What's the craic (pun intended) with anal sex?

22-12-2018 10:48PM

God I find this depressing.

That anyone would have every guy she gets intimate with asking for anal sex ?? Really ? Surely on a ONS it’s just regular or oral sex?

I’m a lot older. I’ve tried anal sex once or twice. It was always within a long term committed relationship. I found it a turn on and very intimate. If anything it brought us closer but I’d emphasize that’s because we were in a relationship and we were both turned on by it. It was very occasional , it takes much more time and prep , not something you can rush. Also with us it was more messing around sensual stuff rather than deep penetratitive anal sex.

What I find depressing is that reading most posts it’s all about non committed one night stand stuff. Obviously I’m showing my age but I’d prefer no sex than that. Intimacy is incredibly arousing, nothing is off the cards when there is trust , I just couldn’t do that stuff with men I didn’t have an existing connection with.

I’d hate to be 30 looking for a really good guy to fall in love with and have great meaningful sex with and a future with. Especially if they’re all looking for anal sex first time out !!

Even though I’m older I’ve lots of male interest and I can keep guys interested by NOT jumping into bed with them. I’m no prude but anal sex and stuff like that is better within a relationship and with someone you’re already very intimate with and where things are completely mutual.

neonsofa · 22-12-2018 10:51PM

Username here wrote: »

Do you have a finger?

I do not have a penis length finger

Sardonicat · 22-12-2018 10:52PM

neonsofa wrote: »

Username here wrote: »

Do you have a finger?

I do not have a penis length finger

Ah, you have a finger the length of some penises, surely?

neonsofa · 22-12-2018 10:54PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

Ah, you have a finger the length of some penises, surely?

Possibly, none I've ever seen. Completely off topic :pac:

Porklife · 22-12-2018 10:56PM

neonsofa wrote: »

I do not have a penis length finger

Brilliant response :pac:

PukkaStukka · 22-12-2018 10:57PM

Deleted User wrote: »

God I find this depressing.

That anyone would have every guy she gets intimate with asking for anal sex ?? Really ? Surely on a ONS it’s just regular or oral sex?

I’m a lot older. I’ve tried anal sex once or twice. It was always within a long term committed relationship. I found it a turn on and very intimate. If anything it brought us closer but I’d emphasize that’s because we were in a relationship and we were both turned on by it. It was very occasional , it takes much more time and prep , not something you can rush. Also with us it was more messing around sensual stuff rather than deep penetratitive anal sex.

What I find depressing is that reading most posts it’s all about non committed one night stand stuff. Obviously I’m showing my age but I’d prefer no sex than that. Intimacy is incredibly arousing, nothing is off the cards when there is trust , I just couldn’t do that stuff with men I didn’t have an existing connection with.

I’d hate to be 30 looking for a really good guy to fall in love with and have great meaningful sex with and a future with. Especially if they’re all looking for anal sex first time out !!

Even though I’m older I’ve lots of male interest and I can keep guys interested by NOT jumping into bed with them. I’m no prude but anal sex and stuff like that is better within a relationship and with someone you’re already very intimate with and where things are completely mutual.

Great post. Today's world seems to be one where the increase in expectations is matched by a decrease in interpersonal values.

PARlance · 22-12-2018 10:58PM

neonsofa wrote: »

I do not have a penis length finger

Just put half your finger in so...

ginandtonicsky · 22-12-2018 10:59PM

Deleted User wrote: »

What I find depressing is that reading most posts it’s all about non committed one night stand stuff. Obviously I’m showing my age but I’d prefer no sex than that. Intimacy is incredibly arousing, nothing is off the cards when there is trust , I just couldn’t do that stuff with men I didn’t have an existing connection with.

I’d hate to be 30 looking for a really good guy to fall in love with and have great meaningful sex with and a future with. Especially if they’re all looking for anal sex first time out !!

I'd be similarly wired Sweetmaggie. Sex is an intimate act to me and I can't do it casually anymore, tried it in my 20s and spent many years on the dating scene feeling headfcuked, hurt, disappointed etc. Plus casual sex nine times out of ten is astoundingly forgettable and mediocre IME, so not worth the experience!

