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Long termers TTC

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  • 08-10-2013 8:56am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭


    After reading a few comments I thought it would be nice to start a thread for people who are TTC long term, I don't want to define what "longterm" is as we all have our own journeys ans what can be an eternity for one person can be shorter for another. So going to make a start.

    We are 2 years and 2 months TTC, we are waiting on tests (which happen in December) and I have just started acupuncture. There are days, like today, when I feel like opening my front door and screaming when will it be me?????


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Comments

  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I would define long-term as anything that is past the guidelines of when you should consult a GP, so that's after a year of unsuccessful TTC if you are under 35, 6 months if over 35.

    In addition, anyone who suffers recurrent miscarriages, or know they have pre-existing fertility issues before they start. Basically, anyone who is having difficulty outside what doctors would consider the norm really.

    We began TTC in summer 2009. After a year of nothing, we went for tests. Everything checked out except for a slight prolactin issue which was corrected by meds and told to give it another 6 months. We were diganosed as Unexplained Infertile.

    In summer 2011 we returned and began TSI with Clomid which I began on cycle 27. Successful with twins on cycle 29, exactly 2 years after we began trying. Lost a twin at 8 weeks, but had a textbook pregnancy for the remaining one and was delivered by EMCS in 2012.

    Two more MC losses on very quick conceptions since: (Jan 2013 @ 6weeks and Sept 2013 @ 8 weeks) I've now been referred to see why I'm miscarrying. I have literally just ended my last miscarriage.

    Ironic really. Had 2 years where I couldn't get pregnant, then my body figures out the conception bit and has it sussed, but now apparently I miscarry. :(

    I am very very lucky to have a child. I know that. But I'm drained from the last few years of trying and failing. But I'm going to get tested and see what happens from there.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Five years and counting. I read but avoid posting in the other thread as the newbies don't need to hear all about how long this can take. 18 months trying, then 3 iui's, a miscarriage, two further misses over a 14 month period. Took a break for 6 months, then into Napro. We went from unexplained to explained with endo, a septum and a fibroid, all of which have been removed, then 4 months of assisted conception, got my tubes unblocked again, and now 4 more months on assisted and no joy. We have 2 more goes then back to the drawing board. Ivf before the removal of my problems would have been a waste of time, now though it could be where we go in the new year.
    Fed up, disappointed and sometimes just plain heartbroken. :-(
    See like I said not what the newbies need to hear.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    barbiegirl wrote: »
    See like I said not what the newbies need to hear.

    That's a really good point Barbiegirl
    barbiegirl wrote: »
    Fed up, disappointed and sometimes just plain heartbroken. :-(

    I hear you, today, is one of those days where I wish I could just stay at home and cry all day. AF is due, I am an emotional wreck, I want to scream at my OH and at the same time cry on his shoulder.

    SCREW YOU AF and PMT!!!!!!!!! *deep breathes* steps away from the chocolate!


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,818 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Hang in there everyone. It's you against the statistics. The more times you try, the more likely you are to eventually end up as one of those successful couples.

    We were 6 years TTC, 5 of which were with 2 different IVF clinics, 2 chemical pregnancies (which gave us hope), 6 months of clomid, 3 fresh IVF cycles and 5 frozen IVF cycles before we eventually got lucky. We tried western medicine, natural medicine, religious medicine, no medicine, Chinese medicine, bitter medicine. My wife even underwent a type of blood transfusion during one IVF cycle to try and weaken a suspected overresponsive immune system.

    We've since had 2 more failed frozen cycles. I'd forgotten how emotionally tough it is to keep going, measuring time in months. If the monthly appearance of AF wasn't bad enough, the hormone coctail roller coaster during cycles was close to hell. And I wasn't the one taking them!

