Sisters wanting sites

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:04pm #1

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:05pm

BTW 2 out of the 3 would have local needs.

Jack Moore · 22-10-2018 7:06pm

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

Well if it’s the family farm shouldn’t family be housed in it ?

22-10-2018 7:07pm

littelady wrote: »

BTW 2 out of the 3 would have local needs.

How big is the farm? Half an acre each will cover three sites.

rovertom · 22-10-2018 7:08pm

Well if he is taking over the farm without paying for it, he is inheriting far in excess of what the sisters are looking for I'd imagine.

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:12pm

They are looking for an acre each. Farm has about 200 acres

The J Stands for Jay · 22-10-2018 7:14pm

littelady wrote: »

They are looking for an acre each. Farm has about 200 acres

Let them have the 1/2% and be happy with the 98.5% he's getting.

Markcheese · 22-10-2018 7:18pm

Families are complicated... But especially for those with local need, is they're right any less than your husbands?
If it makes your husband that mad, he doesn't have to accept the farm at all !!

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:30pm

Are any of ye farmers...because I know this comes up allot and the men are always pissed off with handing over sites to the girls.

Jack Moore · 22-10-2018 7:32pm

littelady wrote: »

Are any of ye farmers...because I know this comes up allot and the men are always pissed off with handing over sites to the girls.

My grandad was but he gave the farm the the eldest son
He sold.

Eric Cartman · 22-10-2018 7:35pm

OSI wrote: »

So having a dick magically grants him 197x as much land as his sister's?

Now not making assumptions in this case , but usually the son would have worked the farm all his life while the daughters went off to college / pursued careers outside the farm, its a mix of tradition and probably sexism on behalf of the parents not involving the daughters in the family farm, not too fair but were it the case that I was the sibling who stayed at home and tended the farm all my life , siblings who had never done a tap demanding land would piss me off.

Mooooo · 22-10-2018 7:37pm

Husbands family need to sit down and talk. Parents sisters the lot. Whatever the children want is second fiddle to what the parents want as it's their asset at the end of the day. Would always try to help family out here as much as possible. If parents want to give them sites so be it, stay on good terms and try to find ones that are suitable for them and the farm.

dh1985 · 22-10-2018 7:37pm

littelady wrote: »

Are any of ye farmers...because I know this comes up allot and the men are always pissed off with handing over sites to the girls.

Maybe in some places but not always. Ask your husband is it worth the hassle of an argument that could end with him been isolated from the rest of his siblings for a couple of acres.

cashcow · 22-10-2018 7:39pm

littelady wrote: »

They are looking for an acre each. Farm has about 200 acres

I think this is a decision the current owner of the land needs to make. where is your husband with the transfer process at the moment? is their a tax liability involved?

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:39pm

Eric, I was thinking that way too and because my hubby does put in the hours and doesn't get a big income he would class his site as part of his wage.

James 007 · 22-10-2018 7:41pm

Best way for this to be done is for the alive parents/parent to gift a site to each of their siblings, its assuming you get planning permission on it too. It depends on the council but in our case there was a recent change from 5 houses in a row to 7 over a certain distance. This gave myself/brother planning permission. Other brother got the farm. Only sister who doesn't have local needs, will probably get the mothers site, still waiting though :rolleyes:, but she will probably get the best site with mountain views etc. The other side of the coin is how well off are the other sisters, if well off compared to your husband then I would have issues over it too.

rovertom · 22-10-2018 7:45pm

If it was 20 acres, handing over portions of it with site potential might be a pain but at 200 acres, your husband is taking the piss.
He is inheriting 1 million euro worth of land minimum possibly double that plus no doubt stock machinery, buildings, entitlements etc and he won't give a sites to his sisters. The sad thing here is that he is possibly backed up by father with similar mindset.

pat73 · 22-10-2018 7:45pm

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

IF your husband is taking over the family farm has his parents looked after his sister's financially and your husband gets to run the farm..has his parents mentioned about given sites to his sisters?.are they building to live in or sell on.Does he get on with his sisters. Has your husband to settle with your sisters financially. It sometimes is the case and he might have to borrow to settle with them and they looking for sites as well might be a tipping point for him.Answers to these questions are important. People think when u get 200 acres u are getting 2 million euros in your bank account. U are never going to sell it u are only getting a job and when your time is up you pass it on to the next generation

lalababa · 22-10-2018 7:46pm

Is it the 2/3 acres he's pissed about or the fact they'll be living close and he hates them? If it's the former and they're not getting big big money as well as sites then he's a p***k.

