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The Fathers Thread

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  • Registered Users Posts: 407 ✭✭modmuffin


    :D

    Good evening gentlemen,

    Proud father to be, my girlfriend is due on the 28th January, just had the scan and everything is ok :)
    Really looking forward to the new arrival, time is literally flying by.

    ITs gas, like most blokes i had been avoiding all conversations about babies in work etc for the last few years, now ive even started going for lunch with some of the mums to pick some advice :D

    Quick question, whats the story with surnames on the birthcert in the case of unmarried parents. Myself and the boss are engaged but wont be married by the time junior arrives.
    Is it up to the parents or does the mothers name go on the birthcert?
    What happens then when we're married?


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    modmuffin wrote: »
    :D

    Quick question, whats the story with surnames on the birthcert in the case of unmarried parents. Myself and the boss are engaged but wont be married by the time junior arrives.
    Is it up to the parents or does the mothers name go on the birthcert?
    What happens then when we're married?


    Congrats on the pregnancy. My husband and I only got married when our daughter was 12 so I've been in this situation.

    Both names can go on the birth cert married or not..the fathers name can be left out if you want but I dont see any reason why you would want to. Theres no advantage to not being on it put it that way

    It doesnt give you any legal rights however. You still have to apply for legal guardianship of the child which is a very straightforward procedure. I never made my then boyfriend legal guardian which was a really really stupid thing to do, it left him wide open to have his rights abused so you should look into it.

    If you get married you dont have to adopt your child ( commen misconception ). If you havent already been granted legal guardianship then marriage automatically grants you those rights.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭fifth


    Ours is due 19th dec..but we've a sneaking suspiscion that he will be here in about two weeks or so.. he's causing a ruckus in there and OH feels like he's really pushing down now.

    Worrying and exciting too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 407 ✭✭modmuffin


    funkyflea wrote: »
    Ours is due 19th dec..but we've a sneaking suspiscion that he will be here in about two weeks or so.. he's causing a ruckus in there and OH feels like he's really pushing down now.

    Worrying and exciting too.

    Exciting times! Good luck

    Ours isnt due until 28th January and we cant wait!


  • Registered Users Posts: 242 ✭✭MotteDai


    Hey All Congradulations

    We're due our 3rd (and last) in early April. Mom finding it hard on this last run out. And Im trying to give as much support as possible, it is very difficult when you dont know how to help..

    Still been here before and I think all we can do is spoil


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭sos33


    became a dad 3 weeks ago to a beautifull baby boy,gettin used to the change in our lives but woulnt swap him for anything in the world,best thing that happened to me and my (taking to motherhood like a duck to water)wife ,best of luck to all,its worth it in the end believe me:D:D:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    I was just visiting the hibernian vvivas site and found a link to this one (vivas will pay a 15% discount!!!) but what a legend you would be for christmas if you produced a voucher for this..
    http://www.umamma.ie/index.asp
    i know if i got it my husband would be in brownie points til well into january:D maybe even feb...!!! lol


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭Melion


    So Caoimhe was 4 months old yesterday, its true what they say, the time really does fly. Just a quick one lads and i know it sounds really obvious but keep an eye on your OH after the baby is born. My GF has had bouts of depression since she had Caoimhe, they will just come out of nowhere unfortunately. Just last week, she was crying on the couch saying that the baby didnt feel like she was hers, this after 4 months!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 242 ✭✭MotteDai


    Melion wrote: »
    So Caoimhe was 4 months old yesterday, its true what they say, the time really does fly. Just a quick one lads and i know it sounds really obvious but keep an eye on your OH after the baby is born. My GF has had bouts of depression since she had Caoimhe, they will just come out of nowhere unfortunately. Just last week, she was crying on the couch saying that the baby didnt feel like she was hers, this after 4 months!!

    Hi we're after 2 and yes it took a year for my OH to come back to herself, it fairly shakes them and unfortunatly Depression 'the blues' do occur. It can be fustrating as it may be hard dealing with lack of sleep etc.. take care of them they do come around. get out yourself and have a few pints form time to time. i often thanked god for being a man, it wasnt until i saw post baby blues did I truly mean it.. but rem be patient and loving its a hormonal thing we may never understand.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭foxy06


    funkyflea wrote: »
    Ours is due 19th dec..but we've a sneaking suspiscion that he will be here in about two weeks or so.. he's causing a ruckus in there and OH feels like he's really pushing down now.