There's a fast food culture with dating these days though, because of the dozens of apps you're always a swipe away from someone that "might be better" and the tendency to "hit it and quit it" can be strong. I've had guys not want to see me again after 3/4 dates because they tried it on and I wasn't up for it, but there are ways of filtering out the guys that are out for the ride versus the ones that want to get to know you as a person. Just don't sleep with them earlier than is comfortable for you!It also means there's a buildup and a friendship and intimacy before you hop into bed together and that makes for better sex by my standards anyway.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 11:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

God I find this depressing.

That anyone would have every guy she gets intimate with asking for anal sex ?? Really ? Surely on a ONS it’s just regular or oral sex?

I’m a lot older. I’ve tried anal sex once or twice. It was always within a long term committed relationship. I found it a turn on and very intimate. If anything it brought us closer but I’d emphasize that’s because we were in a relationship and we were both turned on by it. It was very occasional , it takes much more time and prep , not something you can rush. Also with us it was more messing around sensual stuff rather than deep penetratitive anal sex.

What I find depressing is that reading most posts it’s all about non committed one night stand stuff. Obviously I’m showing my age but I’d prefer no sex than that. Intimacy is incredibly arousing, nothing is off the cards when there is trust , I just couldn’t do that stuff with men I didn’t have an existing connection with.

I’d hate to be 30 looking for a really good guy to fall in love with and have great meaningful sex with and a future with. Especially if they’re all looking for anal sex first time out !!

Even though I’m older I’ve lots of male interest and I can keep guys interested by NOT jumping into bed with them. I’m no prude but anal sex and stuff like that is better within a relationship and with someone you’re already very intimate with and where things are completely mutual.

I love real true blue intimacy as much as the next guy and I would much rather have a guy whisper sweet nothings in my ear then whisper can I f*ck you in the a** but such is modern day dating. I find it depressing too. I hate that it's happened to me so many times. I've no issue with one night stands and back in the day, I never got asked this but nowadays it seems to be the done thing.

i'm asking about the most recent guy because I really respect him and like him. We've been on a number of dates are are becoming closer by the day and I'm scared this may tarnish it. What if it doesn't live up to his expectations, what if it's messy and gross, what if it simply won't fit etc but I guess I should relax and go with the flow quite iterally when the time is right, which clearly isn't now as it's too soon and I'm too stressed out about it! Also, it has me wondering is he bored of regular sex already and if we go.. black (brown) will we never go back?! Will 'normal' sex seem dull in comparision?!

who knew an asshole would bring up so many questions :pac::P

Sardonicat · 22-12-2018 11:04PM

OP, why are you even contemplating doing something you know you don't enjoy? Seriously ?

chicorytip · 22-12-2018 11:06PM

Javier Fierce Moon wrote:

Oral sex is a perfectly pleasurable experience - once people keep themselves clean down there it's extremely enjoyable, it's not sore, you don't need lube. As with any sex act, best with someone you really like/love but how could something so pleasurable be unacceptable?

I think it's abominable. From my male perspective it would demonstrate a complete lack of respect toward my female sexual partner by expecting her to take into her mouth the organ with which I also urinate.

Ariadne · 22-12-2018 11:08PM

chicorytip wrote: »

I think it's abominable. From my male perspective it would demonstrate a complete lack of respect toward my female sexual partner by expecting her to take into her mouth the organ with which I also urinate.

Ah as long as you wash yourself it's grand. Blow jobs are great craic.

Sardonicat · 22-12-2018 11:11PM

chicorytip wrote: »

Javier Fierce Moon wrote:

Oral sex is a perfectly pleasurable experience - once people keep themselves clean down there it's extremely enjoyable, it's not sore, you don't need lube. As with any sex act, best with someone you really like/love but how could something so pleasurable be unacceptable?

I think it's abominable. From my male perspective it would demonstrate a complete lack of respect toward my female sexual partner by expecting her to take into her mouth the organ with which I also urinate.

