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The Fathers Thread

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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭ Melion


    Had first scheduled hospital visit today. First scan down and all is good and healthy, seen the heart beating which was good.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,676 ✭✭✭ BrookieD


    Hi All
    Darren here, one 6 year old boy and the wife is now 11 weeks on second. With the first i was scared sh****ss but all worked out and we have a great boy with very good manners (very important).
    Looking forward to the next so will be popping back for a read of the threads here.

    My tip:-
    take each day as it comes and enjoy it. i dont know where the last six years went but it went very quickly


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,816 ✭✭✭ RobAMerc


    hi all, does anybody know of a good book thats either specifically for dads to be or has a good section for us ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,143 ✭✭✭✭ Nevyn


    http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386/ref=pd_cp_b_2?pf_rd_p=413864201&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201

    The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second Edition
    51N7MQ4GZTL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.jpg

    Product Details

    * Paperback: 271 pages
    * Publisher: Abbeville Press; 2 edition (May 2001)
    * Language: English
    * ISBN-10: 0789205386
    * ISBN-13: 978-0789205384
    In an expanded and updated version of Brott's 1995 book, the authors once again present a month-by-month guide to pregnancy for the father-to-be. Illustrated throughout with humorous cartoons, the book divides each month of pregnancy into four astute categories: "What She's Going Through" (physical and emotion changes), "What's Going On with the Baby" (physical progress), "What You're Going Through" (physical and emotional changes) and "Staying Involved" (tips on supporting and encouraging the pregnant partner). Since most child-rearing books for men focus primarily on the emotional challenges, it's both refreshing and helpful that these authors include practical advice: recipes, detailed insights into the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 and realistic appraisals of the often very high costs of baby furnishings. Most valuable are the sections on the aspects of birth that make many men squeamish (episiotomies, epidurals and cesarean sections) as well as the post-delivery traumas that they tend to avoid facing (finding childcare, dealing with late-night wake-ups, dressing young children and sex after pregnancy). This is an essential book for all expectant fathers



    http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-Youre-Expecting-Revised/dp/089480829X

    What to Expect When You're Expecting
    71DW05HJM1L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.gif

    Product Details

    * Paperback: 454 pages
    * Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; Revised edition (November 1996)
    * Language: English
    * ISBN-10: 089480829X
    * ISBN-13: 978-0894808296

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1844250598?tag=gettingpregna-21&camp=1406&creative=6394

    The Haynes Baby Manual: Conception to Two Years
    5177QYW1MPL._SL500_AA240_.jpg
    Product Description
    Taking delivery of a new baby is even more exciting than taking delivery of a new car (at least for most people). It can also be more worrying - after all, if you decide you've made a mistake you can't send the baby back to the factory or trade it in for another one. Conception, pregnancy and birth can nowaddays be associated with some very high-tech equipment, but underneath the monitors and scanner screens the basic process is the same as it ever was (just as the internal combustion engine itself has not changed, despite being surrounded by electronic sensors and control units). This manual gives you what you would expect from Haynes: down-to-earth, step-by-step instructions, written by professionals from practical experience. The manual should help you to: decide when and how to start; keep your cool in the delivery room; maintain baby's bodywork in optimum condition; prevent corrosion of vital parts; understand the on-board diagnostic system; and decide when to call in professional assistance.

    Product details

    * Hardcover: 160 pages
    * Publisher: J H Haynes & Co Ltd (4 Jun 2003)
    * Language English
    * ISBN-10: 1844250598
    * ISBN-13: 978-1844250592


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,816 ✭✭✭ RobAMerc


    thanks a lot.
    I bought the first one on amazon for 1 p !

    I'l get back with a review


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭ HJ Simpson


    Hi Folks thanks for the responses above have been away for a few days. Yeah I am keen to go to the first appointment. I thought it was just blood test but when she finally got to talk to someone in the hospital it will be a scan aswell!
    We got the appointment moved to the 28/01 so fingers crossed all goes well. We told a few more people and are getting really excited.
    HJS


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭✭ elqu


    HJ Simpson wrote: »
    As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!

