What's the craic (pun intended) with anal sex?

Franz Von Peppercorn · 22-12-2018 06:13PM

sk8erboii wrote: »

Well ****. Arrest every teenager i guess.

It happened already. A stupid and sexist law tbh. Only the guy is culpable.

holystungun9 · 22-12-2018 06:13PM

Comedian Chris Rock said it best. Men can’t go back sexually and women can’t go back financially. Once a woman has had a boyfriend with money, going out with a broke guy is much less desirable. Once a guy has got used to more adventurous sex with a woman, he doesn’t want to go back to just the rudimentary stuff

Franz Von Peppercorn · 22-12-2018 06:20PM

holystungun9 wrote: »

Comedian Chris Rock said it best. Men can’t go back sexually and women can’t go back financially. Once a woman has had a boyfriend with money, going out with a broke guy is much less desirable. Once a guy has got used to more adventurous sex with a woman, he doesn’t want to go back to just the rudimentary stuff

I’ve known quite a few horn dogs who’ve married the quiet librarian types. Long term isn’t the same as a fling or even a youthful enough dalliance.

1800_Ladladlad · 22-12-2018 06:20PM

If the river is red I do tend to take the dirt track.

Plumbthedepths · 22-12-2018 06:28PM

Remember this from Viz magazine. 'Snookered on the Pink by the Red, go for a difficult Brown'.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 22-12-2018 06:31PM

I assumed lots of couples have done anal? Hubs and I haven’t because it appeals to neither of us but I didn’t really think it was much of a taboo anymore, especially as it’s how gay men have penetrative sex all the time. I’m surprised that people think porn has much to do with it. Some of the replies on this thread have surprised me.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 06:35PM

holystungun9 wrote: »

Comedian Chris Rock said it best. Men can’t go back sexually and women can’t go back financially. Once a woman has had a boyfriend with money, going out with a broke guy is much less desirable. Once a guy has got used to more adventurous sex with a woman, he doesn’t want to go back to just the rudimentary stuff

That's interesting but not necessarily true. I went out with a real estate agent years ago and a broke ass musician after we broke up. Had way more love for the musician.

He said he's never done it before and has always wanted to. He's big though so that's a concern but... I'm definitely tempted. I really like him and would like to give him what he wants. I'm worried he'll think I'm tacky or something though, not tacky... slutty I guess much as I detest that word and wish I wasn't worried!

RWCNT · 22-12-2018 06:41PM

I'm not a fan, and I know I'm in the extreme minority for it. A bit too tight for my liking. P in v is just the business.

I'm alright taking it though. Apparently I'm quite rare as a bi man that mainly sleeps with women but exclusively bottoms for other men. Makes me feel special.

facehugger99 · 22-12-2018 06:45PM

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

Like others I suspect the attraction is down to porn. Jimmy Carr made a joke years ago that the birth rate is going to go way down because people learn about sex from porn. "Well I shag her in the arse then cum on her tits, but we just can't seem to get pregnant!"

I do worry about that there's a chauvinistic element to it; that it can be uncomfortable to women and seen as submissive, but maybe some men are just conditioned to think that it's a natural part of sex and something they should want. Personally I've only done it a couple of times (at the ladies request) and it wasn't my favourite experience.

The bottom line OP is if you're uncomfortable with it, it's your choice, and no man should keep pestering you over it. If they can't respect your decision, get rid.

Well played Sir.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 06:46PM

RWCNT wrote: »

I'm not a fan, and I know I'm in the extreme minority for it. A bit too tight for my liking. P in v is just the business.

I'm alright taking it though. Apparently I'm quite rare as a bi man that mainly sleeps with women but exclusively bottoms for other men. Makes me feel special.

Does it hurt if its too tight or just not feel good? If you don't mind me asking!

Gimme A Pound · 22-12-2018 06:53PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I assumed lots of couples have done anal? Hubs and I haven’t because it appeals to neither of us but I didn’t really think it was much of a taboo anymore, especially as it’s how gay men have penetrative sex all the time. I’m surprised that people think porn has much to do with it. Some of the replies on this thread have surprised me.

I don't think it's anal sex in and of itself (particularly between a couple) that's causing such replies, but a perceived increase in expectation of it on a date/casual encounter, to the point of a frosty reception if she would rather not. Also the OP saying she doesn't enjoy it but has still agreed to it anyway on a date.

