Sisters wanting sites

Pixel Eater · 23-10-2018 04:43PM

lakill Farm wrote: »

Was the countryside not a lot more populated years ago compared to now?

Where my dad is from , the 4 houses over 1 mile has something like 43 kids between them. Same 4 houses next generation had zero offspring .

Well I can't speak of that particular stretch of road but there has been a massive proliferation of one-off houses over the last 15-20 years and Ireland would have one of the highest percentages of rural dwellers in Europe.

P.s 43 children in 4 houses?! Jaysus.

Coolfresian · 23-10-2018 04:48PM

Pixel Eater wrote: »

Maybe there would be a post office, doctor and generally more shops and services if more people actually lived there rather than being scattered all over the countryside in one-off houses.

Exactly my point. Waste management and treatment, water schemes, broadband etc, all services made efficiently and rejuvenate villages and many towns. Despite what ppl claim, one off housing in a field does nothing to bring services to an area

K.G. · 23-10-2018 05:00PM

id like to welcome the recent avid posters on this farming thread and look foward to yer contributions in relation to farming matters in the futureðŸ€”

23-10-2018 05:15PM

This thread has prompted me that I should have a conversation with my dad and sisters.

I have taken a site and expect to inherit the rest when the time comes.
One sister has expressly said she wants a site at some point but nothing has been done (as far as I know) about it.

Now is probably the time to discuss it while my father is still fit and able.

It came up at a very high level in the past when my other sister expressed an interest in building on the site I eventually built on. The problem is that while we have lots of road frontage most of it isn't feasible or desirable.

Panch18 · 23-10-2018 05:17PM

I keep seeing that the husband is selfish and greedy because he feels he’s entitled to the farm

Yet people totally fail to recognise that the sisters are being greedy by refusing the offer of money instead of a site - that’s where the greed is

A couple of things I would note for the original poster
1) the majority of people who posted here are living in a la la land where everything is rosy and everybody is so loving and caring of their siblings. The reality is that none of these people are living with their siblings on their doorstep 24-7 and have absolutely no idea of the problems it can bring
2) it seems clear to me that if all 3 sisters are suddenly looking for a site that they have had a little get together to make a plan, be very careful it’s only the sites they are looking for
3)if your husband have any doubts whatsoever about the sisters husbands, which you seemed to have previously, then your husband needs to make sure that they don’t get a site. I have seen it many times where a person marries into a farm, usually not from a farming background, and creates all kinds of hastle and trouble for the farm. And remember this trouble is then on your doorstep 24-7
4) even if the sisters and husbands are all great what are the chances of all 3 staying there forever. Chances are 1, or more, of the houses will be sold in time, again this can be a major pain in the ass and cause plenty of trouble for you in the future

Mooooo · 23-10-2018 05:18PM

TheBoyConor wrote: »

And that's what cause the famine. The country was overpopulated. On our farm there were at least 2 other houses pre-famine that I know of where no trace remains. My father found a few skeletons when removing a ditch that were determined to be from famine times.

Rural over population now would be far, far more damaging than back in those days because back then they were born, raised, lived in destitute misery, starved, married and died within the same square mile. Nowadays it's all McMansions, SUVs, ferrying spoilt little brats of children to endless "activities" and so on. Completely unsustainable.

Anyway, on my family farm I don't know what will happen. My sister is already sorted having taken on an out farm. One brother is interested in farming but cannot do so as he emigrated, married a foreigner and is childered over there. Other brother has 0 interest in actual farming, as do I. I see one of three outcomes :
1. Farm is left between us leased out and we split the rent.
2. it's left between us and the favourite brother buys us out and either leases it out.
3. farm is sold and proceeds are split 3 ways.

In all of the above, someone might have their share covered by holding on to the house.

The chances of someone actually taking it over to run a farm are slim to none. It's been leased already for 15 years and has been de-asseted in terms of facilities and equipment and farming knowledge and it would be financially impossible (let alone make any economic sense) to re-establish the enterprise. Plus we all have good jobs and see no attraction in breaking our holes in the rain and muck for less than minimum wage.

Many people forget option 4, rare as it may be. Parents, ie current owners, sell the lot and enjoy the proceeds in their retirement

Panch18 · 23-10-2018 05:24PM

One thing that should jump out to the farmers on this thread is just how far farming has fallen behind the rest of society in the last 20 years.

In the 80 or 90’s if you gave a kid a college education you gave them a massive head start in life, they could get a good job and be better off than most going forward. Or at least they started from a good position

Nowadays every jackass is going to college so instead of setting the other kids up for life as it used to, now it’s just the bare minimum that you have to give them.

