Sisters wanting sites

facehugger99

qwerty ui op wrote: »

Supposing a guy has successfully trained as a plumber and his father has a plumping business.... do you think it's wrong of him to expect a job from the oldman?

"expect a job"?

Yes, that would be utterly wrong.

I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't make my own way in the world as a fully grown adult and was still expecting my parents to do it all for me.

John_Rambo

Ginger83 wrote: »

Ah land.......the biggest cause of all feuds.

I met my wife 15yrs ago. She wanted to build on the family land so we asked her parents for a site. They said no. We offered to buy it. They said no. The land is being kept for the oldest son. My wife was very upset over it.

We moved to another county and don't speak to them. Its been 7yrs now with no contact, we're married now and they were not invited, we have kids they've never met and a beautiful home they've never set foot in. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness a few yrs ago, they are not involved and will be informed on the day of my funeral that they are not welcome at it.

They have their land, i hope it keeps them happy. It cost them a daughter, son in law and grandkids.

OP if your husbands decides to let greed get the better of him, one day he'll stand in a lonely field and realise....it was a poxy bit of grass.

Jesus christ. I don't know who's worse. Both parties entrenched, heels dug in, smug in their own self righteousness.

Meanwhile the next generation... (kids) deprived of their own extended family.

All over land.

Alrigghtythen

Cattlepen wrote: »

You said farmers should be “made” live in the current farmhouse

So siblings shouldn't get sites because one off housing is bad and them looking for a site is greedy. But if the farmer can't build a one off house he will kill his parents who gave him everything he has.

That's interesting logic

Ginger83

John_Rambo wrote: »

Jesus christ. I don't know who's worse. Both parties entrenched, heels dug in, smug in their own self righteousness.

Meanwhile the next generation... (kids) deprived of their own extended family.

All over land.

All over a bit of grass.

John_Rambo

Ginger83 wrote: »

All over a bit of grass.

You should build a bridge for you're own kids sake. It's a bit of grass as you say.

JustJoe7240

Ginger83 wrote: »

Ah land.......the biggest cause of all feuds.

I met my wife 15yrs ago. She wanted to build on the family land so we asked her parents for a site. They said no. We offered to buy it. They said no. The land is being kept for the oldest son. My wife was very upset over it.

We moved to another county and don't speak to them. Its been 7yrs now with no contact, we're married now and they were not invited, we have kids they've never met and a beautiful home they've never set foot in. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness a few yrs ago, they are not involved and will be informed on the day of my funeral that they are not welcome at it.

They have their land, i hope it keeps them happy. It cost them a daughter, son in law and grandkids.

OP if your husbands decides to let greed get the better of him, one day he'll stand in a lonely field and realise....it was a poxy bit of grass.

Surely you realise the hypocrisy?

Alrigghtythen

Maybe his wife is better off without them. She'll probably be roped in to caring for them and the husband to do DIY about the place.

How much grass would you reject your child for? a bale

Cattlepen

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

So siblings shouldn't get sites because one off housing is bad and them looking for a site is greedy. But if the farmer can't build a one off house he will kill his parents who gave him everything he has.

That's interesting logic

I was been sarcastic. I think most people would realise that.Maybe I shouldn’t be.i don’t support euthanasia.
It was a fairly blanket statement you made about farmers been made live in the original farmhouse. You can’t just “make”people do that. Various reasons why would be parents want to stay living in house,divorce, farm being split between siblings etc. you would have them all living under the one roof. That would be some craic. It would be like an episode of eastenders

Alrigghtythen

Cattlepen wrote: »

I was been sarcastic. I think most people would realise that.Maybe I shouldn’t be.i don’t support euthanasia.
It was a fairly blanket statement you made about farmers been made live in the original farmhouse. You can’t just “make”people do that. Various reasons why would be parents want to stay living in house,divorce, farm being split between siblings etc. you would have them all living under the one roof. That would be some craic. It would be like an episode of eastenders

There are other options

https://www.independent.ie/business/farming/schemes/older-farmers-need-to-be-incentivised-to-retire-36337102.html

Dr John McNamara, a farm safety and health specialist with Teagasc, compared farming in Ireland to that in Scandinavian countries where farmers retire between the age of 55 and 60 and often move away from the farm.

Cattlepen

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

There are other options

https://www.independent.ie/business/farming/schemes/older-farmers-need-to-be-incentivised-to-retire-36337102.html

Dr John McNamara, a farm safety and health specialist with Teagasc, compared farming in Ireland to that in Scandinavian countries where farmers retire between the age of 55 and 60 and often move away from the farm.

Your 100% right.....that there are options. If they want to move away fine. If they don’t they should be allowed stay where they are. Not “made” move out. Same way whoever is farming shouldn’t be “made” live in the original farmhouse.thats forcing not giving options

handlemaster

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

Tell that cat to chill he wont bring any of it with him.

TheBoyConor

"She'll be alright, boy. Let her be. She's learned the lesson of the land!"

"Sure if we could keep the women happy we'd still be in paradise."