    Worrying and exciting too.

    I felt like baby was going to arrive very early this time but he was 6 days late. Don't drive yourself mad when you expect baby to be early because they really do have a mind of their own. This was my 3rd and I was sure I knew what was going to happen because I was an 'expert'.....no such thing apparently when it comes to children!!!!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10 scouser19


    Hi lads.

    My question is regards Antenatal Classes. I've my first baby on the way, however, myself and my girlfriend have spilt up. We had intended to go together to a class, but that now isn't an option even though we are on speaking terms now. Theres no issue with access etc thank god and i will be seeing my child, and she requested i do one of these classes.

    I always intended doing one ( with herself), but is there a male only class for single expecting dads, or is there a problem with a dad to be going to a regular class by himself ( apart from looking out of place, lol)???....


  • Registered Users Posts: 407 ✭✭modmuffin


    scouser19 wrote: »
    Hi lads.

    My question is regards Antenatal Classes. I've my first baby on the way, however, myself and my girlfriend have spilt up. We had intended to go together to a class, but that now isn't an option even though we are on speaking terms now. Theres no issue with access etc thank god and i will be seeing my child, and she requested i do one of these classes.

    I always intended doing one ( with herself), but is there a male only class for single expecting dads, or is there a problem with a dad to be going to a regular class by himself ( apart from looking out of place, lol)???....

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear yourself and the missus have split up.

    We did a 1 day antenatal class with Doreen Buckley http://www.antenatal-classes.ie at the weekend and found her to be great. VEry relaxed and informative.

    Give her a call and explain the situation, shes very accomodating. Im sure shes seen everything before!

    Best of luck


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭the corpo


    just back from the hospital with a beautiful baby girl in tow. when they say everything changes, boy they weren't lying.

    overall had a great experience with the hospital, (especially post delivery, the help we got was astonishing) but the main thing i learned that i want to pass on to any other expectant fathers is 'stand your ground'.

    our labour was, as far as the midwives were concerned, progressing very slowly, and they wanted me to leave at around 11pm, to come back in the next morning. our instincts told us otherwise, and the suggestion that i leave was enough to distress my wife even further (contractions were two minutes apart at this stage). the midwives said it was policy i leave and were insisting, but i steadfastly refused, to the point where security would have had to drag me out. they backed down, but continued to give out to me for staying. at 1am, they checked my wife and said there was definitely nothing happening til the morning. my wife insisted on being checked again at 2am, the midwife went 'oh...' and we were rushed to the delivery suite, where our daughter was born shortly afterwards.
    if i'd let the midwives send me home, i'd have missed the birth. so, if your instinct is conflicting with the advice you're getting, i'd absolutely advise you put your foot down and do what you think is right. pissing off hospital admin sat with me a whole lot easier than the idea of my wife going through labour on her own!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Congratulations the corpo.


  • Registered Users Posts: 242 ✭✭MotteDai


    the corpo wrote: »
    just back from the hospital with a beautiful baby girl in tow. when they say everything changes, boy they weren't lying.

    overall had a great experience with the hospital, (especially post delivery, the help we got was astonishing) but the main thing i learned that i want to pass on to any other expectant fathers is 'stand your ground'.

    our labour was, as far as the midwives were concerned, progressing very slowly, and they wanted me to leave at around 11pm, to come back in the next morning. our instincts told us otherwise, and the suggestion that i leave was enough to distress my wife even further (contractions were two minutes apart at this stage). the midwives said it was policy i leave and were insisting, but i steadfastly refused, to the point where security would have had to drag me out. they backed down, but continued to give out to me for staying. at 1am, they checked my wife and said there was definitely nothing happening til the morning. my wife insisted on being checked again at 2am, the midwife went 'oh...' and we were rushed to the delivery suite, where our daughter was born shortly afterwards.
    if i'd let the midwives send me home, i'd have missed the birth. so, if your instinct is conflicting with the advice you're getting, i'd absolutely advise you put your foot down and do what you think is right. pissing off hospital admin sat with me a whole lot easier than the idea of my wife going through labour on her own!

