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Long termers TTC

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Comments

  • #3252
    CCCHIA
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭CCCHIA


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Update from me is yesterday woke up to wife screaming on the toilet as she was bleeding. Said she felt a cramp aswell. .

    Such scary times but thankfully it all looks good, I really have everything crossed for you and your wife. Fingers crossed this is a once off bleed xx


  • #3253
    bilbot79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,044 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    I'm afraid to say disaster has struck. Mrs Bilbot had terrible pain in her back and going down her front leg on Friday night. We went to A and e on Saturday hoping it was an adverse reaction to progeterone but ultrasound showed the baby with a little heartbeat had implanted in the tube, an ectopic pregnancy.

    The tube had to be removed altogether so now there is only one left. We can still have children with the other but imagine if there was another ectopic. It feels like it will be a miracle if this works out . Wife is now in hospital having developed a UTI in the operation.

    Im beyond bemoaning our bad luck now, it won't help us.


  • #3254
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Awh no, so sorry to hear that. It is so hard to stay positive when events like this happen. All I can say is hopefully it will make you stronger as a couple. Wishing Mrs Bilbot a speedy recovery, physically and emotionally.


  • #3255
    lashes34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 709 ✭✭✭lashes34


    Awh bilbot I'm devastated for ye. Wishing your wife a speedy recovery from the op but more so emotionally.


  • #3256
    CCCHIA
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭CCCHIA


    I'm so so sorry Bilbot, I wish your wife well in her recovery and I wish you well during this time xx


  • #3257
    babydream
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭babydream


    Bilbot Im so so so sorry to hear this awful news. Just make sure you both look after each other in all this.


  • #3258
    fits
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,645 ✭✭✭✭fits


    So sorry :(


  • #3259
    catrionanic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,091 ✭✭✭catrionanic


    My heart broke reading that. I am so so sorry. I hope she recovers quickly and you find the strength from each other to get through this.

    If it's any consolation at all, my own mother struggled with 8 years of infertility and also lost a tube after an ectopic pregnancy (her first pregnancy). She went on to have three healthy children in the seven years after that.

    Look after yourselves.


  • #3260
    brokensoul
    Registered Users Posts: 932 ✭✭✭brokensoul


    So sorry bilbot. I wish I had something more to offer.

    Huge hugs.


  • #3261
    LCD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,123 ✭✭✭LCD


    Really feel for you & your wife Bilbot. Is such a sh!t thing to happen to you guys.


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  • #3262
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,914 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    God Bilbot, how terrible.
    If it helps, I have a friend who had a tube removed and has successfully had 2 children. Fingers crossed for you. I hope you both take time to recover from this.


  • #3263
    Fingersandtoes
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭Fingersandtoes


    I wish I'd words to comfort you and take away all the anger and disappointment. It must be heart breaking. I've never been in that situation but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I hope medically your wife will be ok. I hope you both get some counselling to help come to terms with what has happened.
    Thinking of you both


  • #3264
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Has anyone here heard of or tried the Ava fertility tracker? Looks good but a bit expensive....cheaper than IVF though if successful.


  • #3265
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,927 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    I looked at it but it was tested for 24-35 day cycles and not tested for PCOS so that ruled me out.


  • #3266
    sunsetbeachfan
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭sunsetbeachfan


    I'm devastated for you Bilbot and Mrs Bilbot so sorry for your loss, wishing you all the best and speeding recovery from her op.


  • #3267
    Dinkie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,291 ✭✭✭Dinkie


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    I'm afraid to say disaster has struck. Mrs Bilbot had terrible pain in her back and going down her front leg on Friday night. We went to A and e on Saturday hoping it was an adverse reaction to progeterone but ultrasound showed the baby with a little heartbeat had implanted in the tube, an ectopic pregnancy.

    The tube had to be removed altogether so now there is only one left. We can still have children with the other but imagine if there was another ectopic. It feels like it will be a miracle if this works out . Wife is now in hospital having developed a UTI in the operation.

    Im beyond bemoaning our bad luck now, it won't help us.

    I'm so sorry to hear this bilbot. But it is extremely unlikely that you will have a second one.... although you will never stop worrying and panicing over it. Take of yourselves and give yourself time to heal. x


  • #3268
    sunsetbeachfan
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭sunsetbeachfan


    Toots wrote: »
    I looked at it but it was tested for 24-35 day cycles and not tested for PCOS so that ruled me out.

