4 months into the pregnancy. I totally love this girl to bits, and treat so well it's unreal...i promise. It's my first child, so obviously never experienced the "dreaded hormones" before, however, i was convinced i was totally ready for them. Big mistake!!! I'm a patient guy at the best of times, trust me.

    I totally understand the changes in the body and how hard it is for girls both emotionally and physically, especially with there first child. I know i was expecting hardship off my partner, and when she got real bad sickness 3 months into her pragnancy i thought i was prepared!! Bulll****!!smile.gif

    Trust me, i gave her all the "space" she required and asked for when she was sick( and it was hard cos all i wanted to do was to try help her and care for her). But the stupid rows over nothing??!!! I'm not exagerating, but if i said something was white, she'd say it was black!!! I just can't win no matter how hard i try. You name it i've tried to get around her and appease her....waste of time, (ie, flowers, chocs ete).

    Prior to the sickness, we got approved a mortgage, and everything was fine, we were excited and planning everything, and i knew i was expecting some **** off her when she got sick, but today she finished with me and wants nothing to do with me....and i'm really not sure what to do??

    Everyone will say "give her time"....but i've not seen her in 2 weeks....and in that 2 weeks she doesn't wanna speak to me on the phone(won't answer), so the only communication is text....which is no way of communication in a realationship in my opinion, so when i say "look, whats the craic with not wanting to even talk to me the past 2 weeks", i get...litterally......."we're over...i don't wanna be with you"!!!

    I understand she is obviously taking some **** out on me, but the way she's going we ain't gonna work out and its breaking my heart cos i love her so much, but just as important is the fact that i don't wanna bring up my child in a broken family....and know half the countrys parents have split up, just like mine did when i was younger..... But whats really annoying me is the thoughts of someone else rearing my child if she gets with someone else,( her 6 yr ex is in serious contact with her by the way, and thats a raw subject with us)...ok, so i'll get to see it at weekends...but i'll miss everything else,ie..... first crawl, walk etc.

    It's not an ideal world i know... and **** doesn't work out the way ye want it, but does anyone reckon i should hang in there and wait for her to get her head outta her hole so to speak( even if she wants absolutely nothing to do with me), or push on with my own mortgage and get a roof over my head for me and my child to stay with me???

    I'm sure theres been lots of peoople in my situation........... cheers!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 73 ✭✭Spiderman80884


    My little fella was born at 7lbs last Tuesday. I swear to God you girls out there are hero's!!!! Anyway, the little lad is doing so well, he's a contented little soul who basically only cries (so far) when he needs a nappy change or needs some diesel for the tank. Seems to me to be pretty bright and very alert. He has the deepest blue eyes you could ever see and likes my singing (well maybe he's bright but tone deaf)!!!! I am the happiest man in the world!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 812 ✭✭✭hacked


    aw congratulations! so happy for you! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 506 ✭✭✭gowayouttadat


    Congrats spiderman!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Congratulations :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭foxy06


    Congats!:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 350 ✭✭fitzie79


    had scan yesterday and all went well :) due mid april - same date as my birthday!

    appointment was for 11 (it was can only for the scan) but said we'd be early and arrived at 9.30. receptionist looked at us as if we had 2 heads and told us to come back at 10.50. we arrived back on time and were out within 5 minutes. felt a bit stupid for being so early but glad that everything was ok.

    had first experience of pregnancy hormones this morning. woke up with my wife and noticed that she seemed a bit angry. asked her about it only to be told that she was angry with me because i had burned the couch with the ashes from the fire. i didn't know what she was on about but turns out that's what i had done in her dream last night :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Go easy on your partners guys. Pregnancy isnt easy. I'm very lucky in that it seems to suit me very well but carrying a baby for the best part of the year takes its toll on the strongest of women.

    Remember we can't drink, smoke, we have to say goodbye to all our normal clothes, we are worried sick about the baby, feeling self concious about our shape and thats before you get to the physical problems!!

    I've been pretty laid back ( I like to think so anyway!! ) but I know I've had moments where I've let rip. .just give her the benefit of the doubt and lots and lots of spoiling. It really does make a difference.

    Congrats to you all on your soon to be or new arrivals...its really lovely to meet some stand up dads for once.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,087 ✭✭✭Clanket


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Go easy on your partners guys. Pregnancy isnt easy. I'm very lucky in that it seems to suit me very well but carrying a baby for the best part of the year takes its toll on the strongest of women.

    Remember we can't drink, smoke, we have to say goodbye to all our normal clothes, we are worried sick about the baby, feeling self concious about our shape and thats before you get to the physical problems!!

    I've been pretty laid back ( I like to think so anyway!! ) but I know I've had moments where I've let rip. .just give her the benefit of the doubt and lots and lots of spoiling. It really does make a difference.

    Congrats to you all on your soon to be or new arrivals...its really lovely to meet some stand up dads for once.

    Some excellent advice eviltwin ;)


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