    Go go go - I didn't have my hubby with me for our first scan and there were issues with the baby and it was so hard to be there alone. :(

    everything worked out ok in the end (4w & one amniocentesis later :eek: ) but I will never sail into a scan appt so gaily or alone again!


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    most definitely go, nothing beats seeing junior bouncing around the place. I tell ya, it gets very dusty in the room when you see that


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭ HJ Simpson


    Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

    HJS


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    HJ Simpson wrote: »
    Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

    HJS


    Brilliant, you can make little outfits for them and race them :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,003 ✭✭✭ iggy


    RobAMerc wrote: »
    thanks a lot.
    I bought the first one on amazon for 1 p !

    I'l get back with a review

    how you get it for 1p...its showing up $9.56 for me..
    think i need to buy a book fairly soon as mrs iggy due 1/5/09


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,484 Quackles


    HJ Simpson wrote: »
    Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

    HJS

    Oooh, congratulations! Did you not go into complete and total shock? I think I'd have died if they'd told me I was having twins :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 January


    HJ Simpson wrote: »
    Thanks for the advice to go. We had the scan last night everything is fine. Oh but we got a bit of a surprise turns out we are having twins! God I cant believe it there are no twins in either family. We are over the moon.

    HJS

    Congratulations!!

    I was 38 weeks pregnant and was booking in for a scan, the woman handed me my chart and said "the twin clinic is down the corridor to the right", I nearly dropped to the floor... thank god it wasn't twins!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,892 ✭✭✭ embee


    Congrats on your doubly good news, HJ!!!

    Do they know yet if they're identical or non-identical? Wow twins... I'd love twins some day!


    Just on the books to read.... I have What to Expect when You're Expecting in my drawer. When I was pregnant I read it cover to cover. It was informative, but jesus, try not to read too much of it, particularly the parts about when things go wrong, the special needs baby.

    I remember crying after reading a bit of it where they said anencephaly was "incompatible with life". I had nightmares for weeks about having a baby with no head... stupid I know, but sometimes, too much information is bad if it scares the crap out of you!

    Their follow up book, What to Expect The First Year, was way better. Loads of practical tips about everything from weaning, to a very useful first aid section etc.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,221 Mod ✭✭✭✭ The_Conductor


    Congrats HJ- you must be on cloud 9!

    They probably told you at the hospital- the HSE are trying to recruit prospective parents of twins for a national survey- might be something you might be interested in?

    S.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    embee wrote: »
    Congrats on your doubly good news, HJ!!!

    Do they know yet if they're identical or non-identical? Wow twins... I'd love twins some day!


    Just on the books to read.... I have What to Expect when You're Expecting in my drawer. When I was pregnant I read it cover to cover. It was informative, but jesus, try not to read too much of it, particularly the parts about when things go wrong, the special needs baby.

    I remember crying after reading a bit of it where they said anencephaly was "incompatible with life". I had nightmares for weeks about having a baby with no head... stupid I know, but sometimes, too much information is bad if it scares the crap out of you!

    Their follow up book, What to Expect The First Year, was way better. Loads of practical tips about everything from weaning, to a very useful first aid section etc.


    We found out in about week 5, and as most first timers do, went out and brought a shed load of books. Read them all and then banned all baby books as they scared seven shades of sh!te out of us. It wasn't until week 14 or so that we could open one again


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,386 ✭✭✭ EKRIUQ


    My self and the dear wife just had a positive to result on the Clear Blue test this morning about 4am:)

    After 3 1/2 years and wondering why it wasn't happening we decided to get a little bit of help and on our first attempt of IUI we seem to hit the jackpot, still sinking in. I've only ever looked at the "Trying to Conceive" forum before, but now I'm after upgrading to the Pregnant forum!.

    Next thing now a scan on the 16th of Feb


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,484 Quackles


    EKRIUQ wrote: »
    My self and the dear wife just had a positive to result on the Clear Blue test this morning about 4am:)

    After 3 1/2 years and wondering why it wasn't happening we decided to get a little bit of help and on our first attempt of IUI we seem to hit the jackpot, still sinking in. I've only ever looked at the "Trying to Conceive" forum before, but now I'm after upgrading to the Pregnant forum!.