Gimme A Pound · 22-12-2018 06:54PM

RWCNT wrote: »

I'm not a fan, and I know I'm in the extreme minority for it.

Extreme minority? Don't know about that.

neonsofa · 22-12-2018 07:01PM

RWCNT wrote: »

I'm not a fan, and I know I'm in the extreme minority for it. A bit too tight for my liking. P in v is just the business.

I'm alright taking it though. Apparently I'm quite rare as a bi man that mainly sleeps with women but exclusively bottoms for other men. Makes me feel special.

I never understand the gay/bi men not wanting to bottom. Or straight men not wanting anal play either, it's supposed to be most enjoyable for men.

I've been told that vaginal is tight all the way like a tunnel whereas anal is very tight at the door but kinda like an open room once through the door. I dunno how true that is though as I don't have a penis.

Op I'd never not do something for fear of seeming like a slut to the man engaging in the very same act. If you don't want to do it then don't though.

RWCNT · 22-12-2018 07:02PM

Javier Fierce Moon wrote: »

Extreme minority? Don't know about that.

Not surprised seeing you in this thread with your incredibly apt username! Maybe I'm wrong tbf, I'm only going by the fact that any lads I've ever discussed this with look at me like I've two heads when I tell them I'm not into it.

Porklife wrote: »

Does it hurt if its too tight or just not feel good? If you don't mind me asking!

Doesn't hurt, I just can't move as freely as when I'm in the other yoke. I feel impeded.

nthclare · 22-12-2018 07:08PM

Pauliedragon wrote: »

No. Never interested me to be honest but I used to work with shall we say a bunch of people who had a very liberal approach to sex so anything went so I heard a lot of stories.

Where was that ?
I kandi in Limerick

Wibbs · 22-12-2018 07:11PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I didn’t really think it was much of a taboo anymore, especially as it’s how gay men have penetrative sex all the time.

So what? What does what gay men do have anything to do with what straight men and women do?

RWCNT wrote: »

Maybe I'm wrong tbf, I'm only going by the fact that any lads I've ever discussed this with look at me like I've two heads when I tell them I'm not into it.

Aye but many lads will also claim to have big mickeys and to have shagged x amount of women, when their experience amounts to four and a fumbled drunken hand drop out the back of the pub. I have long found what people say they do/like and what they actually do/like often quite different. There can be a large dose of what's expected among peers too.

Gimme A Pound · 22-12-2018 07:13PM

RWCNT wrote: »

Not surprised seeing you in this thread with your incredibly apt username!.

That took me a few seconds to work out...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 22-12-2018 07:26PM

Wibbs wrote: »

So what? What does what gay men do have anything to do with what straight men and women do?

Aye but many lads will also claim to have big mickeys and to have shagged x amount of women, when their experience amounts to four and a fumbled drunken hand drop out the back of the pub. I have long found what people say they do/like and what they actually do/like often quite different. There can be a large dose of what's expected among peers too.

Very touchy altogether. :eek: It’s performed by many people, is my point and is as much a heterosexual act as an homosexual one, us all being equipped with an anus. So I’m surprised by some of the responses in this thread. Like it’s really perverse or something, when it’s not. I mentioned it being the mode of penetration of gay men to highlight that as a sexual act, it’s natural unless to people who don’t believe that being gay is natural. So I can’t understand why anyone would be shocked by it.

If one is happy to have casual sex (and no judgement here), why is one form of penetration considered fine but another not? It doesn’t make much logical sense to me. If the OP isn’t into anal, she shouldn’t do it but I don’t understand the logic that it’s something that nobody should expect from a casual encounter if both parties are keen but vaginal penetration = grand?

Wibbs · 22-12-2018 07:48PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Very touchy altogether. :eek:

Nope, just questioning your logic.

I mentioned it being the mode of penetration of gay men to highlight that as a sexual act, it’s natural unless to people who don’t believe that being gay is natural.

Depends on how one defines "natural". As for one's sexual preference it doesn't mean whatever one gets up to is automatically "natural". There are people gay and straight and whatever you're having yourself that get up to all sorts of stuff in the bedroom, some of it pretty out there and some of it risky. Some are into urethra "play" with various objects. Is that "natural" too?