Flavoured condoms?

22-12-2018 11:15PM

Porklife wrote: »

I love real true blue intimacy as much as the next guy and I would much rather have a guy whisper sweet nothings in my ear then whisper can I f*ck you in the a** but such is modern day dating. I find it depressing too. I hate that it's happened to me so many times. I've no issue with one night stands and back in the day, I never got asked this but nowadays it seems to be the done thing.

i'm asking about the most recent guy because I really respect him and like him. We've been on a number of dates are are becoming closer by the day and I'm scared this may tarnish it. What if it doesn't live up to his expectations, what if it's messy and gross, what if it simply won't fit etc but I guess I should relax and go with the flow quite iterally when the time is right, which clearly isn't now as it's too soon and I'm too stressed out about it! Also, it has me wondering is he bored of regular sex already and if we go.. black (brown) will we never go back?! Will 'normal' sex seem dull in comparision?!

who knew an asshole would bring up so many questions :pac::P

(Sorry I can’t highlight certain paragraphs on my iPad so quoting entire post ).

You say you really respect this guy and like him. It’s a tough one, but no way would I entertain anal sex this soon. I’d want to know I could blow his brains by regular sex first, that he was really into me anyway , as a person, as well as sexually . I wouldn’t want to be an experiment .
Stand up for what you want or don’t want. Stand up for yourself. If he walks he’s not worth it. If you’re just an experiment for him he can find that anywhere. Why would you do something to keep a guy if you’re not comfortable with it too. Why would you “respect “ him? I wouldn’t if he keeps pushing this .

Talk to him, explain this, if he’s into you and respects you back he should understand .

Wibbs · 22-12-2018 11:18PM

killanena wrote: »

after a minute or so it's not much tighter then normal sex, if anything it's more restrictive if that makes any sense.

This pretty much. It doesn't give you the all around pressure/pleasure either.

PukkaStukka wrote: »

Great post. Today's world seems to be one where the increase in expectations is matched by a decrease in interpersonal values.

Ah it is and it isn't PStuka. Depends on the environment. The Tinder neck of the woods is more likely to have that kinda thing. Meeting people through work/hobbies/pub is gonna give you a different flavour.

Porklife wrote: »

who knew an asshole would bring up so many questions :pac::P

Arseholes are always full of questions. Oh wait that's the bipedal variety.

chicorytip wrote: »

I think it's abominable. From my male perspective it would demonstrate a complete lack of respect toward my female sexual partner by expecting her to take into her mouth the organ with which I also urinate.

You kiss her with the mouth you eat with. Your hands are covered in bacteria most of the time and you and her will have those same hands all over each other's intimate bits. You're also the "organ you urinate" with into where any kids you have will pass through. And blood once a month etc.

Feisar · 22-12-2018 11:20PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Nope, just questioning your logic.

Depends on how one defines "natural". As for one's sexual preference it doesn't mean whatever one gets up to is automatically "natural". There are people gay and straight and whatever you're having yourself that get up to all sorts of stuff in the bedroom, some of it pretty out there and some of it risky. Some are into urethra "play" with various objects. Is that "natural" too?

But, whatever one's sexual preference the fact is the anus is not designed for penetration with a penis. The walls are thinner and have no lubrication and even with artificial lube it's more likely to cause injury to the receiver, more likely to cause tears in the wall of the rectum and has higher risks of STD transmission, never mind bacteria that can cause all sorts of infections to both giver and receiver. If two people are into it then game ball, but the "natural" element is stretching things(Missus!!! Part III).

Or anything phallic. Prostate massage = out of body experience. Double ended stap on thingy = bleeding anus.

Rectum, damn near killed 'um!

skimpydoo · 22-12-2018 11:22PM

As a 48 year old guy I don’t see the attraction of Anal. The women goes through pain for my pleasure which makes me wonder how many guys on here would allow a woman to use a strap on with them?

Be honest guys.