    It'll happen. Sometime all those little ducks will line up one behind the other and bam, you'll get a sticky one.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭orchidsrpretty


    Been nearly 4 years for us. 2 lap and dyes, hysteropy(sp), tubal surgery, and eventually tubal removal, countless prodding and poking, and a very empty bank account. If I had known how emotionally and finacially draining this business is,when we started I think I might not of continued. but when you reach a certain point, it feels impossible to give up and you just have to keep going.
    I had another ivf cycle fail two weeks ago. it was so hard and still is, I was sure it was going to work as everything was perfect. I did egg sharing and the receiptant got pregnant,, so I know its not an egg issue; just a me issue. will be going again in January, its such a difficult balance of trying to keep positive and being realistic.

    Neyite im so sorry to hear of your recent misscarraige. we all have to believe that one day it will happen for us.


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  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    So sorry to hear of your failed cycle Orchid. :(

    You are spot on when you say that you go so far into the process to quit. It's almost like a gambling addiction, you will probably lose the next hand dealt but youse compelled to play anyway because the next hand could be the big win even if it means emptying the last of your savings.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    At the start of every month I always say, this is a fresh start, this could be our month, by about day 24 I loose hope and wait for AF in anger!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    11 plus years and still no bundle. More M/Cs that I have fingers, at this stage have lost count. 3 stand out in my mind for different reasons. No reason showed up just years of getting fobbed of as "its just one of those things that can't be explained" Finally with the support of the TTC gang and one who helped more than anyone could ever know... you know who you are ;) I pushed to have all the tests redone and it showed up such a simple little thing. Now on meds and should be no reason not to go full term. We are 4 months back trying and no joy. I had always fell first month every other time. I had in my head this time that trying for 6 month would be lucky... crazy I know but as each month goes by I just want it to happen. Will be 41 in a couple of months so age is really not on my side. I really fear that it is never going to happen for us.

    I pretty much know we are out again this month as I had a tummy bug at the peak time and while we did the deed as soon as I was feeling able, I fear it was to late so that will make 5 months trying...

    Last weekend we had just come back from holidays, I of course was ill for some of the time away but happy families everywhere. Again went out for something to eat on Sunday and I swear it was all happy families again. F**K it, we have had 11 years of heartbreak so surely it should be our turn. My husbands birthday today and of course another year with no "happy birthday Daddy" card. We went out for breakfast and he said it totally breaks his heart. He would be such a amazing Dad.

    So glad we now have a long term TTC thread to vent.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    In a really ratty p***ed at the world kind of mood today. Would love to go home from work curl up on the sofa and cry. Then have a hot cup of tea and get on with life again. All this TTC is really wearing on the body and soul.
    As silly as it may sound I am really mad with myself for getting sick and missing peak time... maybe this would have been our month.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    Must be one of those days today, I am fighting back the tears all day, AF arrived and I just feel like crying, we got a positive OPK this month, we did the deed 5 times at what had to be the perfect timing. There was loads of EWCM, I even did the pillow under your bum, legs in the air, holding every last drop in for 30 minutes and we had some fun. I was away and relaxed and STILL nothing. So even when everything aligned we were still missing something FFS


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    stickybean wrote: »
    Must be one of those days today, I am fighting back the tears all day, AF arrived and I just feel like crying, we got a positive OPK this month, we did the deed 5 times at what had to be the perfect timing. There was loads of EWCM, I even did the pillow under your bum, legs in the air, holding every last drop in for 30 minutes and we had some fun. I was away and relaxed and STILL nothing. So even when everything aligned we were still missing something FFS

    It was 5 times over 8 days, just re-read that and made us sound like rabbits :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Caroline big hugs, your time is coming. I'm booked in for acupuncture and an angel card healing session tomorrow. Sounds mad but a little extra can't hurt.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    :)/

    3 years trying. Have had 2 miscarriages and one ectopic, which resulted in tube removal, and possibly ovary removal. I'm waiting on a scan to see if the ovary is still there, not that it makes much difference with no tube attached!! Took me a long, long time to recover both physically and mentally. Surgery was longer and messier than expected.

    The ectopic was in 2011 and we haven't had a sniff of pregnancy since. We recently started on the medical road. I am ovulating and the swimmers are swimming so we are waiting on an appointment to see what happens next :)

    Not too stressed at the moment, there are a lot of other things going on so that keeps my mind occupied :) I did about 20 sessions of fertility acupuncture in early 2012, super relaxing but obviously didn't help with pregnancy.