But, whatever one's sexual preference the fact is the anus is not designed for penetration with a penis. The walls are thinner and have no lubrication and even with artificial lube it's more likely to cause injury to the receiver, more likely to cause tears in the wall of the rectum and has higher risks of STD transmission, never mind bacteria that can cause all sorts of infections to both giver and receiver. If two people are into it then game ball, but the "natural" element is stretching things(Missus!!! Part III).

Franz Von Peppercorn · 22-12-2018 07:51PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

If one is happy to have casual sex (and no judgement here), why is one form of penetration considered fine but another not? It doesn’t make much logical sense to me. If the OP isn’t into anal, she shouldn’t do it but I don’t understand the logic that it’s something that nobody should expect from a casual encounter if both parties are keen but vaginal penetration = grand?

Clearly one is riskier than the other, needs more preparation and isn’t comfortable for all.

Nobody is saying that people shouldn’t do it if they want to, btw, this isn’t the debate. Quite the opposite.

Sirius Boner · 22-12-2018 07:54PM

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

Clearly one is riskier than the other, needs more perpetration and isn’t comfortable for all.

Nobody is saying that people shouldn’t do it if they want to, btw, this isn’t the debate. Quite the opposite.

But, isn't it written in the Bible....
"And yay verily, Joseph sad unto Mary..one in the bum, no harm done"

Franz Von Peppercorn · 22-12-2018 07:58PM

Sirius Boner wrote: »

But, isn't it written in the Bible....
"And yay verily, Joseph sad unto Mary..one in the bum, no harm done"

That might explain why God had to jump in for the procreation bit, alright.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 22-12-2018 07:58PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Nope, just questioning your logic.

Depends on how one defines "natural". As for one's sexual preference it doesn't mean whatever one gets up to is automatically "natural". There are people gay and straight and whatever you're having yourself that get up to all sorts of stuff in the bedroom, some of it pretty out there and some of it risky. Some are into urethra "play" with various objects. Is that "natural" too?

But, whatever one's sexual preference the fact is the anus is not designed for penetration with a penis. The walls are thinner and have no lubrication and even with artificial lube it's more likely to cause injury to the receiver, more likely to cause tears in the wall of the rectum and has higher risks of STD transmission, never mind bacteria that can cause all sorts of infections to both giver and receiver. If two people are into it then game ball, but the "natural" element is stretching things(Missus!!! Part III).

There are things that make anal more of a challenge but hey, there are things that can make vaginal penetration physically challenging for some women (vaginismus, menopause). So for women who have some challenges in relation to vaginal penetration, is the act not natural for them? Because it’s more difficult? And anal sex gives a pleasurable feeling for many people who enjoy it, including the receiver. The bodies of people who enjoy it are equipped that way. They want to have anal sex because it feels good to them. There’s nothing unnatural about that.

As to STDs, yes they are more easily spread via anal sex but there are precautions that can be taken. With precautions taken, nobody who enjoys anal will in the moment be thinking about that, much like anyone having vaginal sex. They’ll be thinking “this feels amazing”.

Ariadne · 22-12-2018 07:58PM

I've been with guys that really liked anal and others that weren't really fussed. I don't mind anal myself, it's grand like but not something I'd want to be doing every night of the week, more of an occasional thing. Apparently I'm pretty "snug" so I don't know if anal is as necessary with me.

Gimme A Pound · 22-12-2018 08:00PM

Wibbs wrote: »

But, whatever one's sexual preference the fact is the anus is not designed for penetration with a penis. The walls are thinner and have no lubrication and even with artificial lube it's more likely to cause injury to the receiver, more likely to cause tears in the wall of the rectum and has higher risks of STD transmission, never mind bacteria that can cause all sorts of infections to both giver and receiver.

Yeah it's the normalisation of it that I find more questionable. I understand there are times when both parties want to do it, and I don't get it but people have lots of interests that I don't get, however it's sore and uncomfortable for many (and understandably so, given what's outlined in your post) so being an expectation doesn't sit well with me at all.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 08:03PM

Javier Fierce Moon wrote: »

I don't think it's anal sex in and of itself (particularly between a couple) that's causing such replies, but a perceived increase in expectation of it on a date/casual encounter, to the point of a frosty reception if she would rather not. Also the OP saying she doesn't enjoy it but has still agreed to it anyway on a date.

