One-Liner Jokes

Two old Communists relaxing at a nudist resort;

"Comrade, have you read Marx?"

"Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs"

...

My mechanic says he can tighten nuts & bolts while hes sitting on them . . . I reckon he's talking out of his arse.

Caught my son playing with an electrical socket, had to ground him.

What's pink and rusty - Madeline mc Canns bike

I noticed an old woman must have been in her 80s struggling at an ATM, as I was walking pass she softly spoke asking me "can you help me please", I said "sure thing love what's the problem" she was explaining she was having difficulty checking her balance,

being the kind soul I am i pushed her over, - She needs to work more on her balance

My housemate pranked me with a dead pheasant under my bed, does he think this is some kind of game?

My mate said I wasn’t a true Cockney.

So I pushed him down the apples and oranges...

I just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock.

It’s not the best job in the world, but it gets me out of the house.

A man just shouted at me until I answered his questionnaire on Christianity.

He scared the b) Jesus out of me!!