    EDIT!!

    I do have a very wonderful 11 year old :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 195 ✭✭TomeeTipee


    Hi Ladies,

    I've been a lucker here for a while. I hope you don't mind me posting in the long termers thread. I'm in a bit of a strange situation in that we have been trying to conceive for more than 3 years at this stage, but we are only just now starting medical investigations.

    My story is that when we first started trying, it took about 8 months to get pregnant and I had a miscarriage at close to 12 weeks. We tried again and it also took about 8 months for me to get pregnant and that time I had a late miscarriage at around 19 weeks. We've been trying again ever since and I haven't been able to get pregnant again.

    Since the last miscarriage, we've been trying for over a year with no luck so we are now being referred to a fertility specialist. So even though we're only starting on the journey in one way, at the same time we have also been trying for 3 years and we are still no closer to having a baby.

    From reading some of the stories on here, I'm starting to feel like I should have been more proactive earlier. I had no investigations done after my late miscarriage and nobody ever really spoke about that to me. Maybe that was because it was "only" my second, but with it being so late, I'm now wondering should I have had some tests done at the time.

    Anyway, I suppose that isn't really relevant now. Hopefully now that we will be seeing a fertility specialist, things will work out for us.

    Good luck to everyone else too!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    2WW time. Acupuncturist working on making me less scared of becoming and then losing another pregnancy, and truthfully feeling much better.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Acupuncture is great. Even if it just calms your mind, it's worth doing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    4 years, 7 months trying now. Had a laparoscopy in 2011 for Endometriosis, they also found and asperated 2 chocolate cysts. Had Cystectomy in 2012 where 3 cysts were removed, had a dye test done and tubes are fine, no blockages. Semen analysis came back fine. Have been on Chlomid more times that I can even remember, ovulated with chlomid, didn't without it.

    Lately I went to Galway University hospital where they want to repeat the dye test to make sure my tubes were not damaged during the last surgery, they also want to repeat semen analysis as it was 2011 when the last test was carried out and they want to repeat bloods without chlomid, I feel this is very repetitive and I'm not even sure it is necessary, what do you guys think? I'm completely worn out at this stage and fed up as I don't know what path to take next.

    My local pharmacist recommended using glucophaze in addition to chlomid, she said they have heard the successes from this, anyone have any luck with this?

    Anyone else think the repetition of tests is necessary? If I don't do them where will that leave me?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Unfortunately things change over time and it could be worth redoing the tests. Have you done IUI or IVF?


  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    No none of those yet, my dr so far has told me that he sees no reason why I can't get pregnant on my own. The endo and cysts were removed, my tubes are clear, partner is ok and I ovulated with chlomid, also have regular cycles, well 27 days. If I go down the IVF route I will need time to save, any idea what IUI costs, was thinking of trying that next year if nothing happens?

    My Endo is probably in the process of returning also, they say you get 2-4 years free of it, so far I've had none for 2 years (thankfully) but I may need another surgery in the forseeable future, had AMH testing done so I'll have to contact them for the results


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    Girls I was thinking of ringing the Merrion and seeing if there is any cancellations. I am due to go in December (I have been waiting since June - we are going public). I am going for a lap and dye, D&C, laparoscopy and hysteroscopy.

    I am so stressed out about them I think it is making me worse, I am so stressed and upset.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    No none of those yet, my dr so far has told me that he sees no reason why I can't get pregnant on my own. The endo and cysts were removed, my tubes are clear, partner is ok and I ovulated with chlomid, also have regular cycles, well 27 days. If I go down the IVF route I will need time to save, any idea what IUI costs, was thinking of trying that next year if nothing happens?

    My Endo is probably in the process of returning also, they say you get 2-4 years free of it, so far I've had none for 2 years (thankfully) but I may need another surgery in the forseeable future, had AMH testing done so I'll have to contact them for the results

    IUI cost us through the Merrion about €450 on tests, then €550 per go, so not too bad. Unfortunately sometimes there is no reason you just need help.
    stickybean wrote: »
    Girls I was thinking of ringing the Merrion and seeing if there is any cancellations. I am due to go in December (I have been waiting since June - we are going public). I am going for a lap and dye, D&C, laparoscopy and hysteroscopy.