    Fair Play man, was this a Dublin Hospital? I havent been asked to leave (I have 2 kids now), I slept in the bed beside my missus one night where she went into labour but then stopped!
    Im suprised at them, its not on fair play to you for standing your ground.. at the end of it all, all be can do is be there with them and support them... fair play.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭the corpo


    it was the rotunda.

    they said if my wife had been in established labour (3cm or more dilated) then i could stay, but as they believed she was still in early labour it was hospital policy that i leave. we both knew that there was no way this was still early labour. as i said the contractions were less than 2 minutes apart, extremely intense and lasting a minute each, she was pretty much going into shock after each one, yet as she wasn't dilated enough she was told, "oh, these aren't the real contractions, you'll know when the proper ones come in, my darling".

    my wife *hated* being called 'my darling' at that point, they were terribly patronising.

    eventually, the wife made me run and get them back in, and they begrudgingly deigned to examine again, though didn't want to as they'd done so over an hour previously. we insisted, they did, their jaws dropped and bam off we went.

    i have to add, we dealt with maybe a dozen midwives over the 3 days we were there, and bar these two in the early labour ward, the rest were extraordinary, especially the guy who delivered the baby. we flew into the delivery suite, panicked that something was terribly wrong, and he had us calmed down and excited and concentrating on the job in hand in seconds.

    oh yeah, as we were tearing off to the delivery suite, the ward sister grabbed me back to collect our bags, "you won't be coming back here" and i had no idea where to find my wife and her delivery suite...

    still, all worked out well in the end 8)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭J2D2


    the corpo wrote: »
    it was the rotunda.

    they said if my wife had been in established labour (3cm or more dilated) then i could stay, but as they believed she was still in early labour it was hospital policy that i leave. we both knew that there was no way this was still early labour. as i said the contractions were less than 2 minutes apart, extremely intense and lasting a minute each, she was pretty much going into shock after each one, yet as she wasn't dilated enough she was told, "oh, these aren't the real contractions, you'll know when the proper ones come in, my darling".

    my wife *hated* being called 'my darling' at that point, they were terribly patronising.

    eventually, the wife made me run and get them back in, and they begrudgingly deigned to examine again, though didn't want to as they'd done so over an hour previously. we insisted, they did, their jaws dropped and bam off we went.

    We had a bizarrely similar experience down in the CUH, OH went into labour and had contractions a few minutes apart and she was in agony, so we shot off to the hospital, somehow managed to get her up into the waiting room and were eventually seen.

    Like yourself, she was told that she wasn't nearly dilated enough and would have to go home. Personally I wanted to tell the nurse to go feck herself as there was no chance I was taking her anywhere. So anyway the nurse came back about 15 minutes later and her jaw also dropped, rushed down to the labour ward and the baby was born about 2 hours later. God knows what would have happened if we had tried to go home!

    Luckily it all went well but I just have to wonder how they can consider sending women home when they're experiencing serious contractions every 2-3 minutes and are in agony the whole time. :confused:


  • Registered Users Posts: 410 ✭✭johnc24


    another daddy to be lurking around here also.

    That may be no surprise given my username.

    Found out about 2 weeks ago my wife is pregnant with our first.
    She will be 5 weeks on Sunday.

    I am naturally happy out but like most of you guys as it gets closer to crunch time I will be getting very nervous, you know in terms of assisting my wife and making correct decisions on when to to the hospital. Case in point I must familiarize myself with the routing! We are booked into the NHS Holles Street.

    Nice to see a thread for us new dads, will periodically post a few updates maybe.

    John


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭fifth


    Our baby boy Jack was born today at 4.48pm , 7 pounds 6 ounces, what a great day!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 ✭✭✭✭January


    funkyflea wrote: »
    Our baby boy Jack was born today at 4.48pm , 7 pounds 6 ounces, what a great day!

    Congratulations!!! Presume ye were kicked outta the hospital at around 9pm lol??


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  • Registered Users Posts: 812 ✭✭✭hacked


    Congrats!! That's a good weight too, although I am biased. :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭fifth


    Congratulations!!! Presume ye were kicked outta the hospital at around 9pm lol??

    Haha, yeah. But I was wrecked and fit for the bed..like mammy.. Spent all day with them today, he's such a good boy.. going back up in an hour can't wait!