Turbohymac

Jesus if hes inheriting 200 acres and he has to give 3 away to his sisters I think that is a very reasonable request.. imagine if they wanted him to purchase 3 sites away from the farm at 60 to 80k each I bet he'd moan a lot more.. blood is thicker than water and falling out with his sisters and probably parents would be fair stupid.. tighter than a ducks arse comes to mind here.. he should be fair grateful for the large inheritance he has received instead hes probably valuing the land as 3 acres. .....3 sites ×80k. 240k. If those sisters weren't around I'd sell them meself an net the 240. Possibly..then buy myself some fancy machines... theres no luck with his whinging mentality ..tell him to look after his family and things will be better in the longterm

J.O. Farmer

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

There are other options

https://www.independent.ie/business/farming/schemes/older-farmers-need-to-be-incentivised-to-retire-36337102.html

Dr John McNamara, a farm safety and health specialist with Teagasc, compared farming in Ireland to that in Scandinavian countries where farmers retire between the age of 55 and 60 and often move away from the farm.

This sounds like the make all the "empty nesters" move out so the next generation can live in Dublin or wherever else there's a housing shortage and people with spare bedrooms.

Farmers and their partners don't spend all their time and money on the farm. They also tend to spend years getting their home the way they want it.
They shouldn't be made move away because someone who prefers to live in an urban area thinks everyone else should too.

malinheader

6 foot is all we need in the end.

Alrigghtythen

J.O. Farmer wrote: »

This sounds like the make all the "empty nesters" move out so the next generation can live in Dublin or wherever else there's a housing shortage and people with spare bedrooms.

Farmers and their partners don't spend all their time and money on the farm. They also tend to spend years getting their home the way they want it.
They shouldn't be made move away because someone who prefers to live in an urban area thinks everyone else should too.

They're not being made to move, they stay in the original farmhouse

TheBoyConor

Alrigghtythen wrote:

Dr John McNamara, a farm safety and health specialist with Teagasc, compared farming in Ireland to that in Scandinavian countries where farmers retire between the age of 55 and 60 and often move away from the farm.

Move away? Move away?
Jaysus, you're as foreign around here as any Scandinavian!

Cattlepen

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

The parents can move to the village/town. Bus services, doctors etc within walking distance.

Did you forget saying this

Alrigghtythen

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Move away? Move away?
Jaysus, you're as foreign around here as any Scandinavian!

There'd be no one to help fix a gap in the fence and herd back the cattle that broke out.

Alrigghtythen

Cattlepen wrote: »

Did you forget saying this

I don't understand what you mean. No, I don't forget saying that. Services, transport etc are all in the town. If limiting one off housing is the aim and centralising services, it makes sense.



If that's not the aim, what's the issue with giving the other children a piece of grass?

Cattlepen

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

I don't understand what you mean. No, I don't forget saying that. Services, transport etc are all in the town. If limiting one off housing is the aim and centralising services, it makes sense.



If that's not the aim, what's the issue with giving the other children a piece of grass?

I don’t have an issue with giving anyone the land but I do have an issue with your view about limiting one off housing. Answer me this, if the parents don’t want to move to town do they have to live with whoever the “farmer” is in the original farmhouse in your plan?

Addle

The parents should have this all talked about upfront before going to a solicitor to finalise matters. The sites should be going from parents to daughters rather than from brother to sisters.

Alrigghtythen

Cattlepen wrote: »

I don’t have an issue with giving anyone the land but I do have an issue with your view about limiting one off housing. Answer me this, if the parents don’t want to move to town do they have to live with whoever the “farmer” is in the original farmhouse in your plan?

The farmer can live elsewhere if he chooses. He just can't build a new house.

Martina1991

Addle wrote:

The parents should have this all talked about upfront before going to a solicitor to finalise matters. The sites should be going from parents to daughters rather than from brother to sisters.

Exactly. It should be put into a will.

Cattlepen

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

The farmer can live elsewhere if he chooses. He just can't build a new house.

Very totalitarian of you. Good luck with that🙄

Addle

Martina1991 wrote: »

Exactly. It should be put into a will.

No, it should be sorted long before someone dies.

Martina1991

Addle wrote:

No, it should be sorted long before someone dies.

Yeah sorted in a will that can't be disputed by word of mouth between squabbling siblings.

Ginger83

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

Surely you realise the hypocrisy?

You mean rejection.

Dunedin

Jayus the weather is holding up mighty. At this rate it should go a long way to softening the feed shortages over the winter. I have all weaned and on f few pound of meal and they’re happy as Larry. Cows will condition nicely too now that they’re dried off.

Reckon it’ll be mid November at the earliest before stock will see sheds at this rate. Please God anyways.

Have a bit slurry to get out before the deadline. Does anyone know What’s the deadline on the FYM by the way?

Will take soil samples in the next few weeks too and peg out a bit of lime too if needed.

Not much of a rise in the factories though
.......

bosallagh88

kingdom fan wrote: »

littelady wrote: »

As I said there will be no family fall out over the sites.

We can't tell the future.
All it needs is a bad odour from slurry. Some kids nose out of joint cause he wasn't let on d tractor. Etc etc. For a feud to start.
I have seen it happen

Very gd point here especially when there is three different families involved I’d be very inclined to help them buy sites elsewhere but if this isn’t possible can these sites be located as far from the main yard as possible or beside fields only used for silage?