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The Fathers Thread
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Good evening gentlemen,
Proud father to be, my girlfriend is due on the 28th January, just had the scan and everything is ok
Really looking forward to the new arrival, time is literally flying by.
ITs gas, like most blokes i had been avoiding all conversations about babies in work etc for the last few years, now ive even started going for lunch with some of the mums to pick some advice
Quick question, whats the story with surnames on the birthcert in the case of unmarried parents. Myself and the boss are engaged but wont be married by the time junior arrives.
Is it up to the parents or does the mothers name go on the birthcert?
What happens then when we're married?0 -
Quick question, whats the story with surnames on the birthcert in the case of unmarried parents. Myself and the boss are engaged but wont be married by the time junior arrives.
Is it up to the parents or does the mothers name go on the birthcert?
What happens then when we're married?
Congrats on the pregnancy. My husband and I only got married when our daughter was 12 so I've been in this situation.
Both names can go on the birth cert married or not..the fathers name can be left out if you want but I dont see any reason why you would want to. Theres no advantage to not being on it put it that way
It doesnt give you any legal rights however. You still have to apply for legal guardianship of the child which is a very straightforward procedure. I never made my then boyfriend legal guardian which was a really really stupid thing to do, it left him wide open to have his rights abused so you should look into it.
If you get married you dont have to adopt your child ( commen misconception ). If you havent already been granted legal guardianship then marriage automatically grants you those rights.0 -
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it was the rotunda.
they said if my wife had been in established labour (3cm or more dilated) then i could stay, but as they believed she was still in early labour it was hospital policy that i leave. we both knew that there was no way this was still early labour. as i said the contractions were less than 2 minutes apart, extremely intense and lasting a minute each, she was pretty much going into shock after each one, yet as she wasn't dilated enough she was told, "oh, these aren't the real contractions, you'll know when the proper ones come in, my darling".
my wife *hated* being called 'my darling' at that point, they were terribly patronising.
eventually, the wife made me run and get them back in, and they begrudgingly deigned to examine again, though didn't want to as they'd done so over an hour previously. we insisted, they did, their jaws dropped and bam off we went.
We had a bizarrely similar experience down in the CUH, OH went into labour and had contractions a few minutes apart and she was in agony, so we shot off to the hospital, somehow managed to get her up into the waiting room and were eventually seen.
Like yourself, she was told that she wasn't nearly dilated enough and would have to go home. Personally I wanted to tell the nurse to go feck herself as there was no chance I was taking her anywhere. So anyway the nurse came back about 15 minutes later and her jaw also dropped, rushed down to the labour ward and the baby was born about 2 hours later. God knows what would have happened if we had tried to go home!
Luckily it all went well but I just have to wonder how they can consider sending women home when they're experiencing serious contractions every 2-3 minutes and are in agony the whole time.
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We had a bizarrely similar experience down in the CUH, OH went into labour and had contractions a few minutes apart and she was in agony, so we shot off to the hospital, somehow managed to get her up into the waiting room and were eventually seen.
Like yourself, she was told that she wasn't nearly dilated enough and would have to go home. Personally I wanted to tell the nurse to go feck herself as there was no chance I was taking her anywhere. So anyway the nurse came back about 15 minutes later and her jaw also dropped, rushed down to the labour ward and the baby was born about 2 hours later. God knows what would have happened if we had tried to go home!
Luckily it all went well but I just have to wonder how they can consider sending women home when they're experiencing serious contractions every 2-3 minutes and are in agony the whole time.
Something similar happened us in CUMH but my OH wasn't told to go home. I was induced the day before and the midwife put me on the drip. I told my bf that things were flying along and I knew I was after going really, really quickly. I had to beg the midwife to examine me. She told me there was no way I could be anyway far along because they'd only just put up the drip. The jaw dropping happened too, rushed to the delivery room and given the epidural. They were in such a rush that they never checked me before the epidural and gave it to me at 10cms!0 -
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Hi Lads,
The OH is due in early March.:)
Panic has not set in yet!:eek:
Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.
I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.0 -
Hi Lads,
The OH is due in early March.:)
Panic has not set in yet!:eek:
Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.
I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.
Congrats and try not to worry about the lack of sleep
My little one is just three weeks and already sleeping through the night...best thing you can do? Get a good routine going from day 1 and STICK TO IT!!!
Hubby thought I was being a bit of a nazi with my insistance on it but two weeks and a full nights sleep in he had to agree it was the way to go 0 -
Hi Lads,
The OH is due in early March.:)
Panic has not set in yet!:eek:
Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.
I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.
Yup I agree with evil twin. Don't spoil the kid (ie. constant mommy attention for everything little thing) and get a good routine going. It really all depends on the kid. I have a lot of much younger siblings...some of them cried a lot, some were angels from the get go (although that does change when they hit 12/13!!!). I'm due early march as well...good to luck to you!0 -
Hi Lads,
The OH is due in early March.:)
Panic has not set in yet!:eek:
Although I am concerned about how time/sleep consuming the little fella is going to be.
I was told by those in the know that my life will be in (~happy) chaos for the first 3 months.
I love the optimism, 3 months!! Our little fella is just over 14 months and is what I'd consider in a great routine and is an easy-going placid child. However, this does not mean that we have sweet dreams on a nightly basis. Yes the first 3 to 4 months are the toughest but your sleep patterns will definitely change for good, they'll have to. No more 8 hours a night with a lie in on a Sat/Sun. Also, every decision you make will now have to include the new arrival so there's going to be a lot of things you're going to have to miss out on, sleep being one of them. You do begin to wonder what you did with your time before they came along.
Having said all that, you learn to cope and nap when you can and every sleepless night is worth it as they snuggle up to you and you realise that they're totally dependent on you to look after them and reduce tough guys like me to writing soppy e-mails like this.
Number 2 on the way mid-March, roll on more sleepless nights, can't wait (genuine excitement here, not sarcasm).0 -
Actually Donglen is probably right...you never really sleep quite the same again once you have kids
My first is twelve and I have more sleepless nights with her now than I ever did when she was a baby
Still you wouldnt change them for anything..it still amazes me to this day that I've been able to raise a fine young adult..its a real head scratcher sometimes but made every interruped sleep worth while. I'm so excited I've got a new one to go through the whole crazy journey with again 0 -
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I'm not sure it's possible to spoil a new baby no matter how much mammy and daddy cuddle babs. I had my dd in my arm's constantly for the first six weeks she would fall asleep on my shoulder i loved it as much as she did. Now she's 14 months and im lucky if i get a hug but she has started to give kisses! She's constantly on the go, she's no time for sitting on my knee. So i think give your little one as many cuddles and kisses as possible before we know it they'll be teenagers :eek: Also don't worry so much about a routine there's months and months to get into a routine just enjoy babs as a tiny baby rather than getting worked up about timetables and sleeping habits.. Best of luck 0
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