    Next thing now a scan on the 16th of Feb

    Congratulations, fantastic news! The scan is such an amazing moment, enjoy it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭ HJ Simpson


    Thanks everyone we are absolutely delighted(might still be shock). Anyway it was just a regular scan when he showed us the head then he moved the ultrasound and another baby came into view! Yeah quite a shock. We have another scan in the next two weeks just to see if they are idenctical. Hopefully everything goes ok. Now I am going to have to get some sleep in I cant imaging I will be getting much for the next few years :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 385 ✭✭ DanGlee


    Question:

    This may or may not be a stupid question, but its something thats been bugging me for a little while...

    The missus is 7 months preggers now and although she is taking her easy, she's still very active. But whats worrying me a little bit is when she sits down on the couch, she doesn't place herself down slowly, she just slams her arse down as she always did.

    I know the baby is in its protective fluid, but I always worry when she does it... I told her about it and she just said "ah shutup, the baby is fine" but we never had one, this is our first so how does she know what damage she is doing?

    Maybe I'm just being a little paranoid, but there is no talking to her, she just gets tick when I tell her she shouldn't be doing x, y and z...

    Please tell me it all be OK!

    Thanks,
    Paranoid dad (to be)
    DG.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    DanGlee wrote: »
    Question:

    This may or may not be a stupid question, but its something thats been bugging me for a little while...

    The missus is 7 months preggers now and although she is taking her easy, she's still very active. But whats worrying me a little bit is when she sits down on the couch, she doesn't place herself down slowly, she just slams her arse down as she always did.

    I know the baby is in its protective fluid, but I always worry when she does it... I told her about it and she just said "ah shutup, the baby is fine" but we never had one, this is our first so how does she know what damage she is doing?

    Maybe I'm just being a little paranoid, but there is no talking to her, she just gets tick when I tell her she shouldn't be doing x, y and z...

    Please tell me it all be OK!

    Thanks,
    Paranoid dad (to be)
    DG.

    I'd be more worried when you get amourous with your missus, nothing a bit of fencing practice for your un-born.
    Just kidding (that is physiologically impossible), it's safe to say there is a LOT of padding between your baby and the couch. A liquid cannot compress therefore it is impossible to bump the child with a knock like that which comes from below. Junior just gets a bit of sloshing around and thinks it's a bit of a laugh


  • Registered Users Posts: 385 ✭✭ DanGlee


    duploelabs wrote: »
    I'd be more worried when you get amourous with your missus, nothing a bit of fencing practice for your un-born.
    Just kidding (that is physiologically impossible), it's safe to say there is a LOT of padding between your baby and the couch. A liquid cannot compress therefore it is impossible to bump the child with a knock like that which comes from below. Junior just gets a bit of sloshing around and thinks it's a bit of a laugh

    Thanks for that... I feel a little better. (A little more reassured I should say!)

    I hate telling her not to do things, cos I know she's frustrated that there are a load of things she can't be doing (drink is one of them :) ) and all the foods she can't eat, as she loves Goats Cheese...

    I'm really glad to be a man sometimes...

    Thanks again for the quick response.

    DG.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    Goat's cheese is ok mate as long as it's cooked and any aspect of bacteria is killed off.
    That goes for all unpaturised cheese, as long as it goes above 40 C it's a goer.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,161 Kimono-Girl


    can i just ask the dads to be here a question?

    im just wondering, my partner seems to be more interested in the baby than i am, im just trying to do normal day to day things as much as possible but he's forever worrying about diet/ what im lifting/ what i feel (e.g. if i get a headache he's googling all possible reasons as to why) how big the bump is getting?...and im only 4 months in!

    did you get alll protective like this too?

    dont get me wrong im delighted he's paying so much attention and that he's so caring and showing so much interest im just wondering do all guys get so excited?


