Ruining a wedding

Hego Damask · 19-04-2021 9:18pm

Motivator wrote: »

I was at a wedding a few years ago with my wife, I didn’t know the people getting married so I didn’t know the backstory to the whole thing. We got to the hotel for the reception and it was all very awkward for some reason, not because I didn’t know anyone, but because there was a huge amount of tension everywhere I went. Lots of whispers and what appeared to be gossiping going on. The bar was full of it, the foyer was full of it and the patio for the smokers was full of it. I struck up a conversation with a guy at the bar just before we were due in for the meal and as the bell rang he just said “The main event is starting”. I didn’t know what it meant but I was intrigued.

Got in to our table and the speeches were starting more or less straightaway. A pint glass was produced and everyone agreed €20 was the stake. What I didn’t know was that it wasn’t about how long the speeches would be, but how long it would take the father of the bride to insult the bride’s mother - his ex wife. I didn’t know what was happening but I was very very curious.

The father stood up, produced an IPad and off he went. Insulted the ex wife after probably 30 seconds. Then insulted his daughter, his new son in law, the son in law’s parents and the staff at the hotel. One line that will always stay with me is “I always dreamed that when my daughter got married she would stop looking to me for handouts, but seeing as Brian is an underachiever i can see her being a drain on me financially for another few years”. This wasn’t a joke, it was typed out on a iPad and read aloud as seriously as anything. It was absolutely awful. He got all his insults out in the first five minutes and pretty much ruined the whole night. He bragged about his successes in business and in life and thanked his new girlfriend, sitting at the table opposite ours, for “finally making him happy“. He never once mentioned how happy he was for his daughter or wished the bride and groom any good luck whatsoever. He mentioned NAMA and how he hopes they can see him now, muttered something about his property in Spain and then just put the microphone down and then began scrolling on his iPad as the best man stood up. It was absolutely terrible and he had apparently shown his speech to someone that morning and word and rumours spread about how bad it was going to be. It completely ruined the evening and dominated all conversation. After the meal he put a few quid behind the bar and walked out with his girlfriend in tow.

He sounds like an absolute fhuerking LEGEND!!!!

tea and coffee · 19-04-2021 9:32pm

A2LUE42 wrote: »

Can't believe that there hasn't been a mention of any of the following.

Stand Mixer.
Painting
Cake/Cup Cake Guy
Bike

That's in there. Page 30

NickNickleby · 19-04-2021 9:32pm

dilallio wrote: »

I was an alter boy back in the mid 70s. We used to love weddings because everyone would be in good form and we'd often get rewarded fifty pence or a pound by the wedding party if we were really lucky. ....

One particular day, the other alter boy couldn't make it, so I asked my 8 year old brother to stand in. I tried to explain what he needed to do beforehand, and convinced him by telling him if he did a really good job, we might get fifty pence or a pound.

Anyhow, the moment comes for the blessing of the rings and I whispered to my brother to hand me the glass tray. The best man took the rings from his pocket and placed them on the tray, followed by about 4 or 5 fifty pence pieces. My young brother spotted the fifty pence pieces, grabbed them from the glass trap and pockets them, delighted with himself. The priest and I are standing there awkwardly and I'm whispering to my brother "put them back, put them back". After a few seconds which felt a lot longer, he puts the coins back and whispers back "I though you said we'd get money". The bride, groom, and best man are pissing themselves laughing at this stage, and the rest of the ceremony goes well.

This is a lovely story. You can almost see his little face lighting up, the way you tell it.:)

A2LUE42 · 19-04-2021 9:36pm

tea and coffee wrote: »

That's in there. Page 30

Ah, I missed it

lab man · 19-04-2021 9:52pm

HBC08 wrote: »

I was told that my main function as groomsman was to accept the cards on behalf of the bride and groom.
There was a safe in reception so i thought id leave them in there.I was fairly clueless as it was my first time being groomsman.People gave cards all throughout the day and night including when i was hammered on the dancefloor.The next morning when they opened the safe there were only about 40 cards,i was freaking out as there was about 200 at the wedding,i eventually found another 20 or so in the boot of the car but that was it.
To this day we don't know where the rest of the cards went. It was pretty bad form on my part but the couple were really sound about it.