    I'm interested in it too but like yourself cycles really irregular hoping that will change I'll get a pattern going on Metformin


  • #3269
    bilbot79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,044 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Clear & Simple tests recalled for false positives


    https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/popular-brand-of-pregnancy-test-recalled-following-number-of-false-positives-37386027.html


  • #3270
    Fingersandtoes
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭Fingersandtoes


    https://m.independent.ie/life/family/fertility-and-you/intense-grief-after-failure-of-fertility-treatment-is-comparable-to-bereavement-new-research-37473334.html

    I thought this was a good article especially about the isolation and not being able to talk to anyone about how you really feel. The sentence about separating from friends who have children rang true to me. I'm lucky I've one child but I've distanced myself from friends who have a child roughly the same age as my child and a younger child.

    I think counseling should be compulsory if attending a fertility clinic.
    Hope everyone is well


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  • #3271
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Fingersandtoes wrote:
    I think counseling should be compulsory if attending a fertility clinic. Hope everyone is well


    To be honest, I think psychological support should be offered to any person suffering infertility fullstop.
    I know hopes are probably raised more while attending fertility clinics but people are dealing with it before it even gets to that stage so should be offered by GPs.

    On a separate note, does anyone remember when Varadkar announced the state supported IVF due to start in 2019? It seems like a dream as there has been no talk of it since. Is it still happening?


  • #3272
    babydream
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭babydream


    GaGa21 wrote: »
    To be honest, I think psychological support should be offered to any person suffering infertility fullstop.
    I know hopes are probably raised more while attending fertility clinics but people are dealing with it before it even gets to that stage so should be offered by GPs.

    On a separate note, does anyone remember when Varadkar announced the state supported IVF due to start in 2019? It seems like a dream as there has been no talk of it since. Is it still happening?

    I agree about support being offered, its a very lonely journey and there are times when you can see no light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly I am struggling more with this grief than I did when my Dad passed away a number of years ago!!

    I remember Simon Harris talking about the free IVF for couples and I called it when the Abortion referendum was passed that free IVF would not happen in January 2019. All available resources and money are going to be spent on abortion services.

    I have emailed Simon Harris seeking an update on this and ill post reply when (if) I get one.


  • #3273
    babydream
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭babydream


    Anyone ever use Puregon for Ovulation Induction??

    We have been given the prescription just waiting on AF now to start


  • #3274
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I think mine was Ovitrelle, but for some reason Puregon rings a bell with me.


  • #3275
    squigglyd
    Registered Users Posts: 34 ✭squigglyd


    babydream wrote: »
    Anyone ever use Puregon for Ovulation Induction??

    We have been given the prescription just waiting on AF now to start

    I've just used it on my last IVF, it was very easy to use the pen is handy. ETA: not sure if it's the same use for ovulation induction but I assume so.
    Neyite wrote: »
    I think mine was Ovitrelle, but for some reason Puregon rings a bell with me.
    Ovitrelle is the one-off trigger but Puregon is the FSH for the days leading up to that. At least that was the case for me.


  • #3276
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=74121756


    Yep, I remember now. I got as far as being prescribed it but never actually took it because two days later I got my BFP. But I did research it a bit though.


    A few years later I think it was just Ovitrelle I was on.


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  • #3277
    babydream
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭babydream


    squigglyd wrote: »
    I've just used it on my last IVF, it was very easy to use the pen is handy. ETA: not sure if it's the same use for ovulation induction but I assume so.


    Ovitrelle is the one-off trigger but Puregon is the FSH for the days leading up to that. At least that was the case for me.

    Did you have any side effects on it?? Clomid sent me crazy was snapping at everyone even managed to get myself a warning in work :o

    Consultant said that shouldn't happen on Puregon so fingers crossed.

    Was given Ovitrelle as a trigger shot also. I feel like this has all got very real all of a sudden, I no that sounds totally stupid


  • #3278
    CCCHIA
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭CCCHIA


    Puregon is a nice one to be on, pen is easy to use and needle is very fine. You can travel with the pen so you’re not stuck at home to be near your fridge meds. I was able to inject and lead a normal life.

    Didn’t have any side effects either. I used it for one IUI and two OI’s.

    You’ll be absolutely fine, it’s a daunting prospect but it’s very doable. Best of luck xx


  • #3279
    Rflwr88
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Rflwr88


    TTC for the last 2 yrs. I lost 6 stone and still no luck. At this point, I’m not sure where to go next. We just moved to Ireland so I think I’d have to start again with a new doctor in regards to fertility clinics etc


  • #3280
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    Trying not to overreact or overthink it but I had some very light spotting (small bit in the underwear and then a few times when I wiped but not all day - sorry if tmi) yesterday on cd 23 - 10 days post ovulation. Cycle length on average is 28 days thanks to metformin. Keeping everything crossed it’s not some anomaly this month in my cycle or another issue! Anyone had spotting and it turned out to be false?