    I am so stressed out about them I think it is making me worse, I am so stressed and upset.
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give it a go. I had all of that last year and I recovered very quickly, you will be fine.


  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    I went public for laparoscopy, it was grand, I was like you very nervous and stressed as I had never even had stitches before but it was fine, had dye test too while I was under and that was fine. I wouldn't get too upset about it, it's all for the best and once your healed you will feel so much better in yourself

    Barbiegirl Did you have any luck with IUI?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    I think it is just the waiting, my acupuncturist said I am way to stressed to get pregnant, most of the time I am fine but them it pops into my head and I start panicking, what if they don't find anything? We are already into our second year of no answers, then what if they do?

    Oh God, I am stressing myself out even now. Just wish like all of us I guess that we had an answer :)


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    IUI in Galway costs €600 per cycle all in. Not sure about other tests but they were happy for bloods to be done in the GP by the nurse so it was only €30.

    I didn't actually get IUI but it was my next step if TSI with clomid didn't work, which it did on the last month.


  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    I feel exactly the same, I'm fine once I don't think about it (which is very seldom), my dr keeps telling me to stop thinking about it but that is a very hard thing to do. Sometimes I think it may never happen and thats when I am sick to my stomach, what if it never does. I know that's very negatvie...

    I've mever tried acupuncture, maybe I should? Some people recommended reflexology, haven't tried it yet but maybe I should.

    It's all about going through the processes and getting all the tests done, it's frustrating but it's better to have them done, then you can start ruling things out


  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    Neyite wrote: »
    IUI in Galway costs €600 per cycle all in. Not sure about other tests but they were happy for bloods to be done in the GP by the nurse so it was only €30.

    I didn't actually get IUI but it was my next step if TSI with clomid didn't work, which it did on the last month.

    Would the IUI have been carried out in Galway Clinic or where?? What's TSI ?


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Would the IUI have been carried out in Galway Clinic or where?? What's TSI ?

    It would have been in Galway fertility clinic, not Galway Clinic, though GC is the clinic that has Dr. Boyle doing NAPRO.

    TSI is timed sexual intercourse. Basically clomid and scans then a trigger shot to ovulate and sent home to have sex within a specified time frame. Cost was €300 per cycle and I got lucky on our third and last cycle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Barbiegirl Did you have any luck with IUI?

    Our third cycle worked but we lost. As a result of lap etc last year we discovered we had endo, a cyst and a septum, all now removed and with Napro for TSI, only this and next cycle left then we'll see what else is on the cards for us.


  • Registered Users Posts: 191 ✭✭mauraf


    Hi all TTC,

    I too, have been in your position - albeit not for as long as some of you - but...
    I am blessed to have a now, 5.5 year old daughter - she 'happened' without really trying and we were sure, the next time would be as easy...It wasnt...
    I was 35 when I had my little girl - and kinda knew time was ticking....after 2 years of trying after my daughter - I went back to my consultant....checked bloods etc etc and put me on clomid (nothing essentially 'wrong'). The following day I found out I was pregnant, but I miscarried at 13 weeks - horrific - I would wish that on no-one.
    My sis in law encouraged me to go to a reflexologist (and one who specialises in fertility issues) - I was extremely reluctant at first - only my sis in law paid for the session so I said I would go. This was about 4 weeks after my mis, and I was in a very very bad place. I left the reflexologist on a high - she gave me hope, and brought back the fight I had in me to keep going. Three months later (I went every week), I was pregnant again, and I now have a 2 year old son - only for this lady - I know he would not be here!
    I would highly highly recommend her - I have sent 3 friends all having trouble conceiving to her - all now have bundles of joy...
    I can PM any of you her details if you wish - she is based in Kildare...

    Keep trying - there is hope!
    Maura


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  • Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    That sounds good, haven't tried that, maybe thats my next thing to do! Thanks for your response!


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