  • Registered Users Posts: 506 ✭✭✭gowayouttadat


    J2D2 wrote: »
    We had a bizarrely similar experience down in the CUH, OH went into labour and had contractions a few minutes apart and she was in agony, so we shot off to the hospital, somehow managed to get her up into the waiting room and were eventually seen.

    Like yourself, she was told that she wasn't nearly dilated enough and would have to go home. Personally I wanted to tell the nurse to go feck herself as there was no chance I was taking her anywhere. So anyway the nurse came back about 15 minutes later and her jaw also dropped, rushed down to the labour ward and the baby was born about 2 hours later. God knows what would have happened if we had tried to go home!

    Luckily it all went well but I just have to wonder how they can consider sending women home when they're experiencing serious contractions every 2-3 minutes and are in agony the whole time. :confused:

    Something similar happened us in CUMH but my OH wasn't told to go home. I was induced the day before and the midwife put me on the drip. I told my bf that things were flying along and I knew I was after going really, really quickly. I had to beg the midwife to examine me. She told me there was no way I could be anyway far along because they'd only just put up the drip. The jaw dropping happened too, rushed to the delivery room and given the epidural. They were in such a rush that they never checked me before the epidural and gave it to me at 10cms!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Congratulations funkyflea :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭ir666


    Hi Lads,

    The OH is due in early March.:)

    Panic has not set in yet!:eek:

    Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.:confused:

    I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    ir666 wrote: »
    Hi Lads,

    The OH is due in early March.:)

    Panic has not set in yet!:eek:

    Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.:confused:

    I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.

    Congrats and try not to worry about the lack of sleep

    My little one is just three weeks and already sleeping through the night...best thing you can do? Get a good routine going from day 1 and STICK TO IT!!!

    Hubby thought I was being a bit of a nazi with my insistance on it but two weeks and a full nights sleep in he had to agree it was the way to go :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 812 ✭✭✭hacked


    ir666 wrote: »
    Hi Lads,

    The OH is due in early March.:)

    Panic has not set in yet!:eek:

    Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.:confused:

    I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.

    Yup I agree with evil twin. Don't spoil the kid (ie. constant mommy attention for everything little thing) and get a good routine going. It really all depends on the kid. I have a lot of much younger siblings...some of them cried a lot, some were angels from the get go (although that does change when they hit 12/13!!!). I'm due early march as well...good to luck to you!


  • Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭donglen


    ir666 wrote: »
    Hi Lads,

    The OH is due in early March.:)

    Panic has not set in yet!:eek:

    Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.:confused:

    I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.

    I love the optimism, 3 months!! Our little fella is just over 14 months and is what I'd consider in a great routine and is an easy-going placid child. However, this does not mean that we have sweet dreams on a nightly basis. Yes the first 3 to 4 months are the toughest but your sleep patterns will definitely change for good, they'll have to. No more 8 hours a night with a lie in on a Sat/Sun. Also, every decision you make will now have to include the new arrival so there's going to be a lot of things you're going to have to miss out on, sleep being one of them. You do begin to wonder what you did with your time before they came along.

    Having said all that, you learn to cope and nap when you can and every sleepless night is worth it as they snuggle up to you and you realise that they're totally dependent on you to look after them and reduce tough guys like me to writing soppy e-mails like this.
    Number 2 on the way mid-March, roll on more sleepless nights, can't wait (genuine excitement here, not sarcasm).


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Actually Donglen is probably right...you never really sleep quite the same again once you have kids

    My first is twelve and I have more sleepless nights with her now than I ever did when she was a baby :D

    Still you wouldnt change them for anything..it still amazes me to this day that I've been able to raise a fine young adult..its a real head scratcher sometimes but made every interruped sleep worth while. I'm so excited I've got a new one to go through the whole crazy journey with again :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 186 ✭✭lalalulu


    I'm not sure it's possible to spoil a new baby no matter how much mammy and daddy cuddle babs. I had my dd in my arm's constantly for the first six weeks she would fall asleep on my shoulder i loved it as much as she did. Now she's 14 months and im lucky if i get a hug but she has started to give kisses! She's constantly on the go, she's no time for sitting on my knee. So i think give your little one as many cuddles and kisses as possible before we know it they'll be teenagers :eek: Also don't worry so much about a routine there's months and months to get into a routine just enjoy babs as a tiny baby rather than getting worked up about timetables and sleeping habits.. Best of luck :)


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