  • #3281
    margo321
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 185 ✭✭margo321


    I had tried for 3 or 4 years. had all the tests xome back clear. failed iui. then had got pregnant naturally at 41. healthy baby thank god and now im 45 and pregnant. To be honest i felt
    the
    first few months feeling guilty being so old but am glad my child will have a sibling. So far all going well. Emotional time. good luck to all


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  • #3282
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Nerd Queen wrote:
    Keeping everything crossed it’s not some anomaly this month in my cycle or another issue! Anyone had spotting and it turned out to be false?


    I did this month. Was so disappointed as I really thought the 2 days of brown discharge was implantation as I've never really had it before. Turned out to be the start of my period with what was obviously(now) old blood.
    Turned 40 and starting to think now this is the start of being perimenopausal.
    Really hope it is good news for you.


  • #3283
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    GaGa21 wrote: »
    I did this month. Was so disappointed as I really thought the 2 days of brown discharge was implantation as I've never really had it before. Turned out to be the start of my period with what was obviously(now) old blood.
    Turned 40 and starting to think now this is the start of being perimenopausal.
    Really hope it is good news for you.

    Oh I’m sorry to hear that! I’m hoping cos it wasn’t too much and has completely disappeared we may be in luck! I do get spotting before my period but it’s continuous for a day then my period arrives. Hopefully! Would be lovely as December marks 3 years since we seriously started ttc


  • #3284
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Nerd Queen wrote:
    Oh I’m sorry to hear that! I’m hoping cos it wasn’t too much and has completely disappeared we may be in luck! I do get spotting before my period but it’s continuous for a day then my period arrives. Hopefully! Would be lovely as December marks 3 years since we seriously started ttc


    It will be such a special Christmas for you both. Fingers crossed x


  • #3285
    Cash_Q
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭Cash_Q


    margo321 wrote:
    I had tried for 3 or 4 years. had all the tests xome back clear. failed iui. then had got pregnant naturally at 41. healthy baby thank god and now im 45 and pregnant. To be honest i felt the first few months feeling guilty being so old but am glad my child will have a sibling. So far all going well. Emotional time. good luck to all


    Wow, that's a fantastic story and will give hope to many others no doubt, congratulations and best of luck with this pregnancy


  • #3286
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    And AF has shown up 3 days early to crush any hope. Ah well we stay going.


  • #3287
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Nerd Queen wrote:
    And AF has shown up 3 days early to crush any hope. Ah well we stay going.


    Sorry to hear that. It's terrible when we get our hopes up and I always feel worse at this time of year too.
    Good luck for this month x


  • #3288
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    GaGa21 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that. It's terrible when we get our hopes up and I always feel worse at this time of year too.
    Good luck for this month x

    Thanks! Hope your doing ok! I was realistic enough or tried to be so wasn't as bad as other months. Back to my consultant on Tuesday anyway probably to go on clomid or the like.


  • #3289
    babydream
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭babydream


    Nerd Queen wrote: »
    And AF has shown up 3 days early to crush any hope. Ah well we stay going.

    As sorry to hear Nerd Queen, its horrible every month every little symptom and your thinking wow could this be our month. Its a horrible feeling when AF shows up.


  • #3290
    fits
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,645 ✭✭✭✭fits


    Sorry to hear that nerd queen.

    The time I had spotting it was the day my period was due and it was unusually pink. I thought it was period but nope.


  • #3291
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    Thanks all. We’ll just have to go again next month. Getting very frustrated after 3 years so trying to focus on the positives right now!


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  • #3292
    catrionanic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,091 ✭✭✭catrionanic


    Nerd Queen wrote: »
    Thanks all. We’ll just have to go again next month. Getting very frustrated after 3 years so trying to focus on the positives right now!

    Totally understandable. At least you know you're seeing your consultant and will be doing something to hopefully help. I really hope the Clomid works for you.


  • #3293
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    Thanks guys! Had a really weird period for me so glad I’ll be in the consultants soon!


  • #3294
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    catrionanic wrote: »
    Totally understandable. At least you know you're seeing your consultant and will be doing something to hopefully help. I really hope the Clomid works for you.