The thing is that I would say most farmers would struggle to 3rd level educate all of their kids nowadays, the income just isn’t there, despite the fact that families are smaller nowadays

Farming is finished

memorystick · 23-10-2018 05:37PM

In most cases, families are better living apart if they want to get on. Distance is good.

Martina1991 · 23-10-2018 05:45PM

Eric Cartman wrote:

Now not making assumptions in this case , but usually the son would have worked the farm all his life while the daughters went off to college / pursued careers outside the farm, its a mix of tradition and probably sexism on behalf of the parents not involving the daughters in the family farm, not too fair but were it the case that I was the sibling who stayed at home and tended the farm all my life , siblings who had never done a tap demanding land would piss me off.

^ ^ ^ ^
This resonated big time with me.

My father has 4 older sisters. When my granny was pregnant with my dad she prayed and prayed and prayed to St. Martin for a boy to pass on the farm to.

My father was indeed a boy, christened Martin, and inherited the farm.

They then had another boy just to be sure!

I'm the oldest child now but the land will go to my younger brother (whether he wants it or not).
My sister and I have always been told we can buy a site off them if we want.

Alrigghtythen · 23-10-2018 06:08PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

^ ^ ^ ^
This resonated big time with me.

My father has 4 older sisters. When my granny was pregnant with my dad she prayed and prayed and prayed to St. Martin for a boy to pass on the farm to.

My father was indeed a boy, christened Martin, and inherited the farm.

They then had another boy just to be sure!

I'm the oldest child now but the land will go to my younger brother (whether he wants it or not).
My sister and I have always been told we can buy a site off them if we want.

Who's telling you you can buy a site off your younger brother if you want? Your parents?

What if your younger brother won't sell you a site?

Martina1991 · 23-10-2018 06:14PM

Alrigghtythen wrote:

Who's telling you you can buy a site off your younger brother if you want? Your parents?

What if your younger brother won't sell you a site?

Well my parents are still alive and kicking. If i wanted a site they would be the ones to give it to me.

My brother is also sound.

alps · 23-10-2018 06:18PM

I have found this thread to be the most disturbing thread I've come across to date on boards.....genuinely not feeling well from some of what is written above...

liam7831 · 23-10-2018 06:19PM

alps wrote:

I have found this thread to be the most disturbing thread I've come across to date on boards.....genuinely not feeling well from some of what is written above...

Get off the stage

Alrigghtythen · 23-10-2018 06:20PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

Well my parents are still alive and kicking. If i wanted a site they would be the ones to give it to me.

My brother is also sound.

Then why are they telling you to buy it off your younger brother if they are the ones that will be giving it to you?

Martina1991 · 23-10-2018 06:26PM

Alrigghtythen wrote:

Then why are they telling you to buy it off your younger brother if they are the ones that will be giving it to you?

They're not telling me to do anything.
This is *if* anything happens to them and down the line i wanted a site.

Its irrelevant anyway as i live in another county.

Alrigghtythen · 23-10-2018 06:35PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

They're not telling me to do anything.
This is *if* anything happens to them and down the line i wanted a site.

Its irrelevant anyway as i live in another county.

Yes I get it is when your parents have retired and have handed over the farm to your younger brother.

He will then be the owner of the land.

You must consider then you might want a site and your younger brother may not want to sell you a site.

flatty · 23-10-2018 06:43PM

alps wrote: »

I have found this thread to be the most disturbing thread I've come across to date on boards.....genuinely not feeling well from some of what is written above...

It's sad and funny in equal turns.

Gael23 · 23-10-2018 06:45PM

They are getting an acre, he’s getting 197 acres.
Things like this destroy families OP,. I don’t think they are asking for much.

Alrigghtythen · 23-10-2018 06:45PM

If the site is being sold to a sibling from the farm, should it be sold at agricultural or site value(if selling on condition of pp granted)?

Buford T. Justice XIX · 23-10-2018 06:53PM

liam7831 wrote: »

Get off the stage

Mod note: Easy now, that's not the way we discuss things here. Remain civil or don't post at all.

And that's a heads-up for everybody posting here, we have a very low tolerance for attacking the poster here.

Buford T. Justice.

Lady Haywire · 23-10-2018 07:02PM

alps wrote: »

I have found this thread to be the most disturbing thread I've come across to date on boards.....genuinely not feeling well from some of what is written above...

At least you're not a ploughed field

:pac:

Stratvs · 23-10-2018 07:07PM

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

If the site is being sold to a sibling from the farm, should it be sold at agricultural or site value(if selling on condition of pp granted)?