Avatar MIA · 22-12-2018 11:24PM

Wibbs wrote: »

You kiss her with the mouth you eat with. Your hands are covered in bacteria most of the time and you and her will have those same hands all over each other's intimate bits. You're also the "organ you urinate" with into where any kids you have will pass through. And blood once a month etc.

Not sure if you were trying to chastise your man or put me off sex for life :pac:

Feisar · 22-12-2018 11:25PM

skimpydoo wrote: »

As a 48 year old guy I don’t see the attraction of Anal. The women goes through pain for my pleasure which makes me wonder how many guys on here would allow a woman to use a strap on with them?

Be honest guys.

See my post above!

chicorytip · 22-12-2018 11:27PM

Wibbs wrote:

You kiss her with the mouth you eat with. Your hands are covered in bacteria most of the time and you and her will have those same hands all over each other's intimate bits. You're also the "organ you urinate" with into where any kids you have will pass through. And blood once a month etc.

Saliva is not a transmitter of gonhorrea.

Pac1Man · 22-12-2018 11:29PM

And still, nobody has mentioned the prospect of a sh!tty willy, your GF's or not.

sk8erboii · 22-12-2018 11:32PM

Pac1Man wrote: »

And still, nobody has mentioned the prospect of a sh!tty willy, your GF's or not.

you keep going, and think of the consequences later

skimpydoo · 22-12-2018 11:33PM

Has anyone mentioned ATM something that does not turn me on.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 11:33PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

OP, why are you even contemplating doing something you know you don't enjoy? Seriously ?

Sardonicat (awesome username btw!!), because I think with this particular guy, I will enjoy it. I think in the past they weren't the right guys etc. I mean, I've only done it once years ago and it wasn't awful, it wasn't great either but.. my problem with the modern day dating scene is that all the guys are asking to do it so casually. That's what I'm struggling with, when did it become ok to casually ask to stick your dick up someone's ass?! unless you're in an underground gay bar in San Francisco in the 70's where that's probably revered, I don't think it's ok!!

My issue is not doing it per se, it's the fact that it's so readily requested these days and I just don't know if I'm ok with that.

sk8erboii · 22-12-2018 11:34PM

skimpydoo wrote: »

Has anyone mentioned ATM something that does not turn me on.

Lol? everyone 16-23 ish is eating ass these days

skimpydoo · 22-12-2018 11:37PM

sk8erboii wrote: »

Lol? everyone 16-23 ish is eating ass these days

No ATM is when she sucks your mickey after anal.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 11:37PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

Flavoured condoms?

Chicory flavoured tip (of your knob:))

sk8erboii · 22-12-2018 11:37PM

skimpydoo wrote: »

No ATM is when she sucks your mickey after anal.

Yeah i know, im saying we've cut out the middle man

skimpydoo · 22-12-2018 11:39PM

sk8erboii wrote: »

Yeah i know, im saying we've cut out the middle man

It’s not my Lyons.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 11:43PM

Deleted User wrote: »

(Sorry I can’t highlight certain paragraphs on my iPad so quoting entire post ).

You say you really respect this guy and like him. It’s a tough one, but no way would I entertain anal sex this soon. I’d want to know I could blow his brains by regular sex first, that he was really into me anyway , as a person, as well as sexually . I wouldn’t want to be an experiment .
Stand up for what you want or don’t want. Stand up for yourself. If he walks he’s not worth it. If you’re just an experiment for him he can find that anywhere. Why would you do something to keep a guy if you’re not comfortable with it too. Why would you “respect “ him? I wouldn’t if he keeps pushing this .

Talk to him, explain this, if he’s into you and respects you back he should understand .

Thank you sweetmagie, very sage advice and lovely words. Thing is, this guy asked only once very gently last night. I said no, and he said that's no problem. He apologised for even asking. He's a good person and a sweet guy. I am tempted because of that. I want to get to him better before going there though

Unfortunately, my usual online dating fiasco is the guy just straight out bluntly asking for it. It's grim but true an dthen the sigh if you say no

What's the craic (pun intended) with anal sex?

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