Two old Communists relaxing at a nudist resort;
"Comrade, have you read Marx?"
"Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs"
I used to make sand castles with my grandfather until I was told to put the Urn back.
...
"Are you aware that Thailand used to have a different name?"
"Yes, I am."
My mechanic says he can tighten nuts & bolts while hes sitting on them . . . I reckon he's talking out of his arse.
When i awoke this morning Storm Eunice was really gusting ,so i went and checked on the caravan in the back garden.
It wasn't there last night
Caught my son playing with an electrical socket, had to ground him.
Don't worry it's just a phase he's going though.
That's shocking!
Thanks for keeping us updated on current events on real live down to earth parenting though I prefer a neutral option myself.
What's pink and rusty - Madeline mc Canns bike
Have to say, that's really unfunny and shows very poor taste in humour.
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Total thanks 1
Email address they use for job applications is ballsdeep69@madmail.com
This is a joke
+1
Police have yet to identify the man who fell from the roof of a local nightclub last night but all they can say is he wasn’t a bouncer.
I noticed an old woman must have been in her 80s struggling at an ATM, as I was walking pass she softly spoke asking me "can you help me please", I said "sure thing love what's the problem" she was explaining she was having difficulty checking her balance,
being the kind soul I am i pushed her over, - She needs to work more on her balance
Hard luck
My housemate pranked me with a dead pheasant under my bed, does he think this is some kind of game?
My mother was a librarian. When I was born I was two weeks overdue so I had to pay 20c.
My mate said I wasn’t a true Cockney.
So I pushed him down the apples and oranges...
This is beyond a joke.
I just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock.
It’s not the best job in the world, but it gets me out of the house.
Just read a superb book about an immortal dog.
It was impossible to put down
I knew a joke once
I'm surprised no physical harm has ever come to Bono, Larry Mullen or Adam Clayton cos when you think about it - they've been living close to The Edge for years.
I think they all live miles apart from each other but they work close enough.
It’s the pedantic in me, sorry! 🙄
I believe you meant pedant. Sorry!
A man just shouted at me until I answered his questionnaire on Christianity.
He scared the b) Jesus out of me!!
I have an inferiority complex but not a very good one.