I know of a hotel that one of the receptionist had light fingers they put in an old post box after wit a lock in it after getting cleaned at 1 wedding

19-04-2021 10:20pm

lab man wrote: »

I know of a hotel that one of the receptionist had light fingers they put in an old post box after wit a lock in it after getting cleaned at 1 wedding

I gave the card for the bride and groom with the best man - good relationship before hand. Gave them a decent cash present in the card.

I met her several times on a daily basis (at work) afterwards and the relationship seemed to sour and she never said thanks for the present (that doesn't always happen, so isn't conclusive). I knew her for a couple of years before that and our relationship was grand. I did wonder afterwards if they didn't get the card.

saabsaab · 19-04-2021 11:04pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I gave the card for the bride and groom with the best man - good relationship before hand. Gave them a decent cash present in the card.

I met her several times on a daily basis (at work) afterwards and the relationship seemed to sour and she never said thanks for the present (that doesn't always happen, so isn't conclusive). I knew her for a couple of years before that and our relationship was grand. I did wonder afterwards if they didn't get the card.

One wedding some of the cards were found on the lawn outside the next day empty of course except for one cheque made out to the couple! Probably someone waiting for their chance when the best man hangs up their jacket!

KevRossi · 19-04-2021 11:20pm

I mentioned this thread on a Zoom call with a work colleague today, asked him had he anything to mention. Then he told me that he was actually engaged to be married before his present wife (I never knew this).

They were together a few years, then it came to arrange the wedding. Reception was to be held in a hotel that held 200 max. His mother-in-law to be, wrote up a list of people from her side that had to be invited as well as her friends and local movers and shakers. It came to just over 140 people! That left just over 55 people from his side of the family and the bride and grooms friends and work colleagues.

There was no budging and the venue could not be changed. Mother in law threatened to stay at home if it wasn't done her way. Eventually he relented on this.

MiL also got her friends to do flowers and cake and they were charging utterly extortionate prices. Neither of them had any experience at the job, just did it as a hobby.

Some other friend of hers was to do the wedding car. Turns out it was a 10 year old BMW 5-series that looked like a ball of shyte. He wanted an invite for himself and the wife and €300 for the day.

Priest had to be flown in from the USA at their cost, as well as a hotel for him for 4 nights. Bridesmaids outfits were budgeted at something like €600 a pop. MiL was to be given a voucher for €1,000 or €1,500 for Brown Thomas for her outfit.

With all the rows on this and a lot more, the relationship broke down and they split up. Cost him about €5,000 in lost booking fees and deposits but he was glad to get out of it.

His own wedding a couple of years later was 12 family in a chapel Italy and a Bar-B-Q for 150 at a local football club when they got home.

rn · 19-04-2021 11:28pm

Reminds me of a wedding my wife and I were at a number of years ago. Wife gave a card with 200 euro in notes to one of groomsmen. Fast forward to next night and party in bridal suite. No sign our our card. Wife asks directly her friend, no record and friend admits she was amazed we hadn't given anything. Never a trace of that card to today.

Remember another wedding. Grooms family rated themselves as amazing orators... Especially with a few pints. Anyway we all chipped in the 5er and we scribbled down the timings. 10mins, 12 mins. A brave one went for 45. Someone controversial 46 minutes. Timed from the first stand up until best man done. Bride spoke for 3 mins. Mother of bride spoke for 5 mins. Then the groom... 55 mins later with no one the wiser at what he was talking about, he sits down. Then father stands up. 1h 10 mins later, it's the best man's job. He's another 45 mins. All the stories were the same, from grooms childhood and life with bride. Or so I was told as I went for a 2h nap in the middle and still made it down for the first dance!

saabsaab · 19-04-2021 11:48pm

KevRossi wrote: »

I mentioned this thread on a Zoom call with a work colleague today, asked him had he anything to mention. Then he told me that he was actually engaged to be married before his present wife (I never knew this).

They were together a few years, then it came to arrange the wedding. Reception was to be held in a hotel that held 200 max. His mother-in-law to be, wrote up a list of people from her side that had to be invited as well as her friends and local movers and shakers. It came to just over 140 people! That left just over 55 people from his side of the family and the bride and grooms friends and work colleagues.

There was no budging and the venue could not be changed. Mother in law threatened to stay at home if it wasn't done her way. Eventually he relented on this.