If PP is a condition then presumably it's not being sold as agricultural land but as development land.

lakill Farm · 23-10-2018 07:21PM

My dad is in his late 50s. Not 150

TheBoyConor wrote: »

And that's what cause the famine. The country was overpopulated. On our farm there were at least 2 other houses pre-famine that I know of where no trace remains. My father found a few skeletons when removing a ditch that were determined to be from famine times.

Rural over population now would be far, far more damaging than back in those days because back then they were born, raised, lived in destitute misery, starved, married and died within the same square mile. Nowadays it's all McMansions, SUVs, ferrying spoilt little brats of children to endless "activities" and so on. Completely unsustainable.

Anyway, on my family farm I don't know what will happen. My sister is already sorted having taken on an out farm. One brother is interested in farming but cannot do so as he emigrated, married a foreigner and is childered over there. Other brother has 0 interest in actual farming, as do I. I see one of three outcomes :
1. Farm is left between us leased out and we split the rent.
2. it's left between us and the favourite brother buys us out and either leases it out.
3. farm is sold and proceeds are split 3 ways.

In all of the above, someone might have their share covered by holding on to the house.

The chances of someone actually taking it over to run a farm are slim to none. It's been leased already for 15 years and has been de-asseted in terms of facilities and equipment and farming knowledge and it would be financially impossible (let alone make any economic sense) to re-establish the enterprise. Plus we all have good jobs and see no attraction in breaking our holes in the rain and muck for less than minimum wage.

Nekarsulm · 23-10-2018 08:22PM

Pixel Eater wrote: »

Maybe there would be a post office, doctor and generally more shops and services if more people actually lived there rather than being scattered all over the countryside in one-off houses.

But Post Offices etc are not located in towns for the sole use of town dwellers.
You are using An Posts argument now.
Our local PO is to be closed, An Post claim its uneconomical because there are 'only" 46 houses left in the town.
But there are several hundred households scattered across 30 square miles that the PO serves.
And why do you think that rural dwellers don't use a shop or a doctor?

And to reply to another poster, who claims that all the one off houses and the lifestyle associated whit them is unsustainable, its sustainable untill oil runs out.
When that happens, living in a town won't be any better than living on an acre in the countryside.
The trucks bringing food to the shops wont be running for anyone.

Birdnuts · 23-10-2018 08:31PM

I miss the old days myself;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

Ginger83 · 23-10-2018 09:15PM

Ah land.......the biggest cause of all feuds.

I met my wife 15yrs ago. She wanted to build on the family land so we asked her parents for a site. They said no. We offered to buy it. They said no. The land is being kept for the oldest son. My wife was very upset over it.

We moved to another county and don't speak to them. Its been 7yrs now with no contact, we're married now and they were not invited, we have kids they've never met and a beautiful home they've never set foot in. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness a few yrs ago, they are not involved and will be informed on the day of my funeral that they are not welcome at it.

They have their land, i hope it keeps them happy. It cost them a daughter, son in law and grandkids.

OP if your husbands decides to let greed get the better of him, one day he'll stand in a lonely field and realise....it was a poxy bit of grass.

Wildly Boaring · 23-10-2018 09:21PM

Ginger83 wrote: »

Ah land.......the biggest cause of all feuds.

I met my wife 15yrs ago. She wanted to build on the family land so we asked her parents for a site. They said no. We offered to buy it. They said no. The land is being kept for the oldest son. My wife was very upset over it.

We moved to another county and don't speak to them. Its been 7yrs now with no contact, we're married now and they were not invited, we have kids they've never met and a beautiful home they've never set foot in. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness a few yrs ago, they are not involved and will be informed on the day of my funeral that they are not welcome at it.

They have their land, i hope it keeps them happy. It cost them a daughter, son in law and grandkids.

OP if your husbands decides to let greed get the better of him, one day he'll stand in a lonely field and realise....it was a poxy bit of grass.

Jasus.
Ok I'm with you. And would have expected a site myself in her position.

But

It was a poxy bit of grass......

Could you not have got over it?

Ginger83 · 23-10-2018 09:28PM

Wildly Boaring wrote: »

Jasus.
Ok I'm with you. And would have expected a site myself in her position.

But

It was a poxy bit of grass......

Could you not have got over it?

As a parent now myself i believe all children are equal.

mf240 · 23-10-2018 09:31PM

You'd think parents would be glad to have there family living nearby if it was possible.

Plenty of women are farming now and not just because they have no brothers but because they were interested in it.

Sure I think women are allowed to vote in some countries

Wildly Boaring · 23-10-2018 09:32PM

Ginger83 wrote: »

As a parent now myself i believe all children are equal.

As do I. As per my post I'm on your side regarding the site.

Just wondering could you not bury the hatchet? Takes one side to be the bigger man as such

Sisters wanting sites

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