ED E · 22-10-2018 7:46pm

Give them an acre each but at different corners. Free security.

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:46pm

The farm is with the solicitors ready to be handed over. Not sure on the tax side of things I think it was costing in the region of 30k to sign over

_Brian · 22-10-2018 7:46pm

Sounds awfully mean to in any way resent giving them such a small % of the farm.

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:48pm

Ed E ...the sites would be side by side, but I like your thinking

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:49pm

Deleted User wrote: »

How big is the farm? Half an acre each will cover three sites.

_Brian wrote: »

Sounds awfully mean to in any way resent giving them such a small % of the farm.

Are you a male farmer?

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:52pm

James 007 wrote: »

Best way for this to be done is for the alive parents/parent to gift a site to each of their siblings, its assuming you get planning permission on it too. It depends on the council but in our case there was a recent change from 5 houses in a row to 7 over a certain distance. This gave myself/brother planning permission. Other brother got the farm. Only sister who doesn't have local needs, will probably get the mothers site, still waiting though :rolleyes:, but she will probably get the best site with mountain views etc. The other side of the coin is how well off are the other sisters, if well off compared to your husband then I would have issues over it too.

The girls wouldn't be overly well off. Comfortable they all work as does their partners

mayota · 22-10-2018 7:53pm

littelady wrote: »

The farm is with the solicitors ready to be handed over. Not sure on the tax side of things I think it was costing in the region of 30k to sign over

The sites should be gifted by the parents before transfer.

littelady · 22-10-2018 7:56pm

rovertom wrote: »

If it was 20 acres, handing over portions of it with site potential might be a pain but at 200 acres, your husband is taking the piss.
He is inheriting 1 million euro worth of land minimum possibly double that plus no doubt stock machinery, buildings, entitlements etc and he won't give a sites to his sisters. The sad thing here is that he is possibly backed up by father with similar mindset.

I agree he is inheriting allot of land and machinery but also inheriting the debts and he is expected to keep it for the next generation. He will never see the millions. His dad will give up the sites.

_Brian · 22-10-2018 7:56pm

littelady wrote: »

Are you a male farmer?

Why would that matter ??

salmocab · 22-10-2018 7:57pm

Hands up I’m a city slicker but an acre sounds like quite a big plot to get. I know plenty of people living down the country on 1/2 acre plots or thereabouts and they are good size plots.
As to the giving, I’d imagine those sisters always thought they’d get the land and feel entitled but I can also see how he may feel that he’s earned it.

Sheep breeder · 22-10-2018 7:59pm

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Now not making assumptions in this case , but usually the son would have worked the farm all his life while the daughters went off to college / pursued careers outside the farm, its a mix of tradition and probably sexism on behalf of the parents not involving the daughters in the family farm, not too fair but were it the case that I was the sibling who stayed at home and tended the farm all my life , siblings who had never done a tap demanding land would piss me off.

A lot of farmers children all worked on the farm when they were younger and put in as much work.
A local farmer who gave the farm to the son and a small amount of money to his two daughters, the farmer died soon after and the son got married and the new wife would not live in the same house as his mother and she had to move out of home and in with the daughter in Dublin after a life time on the farm. Two years later the son split from the wife and now she wants the farm sold for her share and now none of the family will have none of the farm.

Icelandicseige · 22-10-2018 8:02pm

Dont go against them. What ever the(parents) owners of the land decide let it be. If they have only come looking now when realising farm was being signed over thats abit of a balls and those happen, especially since your husband has probably put in alot of work into it, with minimal input from the sisters.
Let it go and just do the best with what your given, just make sure sites are in a place where if sold you are not effected. When and if they sell its on their conscious, not yours.