MiL also got her friends to do flowers and cake and they were charging utterly extortionate prices. Neither of them had any experience at the job, just did it as a hobby.

Some other friend of hers was to do the wedding car. Turns out it was a 10 year old BMW 5-series that looked like a ball of shyte. He wanted an invite for himself and the wife and €300 for the day.

Priest had to be flown in from the USA at their cost, as well as a hotel for him for 4 nights. Bridesmaids outfits were budgeted at something like €600 a pop. MiL was to be given a voucher for €1,000 or €1,500 for Brown Thomas for her outfit.

With all the rows on this and a lot more, the relationship broke down and they split up. Cost him about €5,000 in lost booking fees and deposits but he was glad to get out of it.

His own wedding a couple of years later was 12 family in a chapel Italy and a Bar-B-Q for 150 at a local football club when they got home.

Sounds like a very lucky escape. Why do some people go to such extreme expense.

Leg End Reject · 19-04-2021 11:49pm

saabsaab wrote: »

Sounds like a very lucky escape. Why do some people go to such extreme expense.

Notions and keeping up with the Jones.

Sharpyshoot · 19-04-2021 11:50pm

Incorrect coitus is always a recipe for disaster at a wedding.

corner of hells · 20-04-2021 12:17am

Sharpyshoot wrote: »

Incorrect coitus is always a recipe for disaster at a wedding.

Ridin' the wrong person?

For Forks Sake · 20-04-2021 12:19am

Sharpyshoot wrote: »

Incorrect coitus is always a recipe for disaster at a wedding.

Coitus Disruptus

Sharpyshoot · 20-04-2021 12:19am

corner of hells wrote: »

Ridin' the wrong person?

Copious amounts of Guinness and powers can make one do strange things.

charlie14 · 20-04-2021 12:21am

Toots wrote: »

I didn't get up in the family group shot for my now-husband's brother's wedding for this exact reason. His mum and dad and all the sisters were calling me to be in the pic but I felt weird about it (I was 18 and we were only together about a year or so) so I covered it up by telling them all to give me their cameras and let me take a pic with them to make sure everyone got one. I'm in the main group photo, but that's got like 100 others in it so not the end of the world if I had to be cropped out or something. I needn't have worried, seeing as we're still together 17 years later. I was very surprised they were so keen to have me in the pic though, and I wouldn't have been at all offended if they hadn't wanted me in it :pac:

Looks like the whole family had your card well marked and had you down, as "a good catch"

Toots · 20-04-2021 1:04am

charlie14 wrote: »

Looks like the whole family had your card well marked and had you down, as "a good catch"

well they certainly are a welcoming bunch!

Funnily enough, I'd figured we weren't "serious" enough for me to be in the photos seeing as how we were so young and not living together, but 2 of the other siblings had their fiancés in the photo and both of them ended up splitting. One was particularly acrimonious and yer one is there front and centre on all the family wedding photos :eek:

partyguinness · 20-04-2021 10:04am

Toots wrote: »

well they certainly are a welcoming bunch!

Funnily enough, I'd figured we weren't "serious" enough for me to be in the photos seeing as how we were so young and not living together, but 2 of the other siblings had their fiancés in the photo and both of them ended up splitting. One was particularly acrimonious and yer one is there front and centre on all the family wedding photos :eek:

There is a reason the +1 tend to be put at the very end of the family group pics...so they can be cropped out if necessary..;)

PhilOssophy · 20-04-2021 10:11am

lab man wrote: »

I know of a hotel that one of the receptionist had light fingers they put in an old post box after wit a lock in it after getting cleaned at 1 wedding

Wedding presents are the only thing I use a cheque book for to this day. At least if I don't see it coming out of my account, I can say to the couple "did you get it"?

partyguinness · 20-04-2021 10:16am

I just do not give cash. It is crass, tacky and just lazy IMO. Sure I see the advantages etc and I am not criticising anyone for doing it but just not for me. Growing up I was thought that cash/money and talking about it was vulgar- only for people who didnt have it.

Have you ever been to an Indian wedding? All the guests quite literally form a sort of conga line where they hand over envelopes of cash to the couple.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 20-04-2021 10:21am

partyguinness wrote: »

Have you ever been to an Indian wedding? All the guests quite literally form a sort of conga line where they hand over envelopes of cash to the couple.