Exactly this..

I don't ever remember ex boyfriends from years ago asking for anal, well one guy did but he was ashamed asking me and we discussed it at lenght (oh missus!) and eventually did it but it was a big ordeal.

Nowadays, every single guy I get with asks me for it and seems to expect it. I don't know if it's that it's become so normalised by porn or what have you that all the younger generation are doing it as par for the course? Maybe people in theirteens and twenties just do this now (I'm 31) but I can't believe the amount of guys asking me to do this and getting the hump (oh stop!) when I say I don't want to.

When I did it before, it was ok. I was glad to have experienecd it but had no desire to do it again, a bit like an alright rom com in the cinema, passed the time but won't be going again.

This latest guy isn't being pushy at all, he just mentioned that he'd like to but said he totally gets if I don't. He's always wanted to try it and is really curious etc. I really like him so feel like I'll be disappointing him if I don't but I'm very nervous. Also,aside from pain, I remember it being... eh... messy.. and not at all sexy afterwards, if you catch my drift

zapper55 · 22-12-2018 08:13PM

Porklife I think you need to reread your last post. You are apprehensive about a particular sex act but are thinking of doing it anyways otherwise a guy you are seeing will be disappointed? Do you always put others needs before your own?

You are allowed have boundaries and have them respected. If you don't have anal sex and he walks away then he's an idiot. If you have anal sex be use you are genuinely curious and want to try it definitely do, but I'm not getting that impression from your post.

I know AH is not really for serious answers but you seem to have very little regard for yourself. Maybe subconsciously you are attracting guys that are looking for someone that is easily manipulated.

Look I'm only a few years older than you and I've dated a good few guys. Many guys have suggested different things but not once has a guy suggested something twice after me saying no the first time. You seem to have a very bad run of luck in dating. Maybe you need to take a break and work on yourself.

Porklife · 22-12-2018 08:28PM

zapper55 wrote: »

Porklife I think you need to reread your last post. You are apprehensive about a particular sex act but are thinking of doing it anyways otherwise a guy you are seeing will be disappointed? Do you always put others needs before your own?

You are allowed have boundaries and have them respected. If you don't have anal sex and he walks away then he's an idiot. If you have anal sex be use you are genuinely curious and want to try it definitely do, but I'm not getting that impression from your post.

I know AH is not really for serious answers but you seem to have very little regard for yourself. Maybe subconsciously you are attracting guys that are looking for someone that is easily manipulated.

Look I'm only a few years older than you and I've dated a good few guys. Many guys have suggested different things but not once has a guy suggested something twice after me saying no the first time. You seem to have a very bad run of luck in dating. Maybe you need to take a break and work on yourself.

I appreciate your post Zapper and can see where you're coming from but the reality is, I do value myself highly. I've been on dating apps the last few years and every single guy has asked for anal if we've reached the stage of sex. Every last one of them! I know I'm the common denominator but I'm talking about 20 - 30 guys here over the years, all from various walsk of life, all asking for the same thing. I think it's just commonplace now. I said no every time and didn't see these guys again. It put me off.

The difference with this recent guy is that I like him and I'm genuinely tempted/curious. I know he'd be gentle and respectful.. well as respectful as you can be shoving your d*ck up someones arse

i never do anything I don't feel comfortable with, be it sex or otherwise and while I admit I am nervous about this, i'm also intrigued. With the other guys it was a straight out No and a game changer.

I'm wondering now though if it changes the dynamic of things. I really feel like if we do this, he won't look at me the same way again. How can we do that then go and watch Game of Thrones and act all sweet like nothing happened? Like, pass me the salt please darling over dinner when you've just had anal sex!

neonsofa · 22-12-2018 08:31PM

Porklife wrote: »

I'm wondering now though if it changes the dynamic of things. I really feel like if we do this, he won't look at me the same way again. How can we do that then go and watch Game of Thrones and act all sweet like nothing happened? Like, pass me the salt please darling over dinner when you've just had anal sex!

I really don't see why you're viewing this different to any other sex act in that regard?

BENDYBINN · 22-12-2018 08:34PM

What age are you porklife?......you seem to be on the go along time.
Anal sex with ould ones is no fun believe me!

What's the craic (pun intended) with anal sex?

Comments