Icelandicseige · 22-10-2018 8:04pm

Sheep breeder wrote: »

A lot of farmers children all worked on the farm when they were younger and put in as much work.
A local farmer who gave the farm to the son and a small amount of money to his two daughters, the farmer died soon after and the son got married and the new wife would not live in the same house as his mother and she had to move out of home and in with the daughter in Dublin after a life time on the farm. Two years later the son split from the wife and now she wants the farm sold for her share and now none of the family will have none of the farm.

Yep, see it all before. Moral of the story, be very very VERY careful who you marry.

Panch18 · 22-10-2018 8:05pm

A lot of people not having a clue commenting here

What we did here was buy the sister a site - could be an option

august12 · 22-10-2018 8:07pm

mayota wrote:

The sites should be gifted by the parents before transfer.

Would agree here, and ensure when selecting the site location, corner sites and as far away as possible from the farming sheds, parlour, milking block etc. And of course not in line of sight of your own house, there is the chance these sites might be sold later on, so take that into consideration and work out the possible implications this might have, so select site locations carefully. I do feel they are entitled to this given the size of farm but hubbie shouldn't have to pay the legal costs for transfer. There is a site gift tax exemption but there is certain criteria to avail of this.

J.O. Farmer · 22-10-2018 8:08pm

littelady wrote: »

I agree he is inheriting allot of land and machinery but also inheriting the debts and he is expected to keep it for the next generation. He will never see the millions. His dad will give up the sites.

Is it 3 acres in 200 or 3 acres in 20.

If it's 3 acres in 200 there's no real difference in inheriting 197 acres v 200 acres. Those 3 acres won't make him or break him regardless of debts or whether he sells it or not.
It's 1.5% of the area and depending on how he farms, the weather, natural disasters, animal disease breaksdowns etc. multiples of that percentage can be made or lost on current profits in any given year.

Families are complex though so it would appear if he's that pissed off he maybe doesn't get on with them but it's hard to have sympathy with a man getting 197 acres for only 30k after all's paid for complaining about not getting the last 3 acres.

BuboBubo · 22-10-2018 8:09pm

I think the minimum size for a residential site is 0.6 of an acre, just a little over the half acre suggested by previous posters.

I would leave this in your parents hands to sort out, presumably the farm still belongs to them on paper. Don't know where you are situated, I know sites around my area (Co. Wexford) are fetching approx 60k. Even if your sisters and their spouses are working - it's a huge outlay, and understandably they want their "share" to build on.

Let your parents decide, if they don't want to give them sites, fair enough. If they do - you'll have to live with it, unfortunately.

shenanagans · 22-10-2018 8:15pm

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

Do you have kids??

In 30 years time..... your son is getting the farm..... your daughter turns to you both and say that's OK, give the farm to him but I'd like a site...... You're giving him everything, all I ask is a site to have a home so I'm not lumbered with an enormous mortgage.

Would you give all to your son and tell your daughter to take a hike!??!?

Odelay · 22-10-2018 8:18pm

littelady wrote: »

Are you a male farmer?

Genitals have nothing to do with the issue.

Wildly Boaring · 22-10-2018 8:22pm

shenanagans wrote: »

Do you have kids??

In 30 years time..... your son is getting the farm..... your daughter turns to you both and say that's OK, give the farm to him but I'd like a site...... You're giving him everything, all I ask is a site to have a home so I'm not lumbered with an enormous mortgage.

Would you give all to your son and tell your daughter to take a hike!??!?

Fully agree with this.

salmocab · 22-10-2018 8:24pm

shenanagans wrote: »

Do you have kids??

In 30 years time..... your son is getting the farm..... your daughter turns to you both and say that's OK, give the farm to him but I'd like a site...... You're giving him everything, all I ask is a site to have a home so I'm not lumbered with an enormous mortgage.

Would you give all to your son and tell your daughter to take a hike!??!?

And in another few generations it’s no longer a farm it’s a housing estate with a pile of relatives living in it. I’m being flippant but land can’t be cut up continually eventually it has to stop.

Tell me how · 22-10-2018 8:27pm

OP, this seems like a no brainer, yet, your husband is annoyed to the point of not wanting to talk about it.