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,122 ✭✭✭ duploelabs


    can i just ask the dads to be here a question?

    im just wondering, my partner seems to be more interested in the baby than i am, im just trying to do normal day to day things as much as possible but he's forever worrying about diet/ what im lifting/ what i feel (e.g. if i get a headache he's googling all possible reasons as to why) how big the bump is getting?...and im only 4 months in!

    did you get alll protective like this too?

    dont get me wrong im delighted he's paying so much attention and that he's so caring and showing so much interest im just wondering do all guys get so excited?
    It's completely subjective as, we men, hardly talk to each other regarding our true feelings. Sure we could talk all day about who's going to suit the Chelsea manager's role, why Paddy Wallace's best suited at 12 rather than out half, or why Megan Fox would but far higher in 'the list' than Angelina, but when it comes to a subject where, in truth we're all a bit '5 year old going into a darken room'-type scared, we completely clam up.
    I have about 7 or 8 mates who's partners are expecting (bit of a boom) and to be honest, I really haven't a clue what they're feeling. All my male friends whom have had children before all seem to get the generic misty eyed look on their faces and mutter, with an almost pre-rehearsed patter, "ah man, it's a life changing experience" whereas most of my first-time brethren, when asked how they feel about the pregnancy or how they're coping with it, misconstrude the question as a social prod to get the drinks in.

    In answer to your question, personally I'd be more in the field of 'everything in moderation' camp. Sure have a glass of wine, Goats cheese? make sure it's cooked though, and if we're at a party and someone lit up a cigarette, a quiet word would be whispered in the ear.
    I can't wait till Junior makes an appearance (in about 4-6 weeks) and would take as much interest in development of the baby as my partner. Although I find they majority of pregnancy literature out there really badly written and condescending.
    In short, I guess I can only answer for myself; I am more excited about this than anything in the world but am tempering it all to try and remain solid for herself.

    Does that make any sense?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭ Melion


    Just felt the baby kicking for the first time(she's felt it for the last few days). Amazing :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,078 ✭✭✭✭ LordSutch


    Me too > or at least my other half felt the first kicks only a week or ten days ago (eighteen/nineteen weeks).

    We have our first scan tomorrow (Wed) morning 8am Hollis Street :))


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭ J2D2


    My OH has started to feel little movements and kicks :D Should only be a few days or weeks till I can feel it too :) can't wait, plus it's not long till junior will be able to hear us :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭ HJ Simpson


    Yeah my wife felt the twins kick for the first time yesterday 20 weeks! She put my hand on her belly to feel it too and I felt a slight movement. Its amazing!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 Trev M


    Hi all,

    First time dad to be here:D, been lurking around for a few weeks since we got the news, great thread here I can relate to a lot of things said here.

    My wife is 13 weeks in now and we've started to tell people - its still feels strange to be talking about it :rolleyes:

    I do feel its a relief to know the first trimester is behind us now....I know its still early days and Im constantly walkin round touching wood and constantly saying things like "please God everything works out" etc....suppose most people are like that?

    Im still in the "is this real stage" of proceedings..Its all very momentus for me I guess.

    The thought of becoming a dad for the first time is exhilirating and exciting.. mixed with the odd moment of what can only be described as absolute sheer terror:eek: ... Ive no doubt my wife and I will do our utmost to be good parents but ya still wonder if ya have what it takes to do the job well. There's also a feeling of being vulnerable now , ya know like its not just me depending on me...if I make a balls of things its ballsed up for everyone.

    Ive started reading "Call Me Dad" my wife picked it up for me, it should be called "So your husband is a moron" :D:Dheheh.... its written in this kinda re assuring way...ya know for us morons;)

    The more I read the more I realize I am completely out of my depth as far as parenting goes havent the first clue about anything and am in fact a moron...Its gonna be a steep curve the next 6 months.... I mean is 6 months gonna be enough time to take on board all this information and get adjusted?

    eh so that about it , this feels like a therapy session of sorts.

    Good luck to the rest of ye...touch wood ....please god an all that:D

    Trev


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