    No Clomid for me - more wait and see for the next 3 months. Consultant seems confident - I'm less so. Lining looked a bit thin so back in 3 months to check that out. Starting acupuncture this weekend so let's hope something just clicks. Wishing everyone the best at this time of year with baby dust to all.


  • #3295
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Heard the good news of a long termer ttc got her positive recently. Puts it down to her new acupuncture, no sugar and no alcohol approach. Would love to be so disciplined. I've tried the acupuncture but didn't work for me...


  • #3296
    Nerd Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nerd Queen


    GaGa21 wrote: »
    Heard the good news of a long termer ttc got her positive recently. Puts it down to her new acupuncture, no sugar and no alcohol approach. Would love to be so disciplined. I've tried the acupuncture but didn't work for me...

    I've tried my best to cut back on alcohol and have mostly succedded - not a big drinker anyway. Just at this time of year its impossible to avoid - i could not drink and will do it at a number of events but sometimes you just need to let loose. As for sugar - I'm trying..... but damn its tough. Hoping the accupuncture will help. Thanks for the update though GaGa21 always good to hear. Sorry to hear the accupuncture didn't work for you.


  • #3297
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    Nerd Queen wrote:
    I've tried my best to cut back on alcohol and have mostly succedded - not a big drinker anyway. Just at this time of year its impossible to avoid - i could not drink and will do it at a number of events but sometimes you just need to let loose. As for sugar - I'm trying..... but damn its tough. Hoping the accupuncture will help. Thanks for the update though GaGa21 always good to hear. Sorry to hear the accupuncture didn't work for you.

    I could cut out the drink no problem....well maybe after Xmas! But the sugar is what I couldn't do. Have such a sweet tooth!
    Best of luck with the acupuncture, hope it does help.


  • #3298
    bilbot79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,044 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Hi folks.

    After 1 mc and 1 ectopic and God knows how many years ttc were thinking of taking Mrs out of the workplace to concentrate on health and stress relief etc. She's been developing unprecedented migraines and tension headaches and our situation just seems to get worse. It's a bold move and lots of money to be lost but we can make it work and TBH I don't want this to be the one thing we didn't try.

    What do you think? Is it overkill?


  • #3299
    GaGa21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 652 ✭✭✭GaGa21


    bilbot79 wrote:
    After 1 mc and 1 ectopic and God knows how many years ttc were thinking of taking Mrs out of the workplace to concentrate on health and stress relief etc. She's been developing unprecedented migraines and tension headaches and our situation just seems to get worse. It's a bold move and lots of money to be lost but we can make it work and TBH I don't want this to be the one thing we didn't try.

    I suppose there are pros and cons to it.
    Pros being well rested, focused on nutrition and exercise, time for ivf(if applicable), acupuncture and counselling appointments.
    Cons being TOO focused on ttc, higher stress levels if not successful, her mental health from feeling isolated. If it doesn't happen, will she even feel able to return to work afterwards and the financial implications that will incur.
    I personally wouldn't give it up altogether as I would need a focus/distraction other than ttc. What about keeping part time hours?


  • #3300
    bilbot79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,044 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    I hear you about the reduced hours but we we're thinking the reality would be a heavier workload with half the time.

    I feel like we're at the stage where extreme circumstances call for extreme measures


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  • #3301
    Fingersandtoes
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭Fingersandtoes


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Hi folks.

    After 1 mc and 1 ectopic and God knows how many years ttc were thinking of taking Mrs out of the workplace to concentrate on health and stress relief etc. She's been developing unprecedented migraines and tension headaches and our situation just seems to get worse. It's a bold move and lots of money to be lost but we can make it work and TBH I don't want this to be the one thing we didn't try.

    What do you think? Is it overkill?

    I understand where you are coming from. My penny's worth is to go for it. I completely understand what you mean when you say that you dont want it to be the one thing you didn't try.
    A few thoughts
    * Would it be a huge pressure on you as a male feeling you have to financially provide, do extra hours, take on extra roles for more pay?
    * Could Mrs. B get signed off sick leave, take a career break, leave of absence or something instead of giving her job up completely
    * Mentally, if it was me I'd find the days long at home. I'd have to much time to over think stuff. Could she join a library/ local group for stuff to do during the day like a walking group,book club, craft class anything at all to get out of the house?
    * I've had 5 IUIs and one IVF. I worked throughout the IUIs from first day of period to the dreaded result. I went sick from first day of my period with the IVF until after the awful result. All BFN but I did feel for myself being off work was much easier on my mental health.

    Have you both spoken to a GP about this, tryed acupuncture?
    Whatever you both decide stay strong and look after yourselves and your relationship together


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