Let him know what he is inheriting versus what he is being asked to give up. I think it's worth discussing beyond just making the decisions on the sites. What type of relationship does he want with his sisters in to the future? Is he happy to have 3 acres more and for his children to not know their aunts and cousins maybe? How about you? Would you like the idea of being able to call over to them without having to plan it as a visit or them to you? As someone who is close to his siblings, the idea of living near them and maintaining some sort of the relationship we had growing up is appealing to me.

He may have worked on it and they may have never gone near it, but, so what. Any family that ever fell out over land was never in the better for it.

kurtainsider · 22-10-2018 8:28pm

On the face of it I think that your husbands parents would be absolutely stupid to sign over the farm to your husband at all. Never mind giving the sisters a site to build a house.

As they become older and infirm having their daughters next door would be a huge help to them. Your husband, the son, sounds like a spoiled, entitled brat who inherits 98% of the entire lot plus stock, machinery, sheds and goodness knows what else and his reaction is that he's beside himself with resentment at his sisters getting 1% each. Are they actually expecting him or indeed you to look after them in their old age?

To summarise: Sites for the sisters - Grow old at home with their daughters to look in on them and help them.
No sites for the sisters - The county home before the year is out.

littelady · 22-10-2018 8:28pm

If my son decides to take on the farm that's ok he should be given a site too. My daughter will have the option to farm too if she does not want this we will pay for her education and a deposit not a site.

shenanagans · 22-10-2018 8:29pm

salmocab wrote: »

And in another few generations it’s no longer a farm it’s a housing estate with a pile of relatives living in it. I’m being flippant but land can’t be cut up continually eventually it has to stop.

Sell it then. Split cash between all siblings.

J.O. Farmer · 22-10-2018 8:31pm

Tell me how wrote: »

Would you like the idea of being able to call over to them without having to plan it as a visit or them to you?

Maybe this is the problem. Maybe he's waited his entire life to get away from them.

littelady · 22-10-2018 8:32pm

My husband won't declare war on his sisters. This won't cause a situation were he will never talk to them again.

shenanagans · 22-10-2018 8:32pm

littelady wrote: »

If my son decides to take on the farm that's ok he should be given a site too. My daughter will have the option to farm too if she does not want this we will pay for her education and a deposit not a site.

Have your in laws given the sisters a deposit??

littelady · 22-10-2018 8:33pm

shenanagans wrote: »

Sell it then. Split cash between all siblings.

Your obviously not from a farming background

22-10-2018 8:33pm

littelady wrote: »

rovertom wrote: »

If it was 20 acres, handing over portions of it with site potential might be a pain but at 200 acres, your husband is taking the piss.
He is inheriting 1 million euro worth of land minimum possibly double that plus no doubt stock machinery, buildings, entitlements etc and he won't give a sites to his sisters. The sad thing here is that he is possibly backed up by father with similar mindset.

I agree he is inheriting allot of land and machinery but also inheriting the debts and he is expected to keep it for the next generation. He will never see the millions. His dad will give up the sites.

Is the farm dairy beef or tillage
Does your husband work off farm.
Does he want to go farming?
I dont want to sound nosey but are yhe debts big?

First reading of this your husband sounds unreasonable not to give his sisters a site .
But thinking about it in more detail it can make sense.
He might not want to go farming.
The debts could be 200 or 300k or more and he might not want to take that on.
His sisters get a free site he gets a load of debt and a tax bill to inherit it .
Maybe needs money invested in it too.
Lastly the one that hits me is in a lot of cases here when a son takes over a farm his parents still draw a wage or wage of sorts from it. Be it esb and heating paid for them or similar. The farm might not be able to sustain this.
Even further down the line he might be seen to be responsible for nursing home bills and so on .

shenanagans · 22-10-2018 8:34pm

littelady wrote: »

My husband won't declare war on his sisters. This won't cause a situation were he will never talk to them again.

It might if he refuses to give them a site.

They will surely feel he is being selfish and GREEDY.

littelady · 22-10-2018 8:35pm

J.O. Farmer wrote: »

Maybe this is the problem. Maybe he's waited his entire life to get away from them.

shenanagans wrote: »

Have your in laws given the sisters a deposit??

In 2 cases yes. But the sites are more valuable

Sisters wanting sites

Would you Give your Son Daughter a site on the farm 451 votes

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