A conga of cash - sounds good to me

Atlantic Dawn · 20-04-2021 10:25am

partyguinness wrote: »

I just do not give cash. It is crass, tacky and just lazy IMO. Sure I see the advantages etc and I am not criticising anyone for doing it but just not for me. Growing up I was thought that cash/money and talking about it was vulgar- only for people who didnt have it.

Cash is the only way to guarantee a person can buy a gift they actually want.

BaZmO* · 20-04-2021 10:37am

partyguinness wrote: »

I just do not give cash. It is crass, tacky and just lazy IMO.

partyguinness wrote: »

......and I am not criticising anyone for doing it ........

You kinda are though

partyguinness · 20-04-2021 10:50am

BaZmO* wrote: »

You kinda are though

Well....TBH I genuinely am not..I completely see the advantages and sure there is enough going on to start worrying about gifts...but it is just a personal choice. It's like some people like Carling...I can't stand the stuff but I wouldn't criticsie anyone for drinking it as such..some lads hate Guinness...I love it.

PhilOssophy · 20-04-2021 11:06am

partyguinness wrote: »

Well....TBH I genuinely am not..I completely see the advantages and sure there is enough going on to start worrying about gifts...but it is just a personal choice. It's like some people like Carling...I can't stand the stuff but I wouldn't criticsie anyone for drinking it as such..some lads hate Guinness...I love it.

I like Carling....said nobody ever.

Skyrimaddict · 20-04-2021 11:08am

partyguinness wrote: »

I just do not give cash. It is crass, tacky and just lazy IMO. Sure I see the advantages etc and I am not criticising anyone for doing it but just not for me. Growing up I was thought that cash/money and talking about it was vulgar- only for people who didnt have it.

Have you ever been to an Indian wedding? All the guests quite literally form a sort of conga line where they hand over envelopes of cash to the couple.

Only people who are dodgy feel the ned to not talk about it. Most people live together now for a few years, so the wedding present is gone out the window, what do you geta couple that has already furnished a house?? A ****e Vase or toaster???

Does remind me of a wedding I was at when i was 17, so a while back. Was brought as my cousins ( also male) plus one as it was his older Bro getting married. Good piss up !

Anyway, like most weddings, cards and cash were given to the best man and groomsman, the best man was on hand for a few hours, but go so pissed that he ended up sick everywhere and in bed.
Grooms man took over the collection.

Next morning a few of the closer family are roused to look for the best man jackets as it has gone missing. Car keys gone, cards gone etc. Jacket was found outside near a water feature in bits, nothing but the keys in it, even his cigs were stolen.

All panic then as the best man was so sick in the morning he couldn't remember anything so no clue as to where his jacket went and the bride and from very annoyed. It did mean the next day celebration was very cloudy as all guests from the previous day were there, all of them, so obvious that someone had snatched the cards and jacket and thrown it away, but turned up to the next day bash.

Akward !!!

Jim Root · 20-04-2021 11:09am

partyguinness wrote: »

Well....TBH I genuinely am not..I completely see the advantages and sure there is enough going on to start worrying about gifts...but it is just a personal choice. It's like some people like Carling...I can't stand the stuff but I wouldn't criticsie anyone for drinking it as such..some lads hate Guinness...I love it.

Calling it lazy is a criticism

ohnonotgmail · 20-04-2021 11:11am

Jim Root wrote: »

Calling it lazy is a criticism

calling it crass and tacky isn't a compliment either. that attitude towards giving cash just smacks of snobbery.

Pawwed Rig · 20-04-2021 11:18am

partyguinness wrote: »

I just do not give cash. It is crass, tacky and just lazy IMO. Sure I see the advantages etc and I am not criticising anyone for doing it but just not for me. Growing up I was thought that cash/money and talking about it was vulgar- only for people who didnt have it.

Have you ever been to an Indian wedding? All the guests quite literally form a sort of conga line where they hand over envelopes of cash to the couple.

In the Philippines they actually line up and stick cash to the brides dress :pac:

partyguinness · 20-04-2021 11:21am

Jim Root wrote: »

Calling it lazy is a criticism

Funnily enough I would regard it as crass, tacky and lazy on my part rather than anyone else. At the end of the day it is really none of my business what anyone else gives out as a gift be it cash or a wok.

Ruining a wedding

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